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death. He tells us soon after, through a arose very much from the circumstances small mistake of sorrow for rage, that dur- of my own life, who am a soldier, and exing the whole action he was so very sorry, pect every day to receive orders, which that he thinks he could have attacked half a will oblige me to leave behind me a wife score of the fiercest Mohocks in the excess that is very dear to me, and that very deof his grief. I cannot but look upon it as servedly. She is at present, I am sure, no an unhappy accident, that a man who is so way below your Asteria for conjugal affecbloody-minded in his affliction was diverted tion: but I see the behaviour of some wofrom this fit of outrageous melancholy. men so little suited to the circumstances The valour of this gentleman in his distress wherein my wife and I shall soon be, that brings to one's memory the Knight of the it is with a reluctance, I never knew besorrowful Countenance, who lays about him fore, I am going to my duty. What puts at such an unmerciful rate in an old ro-me to present pain is the example of a
I shall readily grant him that his young lady, whose story you shall have as soul, as he himself says, would have made well as I can give it you. • Hortensius, an a very ridiculous figure, had it quitted the officer of good rank in his majesty's serbody, and descended to the poetical shades, vice, happened, in a certain part of Engin such an encounter.
land, to be brought to a country gentleman's • As to his conceit of tacking a tragic head house, where he was received with that with a comic tail, in order to refresh the more than ordinary welcome with which audience, it is such a piece of jargon, that men of domestic lives entertain such few I do not know what to make of it.
soldiers whom a military life, from the va• The elegant writer makes a very sud- riety of adventures, has not rendered overden transition from the playhouse to the bearing, but humane, easy, and agreeable. church, and from thence to the gallows. Hortensius staid here some time, and had
* As for what relates to the church, he is easy access at all hours, as well as unavoidof opinion that these epiloguies have given able conversation, at some parts of the day, occasion to those merry jigs from the organ- with the beautiful Sylvana, the gentleman's loft, which have dissipated those good daughter. People who live in cities are thoughts and dispositions he has found in wonderfully struck with every little counhimself, and the rest of the pew, upon the try abode they see when they take the air; singing of two staves culled out by the judi- and it is natural to fancy they could live in cious and diligent clerk.
every neat cottage (by which they pass) • He fetches his next thought from Ty-much happier than in their present cirburn: and seems very apprehensive lest cumstances. The turbulent way of life there should happen any innovations in the which Hortensius was used to, made him tragedies of his friend Paul Lorrain.
reflect with much satisfaction on all the • In the mean time, sir, this gloomy advantages of a sweet retreat one day; and, writer, who is so mightily scandalized at a among the rest, you will think it not imgay epilogue after a serious play, speaking probable it might enter into his thought, of the fate of those unhappy wretches who that such a woman as Sylvana would conare condemned to suffer an ignominious summate the happiness. The world is so death by the justice of our laws, endeavours debauched with mcan considerations, that to make the reader merry on so improper Hortensius knew it would be received as an an occasion, by those poor burlesque ex- act of generosity, if he asked for a woman pressions of tragical dramas and monthly of the highest merit, without further ques. performances. I am, sir, with great re- tions, of a parent who had nothing to add spect, your most obedient, most humble to her personal qualifications. The wedservant,
PHILOMEDES.' ding was celebrated at her father's house. X.
When that was over, the generous husband did not proportion his provision for
her to the circumstances of her fortune, No. 342.] Wednesday, April 2, 1712. but considered his wife as his darling, his
pride, and his vanity; or, rather, that it Justitiæ partes sunt non violare homines: verecun. diæ, non offendere.
was in the woman he had chosen that a Justice consists in doing no injury to men: decency, with an excuse, and therefore adorned her
man of sense could show pride or vanity in giving them no offence. life in general, but more especially to be that he did his very utmost in this; that it As regard to decency is a great rule of with rich habits and valuable jewels. He
did not, however, omit to admonish her, consulted by the female world, I cannot overlook the following letter, which de- but to a woman he had so much pleasure
was an ostentation he could not be guilty of scribes an egregious offender.
in, desiring her to consider it as such; and •Mr. SPECTATOR, I was this day look- begged of her also to take these matters ing over your papers, and reading, in that rightly, and believe the gems, the gowns, of December the 6th, with great delight, the laces, would still become her better, if the amiable grief of Asteria for the absence her air and behaviour was such, that it of her husband; it threw me into a great might appear she dressed thus rather in deal of reflection. I cannot say but this compliance to his humour that way, than
out of any value she herself had for the tri- j addition to what is truly coinmendable, fies. To this lesson, too hard for a woman, where can this end, but as it frequently Hortensius added, that she must be sure to does, in their placing all their industry, stay with her friends in the country till his pleasure, and ambition, on things which return. As soon as Hortensius departed, will naturally make the gratifications of Sylvana saw in her looking-glass, that the life last, at best, no longer than youth and love he conceived for her was wholly owing good fortune? When we consider the least to the accident of seeing her; and she was ill consequence, it can be no less than lookconvinced it was only her misfortune the ing on their own condition, as years adrest of mankind had not beheld her, or men vance, with a disrelish of life, and falling of much greater quality and merit had con- | into contempt of their own persons, or being tended for one so genteel, though bred in the derision of others: But when they conobscurity; so very witty, though never ac- sider themselves as they ought, no other quainted with court or town. She there than an additional part of the species (for fore resolved not to hide so much excel- their own happiness and comfort, as well lence from the world; but, without any as that of those for whom they were born,) regard to the absence of the most generous their ambition to excel will be directed acman alive, she is now the gayest lady about cordingly; and they will in no part of their this town, and has shut out the thoughts of lives want opportunities of being shining her husband, by a constant retinue of the ornaments to their fathers, husbands, brovainest young fellows this age has pro-thers, or children.
T. duced; to entertain whom, she squanders away all Hortensius is able to supply her with, though that supply is purchased with No. 343.] Thursday, April 3, 1712. no less difficulty than the hazard of his
Errat, et illinc
Huc venit, hinc illuc, et quoslibet occupat artus Now, Mr. Spectator, would it not be a
Spiritus; eque feris humana in corpora transit, work becoming your office, to treat this Inque feras noster
Ovid. Met. Lib. xv. 165. criminal as she deserves? You should give it the severest reflections you can.
-All things are but alter'd; nothing dies;
And here and there the unbody'd spirit flies, should tell women, that they are more ac
By time, or force, or sickness, dispossess'd, countable for behaviour in absence, than And lodges, where it lights, in man or beast. after death. The dead are not dishonoured
Dryden, by their levities; the living may return, and WILL HONEYCOMB, who loves to show be laughed at by empty fops, who will not upon occasion all the little learning he has fail to turn into ridicule the good man, who picked up, told us yesterday at the club, is so unseasonable as to be still alive, and that he thought there might be a great come and spoil good company. I am, sir, deal said for the transmigration of souls; your most obedient humble servant.' and that the eastern parts of the world be
lieved in that doctrine to this day. “Sir All strictness of behaviour is so unmerci- Paul Rycaut,' says he, 'gives us an account fully laughed at in our age, that the other of several well-disposed Mahometans that much worse extreme is the more common purchase the freedom of any little bird they folly. But let any woman consider, which see confined to a cage, and think they merit of the two offences a husband would the as much by it as we should do here by ranmore easily forgive, that of being less en- soming any of our countrymen from their tertaining than she could to please compa- captivity at Algiers. You must know,' says ny, or raising the desires of the whole room Will, the reason is, because they consider to his disadvantage; and she will easily be every animal as a brother or sister in disable to form her conduct. We have indeed guise; and therefore think themselves oblicarried women's characters too much into ged to extend their charity to them, though public life, and you shall see them now-a- under such mean circumstances. They'll days affect a sort of fame: but I cannot help tell you,' says Will, “that the soul of a man, venturing to disoblige them for their ser- when he dies, immediately passes into the vice, by telling them, that the utmost of a body of another man, or of some brute, woman's character is contained in domestic which he resembled in his humour, or his life; she is blameable or praise worthy ac- fortune, when he was one of us.' cording as her carriage affects the house of As I was wondering what this profusion her father or her husband. All she has to of learning would end in, Will told us, that do in this world, is contained within the Jack Freelove, who was a fellow of whim, duties of a daughter, a sister, a wife, and a made love to one of those ladies who throw mother. All these may be well performed, away all their fondness on parrots, monkeys, though a lady should not be the very finest and lap-dogs. Upon going to pay her a visit woman at an opera or an assembly. They one morning, he writ a very pretty epistle are likewise consistent with a 'moderate upon this hint. Jack,' says he, 'was conshare of wit, a plain dress, and a modest ducted into the parlour, where he diverted air. But when the very brains of the sex himself for some time with her favourite are turned, and they place their ambition monkey, which was chained in one of the on circumstances, wherein to excel is no windows; till at length observing a pen and
ink lie by him, he writ the following letter | cessful in two or three chases, he gave me to his mistress in the person of the monkey, such a confounded gripe in his anger that I and upon her not coming down so soon as died of it.' he expected, left it in the window, and • In my next transmigration, I was again went about his business.
set upon two legs, and became an Indian • The lady soon after coming into the tax-gatherer; but having been guilty of parlour and seeing her monkey look upon great extravagances, and being married to a paper with great earnestness, took it up, an expensive jade of a wife, I ran so cursedly and to this day is in some doubt,' says Will, in debt, that I durst not show my head. I • whether it was written by Jack or the could no sooner step out of my house but I monkey.'
was arrested by somebody or other that lay
in wait for me. As I ventured abroad one MADAM,- Not having the gift of speech, night in the dusk of the evening, I was taken I have a long time waited in vain for an op- up and hurried into a dungeon, where I died portunity of making myself known to you; a few months after. and having at present the convenience of • My soul then entered into a flying-fish, pen, ink, and paper, by me, I gladly take and in that state led a most melancholy life the occasion of giving you my history in for the space of six years. Several fishes writing, which I could not do' by word of of prey pursued me when I was in the mouth. You must know, madam, that water; and if I betook myself to my wings, about a thousand years ago I was an In- it was ten to one but I had a flock of birds dian brachman, and versed in all those aiming at me. As I was one day flying mysterious secrets which your European amidst a fleet of English ships, I observed philosopher, called Pythagoras, is said to a huge sea-gull whetting his bill, and hohave learned from our fraternity. I had so vering just over my head; upon my dipping ingratiated myself, by my great skill in the into the water to avoid him, I fell into the occult sciences, with a demon whom I used mouth of a monstrous shark, that swallowed to converse with, that he promised to grant me down in an instant. me whatever I should ask of him. I de- •I was some years afterwards, to my sired that my soul might never pass into great surprise, an eminent banker in Lomthe body of a brute creature; but this, he bard-street; and, remembering how I had told me, was not in his power to grant me. formerly suffered for want of money, beI then begged, that, into whatever creature came so very sordid and avaricious, that I should chance to transmigrate, I should the whole town cried shame of me. I was still retain my memory, and be conscious a miserable little old fellow to look upon; that I was the same person who lived in for I had in a manner starved myself, and different animals. This, he told me, was was nothing but skin and bone when I died. in his power, and accordingly promised, on I was afterwards very much troubled the word of a demon, that he would grant and amazed to find myself dwindled into an me what I desired. From that time forth, emmet. I was heartily concerned to make I lived so unblameably, that I was made so insignificant a figure, and did not know president of a college of brachmans, an but some time or other I might be reduced office which I discharged with great inte to a mite, if I did not mend my manners. I grity until the day of my death.
therefore applied myself with great dili* I was then shuffled into another man gence to the offices that were allotted to body, and acted my part so well in it, that me, and was generally looked upon as the I became first minister to a prince who notablest ant in the whole mole-hill. I was reigned upon the banks of the Ganges. I at last picked up as I was groaning under here lived in great honour for several years, a burden, by an unlucky cock-sparrow, but by degrees lost all the innocence of the that lived in the neighbourhood, and had brachman, being obliged to rifle and op- before made great depredations upon our press the people to enrich my sovereign; commonwealth. till at length I became so odious, that my “I then bettered my condition a little, and master, to recover his credit with his sub- lived a whole summer in the shape of a jects, shot me through the heart with an bee; but being tired with the painful and arrow, as I was one day addressing myself penurious life I had undergone in my two to him at the head of his army.
last transmigrations, I fell into the other • Upon my next remove, I found myself extreme, and turned drone. As I one day in the woods under the shape of a jackal, headed a party to plunder a hive, we were and soon listed myself in the service of a received so warmly by the swarm which lion. I used to yelp near his den about defended it, that we were most of us left midnight, which was his time of rousing dead upon the spot. and seeking after prey. He always fol- I might tell you of many other transmilowed me in the rear, and when I had run grations which I went through: how I was down a fat buck, a wild goat, or a hare, a town-rake, and afterwards did penance after he had feasted very plentifully upon in a bay gelding for ten years; as also how it himself, would now and then throw me a I was a tailor, a shrimp, and a tom-tit. In bone that was but half-picked, for my en- the last of these my shapes, I was shot in couragement; but, upon my being unsuc- the Christmas holidays by a young jacka
napes, who would needs try his new gun in his way, and withal so very merry during upon me.
the whole entertainment, that he insensiBut I shall pass over these and several bly betrayed me to continue his competitor, other stages of life, to remind you of the which in a little time concluded in a comyoung beau who made love to you about six plete victory over my rival; after which, years since. You may remember, madam, by way of insult, I ate a considerable prohow he masked, and danced, and sung, portion beyond what the spectators thought and played a thousand tricks to gain you; me obliged in honour to do. The effect, and how he was at last carried off by a cold however, of this engagement, has made me that he got under your window one night in resolve never to eat more for renown; and a serenade. I was that unfortunate young I have, pursuant to this resolution, comfellow to whom you were then so cruel. pounded three wagers I had depending on Not long after my shifting that unlucky the strength of my stomach, which hapbody, I found myself upon a hill in Ethio-pened very luckily, because it had been pia, where I lived in my present grotesque stipulated in our articles either to play or shape, till I was caught by a servant of the pay. How a man of common sense could English factory, and sent over into Great be thus engaged is hard to determine; but Britain. I need not inform you how I came the occasion of this is, to desire you to ininto your hands. You see, madam, this is form several gluttons of my acquaintance, not the first time that you have had me in who look on me with envy, that they had a chain: I am, however, very happy in this best moderate their ambition in time, lest my captivity, as you often bestow on me infamy or death attend their success. I those kisses and caresses which I would forgot to tell you, sir, with what unspeakhave given the world for when I was a man. able pleasure I received the acclamations I hope this discovery of my person will not and applause of the whole board, when I tend to my disadvantage, but that you will had almost eat my antagonist into convulstill continue your accustomed favours to sions. It was then that I returned his mirth your most devoted humble servant, upon him with such success, as he was
• PUGG,' hardly able to swallow, though prompted
by a desire of fame, and a passionate fondP.S. I would advise your little shock- ness for distinction." I had not endeavoured dog to keep out of my way; for as I look to excel so far, had not the company been upon him to be the most formidable of my so loud in their approbation of my victory. rivals, I may chance one time or other to I don't question but the same thirst after give him such a snap as he won't like.' glory has often caused a man to drink quarts
without taking breath, and prompted men
to many other as difficult enterprises : No. 344.] Friday, April 4, 1712.
which, if otherwise pursued, might turn
very much to a man's advantage. This In solo vivendi causa palato est.
ambition of mine was indeed extravagantly Juv. Sat. xi. 11.
pursued; however, I cannot help observSuch whose sole bliss is eating: who can give
you hardly ever see a man comBut that one brutal reason why they live.
mended for a good stomach, but he imme
diately falls to eating more, (though he had MR. Spectator,-I think it has not before dined,) as well to confirm the person yet fallen into your way to discourse on that commended him in his good opinion of little ambition, or the many whimsical ways him, as to convince any other at the table, men fall into to distinguish themselves who may have been unattentive enough not among their acquaintance. Such observa- to have done justice to his character. Iam, tions, well pursued, would make a pretty sir, your humble servant, history of low life. I myself am got into a
• EPICURE MAMMON.' great reputation, which arose (as most extraordinary occurrences in a man's life seem MR. SPECTATOR,- I have wrote to you to do,) from a mere accident. I was some three or four times, to desire you would days ago, unfortunately engaged among a take notice of an impertinent custom the set of gentlemen, who esteem a man accord-women, the fine women, have lately fallen ing to the quantity of food he throws down into, of taking snuff
. This silly trick is atat a meal." Now I, who am ever for dis-tended with such a coquette air in some tinguishing myself according to the notions ladies, and such a sedate masculine one in of superiority which the rest of the com- others, that I cannot tell which most to pany entertain, ate so immoderately, for complain of: but they are to me equally their applause, as had like to have cost me disagreeable. Mrs. Santer is so impatient my life. Wliat added to my misfortune was, of being without it, that she takes it as that having naturally a good stomach, and often as she does salt at meals: and as she having lived soberly for some time, my affects a wonderful ease and negligence in body was as well prepared for this conten- all her manner, an upper lip mixed with tion as if it had been by appointment. I snuff and the sauce, is what is presented to had quickly vanquished every glutton in the observation of all who have the honour company but one who was such a prodigy I to eat with her. The pretty creature, her VOL. II.
niece, does all she can to be as disagreeable book, which is filled with Adam's account as her aunt; and if she is not as offensive to of his passion and esteem for Eve, would the eye, she is quite as much to the ear, have been improper for her hearing, and and makes up all she wants in a confident has therefore devised very just and beautiair, by a nauseous rattle of the nose, when ful reasons for her retiring: the snuff is delivered, and the fingers make the stops and closes on the nostrils. This,
So spake our sire, and by his countenance seemd
Ent'ring on studious thoughts abtruse; which Eve perhaps, is not a very courtly image in Perceiving, where she sat retir'd in sight, speaking of ladies; that is very true: but With lowliness majestic from her seat, where arises the offence? Is it in those who
And grace that won who saw to wish her stay,
Rose; and went forth among her fruits and flowers, commit, or those who observe it? As for
To visit how they prosper'd, bud and bloom, my part, I have been so extremely dis- Her nursery: they at her coming sprung, gusted with this filthy physic hanging on
And, touch'd by her fair tendance, gladlier grew.
Yet went she not, as not with such discourse, the lip, that the most agreeable conversa- Delighted, or not capable her ear tion, or person, has not been able to make Of what was high: such pleasure she reserv'd, up for it. As to those who take it for no
Adam relating, she sole auditress;
Her husband the relator she prefer'd other end but to give themselves occasion Before the angel, and of him to ask for pretty action, or to fill up little inter- Chose rather: he, she knew, would intermix vals of discourse, I can bear with them;
Grateful digressions, and solve high dispute
With conjugal caresses; from his lip but then they must not use it when another Not words alone pleas'd her. O, when meet now is speaking, who ought to be heard with too Such pairs, in love and mutual honour join'di much respect, to admit of offering at that time from hand to hand the snuff-bux, But The angel's returning a doubtful answer Flavilla is so far taken with her behaviour to Adam's inquiries, was not only proper in this kind, that she pulls out her box for the moral reason which the poet assigns, (which is indeed full of good Brazil,) in the but because it would have been highly middle of the sermon; and, to show she has absurd to have given the sanction of an the audacity of a well-bred woman, she archangel to any particular system of philooffers it to the men as well as to the women sophy. The chief points in the Ptolemaic who sit near her: but since by this time all and Copernican hypotheses are described the world knows she has a fine hand, I am with great conciseness and perspicuity, and in hopes she may give herself no further at the same time dressed in very pleasing trouble in this matter. On Sunday was and poetical images. sevennight, when they came about for the Adam, to detain the angel, enters afteroffering, she gave her charity with a very wards upon his own history, and relates to good air, but at the same time asked the him the circumstances in which he found church-warden if he would take a pinch. himself upon his creation; as also his conPray, sir, think of these things in time, and versation with_his Maker, and his first you will oblige, your humble servant, meeting with Eve. There is no part of T.
the poem more apt to raise the attention of the reader than this discourse of our great
ancestor; as nothing can be more surprising No. 345.] Saturday, April 5, 1712. and delightful to us, than to hear the senti
ments that arose in the first man, while he Sanctius his animal, mentisque capacius altæ was yet new and fresh from the hands of his Deerat adhuc, et quod dominari in cætera posset,
Creator. The poet has interwoven every Natus homo est.
Ovid. Met. Lib. i. 76. A creature of a more exalted kind
thing which is delivered upon this subject Was wanting yet, and then was man design'd: in holy writ with so many beautiful imagi Conscious of thought, of more capacious breast, nations of his own, that nothing can be con For empire form’d, and fit to rule the rest.–Dryden.
ceived more just and more natural than this The accounts which Raphael gives of whole episode. As our author knew this sub the battle of angels, and the creation of the ject could not but be agreeable to his reader world, have in them those qualifications he would not throw it into the relation of which
the critics judge requisite to an epi- the six days' work, but reserved it for a sode. They are nearly related to the prin- distinct episode, that he might have an opcipal action, and have a just connexion with portunity of expatiating upon it more at the fable.
large. Before I enter upon this part of the The eighth book opens with a beautiful poem, I cannot but take notice of two shindescription of the impression which this ing passages in the dialogue between Adam discourse of the archangel made on our and the angel. The first is that wherein first parents. Adam afterwards, by a very our ancestor gives an account of the pleanatural curiosity, inquires concerning the sure he took in conversing with him, which motions of those celestial bodies which contains a very noble moral. make the most glorious appearance among the six days' work. The poet here, with
For while I sit with thee, I seem in heaven,
And sweeter thy discourse is to my ear a great deal of art, represents Eve as with- Than fruits of palm-trees (pleasantest to thirst drawing from this part of their conversa- And hunger both, froin labour) at the hour tion, to amusements more suitable to her
Of sweet repast; they satiate and soon fill, sex. He well knew that the episode in this
Though pleasant; but thy words, with grace divine