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one of our authors-Bid them enter, and call over their names.

Ding. Walk in, Gentlemen.

Enter Pepper, Plaifter, Rumour, Forge'em, Fibber, Comma, Cauftic, O'Flam, and others.

Ding. Politicians, pro and con, Meffieurs Pepper and Plaifter.

Pep. Plaif. Here.

Marg. Pepper and Plaifter, as both the houses are up, I fhall adjourn your Political Warfare 'till their meeting again.

Pep. Don't you think the public would bear one skirmish more before we close the campaign? I have a trimmer here in my hand.

Plaif. To which I have as tart a retort.

Marg. No, no; enough for the prefent. It is, Plaister, the proper timeing the fubject, that gives fuccefs to our labours. The conductor of a News-paper, like a good cook, fhould always ferve up things in their feafon: who eats oysters in June? Plays and Parliament Houfes are winter provisions.

Pep. Then half the fatire and fat will be loft: Befides, if the great man fhould happen to die, or go out.

Marg. Pfhaw! it will do as well for the great man that comes in. Political papers fhould bear vamping; like fermons, change but the application and text, and they will fuit all perfons and feafons.

Plaif. True enough; but mean time, what can we turn to? for we fhall be quite out of work.

Marg.

Marg. I warrant you, if you an't idle, there's bufinefs enough, the prefs teems with fresh publications-Hiftories, tranflations, voyages

Pep. That take up as much time to read as to make.

Marg. And what with letters from Paris or Spaw, inundations, elopements, difmal effects of thunder and lightning, remarkable causes at country affizes, and with changing the miniftry now and then, you will have employment enough for the Summer.

Plaif. And fo enter upon our old trade in the winter?

Marg. Aye, or for variety, as it must be tirefome to take always one fide; you, Pepper, may go over to adminiftration, and Plaifter will join oppofition. The novelty may perhaps give fresh fpirits to both.

Pep. With all my heart. A bold writer has now no encouragement to fharpen his pen. I have known the day when there was no difficulty in getting a lodging in Newgate; but now, all I can fay, won't procure me a warrant from a Weftminster Juftice.

Marg. You fay right, hard times, mafter Pepper, for perfecution is the very life and foul of our trade; but don't defpair, who knows how foon matters may mend? gentlemen, you may draw back.Read the next.

Ding. Criticks-Thomas Comma and Chriftopher Caustic.

Marg. Where are they?

Ding. As you could not find them in constant employment, they are engaged by the great, to do the articles in the Monthly Re

views.

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Marg.

Marg. I thought they were done by Doctor Doubtful, the Deift.

Ding. Formerly, but now he deals in manufcript fermons, writes religious effays for one of the Journals.

Marg. Then he will foon fink. I forefaw what would come of his dramming. Go on. Ding. Colloctors of paragraphs, Roger Rumour, and Phelim O'Flam.,

Rum. Flam. Here.

Ding. Fibber and Forge'em, compofers and makers of ditto.

Fib. Forg. Here.

Marg. Well, Rumour, what have you brought for the prefs?

Rum. I have been able to bring you no Pofitives.

Marg. How! no Pofitives?

Rum. Not one. I have a Probability from the court end of the town, and two good Suppofes out of the city.

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Marg. Hand them here-[reads.]

"It is

probable, that if the King of Prussia should join the Czarina, France will fend a fleet into "the Mediterranean, which, by giving umbrage to the Maritime powers, will involve Spain by its Family Compact. To which, if "Auftria fhould refufe to accede, there may be a powerful diverfion in Poland, made conjunctly by Sweden and Denmark. And if "Sardinia and Sicily abide by the treaties, the "German Princes can never be neuter; Italy "will become the feat of war, and all Europe "foon fet in a flame."Vaftly well, mafter Rumour, finely confufed, and very alarming. Dingey,

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Dingey, give him a fhilling for this. I hope no other paper has got it?

Rum. Oh fie! did you ever know me guilty of fuch a

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Marg. True, true, now let us fee your Suppofes-[Reads.] "It is fuppofed if Alderman Mango fhould furrender his gown, he will be "fucceeded by Mr. Deputy Drylips; and if my Lord Mayor fhould continue ill of the gout, it is fuppofed the fwan-hopping will "ceafe for this feafon."-That laft fuppofe is fudged in, why, would you cram thefe upon me for a couple?

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Rum. As diftinct as can be.

Marg. Fye, remember our bargain. You agreed to do the court of Aldermen always for fix-pence.

Rum. What, if a Common Hall fhould be called?

Marg. Oh! then you are to have threepence a motion, I know that, very well: I am fure no gentleman can accufe me of being fneaking. Dingey, give him fix-pence for his Suppofes. Well, Phelim O'Flain, any deaths in your district?

O'Flam. The devil a one.
Marg. How! none?

O'Flam. O yes, a parcel of nobodies, that died worth nothing at all. Fellows that can't pay for a funeral. Upon my conscience, I can't think what becomes of the folks; for my part, I believe all the people who live in town, fall down dead in the country, and then too, fince Doctor Difpatch is gone to the Bath, patients linger fo long.

Marg,

Marg. Indeed!

O'Flam. To be fure they do. Why, I waited at the Jolly Topers, a matter of two days and a half, for the laft breath of Lady Dy Dropfy, for fear fome other collector fhould catch it.

Marg. A long time indeed.

O'Flam. Wasn't it? confidering that she had two confultations befides, devilish tough. Mr. Margin I fhall quit the mortality walk, fo provide yourself as foon as you can.

Marg. I hope not.

O'Flam. Why, what will I do? I am fure the deaths won't keep me alive, you fee I am already ftripp'd to my fhroud; fince November, the fuicide feafon, I have not got falt to my porridge.

Enter Sir Thomas Tradewell.

Sir Thom. Is your name Matthew Margin?

Marg. It is, and what then?

Sir Thom. Then, pray what right had you to kill me in your last Saturday's paper? Marg. Kill you!

Sir Thom. Ay, Sir, here the article is; furely the law has fome punishment for fuch infolent rafcals as you.

Marg. Punishment! and for what? but, after all, what injury have you fuftain'd?

Sir Thom. Infinite. All my agents are come poft out of the country, my houfe is crouded with coufins, to be prefent at the opening my will, and there has been (as it is known fhe has a very good jointure) no lefs than three propofals of marriage already made to my relict.

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Marg.

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