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Enter Duke's Serount.

phiz, a canting phrase, and as many lies as no

cessary.-Hem! Duke. Sir Harry, pr’ythee, what are we to do

Enter FREEMAN. at Lovel's when we come there?

Sir Har. We shall have the fiddles, I suppose? Free. Oh, Philip! How do you do, Philip?

Duke. The fiddles! I have done with dancing You have lost your master, I find? ever since the last fit of the gout. I'll tell you Phi. It is a loss, indeed, sir.--So good a genwhat, my dear boy, I positively cannot be with tleman !-He must be nearly got into Devonshire them, unless we have a little

by this time.- -Sir, your servant. [ Makes a motion as if with the dice-bor. Free. Why in such a hurry, Philip? Sir Har. Fie, my lord duke !

Phi. I shall leave the house as little as possiDuke. Look ye, baronet, I insist on it.-Who ble, now his honour is away. the devil of any fashion can possibly spend an Free. You are in the right, Philip. evening without it?—But I shall lose the girls- Phi. Servants, at such times, are too apt to How grave you look, ha, ha, ha!-Well, let there be negligent and extravagant, sir. be fiddles.

Free. True; the master's absence is the time Sir Har. But, my dear lord, I shall be quite to try a good servant in. miserable without you.

Phi. It is so, sir. Sir, your servant. [Going. Duke. Well, I won't be particular; I'll do as Free. Oh, Mr. Philip! pray stay; you must the rest do.- Tol, lol, lol!

do me a piece of service. Erit, singing and dancing. Phi. You command me, sir. Sir Har. He had the assurance last winter, to Free. I look upon you, Philip, as one of the court a tradesman's daughter in the city, with best behaved, most sensible, completest (Philip two thousand pounds to her fortune, and got me box s.) rascals in the world!

[ Aside to write his love-letters. He pretended to be an Phi. Your honour is pleased to compliment. ensign in a marching regiment; so wheedled the Free. There is a tenant of mine in Essex, a folks into consent, and would have carried the very honest man— Poor fellow, he has a great girl off, but was unluckily prevented by the number of children; and they have sent me one washerwoman, who happened to be his first of them, a tall gawky boy, to make a servant of; cousin.

but my folks say they can do nothing with him.

Phi. Let me have him, sir.

Free. In truth he is an unlicked cub.
Mr. Philip, your servant.

Phi. I will lick him into someting, I warrant Phi. You are welcome to England, Sir Ilarry; you, sir.-Now my master is absent, I shall have I liope you received the card, and will do us the a good deal of time upon my hands; and I hate honour of your company:-My master is gone to be idle, sir : in two months I'll engage to finisle into Devonshire.--We'll have a roaring night. him. Sir Har. I'll certainly wait on you.

Free. I don't doubt it.

[Aside. Phi. The girls will be with us.

Phi. I have twenty pupils in the parish of St. Sir Har. Is this a wedding supper, Philip? James's; and, for a table, or a side-board, or Phi. Wbat do you mean, Sir Harry? behind an equipage, or in the delivery of a mesSir Har. The Ďuke tells me so.

sage, or any thingPhi. The Duke's a fool.

Free. What have you for entrance Sir Hur. Take care what you say; his grace is Phi. I always leave it to gentlemen's generoa bruiser.

sity. Phi. I am a pupil of the same academy; and Free. Here is a guinea-I beg he may be taken not afraid of him, I assure you. Sir Harry, we'll care of. bave a noble batch-I have such wine for you ! Phi. That he shall, I promise you.—[Aside.] Sir Har. I am your man, Phil.

Your honour knows me? Phi. Egad the cellar shall bleed: I have some Free. Thoroughly.

[Aside. Burgundy that is fit for an emperor.My Phi. When can I see him, sir? master would bave given his ears for some of it Free. Now, directly-Call at my house, and t'other day to treat my lord what d'ye-call-him take him in your hand. with; but, I told him it wa


ha! charity Phi. Sir, I will be with you in a minute; I begins at home, ha ! — Odso, here is Mr. Free-will but step into the market to let the tradesman, my master's intimate friend; he's a dry one men know they must not trust any of our ser--Don't let us be seen together-he'll suspect vants, now they are at board wages-Humph! something.

Free. How happy is Mr. Lovel in so excellent Sir Har. I am gone.

a servant!

[Erit. Phi. Away, away;---remember-Burgundy Phi. Ha, ha, ha! This is one of my master's is the word.

prudent friends, who dines with bim three times Sir Har. Right-- Long corks! ha, Phil! (Mi-a-week, and thinks he is mighty generous in givmicks the drawing of a cork.]-Yours. [Exit. ing me tive guineas at Christmas.- --Damn all

Phi. Sow for a cast of my office-A starch such sncaking scoundrels, I say! (Erit.

was all

you !

[Knocking. deed.

SCENE III.-The Serdant's Hall in LOVEL'S Phi. Do, Jemmy; wake them, Jemmy; ha, House.

ha, ha!

Lov. Hip-Mr. Coachman! Kingston and Coachman, drunk und sleepy.

(Gives him a great slap on the face.

Coach. Oh, oh!-What! Zounds! Oh! damn [A knocking at the door.]

Lov. What ! blackey, blackey! King. Somebody knocks; Coachy, go-go to

[Pulls him by the nose. the door, Coachy.

King. Oh, oh !-What now? Curse you! Oh! Coach. I'll not go—do you go ; you black dog.

-Cot damn you ! King. Devil shall fetch me if I go,

Lov. Ha, ha, ha!

Knocking Phi. Ha, ha, ha! Well done, Jemmy! Ccok, Coach. Why, then, let them stay; I'll not go,

see those gentry to bed. damme-Ay, knock the door down, and let your

Cook. Marry come up, I say so too; not I inself in. King. Ay, ay, knock again, knock again!

Coach. She shan't see us to bed—We'll see Couch. Master is gone into Devonshire ; so he ourselves to bed. can't be there; so I'll go to sleep.

King. We got drunk together, and we'll go to King. So will I; I'll go to sleep, too!

bed together.

[Ereunt, reeling. Coach. You lie, deyil ! you shall not go to

Phi. You see how we live, boy? sleep till I am asleep—I am king of the kitchen! Lov. Yes; I sees how you live. King. No, you are not king ; but, when you

Phi. Let the supper be elegant, Cook. are drunk, you are sulky as hell ! Here is Cooky

Cook. Who pays for it? coming; she is king, and queen, too!

Phi. My master, to be sure; who else? ha, ha,

ha! He is rich enoug'i, I hope, ba, ha, ha!
Enter Cook.
Lov. Humph!

[ Aside.

Phi. Each of us must take a part, and sink it Cook. Somebody has knocked at the door in our next weekly bills; that is the way. twenty times; and nobody hears! Why, Coach- Lov. So!

Aside. man, Kingston ! Ye drunken bears, why don't Cook. Pr’ythee, Philip, what boy is this? one of you go to the door?

Phi. A boy of Freeman's recommending. Coach. You go, Cook; you go.

Lov. Yes ; I'm Squire Freeman's boy-leh ! Cook. Hang me if I go!

Cook. Freeman is a stingy hound; and you King. Yes, yes, Cooky, go; Mollsy, Pollsy, may tell him I say so. He dines here three

times a week, and I never saw the colour of bis Cook. Out, you black toad !-It is none of my money yet. business, and go I will not. [Sits down.

Lov. Ha, ha, ha! that is good-Freeman shall have it.

[ Aside. Enter Philip with Lovel disguised.

Cook. I must step to the tallow-chaudler's to Phi. I might have staid at the door all night, dispose of some of my perquisites; and, then, I'll as the little man in the play says, if I had not set about supper. had the key of the door in my pocket-What is Phi. Well said, Cook! that is right; the percome to you all ?

quisite is the thing, Cook. Cook. There is John Coachman and Kingston Cook. Cloe, Cloe! where are you, Cloe? as drunk as two bears.

[Calis. Phi. Ah, ah! my lads ;--what! finished already! These are the very best of servants !

Enter Cloe. Poor fellows! I suppose they have been drinking their master's good journey? ha, ha, ha!

Cloe. Yes, mistress. Lov. No doubt on't.

(Aside. Cook. Take that box and follow me. [Erit. Phi. Yo ho! get to bed, you dors, and sleep Cloe. Yes, mistress. [Takrs the bor.] Who is yourself sober, that you may be able to get drunk this? [Sceing LoVEL.] Hee, hec, hee! Oh! This again by-and-by. They are as fast as a church. is pretty boy ! Hee, hee, hee! Oh! This is pretty Jemmy?

red hair, hee, hee, hee! You shall be in love Lov. Anan?

with me, by-and-by! hee, hee! Phi. Do you love drinking?

[Erit, chucking LOVEL under the chin. Lov. Yes; I loves ale !

Lov. A very pretty ainour! (Aside.] Oh la! Phi. You dog, you shall swim in Burgundy. what a fine room is this ! Is this the dining room, Lov. Burgundy! what's that?

Phi. Cook, wake those honest gentlemen, and Phi. No; our drinking room, send them to bed.

Loo. La, la! what a fine lady here is! This Cook. It is impossible to wake them. is madam, I suppose ?

Lov. I think I could wake them, sir, if I might Phi. Where have you been, Kitty? -He!


pray, sir?


not I.

Enter Kitty.
Phi. Thus, sir-Coach, coach, coach!

(Loud. Kit. I have been disposing of some of his ho- Lov. Coach, coach, coach! [Imitating nour's shirts and other linen, which it is a shame Phi. Admirable !-the knave has a good ear his honour should wear any longer; mother Bar- Now, sir, tell me a lie. ter is above, and waits to know if you have any

Lov, O la! I never told a lie in my life. commands for her.

Phi. Then it is high time you should begin Phi. I shall dispose of my wardrobe to-mor- now; what is a servant good for, that can't tell

a lie? Kit. Who have we here? [LOVEL bows. Kit. And stand in it-Now I'll lecture him Phi. A boy of Freeman's; a poor, silly fool.

-[Takes out a book.)-This is “ The Servant's Loo. Thank you.

[Aside. Guide to Wealth, by Timothy Shoulderknot, Phi. I intend the entertainment this evening formerly servant to several noblemen, and now as a compliment to you, Kitty.

an officer in the customs; necessary for all serKit. I am your humble, Mr. Philip.

vants.' Phi. But, I beg I may see none of your airs,

Phi. Mind, sir, what excellent rules the book or hear any of your French gibberish with the contains, and remember them well--Come, Kitty, Duke.

beginkit. Don't be jealous, Pbil. Fawningly.

Phi. I intend, before our marriage, to settle Kit. [Reads.] Advice to the footman. something handsome upon you; and, with the

Let it for ever be your plan, five hundred pounds which I have already saved

To be the master, not the man, in this extravagant fellow's family

And do as little as you can. Loo. A dog! [Aside.] O la, la'! what! have you got five hundred pounds?

Loo. He, he, he! Yes, I'll do nothing at all; Phi. Peace, block head. Kit. I'll tell you what you shall do, Phil. Kit.At market, never think it stealing Phi. Ay, what shall I do?

To keep with tradesmen proper dealing ; Kit. You shall set up a chocolate-house, my All stewards have a fellou-feeling.' dear.

Phi. Yes, and be cuckolded ? [ Apart. Phi. You will understand that better one day

Kit. You know my education was a very gen- or other, boy. teel one. I was a half-boarder at Chelsea, and I

Kit. To the groom. speak French like a native-Comment tous porter Never allow your master able, jous, monsieur.

[Aukwardly. To judge of matters in the stable : Phi. Psha, psha!

If he should roughly speuk his mind, Kit. One is nothing without French--I shall Or to dismiss you seems inclined, shine in the bar-Do you speak French, boy?

Lame the best horse, or break his wind.' Lov. Anan

kit. Anan- the fool! ha, ha, ha!-Come Lov. Oddiness ! that's good—he, he, be! here, do, and let me new mould you a little. You

Kit. To the coachman, must be a good boy, and wait upon the gentle

If your good muster on you doats, folks to-night. [She ties, and powders his huir. Ner leave his house to serve a stranger ; Loo. Yes, an't please you, I'll do iny best.

But pocket huy, and straw, and oats, kit. His best ! O the natural! This is a strange And let the horses eat the manger.' tead of hair of thine, boy-It is so coarse, and wo carrotty.

Lov. Eat the ranger! He, he, he ! Lor. All my brothers and sisters be red in the Kit. I won't give you too much at a timepole.

Here, boy, take the book, and read it every night Phi.

and morning, before you say your prayers.

[Laugh. }Ha, ha, ha! Kit.

Phi. Ha, ha, ha! very good; but now for buKit. There now, you are something like-siness. Come, Philip, give the boy a lesson, and then I'll Kit. Right; I'll go and get one of the damask lecture him out of the Servant's Guide.

table-cioths, and some napkins; and be sure, Phi. Come, sir ; first, Hold up your head- Phil. your side-board is very smart. [Erit. very well-Turn out your toes, sir--very well- Phi. That it shall-come, Jemmy

Erit. Now call coach

Lov. Soh! soh! it works well- Exit. Lov. What is call coach?


you !

SCENE I.—The Servant's Hall, with the Sup | gives noble wages; and keeps noble company; per and Side-board set out.

and yet you two are not contented, but cheat him Philip, KITTY, and Lovel.

wherever you can lay your fingers. Shame on Kit. Well, Phil, what think you ? Don't we Lov. The fellow I thought a rogue, is the only look very smart? Now let them come as soon as honest servant in my house!

Aside. they will we shall be ready for them.

Kit. Out, you mealy-mouthed cur! Þhi. 'Tis all very well; but

Phi. Well, go tell his honour; do-ha, ha, ha! Kit. But what?

Tom. I soorn that_Dainn an informer! But Phi. Why, I wish we could get that snarling yet I hope his honour will find you two out one our, Tom, to make one.

day or other, that's all

[Erit Tom, Kit. What is the matter with him?

Kit. This fellow must be taken care of. Phi. I don't know; he's a queer son of a- Phi. I'll do his business for him, when his ho

Kit. Oh, I know him; he is one of your sneak- nour comes to town. ing, half-bred fellows, that prefers his master's Lov. You lie, you scoundrel! You will not interest to his own.

[Aside.]- la, here's a fine gentleman. Phi. Here he is.

Enter Duke's Serrant.
Enter Tom

Duke. Ah, ma chere mademseile! Comment And why won't you make one to-night, Tom? vous portez vous ?


. Here's cook, and coachman, and all of us. Kit. Fort bien, je vous remercier, monsieur.

Tom. I tell you again, I will not make one. Phi. Now we shall bave nonsense by wholePhi. We shall have something that's good.

sale. Tom. And make your master pay for it? Duke. How do you do, Philip?

Phi. I warrant, now, you think yourself, migli- Phi. Your grace's humble servant. ty honestha, ha, ha!

Duke. But, my dear Kitty- [Talk apart. Tom. A little honester than you, I hope, and Phi. Jenny. not brag neither.

Lov. Anan Kit. Iark you, Mr. Honesty, don't be saucy- Phi. Come along with me, and I'll make you Lov. This is worth listening to. [Aside free of the cellar.

Tom. What, madam, you are afraid for your Loo. Yes--I will—but won't you ask he to bully, are you?

drink? Kit, Cully, sirrah, cully !--- Afraid, sirrah! Phi. No, no; he will have his share by-andAfraid of what?

[Goes up to Tom. by; come along. Phi. Ay, sir, afraid of what?

Lov. Yes. [Exeunt Philip and Lover. [Goes up on the other side. Kit. Indeed, I thought your grace an age Lov. Ay, sir, afraid of what? [Goes up too. coming. Tom. I value none of


tricks. Duke. Upon honour, our house is but this Phi. What do you know, sirrah?

moment up. You have a damned vile collection Kit. Ay; what do you know?

of pictures, I observe, above stairs, Kitty. Your Lov. Ay, sir, what do you


squire has no taste. Tom. I know that you two are in fee with Kit. No taste! that's impossible, for lie har every tradesinan belonging to the house and laid out a vast deal of money. that you, Mr. Clodpole, are in a fair way to be Duke. There is not an original picture in the banged

[Strikes LoVEL. whole collection—Where could he pick them up? Phi. What do you strike the boy for?

Kit. He employs three or four men to buy for Lov. It is an honest blow.

[Aside. him, and he always pays for originals. Tom. I'll strike him again--'tis such as you Duke. Donnez moi votre eau de luce- -My that bring a scandal upon us all.

head aches confoundedly.-{She gives a smelling Kit, Come, none of your impudence, Tom. bottle.]-Kitty, my dear, I hear you are going to

Tom. Egad, madam, the gentry may well com- be married? plain when they get such servants as you in their kit. Pardonnez moi for that. houses. There's your good friend, mother Bar- Duke. If you get a boy, I'll be a godfather, ter, the old cloaths-woman, the greatest thief in faithtown, just now gone out with her apron full of Kit. How you rattle, Duke !- I am thinking, his honour's linen.

my lord, when I had the honour to see you first. Kit. Well, sir, and did you never-ha? Duke. At the play, mademseille.

Tom. No, never: I have lived with his honour Kit. Your grace loves a play? four years, and never took the value of that

Duke. No; 'tis a dull, old-fashioned, enter(Snapping his fingers.)— His honour i: a prince, tainment; I hate it

you, I know

Kit. Well, give me a good tragedy.

Lady Bab. Then you have an immense pleaDuke. It must not be a modern one, then--sure to come. You are devilish handsome, Kate-Kiss me Kit. Well, then, I'll read it over one afternoon

[Offers to kiss her. or other-Ilere's Lady Charlotte. Enter Sın HARRY's Servant.

Enter Lady CHARLOTTE's Maid in a chair. Sir Har. O ho ! Are you thereabouts, my lord | Dear Lady Charlotte ! duke? That may do very well by-and-by- Lady Char. Oh, Mrs. Kitty, I thought I never However, you'll never find me behind band. should have reached your house-such a fit of

[Offers to kiss her. the cholic seized me -oh, Lady Bab, how long Duke. Stand off! You are a commoner; no has your ladyship been here? My chairmen were thing under nobility approaches Kitty.

such drones- my lord duke the pink of all Sir Har. You are so devilish proud of your good-breeding! nobility-now, I think, we have more true nobi- Duke. O madam!

[Bowing, lity than you— Let me tell you, sir, a knight of Lady Char. And, Sir Harry ! Your servant, Sir the shire


(Formally. Duke. A knight of the shire ! ha, ha, ha! a Sir Har. Madam, your servant; I am sorry to mighty honour, truly, to represent all the fools hear your ladyship has been ill. of the county!

Lady Char. You must give me leave to doubt Kit. O lud! this is charming, to see two no- the sincerity of that sorrow, sir; remember the blemen quarrel !

Park. Sir Har. Why, any fool may be born to a ti- Sir Har. The Park! I'll explain that affair, tle, but only a wise man can make himself ho- madam. nourable.

Lady Char. I want none of your explanations. Kit. Well said, Sir Harry! that is a good mo

[Scornfully. rility.

Sir Har. Dear Lady Charlotte ! Duke. I hope you make some differance be- Lady Char. No, sir; I have observed your tween hereditary honours, and the huzzas of a coolness of late, and despise you. A trumpery mob?

baronet ! Kit. Very smart, my lord; now, Sir Harry, Sir Har. I see how it is; nothing will satisfy

Sir Har. If you make use of your hereditary you but nobility--that sly dog the marquishonours to screen you from debi

Lady Char. None of your reflections, sirDuke. Zounds, sir, what do you mean by The marquis is a person of honour, and above that?

inquiring after a lady's fortune, as you meanly Kit. Hold, hold! I shall have some fine old did. noble bloods pilt here- -Have done, Sir Har- Sir Har. I-1-madam ? I scorn such a thing,

I assure you, madam, I never--that is to say, Sir. Har. Not I; why, he is always valuing Eyad, I am confounded—my lord duke, what himself upon his Upper House.

shall I say to ber? Pray help me out. [Aside. Duke. We have dignity.

Slow. Duke. Ask her to show her legs-ha, ha, ha! Sir Har. But what comes of your dignity,

(Aside. if we refuse the supplies?

(Quick. Kit. Peace, peace! here's Lady Bab

Enter Philip and lovel, loaded with bottles.

Phi. Here, my little peer-here is wine that Enter LADY BAB's Servant in a chair.

will ennoble your blood- -Both your ladyship's Dear Lady Bab

most humble servant. Lady Bab. Mrs. Kitty, your servant; I was Lov. [Affecting to be drunk.]- Both your afraid of taking cold, and so ordered the chair ladyship's most huipble servant. down stairs. Well, and how do you do? My Kit. Why, Philip, you have made the boy Lord Duke, your servant-and Sir Harry, too — drunk. yours.

Phi. I have made him free of the cellar-ha, Duke. Your ladyship's devoted

ha, ha! Lady Bab. I'm afraid I have trespassed in point Lov. Yes, I am freemI am

am very

free. of time-Looks on her watch.) ---But I got into Phi. He has had a smack of every sort of my favourite author.

wine, from humble port, to imperial tokay. Duke. Yes ; I found hier ladyship at her stu- Lov. Yes, I have been drinking kokay. dies this morning-Some wicked poem

Kit. Go, get you some sleep, child, that you Lady Bab. O, you wretch! I never read but may wait on his lordship by-and-by. one book.

Loo. Thank you, madam; I will certainly wait Kit. What is your ladyship so fond of ? on their lordships and their ladyships, too. Lady Bab. Shickspur.' Did you never read

(Aside, and erit. Shickspur !

Phi. Well, ladies, and what say you to a Kit. Shickspur! Shickspur ! Who wrote it? dance, and then to supper? Have you had your No, I never read Shickspur.



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