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Eva. It is marring, indeed, if he quarter it.
Shal. Not a whit.

Eva. Yes, py'r-lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures but this is all one: If sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you.

Shal. The council shall hear it; it is a riot.

Eva. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.

Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.

Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it : and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with it: There is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity.

Slen. Mistress Anne Page? she has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.

Eva. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death's bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old it were a goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and

remember the first stanza of the bitter ballad, which, repeating to one of his acquaintance, he preserved it in writing; and here it is, neither better nor worse, but faithfully transcribed from the copy which his relation very courteously com municated to me:

"A parliement member, a justice of peace,

"At home a poor scare-crowe, at London an asse,
"If lowsie is Lucy, as some folkemiscalle it,

"Then Lucy is lowsie whatever befall it :
"He thinks himselfe greate,

"Yet an asse in his state,

"We allow by his ears but with asses to mate.

"If Lucy is lowsie, as some volke miscalle it,

"Sing lowsie Lucy, whatever befall it."

Contemptible as this performance must now appear, at the time when it was written it might have had sufficient power to irritate a vain, weak, and vindictive magistrate; especially as it was affixed to several of his park-gates, and consequently published among his neighbours. It may be remarked likewise, that the jingle on which it turns, occurs in the first scene of the Merry Wives of Windsor." I may add, that the veracity of the late Mr. Oldys has never been impeached; and It is not very probable that a ballad should be forged, from which an undiscovered wag could derive no triumph over antiquarian credulity. STEEV.

desire a marriage between master Abraham, and mistress Anne Page.

Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.

Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is Falstaff there?

Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or, as I despise one that is not true. The knight, sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door [knocks] for master Page.-What, hoa! Got pless your

house here!

Page. Who's there?

Enter PAGE.

Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow and here young master Slender; that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.

Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank you for my venison, master Shallow.

Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you; Much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill kill'd:-How doth good mistress Page ?--and I thank you always with my heart, la; with my heart. Page. Sir, I thank you.

Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender. Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say, he was outrun on Cotsale.

Page. It could not be judg'd, sir.

Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess.

Shal. That he will not ;-'tis your fault, 'tis your fault: 'Tis a good dog.

Page. A cur, sir.

Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: Can there be more said? he is good, and fair.-Is sir John Falstaff here? Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.

Era. It is spoke as a Christian ought to speak.

Shal. He hath wrong'd me, master Page.

Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is not that so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me ;-indeed, he hath; at a word, he hath ;-believe me: Robert Shallow, Esquire, saith, he is wrong'd.

Page. Here comes sir John.

Enter Sir JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL. Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king?

Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge."

Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter.

Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answer❜d.

Fal. I will answer it straight ;-I have done all this :That is now answer'd.

Shal. The council shall know this.

Fal. 'Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel; you'll be laugh'd at.

Ev. Pauca verba, sir John, good worts.

Fal. Good worts! good cabbage.-Slender, I broke your head; What matter have you against me?

Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.

Bard. You Banbury cheese!*

Slen. Ay, it is no matter.

Pist. How now, Mephostophilus ?5

Slen. Ay, it is no matter.

Nym. Slice, I say; pauca, pauca; slice! that's

mour.

my hu

Slen. Where's Simple, my man? can you tell, cousin? Eva. Peace, I pray you! Now let us understand There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is, master Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there

[2] This probably alludes to some real incident, at that time well known.

[3] Worts was the ancient name for all the cabbage kind.
[4] This is said in allusion to the thin carcase of Slender.

JOHNSON.

STEEV.
The same thought oc-

Curs in Jack Drum's Entertainment, 1601: "Put off your clothes, and you are like Banbury cheese,-nothing but paring." STEEVENS.

[5] This is the name of a spirit, or familiar, in the old story book of Sir John Faus us, or John Faust: to whom our author alludes, Act II. sc. 2. T. WARTON

is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them. Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my notebook; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.

Fal. Pistol

Pist. He hears with ears.

Eva. The tevil and his tam! What phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations.

Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse ?

Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovelboards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

Fal. Is this true, Pistol?

Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!-Sir John, and master mine,

I combat challenge of this latten bilboe :"
Word of denial in thy labras here ;7
Word of denial: froth and scum, thou ly'st.

Slen. By these gloves, then, 'twas he.

Nym. Be advised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say, marry trap, with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me; that is the very note of it.

Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.

Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ?9

Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences.

Eva. It is his five senses: fye, what the ignorance is! Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires.

[6] Pistol, seeing Slender such a slim, puny wight, would intimate, that he is as thin as a plate of that compound metal, which is called latten: and which was, as we are told, the old orichalc. THEOBALD.

Latten may signify no more than as thin as a lath.

STEEVENS.

[7] I suppose it should rather be read- Word of denial in my labras hear;'-i. e hear the word of denial in my lips. Thou ly'st. JOHNSON.

[8] When a man was caught in his own stratagem, I suppose the exclamation of insult was-marry, trap! JOHNSON.

[9] The names of two of Robin Hood's companions; but the humour consists in the allusion to Bardolph's red face; concerning which see The Second Part of King Henry IV. WARBURTON.

Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.

Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind.

Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen ; you hear it.

Enter Mistress ANNE PAGE, with wine; Mistress FORD and Mistress PAGE following.

Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit ANNE PAGE. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford?

Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met by your leave, good mistress. [Kissing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome :-Čome, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.

of

[Exeunt all but SHAL. SLEND. and EVANS. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my book and sonnets here:songs

Enter SIMPLE.

How now, Simple! Where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, have you?

Sim. Book of Riddles ! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake, upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ?

A

Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. word with you, coz: marry, this, coz; There is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by sir Hugh here ;-Do you understand me?

Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason.

Shal. Nay, but understand me.

Slen. So I do, sir.

Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender : I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country simple though I stand here.

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