I have not been able to keep my countenance, but fall incontinently to weeping, juft as I did at Hewit's letter; in which distress I have fo much fatisfaction, that, though it makes me as lean and meagre as one of my fkeletons, I am more contented than a prince. On the other hand, I have very often an opportunity to bring up my flesh again by contrary emotions; for if, either by ftratagem or by nature, I can once set my patients to laughing, their cure is certain, and they have no more to fear. At any rate, I am a very inoffenfive little fellow, and pick up a goodifh income for me and my wife, whom, as I hope to be faved, fir, I married because fhe has my faculty of laughing, and will fit oppofite to

5

me

me in her arm chair (which, God bless her, the fills bursting full) and titters at nothing by the hour together. Oh! fhe's a fenfible woman, fir; and though fhe is fo lufty, I am fain to trundle her about the parlour for exercife; fhe does make fuch fine remarks on medicine and on human nature, and on the growth of the human hair, that, if I were a penman, I would put her down for publication. What a capital volume in folio would my wife be! Even in sheets The cuts a very refpectable figure, I prefume Mr. Elixir, faid I.

Ha ha ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! replyed the apothecary.

Mr. Elixir was now again fet in for the above ha ha! ha! diversion,

VOL. I

L

and

and toffed himself from chair to chair, panting and fuming with his convulfion, for near twenty minutes. Oh! various Nature; how doft thou sport with us thy little creatures!

After this, Elixir spoke.

We live, I fay fir, comfortably; but I am not abfolutely in the richest part, you know, of the habitable globe, and my cuftomers who pay, are in no proportion to those who do not pay. The truth is, I will cure a man at any time if he will but either laugh or cry with me; and, as I have taken notice those are the two matters moft in practice in this world, I think I ftand a good chance to be fupplied. Yet I must tell you, that though I choose always

to

to laugh in company, I had always a thousand times rather cry alone.

Odds fo, odds fo, that's true (faid he, recollecting himself) I have a poor thing that I muft fee to-night, and fhe lives full a mile from hence. She must not be weeping in her bed, while I am telling you a history that is not worth fix-pence. Befides, fhe is poor.

Upon this our master of phyfic fprung up, and hurried out, in the middle of as dark and rainy night, as, in Summer, could poffibly be.

God be with thee poor fellow, faid I, go where thou wilt! May Providence keep every ftorm from thy

heart!

L 2

That

That he will, papa, replied Matilda, you may depend upon it. 'Here my daughter took out her pocket-book and pencil. What are you writing Matilda, faid I? Only the names of perfons whom I recommend to you as proper, fir, for

The Green.

Let me fee, my dear?

Mr. Edward Elixir and wife-Two hundred pounds per annum.

Mr. Henry Hewit and familyTwo hundred pounds per annum.

John Sawe to be protected.

Agreed Matilda, faid I.

Thus ended our evening.

CHAP.