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PIUS ÆNEAS.

'Virgil, whose magic verse enthralls,——
And who in verse is greater?

By turns his wand'ring hero calls,
Now pius, and now pater.

But when prepared the worse to brave,
An action that must pain us,
Queen Dido meets him in the cave,
He dubs him DUX TROJANUS.
And well he changes thus the word
On that occasion, sure-
PIUS ENEAS were absurd,

And PATER premature. "

CLEVER PUN.

An actor, named Priest, was playing at one of the principal theatres. Some one remarked, at the Garrick Club, that there were a great many men in the pit. Probably clerks, who have taken Priest's orders," said Mr. Poole, one of the best punsters, as well as one of the cleverest comic satirists of the day.

WIT AND LEARNING.

Wit is often found united with great learning; three of the most learned men that have ever lived, have been three of the wittiest-Cervantes, Rabelais, Butler.

HUMOUR AND GENIUS.

Men of humour are, in some degree, men of genius: wits are rarely so, although a man of genius may, amongst other gifts, possess wit-as Shakspeare. Coleridge.

PRISON RETIREMENT.

Since the benevolent Howard attacked our prisons, incarceration has become not only healthy, but elegant; and a county jail is precisely the place to which any pauper might wish to retire, to gratify his taste for magnificence as well as for comfort. Upon the same principle, there is some risk that transportation will be considered as one of the surest roads to honour and wealth; and that no felon will hear a verdict of "not guilty," without considering himself as cut off in the fairest career of prosperity.-Sydney Smith.

TREASON.

Horne Tooke, on being asked by a foreigner of distinction, how much treason an Englishman might venture to write, without being hanged, replied, that "he could not inform him just yet, but that he was trying."

BOOK MADNESS.

A collector of scarce books, was one day showing me his small but curious hoard. "Have you ever seen a copy of this book?" he asked, with every volume that he put into my hands; and when my reply was, that I had not, he always rejoined, with a look and tone of triumphant delight, "I should have been exceedingly sorry if you had!"-The Doctor.

ENGLISH FRENCH.

The author of Eothen, after relating his conversa

tion with a Frenchman at Cairo, says: "These answers of mine, as given above, are not meant for specimens of mere French, but of that fine, terse, nervous, Continental English, with which I and my compatriots make our way through Europe. This language, by-the-bye, is one possessing great force and energy, and is not without its literature-a literature of the very highest order. Where will you find more sturdy specimens of downright honest and noble English, than in the Duke of Wellington's 'French' dispatches?"

PARASITES.

Nature descends down to infinite smallness. A great man has his parasites; and if you take a large buzzing blue-bottle fly, and look at it in a microscope, you may see twenty or thirty little ugly insects crawling about it, which, doubtless, think their fly to be the bluest, grandest, merriest, most important animal in the universe; and are convinced the world would be at an end if it ceased to buzz.-Sydney Smith.

CHARLES LAMB.

Lamb never affected any spurious gravity. Neither did he ever act the Grand Senior. He did not exact that common copy-book respect, which some asinine persons would fain command, on account of the mere length of their years; as if, forsooth, what is bad in itself, could be the better for keeping; as if

intellects already mothery, got any thing but grandmothery by lapse of time!-Hood.

VARIETIES OF THE HUMAN RACE.

Lady Mary Wortley Montague said, that during all her travels she had never met with but three kinds of persons, Men, Women, and Herveys. These were the earls of Bristol, a family noted for their eccentricity.

JOHN KEMBLE.

I always had a great liking, I may say, a sort of nondescript reverence, for John Kemble. What a quaint creature he was! I remember a party, in which he was discussing, in his measured manner after dinner, when the steward announced his carriage. He nodded, and went on. The announcement took place twice afterward; Kemble each time nodding his head a little more impatiently, but still going on. At last, and for the fourth time, the steward entered and said, "Mrs. Kemble says, sir, she has the rheumatise and cannot stay." "Add ism !" dropped John, in a parenthesis, and proceeded quietly in his ha

rangue.

Kemble would correct any body at any time, and in any place. Dear Charles Matthews-a true genius in his line, in my judgment-told me that he was once performing privately before the king. The king was very much pleased with the imitation of

Kemble, and said, "I liked Kemble very much. He was one of my earliest friends. I remember once he was talking, and found himself out of snuff. I offered him my box. He declined taking any-‘He, a poor actor, could not put his fingers into a royal box.' I said, 'take some, pray; you will obleege me!' Upon which Kemble replied, 'It would become your royal mouth better to say, oblige me;' and took a pinch.”—Coleridge's Table-Talk.

INFLUENCE OF WOMEN.

Man is but a rough pebble, without the attrition received from contact with the gentler sex: it is wonderful how the ladies pumice a man down into a smoothness which occasions him to roll over and over with the rest of his species, jostling but not wounding his neighbours, as the waves of circumstances bring him into collision with them.-Capt. Marryat.

FRENCHMEN.

Coleridge says of the French, that they are like grains of gunpowder, each by itself smutty and contemptible; but mass them together, and they are terrible indeed.

SIR JAMES MACKINTOSH.

The first points of character which every body noticed in Mackintosh, were the total absence of envy, hatred, malice, and uncharitableness. He could not hate, he did not know how to set about it. The gall-bladder was omitted in his composition, and if