to behave ourselves in a regular attentive manner, till very lately one whole aifle has been difturbed with one of thefe monstrous Starers; he's the head taller than any one in the church; but, for the greater advantage of expofing himself, ftands upon a hafloc, and commands the whole congregation, to the great annoyance of the devouteft part of the auditory; for what with blufhing, confufion, and vexation, we can neither mind the prayers nor fermon. Your animadverfion upon this infolence would be a great favour to, Sir, your molt humble fervant, S. C.

I have frequently feen of this fort of fellows, and do not think there can be a greater aggravation of an offence, than that it is committed where the criminal is protected by the facrednefs of the place which he violates. Many reflections of this fort might be very jully made upon this kind of behaviour; but a Starer is not ufually a perfon to be convinced by the reafon of the thing, and a fellow that is capable of fhewing an impudent front before a whole congregation, and can bear being a public pectacle, is not fo easily rebuked as to amend by admonitions. If therefore my correspondent does not inform me, that within feven days after this date the barbarian does not at leaft ftand upon his own legs only, without an eminence, my friend Will Profper has promifed to take an hafloc oppofite to him, and ftare against him, in defence of the ladies. I have given him directions, according to the most exact rules of optics, to place himself in fuch a manner, that he hall meet his eyes wherever he throws them; I have hopes that when Will confronts him, and all the ladies, in whofe behalf he engages him, caft kind looks and wishes of fuccels at their champion, he will have some shame, and feel a little of the pain he has fo often put others to, of being out of countenance.

It has indeed been time out of mind generally remarked, and as often la. mented, that this family of Starers have infefted public affemblies; and I know no other way to obviate fo.great an evil, except, in the cafe of fixing their eyes upon women, fome male friend will take the part of fuch as are under the oppreffion of impudence, and encounter the eyes of the Starers wherever they

meet them. While we fuffer our women to be thus impudently attacked, they have no defence, but in the end to caft yielding glances at the Starers; and, in this cafe, a man who has no fenfe of fhame has the fame advantage over his miftrefs, as he who has no regard for his own life has over his adverfary. While the generality of the world are fettered by rules, and move by proper and juft methods; he, who has no refpect to any of them, carries away the reward due to that propriety of behaviour, with no other merit but that of having neglected it.

I take an impudent fellow to be a fort of outlaw in good-breeding, and therefore what is faid of him no nation or perfon can be concerned for. For this reafon, one may be free upon him. I have put myself to great pains in confidering this prevailing quality which we call impudence, and have taken notice that it exerts itself in a different manner according to the different foils wherein fuch fubjects of thefe dominions, as are mafters of it, were born. Impudence in an Englishman is fullen and infolent; in a Scotchman it is untractable and rapacious; in an Irifliman abfurd and fawning; as the courfe of the world now runs, the impudent Englishman behaves like a furly landlord, the Scot like an ill-received gueft, and the Irishman like a stranger who knows he is not welcome. There is feldom any thing entertaining either in the impudence of a South or North-Briton; but that of an Irishman is always comic: a true and genuine impudence is ever the effect of ignorance, without the leaft fenfe of it; the belt and most fuccessful Starers, now in this town, are of that nation; they have ufually the advan tage of the ftature mentioned in the above letter of my correfpondent, and generally take their stands in the eye of women of fortune; infomuch that I have known one of them, three months after he came from plough, with a tolerable good air lead out a woman from a play, which one of our own breed, after four years at Oxford, and two at the Temple, would have been afraid to look at.

I cannot tell how to account for it, but these people have ufually the preference to our own fools, in the opinion of the fillier part of womankind. Perhaps it is that an English coxcomb is

feldom

feldom fo obfequious as an Irish one; and when the defign of pleafing is vifible, an abfurdity in the way toward it is eafily forgiven.

But those who are downright impudent, and go on without reflection that they are fuch, are more to be tolerated, than a fet of fellows among us who profefs impudence with an air of humour, and think to carry off the most inexcufable of all faults in the world, with no other apology than faying in a

6

gay tone I put an impudent face upon the matter.' No; no man shall be allowed the advantages of impudence, who is confcious that he is fuch; if he knows he is impudent, he may as well be otherwife; and it fhall be expected that he blush, when he fees he makes another do it. For nothing can atone for the want of modefty; without which beauty is ungraceful, and wit detestable.

HOR. Er. 5 v. 28.

Ani fometimes very much troubled,

profeffions of Divinity, Law, and Phyfic; how they are each of them overburdened with practitioners, and filled with multitudes of ingenious gentlemen that ftarve one another.

We may divide the clergy into generals, field-officers, and fubalterns. Among the first we may reckon bifhops, deans, and archdeacons. Among the fecond are doctors of divinity, prebendaries, and all that wear fcarves. The reft are comprehende under the fubalterns. As for the firft clafs, our conftitution preferves it from any redundancy of incumbents, notwithstanding competitors are numberlefs. Upon a ftrict calculation, it is found that there has been a great exceeding of late years in the fecond divifion, feveral brevets having been grantel for the converting of fubalterns into fcarf-officers; infomuch that within my memory the price of luteftring is raifed above two-pence in a yud. As for the fubalterns, they are not to be numbered. Should our clergy once enter into the corrupt practice of the laity, by the splitting of their freeholds, they would be able to carry molt of the elections in England.

The body of the law is no lefs incumbered with fuperfluous members, that are like Virgil's army, which he tells us was fo crouded, many of them had not room to use their weapons, This prodigious fociety of men may be divided into the litigious and peaceable. Under the first are comprehended all

CREECH.

R

thofe who are carried down in coach

fulls to Westminster Hall, every morn ing in term-time. Martial's defcription of this fpecies of lawyers is full of hu

mour

Iras et verba locant.

Men that hire out their words and anger;' that are more or lefs paffionate according as they are paid for it, and allow their client a quantity of wrath proportionable to the fee which they receive from him. I muft however obferve to the reader, that above three parts of thofe whom I reckon among the litigious are fuch as are only quarrelfome in their hearts, and have no opportunity of fhewing their paffion at the bar. Nevertheless, as they do not know what ftrifes may arife, they appear at the Hall every day, that they may fhew themselves in a readiness to enter the lifts, whenever there fhall be occafion for them.

The peaceable lawyers are, in the first place, many of the benchers of the feveral inns of court, who feem to be the dignitaries of the law, and are endowed with thofe qualifications of mind that accomplish a man rather for a ruler than a pleader. Thefe men live peaceably in their habitations, eating once a day, and dancing once a year, for the honour of their respective focieties..

Another numberlefs branch of peaceable lawyers are thofe young men, who, being placed at the inns of court in order to study the laws of their country, frequent the playhoufe more than Weft

mintter

minfter Hall, and are feen in all public affemblies, except in a court of justice. I fhall fay nothing of thofe filent and bufy multitudes that are employed within doors in the drawing up of writings and conveyances; nor of thofe greater numbers that palliate their want of bufinefs with a pretence to fuch chamberpractice.

If, in the third place, we look into the profeffion of phyfic, we fhall find a moft formidable body of men; the fight of them is enough to make a man ferious; for we may lay it down as a maxim, that when a nation abounds in phyficians, it grows thin of people. Sir William Temple is very much puzzled to find out a reafon why the northern hive, as he calls it, does not send out fuch prodigious fwarms, and over-run the world with Goths and Vandals, as it did formerly; but had that excellent author obferved that there were no ftudents in phyfic among the fubjects of Thor and Woden, and that this fcience very much flourishes in the north at prefent, he might have found a better folution for this difficulty than any of thofe he has made ufe of. This body of men in our own country may be defcribed like the British army in Cæfar's time; fome of them flay in chariots, and fome on foot. If the infantry do lefs execution than the charioteers, it is becaufe they cannot be carried fo foon into all quarters of the town, and difpatch fo much business in fo fhort a time. Befides this body of regular troops, there are ftragglers, who, without being duly lifted and enrolled, do infinite mifchief to those who are fo unlucky as to fall into their hands.

There are, befides the above-mentioned, innumerable retainers to phyfic, who for want of other patients, amufe themselves with the ftifling of cats in an air-pump, cutting up dogs alive, or impaling of infects upon the point of a needle for microfcopical obfervations; befides thofe that are employed in the gathering of weeds, and the chafe of

butterflies; not to mention the cocklefhell merchants and fpider-catchers.

When I confider how each of these profeffions are crouded with multitudes that feek their livelihood in them, and how many men of merit there are in each of them, who may be rather faid to be of the science, than the profeffion; I very much wonder at the humour of parents, who will not rather chuse to place their fons in a way of life where an honeft induftry cannot but thrive, than in ftations where the greatest probity, learning, and good sense, may mifcarry. How many men are countrycurates, that might have made themfelves aldermen of London, by a right improvement of a fmaller fum of mo ney than what is usually laid out upon a learned education? A fober frugal perfon, of flender parts and a flow apprehenfion, might have thrived in trade, though he ftarves upon phyfic; as a man would be well enough pleafed to buy filks of one, whom he would not venture to feel his pulfe. Vagellius is careful, ftudious, and obliging, but withal a little thick skulled; he has not a single client, but might have had abundance of cuftomers. The misfortune is, that parents take a liking to a particular profeffion, and therefore defire their fons may be of it; whereas, in fo great an affair of life, they fhould confider the genius and abilities of their children, more than their own inclinations.

It is the great advantage of a trading nation, that there are very few in it fo dull and heavy, who may not be placed in ftations of life, which may give them an opportunity of making their fortunes. A well-regulated commerce is not, like law, phyfic, or divinity, to be overstocked with hands; but, on the contrary, flourishes by multitudes, and gives employment to all it's profeffors. Fleets of merchant-men are so many fquadrons of floating fhops, that vend our wares and manufactures in all the markets of the world, and find out chapmen under both the tropics.

C

N° XXII.

DRURY LANE, MARCH 24, 1710-11.

SIR,

Saw

I your friend the Templar this evening in the pit, and thought he looked very little pleafed with the reprefentation of the mad fcene of the Pil. grim. I wish, Sir, you would do us the favour to animadvert frequently upon the falfe tafte the town is in, with relation to plays as well as operas. It certainly requires a degree of understanding to play justly; but fuch is our condition, that we are to fufpend our reafon to perform our parts. As to fcenes of madness, you know, Sir, there are noble inftances of this kind in Shakespeare; but then it is the disturbance of a noble mind, from generous and humane refentments; it is like that grief which we have for the deceafe of our friends; it is no diminution, but a recommendation of human nature, that in fuch incidents paflion gets the better of reafon; and all we can think to comfort ourselves, is impotent against half what we feel. I will not mention that we had an idiot in the fcene, and all the fenfe it is reprefented to have is that of luft. As for myfelf, who have long taken pains in perfonating the paffions, I have tonight acted only an appetite. The part I played is thirst, but it is reprefented as written rather by a drayman than a poet. I come in with a tub about me, that tub hung with quart-pots, with a full gallon at my mouth. I am afhamed to tell you that I pleafed very much, and this was introduced as a madness; but fure it was not human madnefs, for a mule or an afs may have been as dry as ever I was in my life. I am, Sir, your moft obedient and humble fervant.

FROM THE SAVOY IN THE STRAND MR. SPECTATOR,

IF you can read it with dry eyes, I give

you this trouble to acquaint you, that I am the unfortunate King Latinus,

and believe I am the firft prince that dated from this palace fince John of Gaunt. Such is the uncertainty of all human greatnefs, that I, who lately never moved without a guard, am now preffed as a common foldier, and am to fail with the first fair wind against my brother Lewis of France. It is a very hard thing to put off a character which one has appeared in with applaufe; this I experienced fince the lofs of my diadem; for, upon quarrelling with another recruit, I spoke my indignation out of my part in recitativo

-Moft audacious flave, Dar'st thou an angry monarch's fury brave? The words were no fooner out of my mouth, when a ferjeant knocked me down, and asked me if I had a mind to mutiny, in talking things nobody understood. You fee, Sir, my unhappy circumftances; and if by your mediation you can procure a fubfidy for a prince, (who never failed to make all that beheld him merry at his appearance) you will merit the thanks of your friend, THE KING OF LATIUM.

ADVERTISEMENT.

FOR THE GOOD OP THE PUBLIC.

WITHIN two doors of the Masquerade lives an eminent Italian chirurgeon, arrived from the Carnival at Venice, of great experience in private cures. Accommodations are provided, and perfons admitted in their mafquing habits.

He has cured fince his coming thither, in less than a fortnight, four Scaramouches, a Mountebank Doctor, two Turkish Baffas, three Nuns, and a Morris-Dancer.

Venienti occurrite morbo.

N. B. Any person may agree by the great, and be kept in repair by the year. The doctor draws teeth without puiling off your mask.

R

N° XXIII.