IN

PROLOGUE.

Written by Mr. GARRICK.

Spoken by Mr. FOOTE.

N trifling works of Fancy, wits agree,
That nothing tickles like a fimile:
And fo, by way of tuning you to laughter,
With which, I hope, you'll tickle us hereafter,
From our poetic ftorehouse, we produce
A couple, fpick and fpan for prefent use.
Dramatick writers were, like watchmen, meant
To knock down Vice-few answer the intent;
Both fhould be quick to fee and feize their game;
But both are fometimes blind, and fometimes lames

Can thofe cry fand, while they themselves are reeling?
Can thofe catch thieves, while they themselves are ftealing?
When wanted moft, the watch a nap will take

Are all our comick authors quite awake?

Or, what is worse, by which they ftill come near 'em,
Are not you more than half afleep who hear 'em?

I, your old watchman, here have fix'd my ftand,

On many a vice and folly laid my hand :

'Twas you cried watch! I limp'd at your command.
Let me, like other watchmen, blefs the times,
And take the privilege to nod betimes;

Nor let your frowns now force me on a fright
To cry" Paft feven o'clock, and a cloudy night."
But, with your patience not to be too free,
We'll change the fubject and the fimile.
To chafe a fmuggling crew, who law deride,
We launch a cutter of three guns this tide:
With your affistance, we will make the foe
Sink, or fubmit to CAPTAIN TIMBERTOE.
Ye pirate criticks, fall not foul on me!
If once I fink, I founder in the fea.
In this condition, can I swim to shore?
I'm cork'd, 'tis true; but then I want an oar.

You oft have fav'd my little bark from finking;
1 am no fish, fave me from water-drinking!

THE COZENERS.

ACT I SCENE I.

I.

Enter Mrs. Fleece'em and Flaw.

Mrs. Fleece'em.

NOT a word more! you put me out of all

patience.

Flaw. Well, but, madam Fleece'em, liften, I beg, to a little reafon.

Mrs. Fl. Reafon! had you the least atom about you, you would reft contented with our present agreement.

Flaw. But furely, madam, a change of cir cumftances

Mrs. Fl. Change! And pray, mafter Flaw, how are mine changed for the better? Answer me a few fhort queftions, and deny what I fay, if you can. When I was compelled, by the cruel laws of this country, to go into exile for taking by mistake a small parcel of lace out of a fhop in the Strand, did not I choose Boston for my place of retirement?

Flaw. Granted.

Mrs. Fl. Did not I pafs there, by means of letters from mynheer Van Smuggie of Rotterdam, for a perfon moft honourably and nobly

allied?

Flaw. For aught I know.

Mrs. Fl. Did not I receive a handsome present from that merchant, for promoting the running Dutch teas, and rejecting thofe imported from England?

Flaw. Like enough.

Mrs. Fl. Did not my burning the first pound of Souchong, and my fpeeches at Faneuil Hall, and the Liberty-Tree, against the colonies contributing to discharge a debt to which they owe their existence, procure me the love and esteem of the people?

Flaw. May be fo.

Mrs. Fl. And what, but your letters, could induce me to return to a country where I had been treated fo ill? But fure, you must have forgot your proposals; here they are, and figned by yourself. Let me fee!-[Reads.]" Articles "of Agreement between Philip Flaw, of Tha"vies-Inn, in the city of London, on one part, "and Felicia Fleece'em, late of Bofton, but "now of Pall-Mall."

Flaw. But what occafion

Mrs. Fl. "Imprimis, That the faid Felicia do "take a handsome house, at the weft end of the "town, with fuitable fervants; for the furnish*ing of which the faid Flaw engages to pro"cure her credit."

Flaw. And have not I?

Mrs. Fl. "Secondly, that the faid Flaw fhall "circulate, privately and publicly, in taverns, "coffee-houses, Journals, Chronicles, Morning "and Evening Pofts, and Courants, that the faid "Felicia is a perfon of great addrefs and abili"ties; and that, by means of many powerful "connections, the is able to procure pofts,

"places,

é places, preferments of all conditions and fizes ;

to raife calh for the indigent, and procure "good fecurities for fuch as are wealthy; fuitable "matches for people who want husbands and "wives, and divorces for those who wish to get "rid of them."

Flaw. And have not I performed every tittle? have not my expences in attending plays, operas, mafquerades, and Pantheons, not to mention fubfcription-money to most of the clubs, and coteries, amounted to a moft enornious———

Mrs. Fl. I am near at an end. [Reads.]" That "the faid Flaw thall at all times advise the said "Felicia how far the may go without incurring "the law; for all which he is to receive out of "the neat profits thirty per cent."You fee, Sir! Flaw. I do.

Mrs. Fl. And don't you think that a very ample provifion?

Flaw. But confider, madam, I have facrificed my whole time to your bufinefs, and I don't be lieve the law has procured me

Mrs. Fl. The law! What, a little private agency at the Old Bailey ? 'a wonderful facrifice ! fy, fy, Mr. Flaw!

Flaw. You are the last perfon, Mrs. Fleece'em, that should caft fuch a reflection as that: Unless I mistake, my attendance there was pretty useful to you?

Mrs. Fl. To me !

Flaw. Without my skill and addrefs, your last voyage to America would have been changed to a much shorter trip.

Mrs. Fl. Sir !

Flaw. A tour to Tyburn, in a tim-whisky and two, would have concluded your travels.

A 4

Mrs.