hundred northerly gales through a thousand crannies-it was louder than a legion of young pigs, all mounting to the highest bar of the styeit was more shrill than the shrieks of myriads of screech-owls, joining in one universal chorus over the slain upon the battle-field-and it was succeeded by several hoarse voices from Stentorian lungs, shouting with all their might. Instantly there was a response still louder, and the tramping of many heavy feet upon the stairs.

Up sprang the landlord, almost paralysed with fright, convinced that the house must be on fire, and thrusting his legs through the pocketholes of his wife's petticoat, and his arms through the legs of his smallclothes, he rushed out upon the landing-place, followed by his fat better half, enveloped in the counterpane, and her finely be-ribboned day-cap, (which, in spite of her hurry, she had found time to exchange for her night-dress) hind part before. Open flew the bed-room doors-out popped skulls enveloped in all colours, shouting, " Fire!" and "Thieves!" -down came the waiters and hand-maidens, half undressed-up rushed the cook, in the ostler's boots-and such an assemblage as was congregated there upon that landing (whilst the banisters displayed many a railing head) was never seen before. There was a running to and fro in all directions. One cry, one universal cry prevailed, and "What's the matter?" was asked and repeated by every tongue, except that of the laughing Captain S, who, in his full uniform, looked over from his suite of apartments, and seemed to be quietly enjoying the sport. Every one cried to him for explanation—and as they raised their eyes, dolefully beseeching to his merry phiz, "What's the matter?" was again uttered in all the different cadences of the vocal powers of humanity.

"Oh, don't be alarmed," said the Captain, soothingly, as he shed upon them the light of a bewitching smile, "I am sorry you have been disturbed-very sorry indeed—the idlers are not wanted."

"For heaven's sake, tell us what's the matter, Captain S- !" entreated mine host-" where are the thieves?"

"Thieves, Mr. ?" responded the Captain, angrily, as he descended the stairs-" thieves!-how dare you presume to use such epithets in reference to some of the best seamen in his Majesty's service. Take care, sir, such insolence deserves severe chastisement, and shall have it too, if it is repeated ;" and he drew himself up menacingly in front of the proprietor, who, already panic-stricken, retreated hehind his wife.

"Do pray, if you can, relieve our minds, Captain S," implored the lady, and all hands joined in the entreaty.

Certainly, madam," responded the bowing Captain, "shall be truly happy to do so; and perhaps, as most present are landsmen, it may be

of service to them to understand the difference, so as not to jump upon deck till they hear the hands turned up-I presume you allude to the piping that has recently been heard; I assure you it is always my custom when I have a command ashore—it was merely my boatswain's mates calling the starboard watch." He looked up: "Yo hoy there! Jack, Bill, and Tom, where are you?" Out bolted three stout seamen from one of the rooms, who responded to their commander's hail with Aye aye, yer honour."

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Pipe down, my lads," said the Captain; and bending low and courteously to the angry group, he withdrew to his apartment. The boatswain's mates put their calls to their lips, and then succeeded another shrill chirping whistle, that made many clap their hands to their dainty ears, lest, hearing the pipes, the drums should also begin to beat. soon as they had done, the seamen disappeared, and, like the bursting out of a wasp's nest upon an intruder, so was every sting now pointed at the landlord; but he, guessing at the trick which had been played upon him, slunk away to his chamber, amidst the threats and denunciations of his guests, who, having vented their spleen, returned indignantly to their beds, and silence was restored.

The face of the hall clock looked full of michief, as the minute-hand swept round it, and old Time, as he stood with his scythe upraised at the top, seemed to be winking his eye at the bust of Momus, that ornamented the shade of the hall lamp. Round circled the hand for the fourth time since the uproar-the obedient hammer proclaimed the fourth hour of the morning, when again arose those shrilly sounds-again the hoarse voices were heard, "Ho!-the larboard watch ahoy!" three times repeated; once more there was the rattling and stamping on the stairs, as the officers of the dinner-party on the previous day, entering into the frolic of Captain S- ascended or descended with no very gentle tread. Sleep was murdered-out bundled the landlord again— doors flew open-vows of vengeance and denunciatory imprecations were bellowed forth, like shots from a dozen masked batteries.

A glorious breakfast was, by especial order, arranged in the sittingroom of Captain S―, and thither, about nine o'clock, assembled the Captain's guests of the day before, to laugh heartily at their night's spree. As soon as they had partaken of this morning meal, and had departed to their duty, the proprietor entered, and with a countenance in which cunning and vexation were blended, he assumed a high tone, declaring that " he would not have his house-noted for its quiet and propriety— made the scene of such unseemly conduct."

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'My dear sir," answered the Captain, mildly, "you quite mistake the thing-it is a universal practice that I have adopted, wherever I

engage a suite of apartments-I regret that it interferes with or incommodes the gentlemen who honour you with their confidence-but you must be sensible, my dear sir, that discipline is necessary in all wellregulated commands-your own establishment, for instance;" and he looked superlatively innocent, as he shrugged his shoulders and spread out his hands.

"Really, Captain S," responded the landlord, somewhat fiercely, through mistaking the gallant tar's quiet demeanor, "I neither can nor will suffer such things; my character-the reputation of my house—the comfort of my friends-" and he paced the room in fury.

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Very very sorry," returned the Captain, with perfect self-command-" it would be a sad pity for your character, as proprietor, and the reputation of your hotel, to sustain injury; and I grieve still more for the annoyance of your friends; but it is utterly impossible for me to break old-established regulations; my men are so used to the thing, that my authority would be at stake if I were to discontinue it. I have hired your apartments for a month

"Merciful Heaven! and do you mean to continue this hideous, odious noise for a month, Captain S?" demanded the terrified landlord.

"Hideous, odious noise, Mr.," repeated the Captain, affecting surprise and wrath, "do you call those harmonious pipings? Hideous, odious noise!"" He threw himself into a theatrical attitude, as he spouted with ranting vehemence, and advanced fiercely :

"The man that hath no music in himself,

Nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds,

Is fit" (he bawled out) " for treasons, stratagems, and spoils;
The motions of his spirit are dull as night,

And his affection dark as Erebus:

Let no such man be trusted.''

"He is mad, moon struck mad," muttered the landlord to himself, as he retreated before the menacing Captain, who followed him round the room. Captain S, be pacified, I beg."

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"Hideous noise, do you call it ?" continued the Captain, his sword half drawn, and fierceness distending every feature of his agitated face, as he brought the landlord to a trot―" hideous, odious noise, eh? Sir,

This music hath crept by me on the waters,

Allaying both their fury and my passion

With its sweet air.'"'

"I wish the whistles were there now, with all my heart, Captain Ssaid the subdued man, almost out of breath, as he danced about the room. "Oh, do be calm, sir.

Lord, what shall I do ?" (The Captain