him out by the hair of the head and skin him alive. I thought this was carrying the joke rather too far, so I tho't I'd put in my oar; for when I see any body run upon too hard I cant help taking their part.

So I stepped up on to Mr Ingham's front door steps, and threw my hat down, and rolled up my sleeves, and spit on my hands; and by that time the chaps began to stare at me a little. And now, says I, Major Eaton, this is quite too bad. A man's house is his castle. Here's Mr Ingham in his house as peaceable as a lamb; he is n't a meddling with nobody, and you need n't think to drag him out here to-night, I can tell ye. If you really want to take a bit of a box, just throw away your powder and ball, and here's the boy for you. I'll take a fist or two with you and glad of the chance. You impudent scoundrel, says he, who are you? what business is it to you what I done? Clear out, or I'll send you where you ought to been long ago. Well, then, you'll send me into some good office, says I, for there's where I ought to have been more than two years ago. Well, says he, clear out, and up he come blustering along towards the steps. But I jest put my foot down, and doubled up my fist, and now, says I, Major Eaton, it wont be healthy for you to come on to these steps to-night.

Says he, I'm going through that door whether or no. Says I, you dont go through this door to-night, without you pass over the dead body of Jack Downing of the State of Maine. My stars, when they heard that, they dropt their heads as quick as though they had been cut off, for they did n't know who I was before. Major Eaton and the whole gang of gentlemen with him turned right about and marched away as still as a pack of whipped puppies. They were afraid I should have 'em all up before the President to-day, and have 'em turned out of office; for it's got whispered round the city that the President sets a great deal by me, and that I have a good deal of influence with him.

This morning Mr Ingham started for Philadelphy. Before he left, he thanked me a thousand times for defending his house so well last night, and he wrote a letter to the President, telling him all about the scrape. I went a piece with him to see him safe out of the city on the great road towards Baltimore.

About my prospects for an office, I cant tell you yet how I shall come out. I've been in to see the President a number of times, and he talks very favorable. I have some chance to get in to be Secretary of War, if old Judge White dont take it; and if I dont get that the President says he 'll do the best he can for me.

I never had to be so strict a republican before in my life as I've had to be since I've been here in order to get the right side of the President. I'll tell you something about it in my next, and about my visits to the President, and a good many other famous things here.

P. S. Be sure and send the old gun as quick as possible. Your loving neffu,

JACK DOWNING.

LETTER XXXVI.

In which Cousin Ephraim tells about the persecution of poor Mrs No-tea.

TROUBLE IN DOWNINGVILLE.

To cousin Jack Downing, down to Portland, if he's got back, if he hasn't I want the Portland Courier to send this on to Washington.

DEAR COUSIN JACK. Your uncle Joshua has been turned out of General Combs' employ only jest because your cousin Naby, Mrs Inkhorn, and Mrs Thimblebury, and a few other of the topping-folks, wouldn't invite

poor Mrs No-tea to their husking and quilting parties. I had a long talk with the General t' other day - he was hopping mad, and declared he would turn every man and woman off of his farm and out of his mills rather than that good woman should be treated in the manner she had been. She was as good as the best of 'em any day, and he could prove it. He did n't care so much about her going to their afternoon visits when they went sociable without stays, and took their knitting-work and got home again before milking time; but when there was a grand husking or quilting, he thought it pesky hard and lonely for her to stay at home, while every body else in Downingville was trying the double shuffle and the cutting out jigg. I tho't so too; but I told the General it was no use for him to make such a fuss about it; that he had better attack old Ticonderogue in front and rear than undertake to make women haw or jee if they want a mind to— they always would have their own way in spite of every body and Tom Walker besides, and the less he had to do with them the better. With that he up and smashed his pipe into the fire-place and stompt like fury and bedlame.

I scampered off in less than no time to inform you how matters were going. You had better come up and try to put things to rights.

As you have no wife nor children, I think you can manage affairs more to your own and the General's liking than any one else of the family.

Your luvin cousin,

EPHRAIM.