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XIII.-THAT YOU MUST LOVE ME AND LOVE

MY DOG.

visitants ; droppers in, as they are called. the moment you have just sat down to a We sometimes wonder from what sky they book. They have a peculiar compassionate fall. It is the very error of the position of sneer, with which they “ hope that they do our lodging ; its horoscopy was ill calcu- not interrupt your studies.” Though they lated, being just situate in a medium-a flutter off the next moment, to carry their plaguy suburban mid-space-fitted to catch impertinences to the nearest student that idlers from town or country. We are older they can call their friend, the tone of the than we were, and age is easily put out of book is spoiled ; we shut the leaves, and its way. We have fewer sands in our glass with Dante's lovers, read no more that day. to reckon upon, and we cannot brook to see It were well if the effect of intrusion were them drop in endlessly succeeding imperti- simply co-extensive with its presence, but it nences. At our time of life, to be alone mars all the good hours afterwards. These sometimes is as needful as sleep. It is the scratches in appearance leave an orifice that refreshing sleep of the day. The growing closes not hastily. “It is a prostitution of infirmities of age manifest themselves in no the bravery of friendship,” says worthy thing more strongly, than in an inveterate Bishop Taylor, “ to spend it upon impertinent dislike of interruption. The thing which we people, who are, it may be, loads to their are doing, we wish to be permitted to do. families, but can never ease my loads.” This We have neither much knowledge nor de- is the secret of their gaddings, their visits, vices; but there are fewer in the place to and morning calls. They too have homes, which we hasten. We are not willingly put which are—no homes. out of our way, even at a game of nine-pins. While youth was, we had vast reversions in time future ; we are reduced to a present pittance, and obliged to economise in that article. We bleed away our moments now “ Good sir, or madam-as it may be-we as hardly as our ducats. We cannot bear | most willingly embrace the offer of your to have our thin wardrobe eaten and fretted friendship. We have long known your exinto by moths. We are willing to barter our cellent qualities. We have wished to have good time with a friend, who gives us in you nearer to us ; to hold you within the exchange his own. Herein is the distinction very innermost fold of our heart. We can between the genuine guest and the visitant. have no reserve towards a person of your This latter takes your good time, and gives open and noble nature. The frankness of you his bad in exchange. The guest is do- your humour suits us exactly. We have mestic to you as your good cat, or household been long looking for such a friend. Quick bird ; the visitant is your fly, that flaps in at let us disburthen our troubles into each your window, and out again, leaving no-other's bosom-let us make our single joys thing but a sense of disturbance, and victuals shine by reduplication—But yap, yap, yap! spoiled. The inferior functions of life begin what is this confounded cur ? he has to move heavily. We cannot concoct our fastened his tooth, which is none of the food with interruptions. Our chief meal, to bluntest, just in the fleshy part of my leg." be nutritive, must be solitary. With diti- “ It is my dog, sir. You must love him culty we can eat before a guest ; and never for my sake. Here, Test—Test—Test !” understood what the relish of public feasting

“ But he has bitten me." meant. Meats have no sapor, nor digestion Ay, that he is apt to do, till you are fair play, in a crowd. The unexpected better acquainted with him. I have had coming in of a visitant stops the machine. him three years. He never bites me.” There is a punctual generation who time Yap, yap, yap !“He is at it again." their calls to the precise commencement of Oh, sir, you must not kick him. He does your dining-hour-not to eat—but to see not like to be kicked. I expect my dog you eat.

Our knife and fork drop in- | to be treated with all the respect due to stinctively, and we feel that we have swal- myself.” lowed our latest morsel. Others again show “But do you always take him out with their genius, as we have said, in knocking you, when you go a friendship-hunting ?”

“ Invariably. 'Tis the sweetest, prettiest, uncorresponding dwarfishness of observation. best-conditioned animal. I call him my test Misfortunes seldom come alone. 'Tis hard -the touchstone by which to try a friend. when a blessing comes accompanied. Cannot No one can properly be said to love me, who we like Sempronia, without sitting down to does not love him."

chess with her eternal brother; or know “ Excuse us, dear sir–or madam, afore- Sulpicia, without knowing all the round of said—if upon further consideration we are her card-playing relations ? — must my obliged to decline the otherwise invaluable friend's brethren of necessity be mine also ? offer of your friendship. We do not like must we be hand and glove with Dick Selby dogs.”

the parson, or Jack Selby the calico-printer, “ Mighty well, sir,--you know the con- because W. S., who is neither, but a ripe ditions-you may have worse offers. Come wit and a critic, has the misfortune to claim along, Test."

a common parentage with them? Let him The above dialogue is not so imaginary, lay down his brothers ; and 'tis odds but we but that, in the intercourse of life, we have will cast him in a pair of ours (we have a had frequent occasions of breaking off an superflux) to balance the concession. Let agreeable intimacy by reason of these canine F. H. lay down his garrulous uncle; and appendages. They do not always come in Honorius dismiss his vapid wife, and superthe shape of dogs ; they sometimes wear the fluous establishment of six boys: things bemore plausible and human character of kins-tween boy and manhood—too ripe for play, folk, near acquaintances, my friend's friend, too raw for conversation—that come in, imhis partner, his wife, or his children. We pudently staring their father's old friend could never yet form a friendship-not to out of countenance ; and will neither aid speak of more delicate correspondence-how- nor let alone, the conference; that we may ever much to our taste, without the inter- once more meet upon equal terms, as we vention of some third anomaly, some imper- were wont to do in the disengaged state of tinent clog affixed to the relation - the bachelorhood. understood dog in the proverb. The good It is well if your friend, or mistress, be things of life are not to be had singly, but content with these canicular probations. come to us with a mixture ; like a school- Few young ladies but in this sense keep a boy's holiday, with a task affixed to the tail dog. But when Rutilia hounds at you her of it. What a delightful companion is tiger aunt; or Ruspina expects you to if he did not always bring his tall cousin cherish and fondle her viper sister, whom with him! He seems to grow with him ; she has preposterously taken into her bosom, like some of those double births which we to try stinging conclusions upon your conremember to have read of with such wonder stancy ; they must not complain if the house and delight in the old " Athenian Oracle,” | be rather thin of suitors. Scylla must have where Swift commenced author by writing broken off many excellent matches in her Pindaric Odes (what a beginning for him!) time, if she insisted upon all, that loved her, upon Sir William Temple. There is the loving her dogs also. picture of the brother, with the little brother An excellent story to this moral is told of peeping out at his shoulder; a species of Merry, of Della Cruscan memory. In tender fraternity, which we have no name of kin youth he loved and courted a modest apclose enough to comprehend. When panage to the Opera-in truth a dancer, comes, poking in his head and shoulder into who had won him by the artless contrast your room, as if to feel his entry, you think, between her manners and situation. She surely you have now got him to yourself— seemed to him a native violet, that had been what a three hours' chat we shall have !- transplanted by some rude accident into but ever in the haunch of him, and before that exotic and artificial hotbed. Nor, in his diffident body is well disclosed in your truth, was she less genuine and sincere than apartment, appears the haunting shadow of she appeared to him. He wooed and won the cousin, overpeering his modest kinsman, this flower. Only for appearance' sake, and and sure to overlay the expected good talk for due honour to the bride's relations, she with his insufferable procerity of stature, and craved that she might have the attendance

Women.

of her friends and kindred at the approaching for a mere human gentleman-that has no solemnity. The request was too amiable orchestra business to call him from his warm not to be conceded : and in this solicitude bed to such preposterous exercises-we take for conciliating the good-will of mere rela- ten, or half after ten (eleven, of course, tions, he found a presage of her superior during this Christmas solstice), to be the attentions to himself, when the golden shaft very earliest hour at which he can begin to should have “killed the flock of all affections think of abandoning his pillow. To think of else.” The morning came : and at the Star it, we say; for to do it in earnest requires and Garter, Richmond—the place appointed another half hour's good consideration. Not for the breakfasting—accompanied with one but there are pretty sun-risings, as we are English friend, he impatiently awaited what told, and such like gawds, abroad in the reinforcements the bride should bring to world, in summer-time especially, some grace the ceremony. A rich muster she had hours before what we have assigned ; which made. They came in six coaches—the whole a gentleman may see, as they say, only for corps du ballet-French, Italian, men and getting up. But having been tempted once

Monsieur de B., the famous or twice, in earlier life, to assist at those pirouetter of the day, led his fair spouse, but ceremonies, we confess our curiosity abated. craggy, from the banks of the Seine. The We are no longer ambitious of being the Prima Donna had sent her excuse. But the sun's courtiers, to attend at his morning first and second Buffa were there; and levees. We hold the good hours of the dawn Signor Sc—, and Signora Ch—, and Madame too sacred to waste them upon such obserV-, with a countless cavalcade besides of vances; which have in them, besides, somechorusers, figurantes ! at the sight of whom thing Pagan and Persic. To say truth, we Merry afterwards declared, that “then for never anticipated our usual hour, or got up the first time it struck him seriously, that he with the sun (as 'tis called), to go a journey, was about to marry-a dancer.” But there or upon a foolish whole day's pleasuring, but was no help for it. Besides, it was her day; we suffered for it all the long hours after these were, in fact, her friends and kinsfolk. in listlessness and headaches; Nature herThe assemblage, though whimsical, was all self sufficiently declaring her sense of our very natural. But when the bride-handing presumption in aspiring to regulate our frail out of the last coach a still more extraordi- waking courses by the measures of that nary figure than the rest-presented to him as celestial and sleepless traveller. We deny her father—the gentleman that was to give not that there is something sprightly and her away-no less a person than Signor vigorous, at the outset especially, in these Delpini himself-with a sort of pride, as break-of-day excursions. It is flattering to much as to say, See what I have brought to get the start of a lazy world ; to conquer do us honour !—the thought of so extraor- death by proxy in his image. But the seeds dinary a paternity quite overcame him; and of sleep and mortality are in us; and we pay slipping away under some pretence from the usually, in strange qualms before night falls, bride and her motley adherents, poor Merry the penalty of the unnatural inversion. took horse from the back yard to the nearest Therefore, while the busy part of mankind sea-coast, from which, shipping himself to are fast huddling on their clothes, are already America, he shortly after consoled himself up and about their occupations, content to with a more congenial match in the person have swallowed their sleep by wholesale ; of Miss Brunton ; relieved from his intended we choose to linger a-bed, and digest our clown father, and a bevy of painted buffas dreams. It is the very time to recombine for bridemaids.

the wandering images, which night in a confused mass presented; to snatch them

from forgetfulness; to shape, and mould XIV.—THAT WE SHOULD RISE WITH THE LARK.

them. Some people have no good of their At what precise minute that little airy dreams. Like fast feeders, they gulp them musician doffs his night gear, and prepares too grossly, to taste them curiously. We love to tune up his unseasonable matins, we are to chew the cud of a foregone vision : to not naturalists enough to determine. But collect the scattered rays of a brighter

or

or

phantasm, or act over again, with firmer We feel attenuated into their meagre nerves, the sadder nocturnal tragedies ; to essences, and have given the hand of halfdrag into day-light a struggling and half-way approach to incorporeal being. We vanishing night-mare; to handle and examine once thought life to be something ; but it the terrors, or the airy solaces. We have has unaccountably fallen from us before its too much respect for these spiritual com- time. Therefore we choose to dally with munications, to let them go so lightly. We visions. The sun has no purposes of ours to are not so stupid, or so careless as that light us to. Why should we get up? Imperial forgetter of his dreams, that we should need a seer to remind us of the form of them. They seem to us to have as much XV.—THAT WE SHOULD LIE DOWN WITH THE

LAMB. significance as our waking concerns : rather to import us more nearly, as more We could never quite understand the nearly we approach by years to the shadowy philosophy of this arrangement, or the world, whither we are hastening. We have wisdom of our ancestors in sending us for shaken hands with the world's business ; instruction to these woolly bedfellows. A we have done with it; we have discharged sheep, when it is dark, has nothing to do but ourself of it. Why should we get up? we to shut his silly eyes, and sleep if he can. have neither suit to solicit, nor affairs to Man found out long sixes, -Hail, candlemanage. The drama has shut in upon us at light ! without disparagement to sun the fourth act. We have nothing here to moon, the kindliest luminary of the three | expect, but in a short time a sick bed, and if we may not rather style thee their radiant a dismissal. We delight to anticipate death deputy, mild viceroy of the moon !-We love by such shadows as night affords. We are to read, talk, sit silent, eat, drink, sleep, by already half acquainted with ghosts. We candle-light. They are everybody's sun and were never much in the world. Disappoint- moon. This is our peculiar and household ment early struck a dark veil between us planet. Wanting it, what savage unsocial and its dazzling illusions. Our spirits showed nights must ancestors have spent, grey before our hairs. The mighty changes wintering in caves and unillumined fastof the world already appear as but the vain nesses! They must have lain about and stuff out of which dramas are composed. grumbled at one another in the dark. What We have asked no more of life than what repartees could have passed, when you must the mimic images in play-houses present us have felt about for a smile, and handled a with. Even those types have waxed fainter. neighbour's cheek to be sure that he underOur clock appears to have struck. We are stood it? This accounts for the seriousness SUPERANNUATED. In this dearth of mundane of the elder poetry. It has a sombre cast satisfaction, we contract politic alliances (try Hesiod or Ossian), derived from the with shadows. It is good to have friends at tradition of those unlantern'd nights. Jokes court. The abstracted media of dreams came in with candles. We wonder how they seem no ill introduction to that spiritual saw to pick up a pin, if they had any. How presence, upon which, in no long time, we did they sup? what a melange of chance expect to be thrown. We are trying to carving they must have made of it !-here know a little of the usages of that colony; one had got a leg of a goat, when he wanted to learn the language, and the faces we shall a horse's shoulder—there another had dipped meet with there, that we may be the less his scooped palm in a kid-skin of wild honey, awkward at our first coming among them. when he meditated right mare's milk. There We willingly call a phantom our fellow, as is neither good eating nor drinking in fresco. knowing we shall soon be of their dark com- Who, even in these civilised times, has never panionship. Therefore, we cherish dreams. experienced this, when at some economic We try to spell in them the alphabet of the table he has commenced dining after dusk, invisible world ; and think we know already, and waited for the flavour till the lights how it shall be with us. Those uncouth came? The senses absolutely give and take shapes, which, while we clung to flesh and reciprocally. Can you tell pork from veal blood, affrighted us, have become familiar. in the dark ? or distinguish Sherris from

our

pure Malaga ? Take away the candle from of the man himself is so much to be deplored the smoking man ; by the glimmering of the may admit of a question. We can speak a left ashes, he knows that he is still smoking, little to it, being ourselves but lately but he knows it only by an inference ; till recovered—we whisperit in confidence, the restored light, coming in aid of the reader,-out of a long and desperate fit of the olfactories, reveals to both senses the full sullens. Was the cure a blessing? The aroma. Then how he redoubles his puffs ! how conviction which wrought it, came too he burnishes !—there is absolutely no such clearly to leave a scruple of the fanciful thing as reading but by a candle. We have injuries—for they were mere fancies—which tried the affectation of a book at noon-day had provoked the humour. But the humour in gardens, and in sultry arbours; but it was itself was too self-pleasing, while it lastedlabour thrown away. Those gay motes in we know how bare we lay ourself in the the beam come about you, hovering and confession—to be abandoned all at once with teasing, like so many coquettes, that will the grounds of it. We still brood over have you all to their self, and are jealous of wrongs which we know to have been your abstractions. By the midnight taper, imaginary; and for our old acquaintance the writer digests his meditations. By the N-, whom we find to have been a truer same light we must approach to their perusal, friend than we took him for, we substitute if we would catch the flame, the odour. It some phantom-a Caius or a Titius—as like is a mockery, all that is reported of the him as we dare to form it, to wreak our yet influential Phobus. No true poem ever unsatisfied resentments on. It is mortifying owed its birth to the sun's light. They are to fall at once from the pinnacle of neglect ; abstracted works

to forego the idea of having been ill-used Things that were born, when none but the still night, The first thing to aggrandise a man in his

and contumaciously treated by an old friend. And his dumb candle, saw his pinching throes.

own conceit, is to conceive of himself as Marry, daylight-daylight might furnish the neglected. There let him fix if he can. To images, the crude material ; but for the fine undeceive him is to deprive him of the most shapings, the true turning and filing (as tickling morsel within the range of selfmine author hath it), they must be content complacency. No flattery can come near it. to hold their inspiration of the candle. The Happy is he who suspects his friend of an mild internal light, that reveals them, like injustice ; but supremely blest, who thinks fires on the domestic hearth, goes out in the all his friends in a conspiracy to depress and sun-shine. Night and silence call out the undervalue him. There is a pleasure (we starry fancies. Milton's Morning Hymn in sing not to the profane) far beyond the Paradise, we would hold a good wager, was reach of all that the world calls joy-a deep, penned at midnight; and Taylor's rich enduring satisfaction in the depths, where description of a sun-rise smells decidedly the superficial seek it not, of discontent. of the taper.

Even ourself, in these Were we to recite one half of this mystery, our humbler lucubrations, tune our best- -which we were let into by our late dismeasured cadences (Prose has her cadences) satisfaction, all the world would be in love not unfrequently to the charm of the drowsier with disrespect; we should wear a slight for watchman, “ blessing the doors ; or the a bracelet, and neglects and contumacies wild sweep of winds at midnight. Even now would be the only matter for courtship. a loftier speculation than we have yet Unlike to that mysterious book in the attempted, courts our endeavours. We Apocalypse, the study of this mystery is would indite something about the Solar unpalatable only in the commencement. System.--Betty, bring the candles.

The first sting of a suspicion is grievous ; but wait-out of that wound, which to flesh

and blood seemed so difficult, there is balm XVI.—THAT A SULKY TEMPER IS A MISFORTUNE.

and honey to be extracted. Your friend We grant that it is, and a very serious passed you on such or such a day,—having one-to a man's friends, and to all that have in his company one that you conceived to do with him ; but whether the condition worse than ambiguously disposed towards

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