THE THOMPSON PAPERS. No. XIII. Hall, Sussex, 13th June, 1825. POSITIVELY, my dear Thompson, I could not endure the drudgery of the House of Commons any longer, though I am willing to allow you and your fellow clerks of the nation full credit for the perseverance with which you carry on the publick business. Among the various requisites for an M. P. surely a good constitution and the power of defying sleep altogether, like the Speaker, or of only waking now and then for a division, like our Somersetshire friend, may be deemed the most indispensable. In watching over the national constitution, I have half-ruined my own. Saint Stephen has had his revenge, for his quondam chapel has made more martyrs than the persecutors under whom he suffered. Besides, as I believe you will readily confess, I got out of humour as well as out of health, irritated with the fate of the Catholic relief bill, the success of which I considered so vitally essential to the peace and consolidation of the empire. Now, however, that I have had time for a little calm consideration, I am disposed to look back upon the events of the present Session with great complacency, as likely to produce infinite good, although they fell short of that consummation so devoutly to be wished. In all my parliamentary experience I never remember so noble an expurgation of inveterate prejudices, so much honest and manly conversion from old errors, so frank and disinterested a homage to the omnipotence of Truth. It is not only of incalculable advantage that the bill should have passed the Commons; but all the details connected with its progress have been so eminently productive of union, reconciliation, and brotherhood, that the natural exasperation of its failure will be neutralized by the universal benevolence elicited in its partial success. For the first time in our recollections, England and Ireland were both in a state of profound tranquillity, party spirit was nearly extinct, we possessed a semi-liberal ministry, who had deservedly become so popular that they were receiving daily eulogiums even from the radicals; there was no subject of difference but this one, and, as if desirous of giving us an antepast of that universal fellowship of love which its removal would generate, the individuals of all persuasions recommending that measure, evinced an undeviating suavity of manner and an amalgamation of kindly feeling that was never before witnessed in any political discussion. All private resentments were deposited upon the altar of patriotism; prejudice yielded to conviction, and the Session must ever be considered a glorious one for the country if it were only for the noble and enlightened conduct of Mr. Brownlow, and the death-blow that he has given to the furious and detestable Orange faction. One circumstance remarkably developed in the whole proceeding, and which indeed forms the peculiar characteristic of the present age, is the advancement of the commonalty in tolerance and liberality, or, in other words, in knowledge, while a large proportion of the upper ranks remain in a stationary if not a retrogressive state; a fact which, if it be true that knowledge is power, most materially alters the relative 6 importance of the two classes, and strikingly illustrates the necessity of a new adjustment of the political machine. Thus the commons, growing wiser with the age, pass bills, and the Lords throw them out with greater majorities than could be reasonably anticipated; the ignorance is on the side of age and title, and so exactly does this hold true, that the pyramid of blind bigotry is crowned with the most illustrious dignitaries, even beyond the Woolsack, and up to him whose angry and stubborn denunciations have made all his friends sincerely wish, so help them God!' that he would pay his tailor's bill and hold his tongue. The upper ranks formerly merited that designation, for they were superior in knowledge, as well as in every other description of power; but this is no longer the case, the under ranks have passed them in the race of knowledge-they have not been idle and stationary, as if they thought the world stood still;-and though, from the mere force of habit, the upper ranks may continue to talk of their inferiors, it might be rather puzzling to some of them to point out where they could be found. And now, my dear Thompson, what excuse can I make for inflicting upon you these ex cathedra politics, knowing that you relish them but little? I must declare the truth, as folks say when they are terribly at a loss for decent plea, and assure you that when I took up my pen I merely meant to invite you to Hall as soon as the Session is over; and that like a genuine M. P. I could not arrive at this conclusion without adverting to those most important proceedings quorum pars minima fui. Promise me to come, and I shall look at his Majesty's most gracious speech with even more pleasure than usual. Yours faithfully, No. XIV. Hall, Yorkshire, DEAR THOMPSON, The Rev. Mr. Fetlock and myself have committed to the House of Correction, under the game-laws act, on suspicion of poaching, a labourer of yours, John Sparrow, upon the information of the parson's hind. Fetlock says he has no wish to be severe on the fellow, but only to give him three months at the tread-mill as a gentle warning. I advise you, therefore, sub rosa, to get the affair managed at the Sessions by appealing against the conviction. The evidence will not do him much mischief, as I have strong reason for believing (out of my magisterial capacity this hint) that the poor devil had only been making love in the parson's copse, as he was never before suspected of poaching, and an old sweetheart of his was seen on the road hard by when he was accused of the act. My Rev. brother of the quorum would listen to no suggestion of the kind, and we must not differ about trivial affairs. You know his overbearing way. I am, dear Thompson, Very sincerely yours, &c. P. S. Sir Harry desires me to say he has lost the wager about the claret, and is fully prepared to arrange it, when you come down, over some prime Heidelberg he has just received at the park. MY DEAR UNCLE, No. XV. Brighton, 15th June, 1825. Unless you had the most dutiful and exemplary of nieces, you would hardly expect to be recreated with an epistle, after your refusal to come down to us in the Easter Holidays, or to pledge yourself to a visit in the autumn. Indeed, I should not have dismissed my choler against you with a va! via! but for two reasons: first, that I am the most placable of mortals, and last, but by no means least, that I have a favour to beg of you. Here we are again at Brighton, but why we should have quitted London in the very ecstasy and crisis of the season, I am sure you will never be able to guess. You know, when the worthy Peer says "I make it a principle to do so and so," there is no other appeal than to shrug up the shoulders, and ejaculate (inaudibly will be safest) bien des personnes se font des principes à leur fantaisie. This was my sole resource when he exclaimed, on receiving a letter of solicitation from one of the performers--" I make it a principle to go out of town at the benefit time;" and as he is tolerably executive in converting his wishes into acts-hey, presto, pass! nous voilà à Brighton. Fond as he is of theatrical amusements, he cannot tolerate this mode of remunerating the performers, which he considers degrading to those who receive, and painful to those who bestow. Taking tickets and remaining at home, has too much the air of alms-giving; and as to going-c'est hors de la question, too much for friendship, by at least two hours of time, and a whole infinitude of vulgarity. Nor will he admit that the performers should be remunerated in some other way, for he says they are all overpaid already; and at this season, he always launches his beau ideal of a new theatre, the attractions of which he marshals in the following order "No benefits-no galleries-no afterpiece-to begin at nine o'clock-to be of a moderate size." Of the success of such an establishment, some notion may be formed from the fashionable patronage extended to the French play in Tottenham Street; and as you parliamentarians are omnipotent, I really wish you would get over this terrible monopoly of the regular theatres, as they facetiously term themselves, and realize the peer's scheme. Had not our flight from London been so rapid, I should have told you of my unfortunate étourderie on being presented at the Drawing room. On account of the cold wet weather, the careful Countess insisted on my wearing red clogs over my white satin shoes, into which I accordingly slipped my dutiful feet, and out of which, in the flutter and agitation of my first appearance at Court, I quite forgot to withdraw them! To her utter horror and dismay, she discovered this appalling piece of gaucherie just as I was about to be presented; but having the presence of mind to say nothing, she concealed me as well as she was able, and after the ceremony, covered my retreat so effectually with her own copious flounces, that I escaped in the crowd with only a partial titter from Lady and her sister, neither of whom ever lose an opportunity of annoying any of their particular friends. We have been afraid to mention the occurrence to the Peer, so pray consider this affair of the clogs as a profound secret. It will probably transpire fifty years hence in some great person's Memoirs, perhaps in my own. Madame Roland, you know, has immortalized matters equally important. Graces à Dieu! I have nearly filled my sheet; and as I am determined not to put the sole object of my letter in a postcript, as it is said we ladies are very apt to do, I proceed at once to the favour which I had to solicit. There is a rumour of another Drawing-room, at which the Peer has made a sort of half promise that I should be present, and yet he seems more than half desirous of not going up to town again; so that I live in daily terror of his "making it a principle" to remain at Brighton. Now, before this fiat is pronounced, do, my dear uncle, use your well-known influence to get him back to London, if it be only for a day or two. A word about the Apsley suit, and the advisableness of seeing Mr. Hart, would summon him from five times the distance; for you know," he makes it a principle" to attend to his duty as an executor and a most excellent principle it is, especially when it takes people up to London a day or two before the Drawing-room. The mode, however, I leave to your superior judgment; but accomplish this little affair for me, somehow, my dear uncle, or I know not how long it may be before I shall again subscribe myself Your affectionate niece, P. S. The Court Dress you were so kind as to give me, and for which I again offer you my thanks, was universally admired, which is one of the reasons why I wish to go again. I told every body it was your present, and your taste. If you get me taken to this expected Drawing-room, I pledge myself not to go in red clogs! No. XVI. Dublin, June 1st, 1825. DEAR SIR, The Hussars are ordered home from this cursed foreign service, and before long, I trust, will be in snug quarters at Brighton or Windsor. I bargain for the former to be near you, and occasionally attack your champaigne and green tea again. That we shall not be far from the "people of the Horse Guards" is pretty certain, for S tells me the Colonel has just received notice of a change of uniform, and that it is a new fancy in certain quarters, to which we shall no doubt be approximated, that we may exhibit the cut. I shall, therefore, have to draw upon you for 500l. in your capacity of my guardian. This perpetually altering our dress puts us to great expense; but as Lord Gsays, "it serves to keep plebs out of the corps." Since I wrote the above, I have seen the order for changing our regimentals. Sky-blue morocco half-boots, with silver spurs having platina rowels (an invention in our regiment), orange housings, peagreen facings and linings, upon a ground of dark blue, yellow cossack trowsers worked with scarlet embroidery, pearl braidings across the jacket fronts, and ermine hussar caps after the fashion of the German cavalry, with the sack having a silver bell pendent at the end, like a fool's сар. Mustachios to be worn à la Turque, black and red in alternate troops. Pyeballs and skewballs, blacks and bays, to alternate through the regiment when in line. Thus, after our expatriation, we |