R. M. Micrologia. Characters, or Essayes, Of Persons, Trades, and Places, offered to the City and Country. By R. M.... Printed at London by T. C. for Michael Sparke, dwelling at the blue Bible in Greene Arbor. 1629. 8vo. [Bodleian Library. ? Unique copy.] 16 characters. I can discover nothing about 'R. M.' He writes a long caveatory Epistle to the understanding Reader,' explaining that by tossing off his 'meane' characters lightly, they will become more effective than if he had followed the custom in the Presse' where is 'every one striving to distill the dewie Quintessence of his braine, thro' the Limbecke of invention,' and thereby oppressing the world. R. M. is not quite free from the eare-hony he is decrying, but he has a pleasant directness which makes some of his home truths tell to-day. Not alone the country' shoe-maker is now the crooked Toes Jaylor, and oft keepes Chambermaids so fine in their feete, they halt downe-right.' The Tooth-drawer altered his ways as little as the Quack-doctor. R. M. might, in 1629, have been describing Hans Sebald Beham's brilliant woodcut, made in 1535, when he notes the ragged teeth that 'dignifie his Banner,' or the Cut-purse who 'becomes a great sharer in the worke,' employing 'his limetwig-fingers to draw a Purse, as himselfe a Tooth.' The banner is inscribed Hi guten Ti | riact vnd | Wurmsam.' The illustration is from one of the groups in The Village Fair, and the cut is described by Mr. Campbell Dodgson as a fine impression of the first state.' [Catalogue of Early German and Flemish Woodcuts...in the British Museum. London, 1903, i. p. 478, No. 146.] M.A. 193 N A Country Shoo-maker Is one, that seemes to have some insight in Mens dispositions, especially of his ordinary Customers; for he will soone have the length of your foote to an haire. Hee is not much unlike some carelesse Prelates; for he sets a smooth face on the upper Leather, but regards not the Soles flitting. His knowledge is merely superficial, and dives much into the Art of excoriation. The Butcher is the Prologue, or first branch of his profit: The Currier the intermedium or Chorus: Himselfe with the helpe of his cutting-knife, makes up the Catastrophe, in Boots, Shooes, Pantofles, &c. Hee is an inveterate enemy to the lives of divers dumb beasts, not caring how many are put to slaughter, so their Hides come cheaply to him. His Fox-furre pretending ease by drawing on; is the truest Embleme of his fraud and subtilty, intending rather to draw in for his owne profit; and if you watch narrowly his insteps in a darke shop; you may characterize him uttering (if not changing) Calfe for Neate. He is a great tormenter of improfitable Cornes in a Commonwealth; yet if you intreat him faire, he is mercifull enough, and will at Last give you ease. Hee is the crooked Toes Jaylor, and oft keepes Chambermaids so fine in their feete they halt downeright. In the Country he alway caries the Reliques of S. Hugh's Bones, till the hot Sun-shine, converts him to Hay-making, or Harvest-worke. In winter season you shall by 8 of the clocke, rather finde his nose steeled with a black pot, then his Aule with a Bristle. He is a spruce fellow at a Faire, & uses Truncke Hose at a Wake. He A COUNTRY SHOO-MAKER 195 pinches more at five groats then any other Trade at two-pence. His skill is very raw in the Mathematicks; yet ha's taught many, being a while in his Leather prison, to prove weather-wise; and by pricking and shooting of their Cornes perfectly sensible of stormes ensuing. His greatest enemie is a Rich man with the goute, who never weares ought but slippers in all companies. Hee tels you the onely Court fashion is to walke in Bootes, and sweares they are the compleatest ornament of legge or foote. His maine feare is a Parliament, lest there might proceed some new addition to the last Act, to thwart his designes, That as Butchers were forbad to sell meat on Sundayes, so he should shooes, which if it happen, he vowes neither King nor Begger, shall passe his pinching jurisdiction so long as he upholds the Trade. Briefly, he is one uses least conscience on Sundayes, when if your necessities bring you to his shop doore, hee will bee sure to racke two pence or a groat more on the price for comming so unseasonably. He sings all the Rounds and Catches that Robin-hood had; and the Pinder of Wakefield is commonly the fore-horse of his Tenor. He deemes good-Ale the onely up-holder of a cleare voyce, and wishes, that he which loves it not may never sing more. A Tooth-drawer got it Is a man highly fam'd for his Art; for he beyond the Seas, as by Labels at his doore may appeare. As thus: Know all gentlemen, that I Signior or Mounsieur such a one, after long travaile, and great experience in forraigne parts, A TOOTH-DRAWER 197 beyond the Seas, have industriously attained many rare secrets, viz. To draw Teeth, set in New, mundifie or make blacke Teeth white, rid the gummes, or take away the paine without drawing; nor doth hee rest heere, but if need require professes the Cure of many other diseases, as Cramp, Convulsions, Gouts, Palsies, Catars, &c. And can tell them at first sight, if they be curable or not. Howbeit, this superficiall view must bring him some feeling, else he is not well pleased. His businesse is never perform'd in so much State, as when he is mounted upon his Palfrey or Irish Hobby, riding through the high streets of the City, like Caesar in his Triumph, his Clyents following him laying their hands on their mouthes, as though they would keepe silence, till paine makes them roare out, which his horse or he perceiving, reflects backe on them an eye of ruthfull pitie, straight playes the Constables part to bid them come after him; and having felt their pulses, lookes next into their mouthes, to know their age, thrusts in his hand or fingers, and seemes in this posture a Richard Corde-Lyon, diving to the heart or stump of hollow Teeth. Yet have I heard he ha's a tricke to convey an iron punch in a hand-kerchiefe, which oft prove the jeopardy of a jaw to some of his Patients. He is a fellow very captious; for hee is apt to twit you in the Teeth on the least occasion; exceeding desperate, for if you take distaste or finde your selfe agreev'd, though it bee but a Tooth-aking, hee is straight ready to draw. He is the mouths Gardiner, that prunes the hedgerowes of the Teeth, and like a Sergeant military set them in their due Rankes and Files. Those rotten, |