Mrs. Sim. I protest I was afraid that you had suffer'd your late disappointment to lay hold of your spirits. Mrs. Circ. What disappointment, my dear? Col. Mrs. Simper hints at the little mistake made this morning at the Thatch'd-house. Mrs. Circ. That! ridiculous! I could have told you that a fortnight ago, child-all my own doing. Mrs. Sim. How! Sir Luke. Entirely. Mrs. Circ. Oh! I always detested the thoughts of the thing;-they would put me up, let me say what I would, so I was reduced to the necessity of prevailing upon two friends to black-ball me. Mrs. Sim. That, indeed, alters the case. Col. I am vastly happy to hear it your old acquaintance were afraid they should lose you. Mrs. Circ. It is a sign they know but little of me-but come, my good folks, I have prepared a small collation in the next room, will you Enter Jack and Woodford. [Exeunt. Fack. I'll watch sister, to see that nobody comes; now, Woodford, make good use of your time. [Exit Woodford.] There, I have left 'em together; if I had staid, I don't believe they would have open'd their mouths for a month: I never saw such an alteration in a lad since the day I was born. Why, if I had not known him before, I should not have thought he had a word to throw to a dog; but I remember the old proverb; True lovers are shy, I'll take a peep to see how they go on ;-there they are, just in the same posture I left them; she folding her fingers, and he twirling his hat; why they don't even look at each other was there ever such a couple of-stay, stay, now he opens his mouth-pshaw !-lord! there he shuts it again -hush! I hear somebody coming-no-nothing at all: mother is safe I am sure, there is no danger from her-now let us take t'other-peeps at the door] hum!-gadso, matters are mightily mended -there! there! very well-there he lays down the law-now he claps his hand on his heart— vastly pretty, I vow-there he swops with both his knees on the ground-charming and squeezes his hat with both hands, like one of the actors--delightful! she wants him to rise and he won't--prodigious moving indeed! Enter Betty. Betty. So, sir, what are you doing there? Betty. With your eyes glew'd close to the keyhole. Jack. I wanted to speak a word to my sister. Betty. Then why don't you open her door? Jack. I did not know but she might be saying her prayers. Betty. Prayers! a likely story! who says their prayers at this time of the day?-No, no, that won't upon me.-Let me look-very pretty! So, so, I see there's somebody else at his prayers toofine doings! As soon as the company goes, I shall take care to inform madam your mother. Jack. Nay, but Mrs. Betty, you won't be soBetty. Indeed, Mr. John, but I shall—I'll swallow none of your secrets, believe me. Jack. What, perhaps your stomach is overloaded already. Betty. No matter for that, I shall be even with miss for telling master about and concerning my drums. not Jack. Why, Mrs. Betty, surely sister could Betty. When she very well knows that I have not sent cards but twice the whole season. Jack. Lord! what signi Betty. What would she say, if she visited the great families I do? For though I am as I may say but a commoner, no private gentlewoman's gentlewoman, has a more prettier set of acquaintance. Jack. Well, but Betty. My routs indeed!-There is Mrs. Allspice, who lives with lady Cicely Sequence, has six tables every Sunday, besides looers, and braggers; and moreover proposes giving a masquerade, the beginning of June, and I intends being there. Jack. Well, but to talk calmly. Betty. And as miss is so fond of fetching and carrying, you may tell her we are to have a private play among ourselves, as the quality have: the Distrustful Mother, 'tis call'd Pylades, by Mr. Thomas, lord Catastrophe's butler-Hermione, Mrs. Allspice; and I shall do Andromache myself. Jack. A play! lord, Mrs. Betty, will you give me a ticket? Betty. All's one for that-and so you may tell miss that [bell rings] coming, madam, this minute -and that, Mr. John, is the long and the short on't.-bell rings again] lord, I am coming. [Exit. Enter Woodford to Jack. Woodf. What's the matter? Jack. Here, Betty, my mother's fac totum, has just discover'd your haunts; and is gone to lay an information against you--so depend upon it, a search warrant will issue directly. Woodf. Stay but a moment, till I take leave of your sister. Jack. Zooks! I tell you the constables will be here in a trice, so you have not a moment to lose.. Woodf. How unlucky this is! Jack. But I hope you have obtain'd a verdict however. Woodf. No. Woodf. It would not have been decent, to have press'd the judge too soon for a sentence. Jack. Soon! You are a ninny, I tell you so: -here you will suffer judgment to go by default. -You are a pretty practitioner indeed! Woodf. This, you may know, my dear Jack, is an equity case; I have but just fil'd my bill; one must give the parties time to put in an answer. Jack. Time-How you may come off in court I can't tell, but you will turn out but a poor chamber counsel I fear.-Well, come along, perhaps I may be able to procure another hearing before it is-but, lord o'mercy! there is father crossing the hall-should he see us all's over-we have nothing for't but taking shelter with sister. [Exeunt. END OF THE SECOND ACT. A CT III. Sir Luke Limp, Mrs. Circuit, Colonel Secret, and Mrs. Simper, discover'd at a table, with a collation before them. Mrs. Circ. OH! by the bye, sir Luke-take some of these sweetmeats, my dear (to Mrs. Simper)-did not you promise to introduce to me that little agreeable piece of imperfection that belongs to the opera ?Colonel, won't you taste the champaign? Sir Luke. Who, Signior Piano?-Let me assist Mrs. Simper. Why, madam, I made an attempt; but at present-shan't I send you a biscuit ?--he is in the possession of a certain lady, who never suffers him out of her sight for a moment. Mrs. Sim. Oh! the curmudgeon!—I am vastly fond of these custards. Sir Luke. Yes, they have a delicate flavourbut he promised, if possible, to escape for an hour -won't you? [to Mrs. Circuit.] Mrs. Circ. No, it gives me the heart-burn,Then let us leave him a cover. Col. By all means in the world. Mrs. Circ. But there is, likewise, another party, for whom a place ought to be kept. Mrs. Sim. der. Another! Who can that be I won Mrs. Circ. Sir Luke. A small appendix of mine. Mrs. Circ. You need not be jealous sir Luketaste that tart, Mrs. Simper-it is only my husband the Serjeant.-Ha! ha ha!-Betty makes them herself. |