Ben. Nay, he will anfwer the letter's mafter, how he dares, being dar'd, Mer. Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead! ftabb'd with a white wench's black eye, run through the ear with a love-fong; the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's but-fhaft; and is he a man to encounter Tybalt? Ben. Why, what is Tybalt? Mer. 7 More than prince of cats? - Oh, he's the couragious captain of compliments; he fights as you fing prick-fongs, keeps time, distance, and proportion; refts his minum, one, two, and the third in your bofom; the very butcher of a filk button, a duellift, a duellift; a gentleman of the very firft house, of the first and second caufe; ah, the immortal paffado, the punto reverfo, the, hay!. 8 Ben. The what? 9 66 Mer. The pox of fuch antick, lifping, affected phantafies, thefe new tuners of accents: Jefu! a very "good blade! a very tall man!a very good "whore! Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandfire! that we fhould be thus afflicted with thefe ftrange flies, these fashion-mongers, these pardonnezmoy's, who ftand fo much on the new form that they cannot fit at ease on the old bench? O, their bon's, their bon's! Enter Romeo. Ben. Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo. Mer. Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, Alefh, how art thou fifhified? Now is he for the num7 More than prince of cats? -] Tybalt, the name given to the Cat, in the ftory-book of Reynold the Fox. 8 A gentleman of the very first house, of the first and fecond caufe; } i. e. one who pretends to be at the head of his family, and quarrels by the book. See Note on As you like it. A&t V. Scene 6. 9 Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandfire!] Humourously apostrophifing his ancestors, whofe fober times were unacquainted with the fopperies here complained of. bers bers that Petrarch flowed in: Laura to his lady was but a kitchin-wench; marry, fhe had a better love to berime her: Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gipfie, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots: Thisbe a grey eye or fo: But now to the purpose. Signior Romeo, bonjour; there's a French falutation to your French Slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly laft night. Rom. Good morrow to you Both: What counterfeit did I give you? Mer. The flip, Sir, the flip: can you not conceive? Rom. Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great; and, in such a case as mine, a man may strain courtesy. Mer. That's as much as to fay, fuch a cafe as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams. Rom. Meaning, to curt'fie. Mer. Thou haft moft kindly hit it. Rom. A moft courteous expofition. Mer. Nay, I am the very pink of courtefie. Mer. Right. Rom. Why, then is my pump well flower'd. Mer. Sure wit-follow me this jeft, now, till thou haft worn out thy pump, that when the fingle fole of it is worn, the jeft may remain, after the wearing, folely fingular. Rom. O fingle-fol'd jeft, Solely fingular, for the finglenefs! Mer. Come between us, good Benvolio, my wit faints. Rom. Switch and fpurs. Switch and fpurs, or I'll cry a match. 1 Thisbé a grey eye or fo, but NOT to the purpose.] We should read and point it thus, Thisbé a grey eye or fo: But Now to the purpose. He here turns from his difcourfe on the effects of love, to enquire after Romeo. Mer. Mer. Nay, if our wits run the wild-goofe chafe, I am done for thou haft more of the wild-goofe in one of thy wits, than, I am fure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goofe? Rom. Thou waft never with me for any thing, when thou waft not there for the goofe. Mer. I will bite thee by the ear for that jest. Mer. Thy wit is a very bitter fweeting, Rom. And is it not well ferv'd in to a sweet goose? Mer. O, here's a wit of cheverel, that ftretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad. Rom. I ftretch it out for that word broad, which added to the goofe, proves thee far and wide a broad goofe. Mer. Why, is not this better, than groaning for love? Now thou art fociable; now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art, as well as by nature; for this driveling love is like a great Natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole. Ben. Stop there, ftop there. Mer. Thou defireft me to stop in my tale, against the hair. Ben. Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large. Mer. O, thou art deceiv'd, I would have made it fhort; for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer. Enter Nurfe, and Peter her Man. Rom. Here's goodly Geer: a Sayle! a Sayle! Nurfe. Peter, Peter. Anon? Nurfe. My Fan, Peter. Mer. Do, good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan's the fairer of the two. Nurfe. Nurfe. God ye good morrow, gentlemen. Mer. 'Tis no lefs, I tell you; for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon. Nurfe. Out upon you! what a man are you? Rom. One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himfelf to mar. Nurfe. By my troth, it is well faid: for himfelf to mar, quotha? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo. Rom. I can tell you but young Romeo will be older when you have found him, than he was when you fought him: I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse. Nurfe. You fay well. Mer. Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i'faith, wifely, wifely. I defire fome confidence with you. Ben. She will indite him to fome fupper. Rom. What haft thou found? Mer. No hare, Sir, unless a hare, Sir, in a lenten pye, that is fomething ftale and hoar ere it be spent. An old hare hoar, and an old hare hoar, is very good meat in Lent. But a hare, that is hoar, is too much for a score, when it hoars ere it be spent. Romeo, will you come to your father's? we'll to dinner thither. Rom. I will follow you. Mer. Farewel, antient lady; Farewel, lady, lady, lady. [Exeunt Mercutio, Benvolio. Nurfe. I pray you, Sir, what faucy merchant was this, that was fo full of his ropery? Rom. Rom. A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himfelf talk, and will fpeak more in a minute, than he will ftand to in a month. Nurse. An a speak any thing against me, I'll take him down an' he were luftier than he is, and twenty fuch Jacks and if I cannot, I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave, I am none of his flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates. And thou must stand by too, and fuffer every knave to use me at his pleasure? [To ber man. Pet. I faw no man ufe you at his pleasure: if I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as foon as another man, if I fee occafion in a good quarrel, and the law on my fide. Nurfe. Now, afore God, I am fo vext, that every part about me quivers Scurvy knave! Pray you, Sir, a word and as I told you, my young lady bid me enquire you out; what the bid me fay, I will keep to my felf: but firft let me tell ye, if ye fhould lead her into a fool's paradife, as they fay, it were a very grofs kind of behaviour, as they fay, for the gentlewoman is young; and therefore if you should deal double with her, truly, it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing. Rom. Commend me to thy lady and miftrefs, I pro-. teft unto thee Nurfe. Good heart, and, i'faith, I will tell her as much: Lord, lord, fhe will be a joyful woman. Rom. What wilt thou tell her, nurfe? thou doft not mark me. Nurfe. I will tell her, Sir, that you do proteft; which as I take it, is a gentleman-like offer. Rom. Bid her devife fome means to come to fhrift this afternoon ; And there fhe fhall at friar Laurence' Cell Be fhriv'd and married: here is for thy pains. Nurfe. No, truly, Sir, not a penny. Rom. |