upon the plucking of a merry-thought. A fcreech-owl at midnight has alarmed a family more than a band of robbers; nay, the voice of a cricket hath ftruck more terror than the roaring of a lion. There is nothing fo inconfiderable, which may not appear deadful to an imagination that is filled with omens and prognoftics. A rusty nail, or a crooked pin, fhoot up into prodigies.

I remember I was once in a mixt af fembly, that was full of noife and mirth, when on a fudden an old woman unluckily obferved there was thirteen of us in company. This remark ftruck a panic terror into several who were prefent, infomuch that one or two of the ladies were going to leave the room; but a friend of mine taking notice that one of our female companions was big with child, affirmed there were fourteen in the room, and that, instead of portending one of the company fhould die, it plainly foretold one of them fhould be born. Had not my friend found this expedient to break the omen, I question not but half the women in the company would have fallen fick that very night.

An old maid, that is troubled with the vapours, produces infinite difturbances of this kind among her friends and neighbours. I know a maiden aunt, of a great family, who is one of thefe antiquated Sibyls, that forebodes and prophefies from one end of the year to the other. She is always feeing apparitions, and hearing deathwatches; and was the other day almoft frighted out of her wits by the great houfe-dog, that howled in the ftable at a time when the lay ill of the tooth-ach. Such an extravagant caft of mind engages multitudes of people not only in impertinent terrors, but in fupernumerary duties of life; and arifes from that fear and ignorance which

I

are natural to the foul of man. The horror with which we entertain the thoughts of death (or indeed of any future evil) and the uncertainty of it's ap proach, fill a melancholy mind with innumerable apprehenfions and fufpicions, and confequently difpofe it to the obfervation of fuch groundiefs prodigies and predictions. For as it is the chief concern of wife men to retrench the evils of life by the reafonings of philofophy; it is the employment of fools to multiply them by the fentiments of fuperftition.

For my own part, I fhould be very much troubled were I endowed with this divining quality, though it should inform me truly of every thing that can befal me. I would not anticipate the relish of any happinefs, nor feel the weight of any mifery, before it actually

arrives.

I know but one way of fortifying my foul against thefe gloomy prefages and terrors of mind, and that is, by fecuring to myself the friendship and protection of that Being who difpofes of events, and governs futurity. He fees at one view, the whole thread of my existence, not only that part of it which I have already paffed through, but that which runs forward into all the depths of eternity. When I lay me down to fleep, I recommend myself to his care; when I awake, I give myself up to his direction. Amidst all the evils that threaten me, I will look up to him for help, and queftion not but he will either avert them, or turn them to my advantage. Though I know neither the time nor the manner of the death I am to die, I am not at all folicitous about it; because I am fure that he knows them both, and that he will not fail to comfort and fupport me under them.

VIRG. N. 1. 415.

Shall here communicate to the world a couple of letters, which I believe will give the reader as good an enter

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tainment as any that I am able to furnish him with, and therefore shall make no apology for them.

TO

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TO THE SPECTATOR, &c.

SIR,

Am one of the directors of the Society for the reformation of manners, and therefore think myself a proper perfon for your correfpondence. I have thoroughly examined the prefent ftate of religion in Great Britain, and am able to acquaint you with the predominant vice of every market-town in the whole inland. I can tell you the progrefs that virtue has made in all our cities, boroughs, and corporations; and know as well the evil practices that are committed in Berwick or Exeter, as what is done in my own family. In a word, Sir, I have my correfpondents in the remoteft parts of the nation, who send me up punctual accounts from time to time of all the little irregularities that fall under their notice in their feveral diftricts and divifions.

I am no less acquainted with the particular quarters and regions of this great town, than with the different parts and diftributions of the whole nation. I can describe every parish by it's impieties, and can tell you in which of our streets lewdnets prevails, which gaming has taken the poffeffion of, and where drunkennefs has got the better of them both. When I am difposed to raise a fine for the poor, I know the lanes and alleys that are inhabited by common swearers. When I would encourage the hofpital of Bridewell, and improve the hempen manufacture, I am very well acquainted with all the haunts and reforts of female night-walkers.

After this short account of myself, I must let you know, that the defign of this paper is to give you information of a certain irregular affembly, which I think falls very properly under your obfervation, efpecially fince the perfons it is compofed of are criminals too confiderable for the animadverfions of our fociety. I mean, Sir, the Midnight Mafk, which has of late been very frequently held in one of the moft confpicuous parts of the town, and which I hear will be continued with additions and improvements. As all the perfons whe compofe this lawless affembly are matked, we dare not attack any of them in our way, left we should fend a woman of quality to Bridewell, or a peer of Great Britain to the Counter: befides that,

their numbers are fo very great, that I am afraid they would be able to rout our whole fraternity, though we were accompanied with all our guard of conftables. Both thefe reafons, which fecure them from our authority, make them obnoxious to yours; as both their difguife and their numbers will give no particular perfon reason to think himself affronted by you.

If we are rightly informed, the rules that are obferved by this new fociety are wonderfully contrived for the advancement of cuckoldom. The women either come by themselves, or are introduced by friends, who are obliged to quit them, upon their first entrance, to the converfation of any body that addreffes himfelf to them. There are feveral rooms where the parties may retire, and if they pleafe, fhew their faces by confent. Whispers, fqueezes, nods, and embraces, are the innocent freedoms of the place. In fhort, the whole defign of this libidinous affembly feems to terminate in affignations and intrigues; and I hope you will take effectual methods by your public advice and admonitions, to prevent fuch a promiscuous multitude of both fexes from meeting together in fo clandestine a manner. I am, your humble fervant, and fellow-labourer,

T. B.

Not long after the perufal of this letter I received another upon the fame subject; which, by the date and stile of it, I take to be written by fome young Templar.

SIR,

MIDDLE TEMPLE, 1710-11.

WHEN a man has been guilty of

any vice or folly, I think the best atonement he can make for it, is to warn others not to fall into the like. In order to this I must acquaint you, that fome time in February last I went to the Tuesday's mafquerade. Upon my first going in I was attacked by half a dozen female Quakers, who feemed willing to adopt me for a brother; but upon a nearer examination, I found they were a fifterhood of coquettes difguifed in that precife habit. I was foon after taken out to dance, and, as I fancied, by a woman of the first quality, for the was very tall, and moved gracefully. As foon as the minuet was over, we ogled one another through our masks; and as

I am

I am very well read in Waller, I repeated to her the four following verfes out of his poem to Vandike:

The heedlef's lover does not know,
Whofe eyes they are that wound him fo;
But confounded with thy art,
Inquires her name that has his heart.

I pronounced thefe words with fuch a languishing air, that I had fome reafon to conclude I had made a conqueft. She told me that the hoped my face was not akin to my tongue; and looking upon her watch, I accidentally discovered the figure of a coronet on the back part of it. I was fo tranfported with the thought of such an amour, that I plied her from one room to another with all the gallantries I could invent; and at length brought things to fo happy an iffue, that The gave me a private meeting the next day, without page or footman, coach er equipage. My heart danced in rap

MAN

tures, but I had not lived in this golden dream above three days before I found good reafon to with that I had continued true to my laundrefs. I have fince heard, by a very great accident, that. this fine lady does not live far from Covent Garden, and that I am not the first cully whom the has paffed herfelf upon for a countess.

Thus, Sir, you fee how I have miftaken a Cloud for a Juno; and if you can make any use of this adventure, for the benefit of those who may poffibly be as vain young coxcombs as myself, I do moft heartily give you leave. I am, Sir, your most humble admirer,

B. L.

Juv. SAT. XV. 163.

TAN is faid to be a fociable animal; and, as an inftance of it, we may obferve, that we take all occafons and pretences of forming ourselves into thofe little nocturnal affemblies, which are commonly known by the name of Clubs. When a fet of men find themfelves agree in any particular, though never to trivial, they establish themselves into a kind of fraternity, and meet once or twice a week, upon the account of fuch a fantastic refemblance. I know a confiderable market-town, in which there was a club of fat men, that did not come together, as you may well fuppole, to entertain one another with fprightlinefs and wit, but to keep one another in countenance; the room where the club met was fomething of the largeft, and had two entrances, the one by a door of a moderate fize, and the other by a pair of folding doors. If a candidate for this corpulent club could make his entrance through the firit, he was looked upon as unqualified; but if baftuck in the paffage, and could not

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force his way through it, the foldingdoors were immediately thrown open for his reception, and he was faluted as a brother. I have heard that this club, though it confifted but of fifteen perfons,., weighed above three tun.

In oppofition to this fociety, there fprung up another compofed of fcareCrows and fkeletons, who being very meagre and envious, did all they could to thwart the defigns of their bulky brethren, whom they represented as men of dangerous principles; till at length they worked them out of the favour of the people, and confequently out of the magiftracy. Thefe factions tore the corporation in picces for feveral years, till at length they came to this accommodation; that the two bailiffs of the town fiould be annually choten out of the two clubs; by which means the principal magiftrates are at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and one lean.

Every one has heard of the club, or rather the confederacy of the Kings. This grand alliance was formed a little

after

after the return of King Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of all qualities and profeffions, provided they agreed in the furname of King, which, as they imagined, fufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogether untainted with republican and antimonarchical principles.

A Chriftian name has likewife been often used as a badge of diftinction, and made the occafion of a club. That of the George's, which used to meet at the fign of the George on St. George's day, and fwear before George, is ftill fresh in every one's memory.

There are at prefent in feveral parts of this city what they call Street Clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the #treet converfe together every night. I remember, upon my enquiring after lodgings in Ormond Street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me, there was at that time a very good club in it; he alfo told me, upon farther difcourfe with him, that two or three noify country-fquires, who were fettled there the year before, had confiderably funk the price of houserent; and that the club (to prevent the like inconveniences for the future) had thoughts of taking every houfe that became vacant into their own hands, till they had found a tenant for it, of a fociable nature, and good conversation.

The Hum-Drum Club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honeft gentlemen, of peaceable difpofitions, that used to fit together, fmoke their pipes, and fay nothing till midnight. The Mum Club, as I am informed, is an inftitution of the fame nature, and as great an enemy to noife.

After these two innocent focieties, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mifchievous one, that was erected in the reign of King Charles the Second; I mean the Club of Duellifts, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The prefident of it was faid to have killed half a dozen in fingle combat; and as for the other inembers, they took their feats according to the number of their flain. There was likewife a fide-table, for fuch as had only drawn blood, and fhewn a laudable ambition of taking the first opportunity to qualify themfelves for the firft table. This club confifting only of men of honour, did not continue long,

moft of the members of it being put to the fword, or hanged, a little after it's inftitution.

Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein molt men agree, and in which the learned and illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-Cat itself is faid to have taken it's original from a mutton-pye. The Beaf-Steak, and October Clubs, are neither of the averfe to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their refpective titles.

When men are thus knit together by a love of fociety, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to cenfure or annoy thofe that are abfent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at leaft to relax themfelves from the bufinefs of the day, by an innocent and chearful converfation, there may be fomething very useful in thefe little inftitutions and establishments.

I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a fcheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a little alehoufe: how I came thither I may inform my reader at a more convenient time. These laws were enacted by a knot of artifans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as there is fomething in them which gives us a pretty picture of low life, I hall tranfcribe them word for word.

RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN THE TWO-PENNY CLUB, ERECTED IN THIS PLACE, FOR THE PRESERVATION OF FRIENDSHIP AND GOOD NEIGHBOURHOOD.

1. EVERY member at his firft coming in fhall lay down his two-pence. 11. Every member fhall fill his pipe out of his own box.

III. If any member abfents himself, he fhall forfeit a penny for the ufe of the club, unlefs in cafe of ficknefs or imprifonment.

iv. If any member fwears or curfes, his neighbour may give him a kick upon the thins.

v. If any member tells ftories in the club that are not true, he 'fhall forfeit for every third lye an halfpenny.. VI. If

T is with much fatisfaction that I

great by

day after thefe my papers, and receiving my morning lectures with a becoming feriousness and attention. My publisher tells me, that there are already three thousand of them diftributed every day; fo that if I allow twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modelt computation, I may reckon about threescore thousand difciples in London and Westminster, who I hope will take care to diftinguish themselves from the thoughtless herd of their ignorant and unattentive brethren. Since I have raised to myself so great an audience, I fhall fpare no pains to make their inftruction agreeable, and their diverfion ufeful. For which reasons I fhall endeavour to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality, that my readers may, if poffible, both ways find their account in the fpeculation of the day. And to the end that their virtue and difcretion may not be fhort, tranfient, intermitting starts of thought, I have refolved to refresh their memories from day to day, till I have recovered them out of that defperate state of vice and folly into which the age is fal

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len. The mind that lies fallow but à

only to be killed by a conftant and affiduous culture. It was faid of Socrates, that he brought philofophy down from Heaven, to inhabit among men; and I shall be ambitious to have it faid of me, that I have brought philofophy out of closets and libraries, fchools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and affemblies, at tea-tables and in coffee-houses. I would therefore in a very particular manner recommend thefe my fpeculations to all well-regulated families, that fet apart an hour in every morning for tea and bread and butter; and would earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually ferved up, and to be looked upon as a part of the teaequipage,

Sir Francis Bacon obferves, that a well-written book, compared with it's rivals and antagonists, is like Mofes's ferpent, that immediately fwallowed up and devoured thofe of the Ægyptians. I fhall not be fo vain as to think, that where the Spectator appears, the other public prints will vanifh; but shall leave it to my readers confideration, whether it is not much better to be let into the D knowledge