She sing-a de song vat you call Old Toweler, and de Beautiful Sarvent, like a de nightingale. And she vas ver.good vife too, for English vife;-roasta de beef, boila de pudding, scold in de kitchen-sometimes in de parlor;-she vas vant to be vat you call de gray horse; but by gar I did choose to be de gray horse myself. Von day, sair, I must tell you, I did see in de market-place, looking at de lobster, de salmon, de soal, a gentilhomme vid his coat button up to his shin-vat you call de genteel shabby-but for all dat he was ver shanté, but his hair vas a leetel out of his hat. So, sair, it shock a me ver much to see de gentilhomme smack a de lip at de good ting in de market, and purchase noting. Maybe, tink I, de gentilhomme cash be all at de bank, or he vould not stand so long vid his hand in his pocket, and purchase noting, for he vas very shanté, but his hair vas a leetel out of his hat. So, sair, I did ask a de gentilhomme to dine vid me. But ven I did bring him to my lodgement, madame Roget did cry out, Sacre Dieu! vat lousy beggar you get dere?' You vill tink, sair, dis affront a me much, to call a de gentilhomme de lousy beggar; for he vas very shanté, but his hair vas a leetel out of his hat. Now, sair, as de gentilhomme coat vas rader shabby, I take him to my vardrobe, and I say, help a yourself. So he did pull off his coat, and by gar, sair, dere vas noting but de skin-vat you call de bare back, for he had no shirt. I vas ver much shock at dis, for he vas very shanté, but his hair vas a leetel out of his hat. Vell, sair, ven he vas dress in my shirt and my coat, he did look ver vell-ver vell indeed-and madame Roget no tink him lousy beggar at all. Den, sair, he had ver good appetite-vat you call stomach-but de vine did make him ver much indispose vid de vertigo in de head, dat by gar he could not stand, and he vas ver much for sick; so put him in my best bed. Now, sair, in de morning, eleven o'clock did come-twelve o'clock did come-but he no come-so I did go up to his chambre, and ven F open de door, by gar! dere did come out ver bad smell-vat you call stink à la diable. And, sair, I did see by de bedside my silver tabatier, and my gold vatch,

vorth fifty guinea;-and I did say, ah! ah! sair, vat you do vid my vatch and my tabatier ? you pick a my pocket:' and de gentilhomme did reply, de vatch vas to know de hour, and de tabac to snuff avay de bad smell!' So I vas satisfy, for he vas very shanté, but his hair vas a leetel out of his hat. Now, sir, de gentilhomme vas ver much skill in de opera ballet; so he undertake to teach madame Roget de grand rigadoon, vich vas more dan I could expect, for he teach a my vife for noting. Now, sair, von day I did send my violin-for I vas teach a de music den-to de house of de laty to accompany de grand piano; but ven I did open de case, dere vas no stick-fiddle. So I did run home quite out of de breath, and I did say to my boy,' by gar! I vill vip horse youvere is my stick-fiddle? and vere is mine vife?' He did say, she vas up a de stair vid de gentilhomme.' Ah! ah! tink I, den he vas teach her de grand rigadoon vid my stick-fiddle. So I did go up softly for fear of disturb de instruction; but ven I did open de door, ma foi! I did see de gentilhomme vid his arm round de neck of my vife. As you may tink, sair, I vas ver much enrage at dis. Ah! ah! madame Roget,' said I, • vat you do vid a gentilhomme?' And she say, 'hold a your tongue de gentilhomme teach a me de grand rigadoon.' So you may tink, sair, I vas ver much oblige to de gentilhomme, for he vas skill in de opera ballet, and teach a my vife for noting-vich vas more dan I could expect, for he vas very shanté, but his hair vas a leetel out of his hat. So, sair, ven I did rise out of my bed de next morning, I did inquire for my vife, and I could no find her: so I did say to de fille de chambre, 'vere is madame Roget?' and she did make for answer, she vas gone out vid de gentilhomme.' Ah! ah! tink I to myself, teach a de grand rigadoon so soon in de morning! But, sair, ven I did look a my bureau, by gar it vas open, and all my-vat you call money-de note-de gold-de silver -vas all gone. So, sair, de gentilhomme eat a my beef -drink a my vine-take a my coat, my shirt, my tabatier, and my vatch-he dirty my best bed-steal a my monies-and by gar, sair, to make a de conclusion, he

6

did steal a my vife too.

But for all dat, he vas very shanté, but his hair vas a leetel out of his hat."

MILLWOOD AS SHE SHOULD BE.

As we were taking coffee, which Roget prepared after the French fashion, and indeed most excellent it was, the waiter entered with a manuscript play-bill, which ran literally as follows:

THEATRE.

MR. BENJAMIN BOULTER'S BARN.

For the Benefit of Mrs. and Master Doodle. For Tragedy, Comedy, History, Pastoral, Pastoral-comical, Historical-pastoral, Scene undividable, or Poem unlimited, these are your only men.

This evening will be performed in a most superb manner, the Tragedy of

GEORGE BARNWELL,

OR,

THE LONDON 'PRENTICE.

With all the Scenery, Machinery, and Dresses necessary for this splendid Piece.

George Barnwell and Blunt
Thoroughgood and the Uncle
Trueman and Lucy

Mr. Cockney.

Mr. Hazard.

Master Doodle.

Who solicits the indulgence of her friends this evening, on account of the delay which will unavoidably take place after the 3d Act, owing to her attendance at the door, to receive the half price.

End of the Play,

Rolla's Address to the Peruvians by Mr. Cockney. To which will be added a humorous and truly laughable Farce, called

THE FREEDOM OF ELECTION.

Sir John Barleycorn, the successful candi

date.

Mr. Cockney.

Billy Bribewell, his Friend.

Frank Freedrink, who brought in Sir

Mr. Hazard.

Mast. Doodle.

John Mrs. Doublechalk, the patriotic Landlady Mrs. Doodle; Who will speak an Epilogue seated on a beer barrel. Pit, One Shilling.-Gallery, Sixpence.

The barn door will be open for the better sort of people at six o'clock, but those who go to the gallery must come through the pig-sty.

A Musician wanted. A Blind Fiddler won't do.

This curious bill of fare produced an irresistible effect, and completely routed the devil blue, as monsieur would have expressed it.

"A play and farce performed by four people must be worth seeing," said Ann.

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By gar, it is like vat Shaspear say,” observed Roget, von man in his time play many part, his acts being seventy ages."

Stop, my good friend," said I, " you are sixty-three wide in your calculation. Seven ages is the text."

66

Vell, never mind," replied he; "vatever de text be, de sermon is goot. Vat say you, madame Romney? Shall we go to de play trough de pig-sty or de barn door? I confess and profess I have no predilection of de former, but just as you please."

The proposal was instantly agreed to, and a little before seven we entered the barn door, and seated by a small table found the representative of Millwood painted, patched, and curled. "This is hansel," she observed, as we placed three shillings in her hand. Then turning aside, out of delicacy, I suppose, she bedewed them with a copious sprinkling of saliva, and continued, "that's for luck. Would you choose a bill, ma'am?" addressing my wife. "They are only written ones; but my Bobby writes such a beautiful hand, that the quality pefers them."

"We are likely to have a good house to-night," observed the representative of Millwood. "When the gentry comes soon, I always thinks it a good sign; and

we are sure of a great half price.-Some coming to the gallery, I see. Wilhelmina, where are you?-mind the pig-sty, you slut. As I was observing, sir, I always makes great benefits. Civility is a pleasant thing. If some of your vulgar folks stood at the door, the gentry would be disgusted, and as I says, civility costs nothing. You must not expect much from our Barnwell to-night,' -lowering her voice-"he's hard upon sixty. But mum. He's manager, and that accounts for it. Only stay till I comes on. Perhaps I flatter myself, but I never yet saw one who understood the part. There's your delicate Millwoods, and your languishing Millwoods; but what is she? I say, sir, what is she? Why, a common prostitute, and how are we to give the character of such people, but by copying their manner? If you imitate a bird, you must whistle; if a pig, you must grunt. When old Barnwell comes on you'll be laughing and cracking your jokes; but don't, I beg you won't, for he'll speak to you, you may depend upon't, if you do. The night afore last-stand from about the door, you ragged rascals, and let the quality come in.-Four shillings-that's right.-Jack, where are you? Light the front lamps directly. So, as I was saying, sir, the manager, night afore last, made but a clumsy kind of a die in Rolla, and a gentleman in the pit cried 'Encore!' upon which the Peruvian hero popped up his head, and bawled out, If you can't behave like a gentleman, you'd better leave the place;' then stretched himself out again, and died like a man."

JOANNA'S PROPHECY.

ARGUMENT.

THE prophecy of the destruction of Bath, on Good Friday, which afforded so memorable an instance of the credulity of the nineteenth century, cannot be forgotten. With the usual fate of reports, which " gather as they roll," the terrific denunciation had, when it reached Reading, been extended to Bristol and London,