spot, much disappointed on discovering the mistake,—-no fractures, except wooden ones. Ate a hearty breakfast while the coach was repairing, and laughed at the recollection of the Cockney lady's raspberry brains.-MEM. TO recommend this to Kemble as a good stage-trick when he plays Macbeth, or any other murderer. Obliged to drive unicorn from this one stage, a horse being lame; came in contact with a drove of cattle, nearly run over a sheep; drover very abusive, coachee very fightable; after ten minutes of wordy war, all ended in smoke; coachee a bang-up fellow, drover a dung. Dissertation on the heinous sin of boxing by the Rev. Peter Pious; Brummagem (with a wink) thought it better than backbiting, and I defended it as national, and exciting true courage; the ladies (with the exception of the Cockney female) gave it against us; dropt the subject-MEм. A methodist parson and two old women a match for the devil. Level roads, all right to Henley, except an occasional solo from the nasal organ of Brummagem, loud enough to split the roof, and heartrending sighs and moans from the old maid for the departed Pompey. Stole a kiss at parting of the pretty servant girl at the inn who was waiting, and observed her master had been watching me through the window; saluted him on gaining the door with "Good sporting country this?" "Yes, sir, pretty well, if it wasn't for

poachers." Good hit that for a bumpkin; wouldn't take it

to myself though. Found all the village assembled round the coach, to stare at the classical gentleman with the iron embellishments; remonstrated with coachee for carryingconvicts, and was told that a stage-coach was "open to all parties, and influenced by none." Started again, offwheeler a miller, sixteen pulls up in a quarter of a mile, to tighten kicking straps, and alter the bearing reins; contrived to move on pretty briskly within five miles of Oxford, when going down hill, the traces loose, no breechings, the miller made a desperate plunge, got over the splinter-bar, and struck away against the coach with her hind legs like two sledge hammers; broke the pannels into shivers before it could be extricated. Found myself under old Brummagem, the fat landlady, and two or three more, in the mud by the road side, having tumbled out of the coachdoor in our hurry to escape being kicked to death. Coach a complete wreck; rain falling in torrents; clay roads, ankle deep; no resource but tramping to Oxford; took Mrs. Squelch under my protection, left Brummagem to waddle along with the fat landlady, the rear being brought up by Peter Pious and the old maid, with all the outsides, like so many moving mud obelisks. Entered Oxford in this state, well drenched with rain, and got gloriously quizzed by the gownsmen, who assembled in groups to amuse themselves with the lions. The old maid was soon claimed by her brother, a master of arts, just such another

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curiosity as herself. Our coach not known at the Angel, therefore wouldn't take us in; had the felicity of walking through the city to the Star, in Farfax, before we could get shelter, exposed all the way to the jeering side-winded jokes of the Oxonians, and the impertinent curiosity of the town raff. Shown into a dirty, cold room, with not more than three ounces of coals in the grate, and not above one out of the three lighted; rung for bellows, and soon contrived to fill the room with smoke. Took a survey of the dinner table; all the hot dishes eaten up by the lawyers, it being the assizes, and the coach a full hour beyond time; a collection of stale scrags and cut down joints, decorated with slices of cold carrots and fresh parsley, and a sprinkle of pickles. Just obtained a warm mutton chop and some water and brandy, when coachee made his appearance with-" Time's up, gemmen; hope you'll remember the coachman; I leave you here." Thank God, thought I, for we've had nothing but ill luck with you. Only a shilling for fifty-eight mile! a few such customers as you and my horses would want whipcord." Compelled to proceed before I've half finished, or be left behind. Reinstated in coach, took care to occupy the situation vacated by the spinster lady; my old birth filled up by a serjeant's wife and a squalling infant; windows all closed up, to keep out the rain, and keep in whatever else may happen. Country very gloomy, and trees leafless; ground

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covered with rotten snow. Mrs. Squelch did me the honour to inquire how the poor dear wood nymphs and satyrs, of whom she had read in Pope and other poets, contrived to live in winter. Brummagem broke into a horse laugh, and I humoured the joke by informing her that they caught them in nets, and sent them to shelter in a straw-yard. The fat landlady chuckled with delight, the serjeant's wife stared with astonishment, Peter Pious turned up the whites of his eyes at the heinous romance, and Mrs. Squelch, the unsuspecting Cockney, believed every word. Horses off at full gallop, to make up for lost time; coachman evidently well primed with Hodges's patent anti-attrition; two to one against another break down or an upset; escaped both; nil desperandum. Arrived in Birmingham just two hours after the usual time; met the funeral of my departed friend Testy coming down the Bull-ring as we were proceeding upwards; jumped out in a hurry, when the coach stopped, and sprained my ankle. Unable to reach the churchyard, but contrived to meet the mourners on their return, when I had the felicity of hearing the deceased had died intestate, and the crown would, in consequence, take his whole property, amounting to thirty thousand pounds. Returned to the inn seriously affected; ordered a rump-steak and oyster-sauce for supper; changed Sable's wet suit of black for a dry suit of true blue; drank two bottles of the best black strap, D 2

smoked six segars, bid adieu to care, and resolved never to anticipate a legacy, or travel in a stage-coach on a funeral expedition again as long as I live.

MEM. On reading this carefully over since it was in print, find I have omitted one hundred and one minor miseries which occurred on the same journey.