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life, But this is now becoine necessary among the low est ranks of people.
Blitbe. You have been very singular, there are few men in our age that have been so frugal aiul saving as you have. But we must always endeavor to conform outselves a little to the custom of the times. My son is not more extravagant than other young people of his age. He loves to drink a glass of wine sometimes, with his companions, and to appear pretty gaily drest; but this is only what is natural and custoinary for every one. I understand he has formed some conecntions with your eldest daughter, and I should be fond of the alliance, if I could gain your approbation of the inatter.
Hunks. The custom of the times will undo is all-rthere's no living in this prodigal age. The young people must have their bottles, their tavern dinners, and dice, wbile the old ones are made perfect drudges to support their luxury.
Blitbe. Our families, Sir, without doubt, would be very happy in such a connection, if you would grant your
Hunks. I lose all patience when I see the young beaux and fops strutting about the streets in their laced coats and ruffled svirts, and a thousand other extravagant articles of expence.
Blilbe. Sir, I should be very glad if you would turn your atteution to the question I proposed.
Hunks. Tiere's one half of these coxcomical spend. thrifts, that can't pay their taxes, and yet they are con. stantly running into debi, and their prodigality must be supported by poor, honest, laboring men.
Blitbe. This is insufferable ; I'm.vex'd.at the old fel. low's impertinence.--[Aside.
Hunks. The world has got to a strange pass, a very strange pass indeed; there's no distinguishing a poor man from a rich one, but only by his extravagant dress, and supercilious behaviour,
Blitbe.. I abhor to see a man all mouth and no ears.
Hunks. All mouth and no ears!' do you mean to in sult me to my face?
Blitbe. I ask your pardon, Sir; but I've been talking: you this hour and you have paid me no att:ntion..
Hunks. Well and what is this mighty affair upon which you want my opinion.
Blithe. It is something you have paid very little attention to, it seems; I'm willing to be heard in my turn as well as you. I was telling that my son had entered into a treaty of marriage with your eldest daughter, and I desire your consent in the matter.
Hunks. A treaty of marriage! why did'nt she ask my liberty before she attempted any such thing? A treaty of marriage! I won't hear a word of it.
Blit be. The young couple are very fond of each other and may perhaps be ruin'd if you cross their inclinations.
Hunks. Then let them be ruin'd. I'll have my daughter to know she shall make no treaties without my consent,
Blitbe. She is of the same mind, that's what she wants now.
Hunks. But you say the treaty is already inade: browever I'll make it over again.
Blitbe. Well, Sir, the stronger the better.
Blitbe. I want no trifling in the matter; the subjeet is not of a triling nature. I expect you will give me a direct answer one way or the other.
Hunks. If that's what you desire, I can tell you at once, I bave too very strong objections against the proposal; one is, I dislike your son; and the other is, I haye de:ermined upon another match for my daughter. Blibe. Why do you
my son, pray? Hunks. Oh, he's like the rest of mankind, running on in this extravagant way of living. My estate was earned too hard to be trifled away in such a manner.
Blitbe. Extravagant! I'm sure he's very far from deserving that character. 'Tis true, he appears gerteel and fashionable among people, but he's in good business and above board, and that's sufficient for any man.
Hunks, 'Tis fashionable I suppose to powder and curl: at the barber's an hour or two, before he visits his mistress; to pay 'six pence or eight pence for brushing his boats; to drink a glass of wine at every tavern; to dine upon fowls drest in the richest manner; and he must dirty two or three ruffled shirts in the journey. This is your geuteul fashionable way is it?
Blitbe. Indeed, Sir, it is a matter of importance to appear decently at such a time, if ever. Would you have him go as you used to do, upon the same business, dressid in a long ill shapen coat, a greasy pair of breeches, and a flap'd hat; with your oats in one side of your saddle bags, and your dinner in the other? this would make an odd appearance in the present age.
Hunks. A fig for the appearance, so long as I gain'd my point, and sav'd my money, and consequently my credit. The coat you mention is the same I have on ROW. 'Tis not so very long as you would represent it to be-[Measuring the skirts by one leg.] See, it comes. but just below the calf. This is the coat that
father was married in, and I after him. It has been in the fashion five times since it was new, and never was al. tered, and 'tis a pretty good coat yet.
Blitbe. Youv'e a wonderful faculty of saving your money and credit, and keeping in the fashion at the same time. I suppose you mean by saving your credit, that money and credit are inseparably connected..
Hunks. Yes, that they are; he that has one, need not fear the loss of the other. For this reason, I can't consent to your son's proposat; he's too much of a spendo thrift to merit my approbation.
Blitbe. If you call him a spendthrift for his generosity; I desire he may never merit your approbation. A reputation that's gained by saving money in the manner you have mentioned, is at best but a despicable character.
Hunks. Do you mean to call my character despicable?:
Blitbe. We won't quarrel about the name, since you are so well contented with the thing.
Hunks. You're welcome to your opinion; I would not give a fiddle stick's end for your good or ill will; my ideas of reputation are entirely different from your's, or your son's, which are just the same ; for I find you justify him in all his conduct. But as I have determin. ed
upon another match for my daughter, I shan't trouble myself about his behavior.
Blitbe. But perhaps your proposed match will be equally disagreeable.
Hunks. No, I've no apprehension of that. He's a person of a fine genius and an excellent character,
Blitbe. Sir, I desire to know who this person is, that has such a genius and character, and is so agreeable to your taste.
Hunks. 'Tis my young cousin Griffin. He's heir to a great estate you know. He discovered a surprising genius almost as soon as he was born. When he was a very child, he made him a box, with one small hole in it, into which he could just crowd his money, and could not get it out again without breaking his box, by which means he made a continual addition till be filled it, and
Blitbe. Enough! enough! I've a sufficient' idea of his character, without hearing another word. But are you sure you
shail obtain this excellent match for your daughter?
Hunds. Oh, I'm certain on't, I assure you, and my utmost wishes are gratified with the prospect. He has a large patrimony lying between two excellent farms of mine; which are at least worth two thousand pounds. These l've given to my daughter : and have ordered her uncle to take the deeds into his own hands, and deliver them to her on the day of her marriage.
Blitbe. Then it seems you've almost accomplished the busivess. But have you got the consent of the young gentleman in the affair.
Hunks. His consent! what need I care about his consent, so long as Iv'e his father's, that's sufficient: for my purpose.
Blitbe. Then you intend to force the young coupleto marry, if they are unwilling?
Hunks. Those two thoutand pounds will soon give them a disposition, I'll warrant you.
Blitbe. Your schemes, I confess, are artfully concert. ed, but I must tell you, for your mortification, that the young gentleman is already married.
Hunks. What do you say! already married ? it can't: be! I don't believe a syllable on't!
Blitbe. Every syllable is true! whether you belive it or not. I received a letter this day from his father; if you won't believe me, you may readit, ( gives bim tbe letter) There's the account in the postcript. ( Point to it.)
Munks, reads. [bad almost forgot to tell you, that last Thursday my son was married to Miss Clary Brentford, E.
that all parties are very bappy in the connection.] Confusion! [ibrows down tbe letter.] What does this mean! married to Clary Brentford ! this is exactly one of cousin Tom's villainous tricks. He promised me that his son should marry my daughter upon condition that I would give her those two farms; but I can't imagine from what stupid motives he has altered his mind.
Blitbe. Disappointment is the common lot of all men, even our surest expectations are subject to misfortune.
Hunks. Disappointment! this comes from a quarter from which I least expected one. But there's the deeds, I'll take care to secure them again ; 'tis a good hit that I did not give them to the young rogue beforehand.
Blithe. That was well thought of; you keep a good look out, I see, though you cannot avoid some disappointments. I see nothing in the way now, to hinder my son's proceeding; you will easily grant your consent, now you're cut off from your former expectations.
Hunks. I can't see into this crooked affair-I'm heartily vex'd at it. What could induce that old villain to de ceive me in this manner: I fear this was some scheme of my daughter's to prevent the effect of my design. If this is her plan, if she sets so light upon two thousand pounds, she shalt soon know what it is to want it, I'll promise her.
Blit be. If you had bestowed your gift, without crossing her inclination, she would have accepted it very thankfully.
Hunks. O, I don't doubt it in the least; that would have been a pretty story indeed! but since she insists upon gratifying a foolish fancy, she may follow her own inclination, and take the consequences of it: I'll keep the favors I meant to bestow on her, for those that know how to prize them, and that merit them by a becoming
Blitbe. But you won't reject her, destitute of a patrimony and a father's blessing ? Hunks. Not one farthing shall she ever receive from
Your son may take her, but her person is barely all that I'll give him; he has seduced her to disobey her father, and he shall feel the effects of it.
Blitbe, You're some ivhat ruffled, I perceive, but I