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dering me comfortable and happy; and this too, notwithstanding have offended against thy holy law, neglected the admonitions of thy Spirit, resisted the warnings of conscience, despised the expostulations of thy ministers, and grieved those parents to whom I am so much indebted. I thank thee, Lord, that thou hast not sent thine eagles to pluck out mine eyes, so as to darken my understanding, and render me callous, eternally so, to every thing of a serious and holy nature. Lerd! I had long abused thy love. My sin has been too long indulged; but my heart aches, and my spirit groans within me, when I consider what a rebel against thee I have been, O blot out as a cloud my transgressions, and as a thick cloud my sins. Pardon my iniquity, for it is great. Work in me godly sorrow for sin, and repentance that need not be repented of; but

Drops of grief can ne'er repay

The debt of love I owe!

I now, Lord, in the presence of angels, and devils, make an unreserved surrender of myself to thee, whose rightful subject I am; take me and keep me, in the hollow of thy hand."

The two subsequent extracts serve to show how much he feared deception in eternal things, and how much he lamented his want of more perfect conformity to his God. " I am afraid my feelings are only the effects of a heated imagination, not the callings of the Holy Spirit; or, that I am called, but not chosen. If Christ had shed abroad his love in my heart, would I be thus languid, and live so far from him? My mind is at times as

lifeless, and as unconcerned, as though I had never loved. It is true, I feel at certain seasons a great desire after Jesus, and know that a change has taken place in my mind, for the world and its pursuits, its vain delights and gaudy toys, that I was once running after with eagerness, have lost their influence; and the peo ple of God, whom I once hated, are become now the object of love and esteem:-them above all things on earth I value, yet such are my frequent wanderings, so little love have, I towards my dear Saviour, so seldom do I approach the throne of grace by prayer, and such coolness do I feel when approaching, that I fear my hope is all a delusion." To this extract are added the words, "mournful believer." He affectingly enumerates the following sources of his distress; and where is the good man who has not found occasion for similar complainings? "My ingratitude for mercies received: my ideas and thoughts so seldom fixed on God and Jesus Christ; and when for a few moments my mind does begin to meditate, the facility with which it is drawn off and set upon improper objects: the coldness of my love towards the Lord Jesus; the extreme barrenness of my mind, with respect to spiritual ideas; when hearing the word of God preached, the small degree of interest I feel in it; the trivialness of an object which will draw off my attention; the wandering and unsettled state of my mind; the incapacity of recollecting, and much less of practising, what, from the sacred desk I hear, through inattentiveness; my extreme neglect in not properly

I

bridling my tongue; my want of humility, of which, in reality, I do not possess the smallest share; my darkness and ignorance in attempting to pray, and even when I do find words, the cold and indifferent manner in which they are uttered; blasphemous lusts and sceptic thoughts; when reading the word of God to which I am often backward; the inattention with which I peruse it, and which pay to its truths; the stupor of mind which reigns, while contemplating the character of the blessed Jesus, his infinite and adorable condescension; not feeling willing to be any thing, and every thing, to serve God's dear people and promote their happiness; the resentment I feel inwardly, when ridiculed for righteousness' sake; the desire to revile again, when reviled, oftentimes, the fear of the creature overcoming the fear of the Creator; the indolent sensations I often find, while engaged in the pursuits of this world, often acting more as an eye servant, than as with an eye single to the glory of God; my want of gravity and sedateness, often laughing, when improper and sinful ideas are brought to view by those not professing to be any thing but servants of the devil; naturally of a warm temper and in every thing, except the service of God, active and laborious."

'The talents of Mr. Pearse soon made him. conspicuous in the church. He possessed an excellent gift in prayer. Variety, fervour, humility, distinguished his addresses at the throne of grace. He delighted in prayer meetings, was a constant attendant, and endeavoured to increase their number. "One Lord's day morning,"

he says, "I was much struck with an idea of my extreme neglect in duty, languor of affection towards Christ as my Redeemer, and the few considerations I have of him as my Guide, Protector, or bounteous Benefactor. Had not time for dinner, but went to society meeting, where I was filled with spiritual food, and where I think I partook of the bread of life. O to be made a daily partaker of that bread of the which if a man eat, he shall never hunger! In the evening, went to hear, and heard my spiritual father. The discourse was from Isaiah lxi. 2. To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord. An anecdote descriptive of the infatuation of sinners, in pursuing the course of iniquity, impressed my mind with considerable force."

In a letter to his parents, dated January 18th, 1813, he says, "I will just mention as I pass along, whilst I have the recollection of it, that yesterday was my birthday, as also the birth-day of our infant society;" alluding to a praying society he had been instrumental in originating." I feel ashamed and confounded under a consideration of the Lord's goodness, long-suffering, and tender mercy towards me, who have been so sinful, ungrateful and perverse." He observes at the close of the letter," It pleased "It that God, whom by my conduct, as well as expressions, I was continually declaring I would not have to reign over me, in the exercise of free, rich, sovereign, and distinguishing grace and mercy, to make me, from an alien of the commonwealth of Israel, a fellow citizen with the saints, and I hope, yes, I believe, of the household

of God. View in me an exemplification and fulfilment of that promise of God to Messiah, "thy people shall be willing in the day of thy power." And the words of Isaiah, "I am found of them, that sought me not,"

His heart was set on the work of the ministry. He longed to renew and augment his literary, information, that his usefulness in the churches of God might be the more distinguished. Several beautiful specimens of attempts at sermonizing, are among his papers. He had often expressed to me his wish to be a missionary, and to join the dear brethren in India, It was the prayer of his heart,

"Let Hindoos speak thy praise aloud, While millions join the adoring crowd.” Among his private writings, I find the following effusion of his - strong desires, "Hasten, O Lord! the diffusion of gospel truth through every land. Command thy heralds to sound deliverance to souls by Satan en slaved. May the world, from the rising of the sun, to the going down of the same, know thee, and Jesus whom thou hast sent. May kingdoms widely extended over the face of this our globe, now sitting in heathenish darkness, behold the glorious luster of the gospel; so that from the eastern coast to the western, the meridian splendours of salvation may chase away the night of sin and ignorance. Let the redemption, freely purchased by Jesus Christ, supplant all other hopes of salvation."

The ways of God are often involved in mystery. This opening flower has fallen to the ground, never to bear fruit in per

fection on earth: In the course of September last, he began to droop. His disease was found to be a nervous fever. His mind through the whole of its progress was sustained by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. He mention. ed to a friend, that his views of spiritual and eternal objects were ' clearer than any he had ever experienced before. He was not merely resigned to his affliction, but thankful for it; declaring that his only remaining desire for life was, that he might preach a precious gospel to perishing sinners. He often repeated the lines→→ When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow.

For I will be with thee thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee, thy deepest dis

tress.

His father was sent for, and witnessed the close of his spiritual journey. In the intervals of that delirium which his disease towards its issue occasioned, he was much in prayer. The last words he was heard distinctly to utter, and which were used a few seconds before his dismission from earth to heaven, were, "into thine arms Lord God Almighty." Thus happy in the Lord our young brother has bidden us farewell. May the providence be greatly sanctified to you, my much loved brethren, the members of this christian church. Let us be thankful when we see thren and sisters end well; and while by death our number is diminished let us offer our prayers that others may rise, and be baptized for the dead, and so fill up the vacancies which removals to heaven may create. Abound in

our bre

watchfulness and prayer, and and wait until the glorified Son of man shall collect us in the triumphant congregation of heaven, where we shall meet, to part no more. Be not afraid of dying. What though we fade as the leaf; like the leaves in nature, the saint

looks more beautiful for his deeay.* The germ of grace is immortal; "As the ilex and the oak, whose substance is in them, when they cast their leaves, so the holy seed shall be the substance thereof." See my dear young friends, you who love the Saviour, see the advantages of early piety. It prepares for an early dissolution, who of you next shall be called away, is known only by God. Imitate your departed brother, in the observance of the operations of his own heart, and find leisure to record them. Let prayer meetings be your delight, and be earnest for the enlargement of the kingdom of Christ. May you, like the young Hebrews in the wilderness be "holiness to the Lord, and the first fruits of his inorcase."o

2 SPIRITUAL DARKNESS.

Letter from the Rev. D. Turner of Abingdon, to the Rev. Mr. Beddome of Bourton.

You may possibly think it strange, my good brother, that I who have so little

personal acquaintance with you, and know so little particularly, of your case, should give you the trouble of so long a letter, as the enclosed-and I confess it a liber

ty I am not sufficiently warranted to take. Nevertheless, I having myself once felt so much from a situation not perhaps much unlike yours, I was, more than I should else have been, affected with the short hints of your case in your last favour with the association Letter, that I could not easily rest the inclination I found in my mind, to say something that might administer to your comfort through the Divine blessing, though I confess I had no thought when I set out of going half this length. If I have been impertinent, I did not design to be so, and the rectitude ness, I trust, will plead my excuse. of my intention, and your goodI am however, wishing to see you. Yours sincerely, Abingdon, Sep. 4, D. TURNER.

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About the close of September, the forest trees in Pennsylvania, and other middle parts of the United States, begin to lose their verdure. The leaves assume new colours, particularly yellow, red, and crimson. Nothing can be more picturesque than an American forest at this season, The branches of the scenery will be described by some future Thomson, or exhibited on canvas by the pencil of an American Salvator Rosa.

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+ Is. vi, 13.

† Jer. ii, 3.

§ The Ode referred to is the 295th Hymn in Dr. Rippon's Selection.

lence, or even christian charity, but from real experience of perhaps the like, or worse condition myself.

Yours, I suppose to be a nervous disorder, attended with spirithal darkness and distress; if so, by attending to my story, and the reflections arising from it, you may possibly find some consolation.

with me.

and the other means of grace, day and night, but he still hid his face from me, now and then a glimpse of hope would break in upon me, but it was of short continuance. The Bible seemed as a sealed book in which I could meet with no comfort, though often much to aggravate my distress and increase my terrors. I endeavoured to examine myself, and search for the evidences of renewing grace in my heart, but all in vain, the more I searched, the more dark and confounded and distressed I grew. I continued to preach indeed to others, but very often with this heart-sinking conclusion, that I myself was a castaway. Sometimes even in the midst of my work, the melancholy darkness would rush in upon my soul so that I was ready to sink down in the pulpit. Though for the most part I was tolerable during the exercise, yet I generally went to the pulpit and returned from it with trembling heart and knees. Many passages in the book of Job, and the Psalms, particularly the Psalm, I felt as I read them, with peculiar sensations. Thus Í continued for more than twelve months, enjoying scarcely two comfortable days together.

88th

About eighteen years ago, I fell into a deep and dreadful op'pression of spirits, the very remembrance of which is ready to make me shudder, even to this day. There was some great disorder of body, but my mind was still more disordered, and felt the weight of all. Every thing of a distressing and terrifying nature, as to my spiritual concerns, especially, seemed to be present I thought myself the most miserable being this side hell. Often wondered to see people afflict themselves about the common calamities of life. They appeared mere trifles, Infirmities that might be easily borne; but mine was a Wounded Spirit, torn with the clearest apprehensions of the malignancy of sin, and the displeasure of an Almighty God. I not only could not see any interest I had in his pardoning mercy, but feared I At length I came to this resowas given up by him to the Ty- lution, (viz.) to give up the point ranny of my corruptions, so that of proving myself a child of I should certainly fall into some God already (which was what I gross and scandalous sin, as a had been labouring at all along) just judgment upon me, and so as a necessary medium of my be left to perish with the most ag- comfort, and grant that I was a gravated guilt, a monument of vile, sinful, and every way unworthe Divine resentment against thy creature, admit the whole false pretenders of religion. I charge brought against me, and often wished to die even though seek my remedy in Christ. For I could but dread the consequence. I argued, there was forgiveness I sought the Lord by prayer with God for the chief of sinners, Vol. VII.

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