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Spright. No doubt; dress, dress, man; no must run to get ready my soup. Come, gentime is to be lost.

tlemen, Cape. Well, but, Jack, I cannot say that at Rob. Did you observe, sir? present I

Gov. Most feelingly! But it will soon be over. Spright. Pr’ythee explain. What would you Rob. Courage, sir ; times, perhaps, may say?

change. Cape. Why, then, I cannot say that I have Cape. A poor prospect, Robin! But this any other garments at home.

scheme of life at last must be changed: for what Spright. oh, I understand you; is that all ? spirit, with the least spark of generosity, can supHere, here, take my

port a life of eternal obligation and disagreeaCape. Dear, Sprightly, I am quite ashamed, ble drudgery? Inclination not consulted, genius

cramped, and talents misapplied ! Spright. That's not so obliging, George ; what, sorry to give me the greatest pleasure What prospect have those authors to be read, that —But, I have no time for speeches, 1| Whose daily writings earn their daily bread!

and sorry:


SCENE I.-Cadwallader's House. Mrs. Cad. Why then do you love me?

Cape. With all my soul! YouxG CAPE and Mrs. CADWALLADER at Mrs. Cad. Upon your sayso ? cards.

Cape. Upon my sayso.

Mrs. Cad. I'm glad on't, with all my heart.Mrs. Cad. You want four, and I two, and my This is the rarest pastime ! deal: now, knave noddy--no, hearts be trumps. Cape. But you have not answered my quesCape. I beg.

tion. Mrs. Cad. Will you stock them?

Mrs. Cad. Hey? that's true. Why, I believe Cape. Go on, if you please, madam.

there's no love lost. Mrs. Cud. Hearts again—. one, two, three; Cape. So; our game will soon be over; I shall one, two-bang them, they won't slip, three.- be up at a deal. I wish I mayn't be engaged to Diamonds—the two: have you higher than the play deeper here than I intended, though. (Aside. queen?

Mrs. Cad. Well; now; 'tis your turn. Cape. No, madam.

Cape. True, ay; but, zooks, you are too basty! Mrs. Cad. Then there's highest-aud lowest, the pleasure of this play, like hunting, does not by gosh! Games are even ; you are to deal. consist in immediately chopping the prey.

Cape. Pshaw, hang cards! there are other Mrs. Cad. No! how then ? amusements better suited to a tête-à-tête, than Cape. Why, first, I am to start you; then run any of the four aces can afford us.

you a little in view; then lose you; then unraMrs. Cad. What pastimes be they? We ben't vel all the tricks and doubles you make to escape enough for hurt the whistle, nor blind-man's me, buff; but I'll call our Bell, and Robin the butler. -Dicky will be here by and ty.

You fly o'er hedge and stile, Cape. Hold a minute. I have a game to pro- I pursue for many a mile: pose, where the presence of a third person, es- You grow tired at last, and squat ; pecially Mr. Cadwallader's, would totally ruin Then I catch you, and all that. Mrs. Cad. Ay! what can that be?

Mrs. Cad. Dear me, there's a deal on't! I Cape. Can't you guess?

shall never be able to hold out long; I had raMrs. Cad. Not I'; questions and commands, ther be taken in view. mayhap.

Cape. I believe you. Cap. Not absolutely that—some little resem- Mrs. Cad. Well, come, begin and start me, blance; for I am to request, and you are to com- that I may come the sooner to squatting-hush! Dand.

here's sister; what the deuce brought her; Bell Nss. Cad. Oh, daisy! that's charming;: I will be for learning this game, too; but dont you never played at that in all my born days; come, teach her, for your life, Mr. Poet! begin, then.

Enter ARABELLA. Cape. Can you love me?

Mrs. Cad. Love you ! But is it in jest or ear- Ara. Your mantua-maker, with your new sack, Dest?

sister. Cape. That is as you please to determine. Mrs. Cad. Is that all? She might have staid,

Mrs. Cad. But mayn't I ask you questions, I think. too?

Ara. What? You were better engaged? But Cape. Doubtless.

don't be angry; I am sorry I interrupted you.

the sport.

vou: had



Mrs. Cad. Hey! Now will I be hanged if she Enter Mes. CADWALLADER. ben't jealous of Mr. Poet; but I'll listen, and see the end on't, I am resolred. (Aside and erit.

Mrs. Cad. Sob! Mr. Poet, you are a pretty : Ara. Are you concerned at the interruption, gentleman, indeed; ecod, I'm glad I have caught too?

you. I'm not such a fool as you think for, man; Cape. It was a very seasonable one, I promise but here will be Dicky presently; he shall bear


staid a little longer, I don't know of your tricks, he shall : I'll let him koow what a what might have been the consequence.

pretty person he has got in his house. Ara. No danger to your person, I hope? Cape. There's no parrying this; had not I betCape. Some little attacks upon it.

ter decamp? “ Ara. Which were as fcebly resisted.

Ara. And leave me to the mercy of the eneCape. Why, consider, my dear Bell, though iny? My brother's temper is so odd, there's no your sister is a fool, she is a fine woman, and knowing in what light he'll see this. Aesh is frail.

Mrs. Cad. Oh, he's below; I bear him. Now Ara. Dear Bell! and Aesh is frail ! we are we shall hear what he'll say to you, madam. grown strangely familiar, I thiuk. Cupe. Hey-day? In what corner sits the wind, Enter CADWALLADER, GOVERNOR, SPRIGOTLY,

and ROBIN. Ara. Where it may possibly blow strong Cad. No, pray walk in Mr. Interpreter; be enough to overset your hopes.


and I, I like bis royal highness mightiCape. That a breeze of your breath can do. ly; he is a polite, pretty, well-bred gentlemanAru. Affected!

but damn his soup! Cape. You are obliging, madam; but, pray, Gon. Why, sir, you eat as if you liked it. what is the meaning of all this?

Cad. Liked it! hey, egad, I would not eat Ara. Ask your own guilty conscience. another mess to be his master's prime minister ;

Cape. Were I inclined to flatter myself, this as bitter as gall, and as black as my hat; and little passion would be no bad presage. there have I been sitting these two hours with

Ara. You may prove a false prophet. my legs under me, till they are both as dead as a

Cape. Let me die if I know wbat to-but to herring. descend to a little common sense; what part of Cape. Your dinner displeased you? my conduct

Cad. Displeased! hey! look'ye, Mr. Sprightly, Ara. Look’ye, Mr. Cape, all explanations are I'm mightily obliged to you for the honour; unnecessary : I have been lucky enough to dis- but bold, hold! you shall never persuade me to cover your disposition before it is too late; and be a hobblinwisky again, if the great cham of so you know there's no occasion—but, however, the Calmucs were to come over himself

. Hey! I'll not be any impediment to you: my sister will and what a damned language he has got ! be back iminediately ; I suppose my presence Whee, haw, haw—but you speak it very fluwill only—but consider, sir, I have a brother's ently. honour

Gov. I was long resident in the country. Cape. Which is as safe from me, as if it was Cape. May be so, but he seems to speak it betlocked up in your brother's closet; but surely, ter; you have a foreign kind of an accent: you madam, you are a little capricious here: have I don't sound it through the nose so well as he.done any thing but obey your directions ? Hey! well, Becky, what, and how bave you en

Ara. That was founded upon a supposition, tertained Mr. Cape? that but no matter.

Mrs. Cad. Oh! here have been fine doings Cape. That, what?

since you have been gone! Ara. Why, I was weak enough to believe, Cape. So now comes on the storm. what you was wicked enough to protest

Cad. Hey! hold, hold! what has been the Cape. That I loved you? and what reason matter? bave I given you to doubt it?

Mrs. Cad. Matter! why, the devil is in the Ara. A pretty situation I found you in at my poet, I think!

Cad. The devil! hold. Cape. An assumed warmth, for the better con- Mrs. Cad. Wby, here he has been making love cealing the fraud.

to me like betwitched. Mrs. Cad. What's that?

Cad. How! which way?

[Aside, listening. Mrs. Cad. Why, some ou't was out of bis Cape. Surely, if you doubted my constancy, poetry, I think. you must have a better opinion of my under- Cad. Hey! hold, hold! egad, I believe he's a standing.

little mad ; this morning he took me for king Mrs. Cad. Mighty well!

[Aside. Turnus, you; now, who can tell but this after Cape. What! an idiot, a driveller; no conside noon he may take you for queen Dido? ration upon earth, but my paving the way to the Mrs. Cad. And there he told me I was to run, possession of you, could have prevailed upon ine and to double and squat, and there he was to to support her folly a minute.

catch me, and all that.



Cad. Hold, hold! Catch you? Mr. Cape, I Cad. Ay; no palliation? take it very unkindly; it was, d'ye see, a very Mrs. Cad. Ay; no tribulation? Tis a shame, unfriendly thing to make love to Becky in my so it is. absence.

Cupe. When I have leave to speakCape. But, sir

Cad. Speak! what the devil can you say? Cad. And it was the more ungenerous, Mr. Cape. Nay, sirCape, to take this advantage, as you know she is Spright. Let's hear him, Mr. Cadwallader, but a foolish woman.

however. Mrs. Cad. Ay, me, who am but a foolish wo- Cad. Hold, hold! come, begin, then. man.

Cape. And first to you, Mr. Sprightly, as you Cape. Bit hear me!

seem most interested; pray, does this charge corCad. A poor, ignorant, illiterate, poor Becky! respond with any other action of my lite, since And for a man of your parts to attack

I have had the honour to know you? Cape. There's no

Spright. Indeed, I can't say that I recollect; Cud. Hold, hold! ecod, it is just as if the but still as the scholiastsNemo repente turGrand Signior, at the head of his Janissaries, was pissimus. to kick a chimney-sweeper?

Cad. Hold, hold; what's that? Mrs. Cad. Hey! what's that you say, Dicky? Spright. Why, that is as much as to say, this wbat, be I like a chimney-sweeper?

is bad enough. Cad. Hey! hold, hold! Zounds! no, Beck! Mrs. Cad. By gosh! and so it is. hey! no; that's only by way of simile, to let him Cad. Ecod, and so it is : speak a little more see I understand bis tropes and figures as well as Latin to him; if I had been bred at the univerhimself, egad! and therefore

sity, you should have it both sides of your Spright. Nay; but, Mr. Cadwallader

Cad. Don't mention it, Mr. Sprightly; he's Cupe. A little patience, gentlemen : now, sir, the first poet I ever had in my house, except the to you. You were pleased yourself to drop a bellman for a Christmas-box.

few hints of your lady's weakness ; might not Spright. Good sir!

she take too seriously what was meant as a mere Cad. And-hold, hold! I am resolved he shall matter of merriment? be the last.

Cad. Hey! hold, hold ! Spright. I have but one way to silence him. Spright. A paltry excuse; can any woman be Cad. And let me tell you

such a fool as not to know when a man has a deSpright. Nay, sir, I must tell him; he owes sign upon her person? his reception, here, to my recommendation; any Cad. Answer that, Mr. Cape, hey! Answer abuse of your goodness, any breach of hospitali- that. ty, here, he is answerable to me for.

Cape. I can only answer for the innocency of Cad. lley ! bold, hold; so he is, ecod: at him; my own intentions; may not your lady, appregive it him hoine.

hensive of my becoming too great a favourite, Spright. Ungrateful monster! And is this your contrive this charge with a view of destroying return, for the open, generous treatment

the connectionMrs. Cad. As good fried cow-heel, with a Spright. Connection! roast fowl and sausages, as ever came to a Cad. Hey! hold, bold! connection? table.

Spright. There's something in thatCad. Hush, Beck, hush!

Cad. Hey! is there? hold, hold, hey! egad, Spright. And could you find no other object he is right-you're right, Mr. Cape; hold, Becky, but Mr. Cadwallader; a man, perhaps, possess my dear, how the devil could you be so wicked, ed of a genius superior to your own

hey! child; ecod, hold, hold! how could you Cad. If I had had a university education- have the wickedness to attempt to destroy the

Spright. And of a family as old as the crea- connection ! tion!

Mrs. Cad. I don't know what you say. Cad. Older; Beck, fetch the pedigree. Cad. D'ye hear? You are an incendiary, but

Spright. Thus far relates to this gentleman; 1 you have missed your point; the connection shall but now, sir, what apology can you make me, be only the stronger: My dear friend, I beg ten who was your passport, your security ?

thousand pardons, I was too hasty; but, ecod, Cad. Zounds, none ! fight him!

Becky's to blame. Spright. Fight him!

Cape. The return of your favour has effaced Cad. Ay, do; I'd fight him myself, if I had every other impression. not had the measles last winter; but stay till I Cad. There's a good-natured creature! get out of the room.

Cape. But if you have the least doubts remainSpright. No: be's sure of a protection here, ing, this lady, your sister, I believe, will do me the presence of the ladies.

the justice to ownCad. Psha, pox! they belong to the family; Mrs. Cad. Ay, ask my fellow if I be a thief! never mind them.

Cad. Wbat the devil is Becky at now? Spright. Well, sir, are you dumb? No ex- Mrs. Cad. She's as bad as he. cuse? No palliation?

Cad. Bad as he!-Hey! how! what the de.

vil! she did not make love to you too? Stop, Cad. Of what ! Hold, hold! of making love to hey! hold, bold, hold!

Bell? Mrs. Cad. Why do, foolish--but you are al- Cape. Guilty. ways running on with your rigginonrowles, and Cad. Hey! how! Hold, zounds! No, what, won't stay to hear a body'e story out.

not with an intention to marry her? Cad. Well, Beck! come, let's have it. Cape. With the lady's approbation, and your

Mrs. Cad. Be quiet then; why, as I was tell- kind consent. ing you, first he made love to me, and wanted Cad. Hold, hold! what, my consent to marry me to be a hare!

you? Cad. A hare ! hold, ecod, that was whimsical!

Cape. Ay, sir. a hare! hey! oh, ecod, that might be because he Cad. Hold, hold, hold! what, our Bell to mix thought you a little hair-brained already, Becky! the blood of the Cadwalladers with the puddle a damned good story; Well, Becky, go on, let's of a poet? have it out.

Cape. Sir! Mrs. Cad. No, I won't tell you no more, so I Cad. A petty, paltry, ragged, rhimingwon't.

Spright. But Mr.Cad. Nay, pr’ythee, Beck!

Cad. A scribbling-hold, hold, hold-garretMrs. Cad. Hold your tongue then and so teer, that has no more cloaths than backs, no there he was going on with his nonsense; and so more heads than hats, ard no shoes to his feet. in came our Bell; and som

Spright. Nay, butCod. Hold, hold, Becky,—damn your so's; go Cad. The offspring of a dunghill! born in a on, child, but leave out your so's; 'tis a low- cellar--Hold, hold- and living in a garret! a hold, hold, vulgar-but go on.

fungus, a mushroom! Mrs. Cad. Why, how can I go on, when you Cape. Sir, my family stop me every minute? Well, and then our Bell Cad. Your family! hold, hold, hold-Peter, came in, and interrupted him; and methought fetch the pedigree; I'll show you—your family! she looked very frumpish and jealous.

a little obscure-hold, hold, I don't believe you Cad. Well.

ever had a grandfather-
Mrs. Cad. And so I went out and listened.
Cad. So; what, you staid and listened ?
Mrs. Cad. No; I tell you, upon my staying,

Enter Peter with the pedigree. she went out ; no-upon my going out, she There it is! there; Peter, help me to stretch it staid.

out: there's seven yards more of lineals, besides Cud. This is a damned blind story; but go on, three of collaterals, that I expect next Monday Beck.

from the herald's office : d'ye see, Mr. Sprightly? Mrs. Cad. And then at first she scolded him Spright. Prodigious! roundly for making love to me; and then be said, Cad. Nay; but look'e, there's Welsh princes as how she advised him to it : and then she said and ambassadors, and kings of Scotland, and no; and then he said

members of parliament: hold, hold ! ecod, I no Cad. Hold, hold; we shall never understand more mind an eorl or a lord in my pedigree, hold, all these he's and she's; this may all be very true, hold, than Kuli Khan would a serjeant in the Beck, but hold, hold; as I hope to be saved, trained bands. thou art the worst teller of a story

Spright. An amazing descent! Mrs. Cad. Well, I have but a word more; and Cad. Hey! is it not? And for this low, lousy, then he said, as how I was a great fool. son of a shoemaker, to talk of families-hold,

Cad. Not much mistaken in that. (Aside. hold, get out of my house!

Mrs. Cad. And that he would not have staid Rob. Now is your time, sir. with me a minute, but to pave the way to the Cad. Mr. Sprightly, turn him out. possession of she.

Goo. Stop, sir; I have a secret to disclose, Cad. Well, Beck, well?


may make you alter your intentions. Mrs. Cad. And so—that's all.

Cad. Hold, hold! how, Mr. Interpreter? Cad. Make love to her, in order to get posses- Gov. You are now to regard that young man sion of you?

in a very different light, and consider him as my Mrs. Cad. Love to me, in order to get she.

Cad. Hey! Oh, now, I begin to understand. Cape. Your son, sir ! Hey! What! is this true, Bell, Hey! Hold, Gor. In a moment, George, the mystery shall hold, hold; ecod, I begin to smoke, hey! Mr. be explained. Cape?

Cad. Your son ! Hold, hold! and what then? Cape. How shall I act?

Gov. Then! Why then he is no longer the Rob. Own it, sir; I have a reason.

scribbler, the mushroom you have described ; Cad. Well, what say you, Mr. Cape? Let's but of birth and fortune equal to your own. have it without equivocation; or, hold, hold, Cad. What! the son of an interpreter equal to hold, mental reservation ! Guilty, or not? me! A fellow that trudges about, teaching of Cape. Of what, sir?

languages to foreign courts !

Gov. A teacher of languages.


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Cad. Stay; ecod, a runner to Monsieurs and Goo. Rise, my boy. I have ventured far to Marquisses !

fix thy fortune, George; but, to find the worthy Spright. You are mistaken, sir.

of it, more than o'erpays my toil; the rest of my Cad. A jack-pudding! that takes fillips on the story shall be reserved till we are alone. nose for sixpence a piece! Hold, hold ! ecod, give Cad. Hey! hold, hold, hold ! ecod, a good me eighteen-pennyworth, and change for half-a- sensible old fellow this; but hark’ye, Sprightly, I

have made a damned blunder here. Hold, hold ! Gov. Stop when you are well.

Mr. Governor, I ask ten thousand pardons; but Cad. A spunger at other men's tables ! that has who the devil could have thought that the interjallap put into his beer, and his face blacked at preter to prince PotuwowskyChristmas for the diversion of children !

Gov. Oh, sir, you have in your power sufficient Gov. I can hold no longer. 'Sdeath, sir, who means to atone for the injuries done us both. is it you dare treat in this manner!

Cud. Hold, how? Cad. Hey! Zounds, Mr. Sprightly, lay lold of Gov. By bestowing your sister with, I flatter him.

myself, no great violence to her inclinations, Spright. Calm your choler. Indeed, Mr. Cad- here. wallader, nothing could excuse your behaviour Cad. What, marry Bell! Hey! Hold, hold, to this gentleman, but your mistaking his per- | bold: zounds, Bell, take him, do; 'ecod, he's a

good likely-hey! Will you? Cad. Hold, hold! Is not he interpreter to- Ara. Ishan't disobey you, sir. Spright. No.

Cad. Shan't you? That's right. Who the devil Cad. Why did not you tell

knows, but he may come to be a governor himSpright. That was a niistake. This gentle self; hey! Hold, hold; come here, then, give man is the prince's friend; and, by long resi- me your hands both. [Joins their hands.] There, dence in the monarch's country, is perfect master there; the business is done. And now, brother of the language.

governorCad. But who the devil is he, then?

Gov. And now brother Cadwallader. Spright. He is Mr. Cape, sir; a man of un- Cad. Hey! Beck, here's something now for my bleinished honour, capital fortune, and late go- pedigree; we'll pop in the Governor to-morrow. vernor of one of our most considerable settle- Mrs. Cad. Hark'ye, Mr. Governor, can you give ments.

me a black boy and a monkey? Cad. Governor ! 'Hold, hold! and how came Cad. Hey! ay, ay, you shall have a black boy, you father to -hey!

and a monkey, and a parrot too, Beck. Gov. By marrying his mother.

Spright. Dear George, I am a little late in my Cape. But how am I to regard this? congratulation; but-

Gov. As a solemn truth; that foreign friend, Goo. Which, if he is, in acknowledging your to whom you owe your education, was no other disinterested friendship, I shall be sorry I ever than myself: I had my reasons, perhaps capri- owned him. Now, Robin, my cares are over, and cious ones, for concealing this ; but now they my wishes full; and if George remains as uncease, and I am proud to own my son.

tainted by affluence as he has been untempted by Cape. Sir! it is not for me [Kneeling.], but if distress, I have given the poor a protector, his gratitude, duty, filial

country an advocate, and the world a friend,

[Ereunt omnes.

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