FRETTING AND SCOLDING. 1. It is a sin against God.-It is evil, and only evil, and that continually. David understood both human nature, and the law of God. He says, 'Fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.' That is, never fret or scold, for it is always a sin. If you cannot speak without fretting and scolding, keep silence. 2. It destroys affection. No one ever did, ever can, or ever will love an habitual fretter, fault-finder, or scolder. Husbands, wives, children, relatives and domestics have no affection for your peevish, fretful fault-finder. Few tears are shed over the graves of such. Persons of high moral principle may tolerate them— may bear with them but they cannot love them any more than they can love the sting of nettles, or the noise of musquetoes. Many a man has been driven to the tavern, and to dissipation, by a peevish, fretful wife. Many a wife has been made miserable by a peevish, fretful husband. 3. It is the bane of domestic happiness. A fretful, peevish, complaining, fault-finding person in a family is like the continual chafing of an inflamed sore. Wo to the man, woman, or child, who is exposed to the influence of such a temper in another! Nine tenths of all domestic trials and unhappiness spring from this source. Mrs. D. is of this temperament. She wonders her husband is no more fond of her company. That her children give her so much trouble. That domestics do not like to work for her. That she cannot secure the good will of young people. The truth is she is peevish and fretful. Children fear her, but do not love her. She never yet gained the affections of a young person, nor ever will, till she leaves off fretting. 4. It defeats the end of family government. Good family government is the blending authority with affection, so as to secure respect and love. Indeed, this is the grand secret of managing young persons. Now your fretters may inspire fear, but they always make two faults where they correct one. Scolding a child, fretting at a child, sneering at a child, taunting a child, treating a child as though it had no feelings, inspire dread and dislike, and foster those very dispositions from which many of the worst faults of childhood proceed. Mr. G. and Mrs. F. are of this class. Their children are made to mind; but how? Mrs. F. frets and scolds her children. She is severe enough upon their faults. She seems to watch them in order to find fault. She sneers at them, taunts them and treats them as though they had no feelings. She seldom gives a command without a threat, and a long-running, fault-finding commentary. When she corrects her children, it is not done calmly, and in a serious, dignified manner. She raises her voice, puts on a cross look, threatens, strikes them, pinches their ears and snaps their heads. The children cry, pout, sulk; and poor Mrs. F. has to do her work over pretty often. Then she'll fret at her husband because he does not fall in with her ways, or chime in with her as a chorus. 5. Fretting and scolding make hypocrites. As a fretter never receives confidence and affection, so no one likes to tell them any thing disagreeable, and thus procure for themselves a fretting. How children always conceal as much as they can from such persons. They cannot make up their minds to be frank and open-hearted. So husbands conceal from their wives, and wives from their husbands. For a man may brave a lion, but who likes to come in contact with nettles and musquetoes? 6. It destroys one's peace of mind. - The more one frets, the more one may. A fretter will always have enough to fret at. Especially if he or she has the bump of order and neatness largely developed. Something will always be out of place. There will always be some dirt somewhere. Others will not eat right, look right, sit right, talk right, act right; that is, will not do these things so as to please them. And fretters are generally so selfish as to have no regard to any one's comfort but their own. 7. It is a mark of a vulgar, selfish disposition. Some persons have so much gall in their dispositions, are so selfish, that they seem to have no regard to the feelings of others. All things must be done to please them. They make their husbands, wives, children, domestics, the conductors by which their spleen and ill-nature are discharged. Wo to the children who are exposed to such influences! It makes them callous and unfeeling, and when they grow up they pursue the same course with their own children, or those intrusted to their management, and thus the race of fretters is perpetuated. Any persons who are in the habit of fretting, sneering, or taunting their husbands, wives, children, or domestics, show either a bad disposition, or ill-breeding. For it is generally your ignorant, lowbred people that are guilty of such things. Congregational Journal. Original. THE PIOUS DEATH OF A YOUTH. THERE died in our city, a short time since, a lad of twelve years, whose death was attended with circumstances of a touching and affecting character. In such deaths, when properly appreciated, I think there are lessons to be derived, of the most salutary kind, especially to the young. It is for this purpose that I pen these few lines, trusting the event will bless the living. The deceased was JAMES HENRY HINKLEY, the son of Mr. Henry K. and Sarah Hinkley. He was a sprightly, gentle lad; and in his hours of health, had recommended himself to all who knew him by his quiet and affectionate life, his reflective habits, and his obedience to his parents. He was a Sabbath school pupil, and loved its exercises. Several months since, he was seized with a painful disease, which resulted, a short time since, in his death. Then it was, during the painful, tedious hours of his bodily infirmity, that his lovely spirit went on toward the refinement and perfection that fitted it for heaven. When, in the progress of his disease, his sight began to fail him, he requested that some money should be appropriated to purchase a Testament of large print, that he might still be privileged to read it. And so he did, till his illness took another phase, and this privilege was denied him. Then, as though hope of life had clean gone from his suffering breast, he, as a final act of withdrawing from life, took the hand of his father, and that of his mother, and joined them together, as though he would have them walk together still in unity and love, though he were withdrawn from the circle. After this, notwithstanding his senses still remained, and he lingered several days, yet he apparently returned no more in spirit to the world, but was absorbed with other things. When his gentle, chastened spirit, at length took its flight, what a chasm was left in that family circle! Their eldest born, the sweet child of their affection, and for so many months of their closest care and watchfulness, was no more! But, also, what a hope and confidence was left, that from his suffering, emaciated body, his lovely spirit had uprisen to heaven! To his mother, who had hung over his pillow for many dreary weeks, it was a blessed thought, amid the weight of sorrow which rested upon her because her 'first-born was not,' that he was one of those who were ripe for heaven.' To his father, who had seen in his darling boy the budding of those manly virtues that might one day make him prized among the good and useful on earth, it was a source of melancholy joy, that he had escaped from the trials, and temptations, and perils of earth, so early, to a clime where youth and goodness are perennial. From these thoughts, how sweet is their consolation! To parents, the death of this confiding boy is another incentive, to the thousands inwrought in their hearts, to watch over the tender lambs committed to them, as lent, not given. How lightened by heaven's own light, are the bereaved hearts of these parents, when they reflect on the lovely tendencies of their son! So may it be with every parent's heart, whether their children be living or dying, if they but cherish and advance the graces of gentleness, affection, piety, in the bosoms of their dear offspring. Then, whether living or dying, those affections will rise up, hereafter, and call them blessed.' C. H. Portland, Nov., 1845. CONNUBIAL HAPPINESS. A great portion of the wretchedness which has so often embittered married life, I am persuaded, has originated in the negligence of trifles. Connubial happiness is a thing of too fine a texture to be handled roughly; it is a sensitive plant, which will not bear even the touch of unkindness a delicate flower, which indifference will chill and suspicion blast. It must be watered with the showers of tender affection-expanded with the glow of attention, and guarded by the impregnable barrier of unshaken confidence. Thus matured, it will bloom with fragrance in every season of life, and sweeten even the loneliness of declining years. Mrs. N. Stroat. HEALTH, AS AFFECTED BY THE MIND. Nothing more essentially contributes to health and longevity than a happy and tranquil state of mind, which is to be sought for in a temperate exercise of all the physical, intellectual, and moral faculties. Benevolence, friendship, love, a good conscience, with tender, refined, and elevated thoughts, are never-failing sources of health and delight; whereas pride, envy, jealousy, covetousness, anger, and all the passions, habitually indulged to excess, not only embitter our happiness, and that of all around us, but sap the foundation of health, and shorten the period of existence. Dr. Metcalfe. |