Re-enter GRUEL. Gruel. To thofe eminent, hazardous, and (as I may fay) perilous conflicts, which fo often Mrs. Mech. Get down ftairs, and be hanged to you.-Pufhes him out.]-There he goes, as I live, from the top to the bottom; I hope. I han't done him a mischief. You ar'n't hurt, Mr. Gruel? — No, all's fafe; I hear him going on with his fpeech; an impertinent puppy! 1. Fun. Impertinent, indeed, I wonder all those people don't turn your head, Mrs. Mechlin. Mrs. Mech. Oh, I am pretty well used to 'em But who comes here! Mr. Ifaac, if you will ftep into the next room, I have fomething to communicate that well deferves your attention. [Exit Ifaac Fungus. Enter SIMON. Sim. Doctor Catgut at the foot of the ftairs. Mrs. Mech. The devil he is! What can have brought him at this time of day? Watch, Simon, that nobody comes up whilft he is here.-[Exit. Simon.I hope he has not heard of the pretty prefent we fent him to day. Enter Dr. CATGUT. Dr. Cat. Madam Mechlin, your humble. I have, ma'am, received a couple of compliments from your manfion this morning; one I find from a lodger of your's, the other I prefume from your niece; but for the laft, I rather fuppofe I am indebted to you. Mrs. Mech. Me! indeed, Door, you are widely mistaken; I affure you, fir, fince your bufinefs broke out, I have never fet eyes of her Once. Dr. Cat. Dr. Cat. Then I am falsely informed. Mrs. Mech. But after all you must own it is but what you deferve. I wonder, Doctor you don't leave off these tricks. Dr. Cat. Why what can I do, Mrs. Mechlin? my conftitution requires it. Mrs. Mech. Indeed, I fhould not have thought it. Dr. Cat. Then the dear little devils are fo defperately fond. Mrs. Mech. Without doubt. Dr. Cat. And for frolick, flirtation, diligence, drefs and addrefs Mrs. Mech. To be fure. Dr. Cat. For what you call genuine gallantry, few men, I flatter myfelf, will be found that can match me. Mrs. Mech. Oh, that's a point given up. Dr. Cat. Hark ye, Molly Mechlin ; let me perifh, child, you look divinely to-day. Mrs. Mech. Indeed! Dr. Cat. But that I have two or three affairs on my hands, I should be pofitively tempted to trifle with thee a little. Mrs. Mech. Ay, but Doctor, confider I am not of a trifling age, it would be only lofing your time. Dr. Cat. Ha, fo coy! But a propos, Molly, this lodger of your's; who is he, and what does he want? Mrs. Mech. You have heard of the great Mr. Fungus ! Dr. Cat. Well! Mrs. Mech. Being informed of your skill and abilities, he has fent for you to teach him to fing. Dr. Cat. Dr. Cat. Me teach him to fing! What does the fcoundrel mean to affront me? Mrs. Mech. Affront you! Dr. Cat. Why don't you know, child, that I quitted that paltry profeffion? Mrs. Mech. Not I. Dr. Cat. Oh, intirely renounced it. Mrs. Mech. Then what may you follow at prefent? Dr. Cat. Me!-nothing. I am a poet, my dear. Mrs. Mech. A poet! Dr. Cat. A poet. The Mufes; you know I was always fond of the ladies: I fuppofe you have heard of Shakspeare, and Shadwell, of Tom Brown, and of Milton, and Hudibras ? Mrs. Mech. I have. Dr. Cat. I fhall blaft all their laurels, by gad I have just given the public a tafte, but there's a belly-full for them in my larder at home. Mrs. Mech. Upon my word, you surprise me; but pray, is poetry a trade to be learned? Dr. Cat. Doubtlefs. Capital as I am, I have not acquired it above a couple of years. Mrs. Mech. And could you communicate art to another? your Dr. Cat. To be fure. Why I have here in my pocket, my dear, a whole folio of rhynies, from Ź quite to great A. Let us fee, A. Ay, here it begins, A, afs, pafs, grafs, mafs, lafs, and fo quite thro' the alphabet down to Z. Zounds, grounds, mounds, pounds, hounds. Mrs. Mech. And what do you do with those rhymes? Dr. Cat. Oh, we supply them. Dr. Cat. hat R Dr. Cat. Ay, fill them up, as I will fhew you. Last week, in a ramble to Dulwich, I made these rhimes into a duet for a new comic opera I have on the stocks. Mind, for I look upon the words as a model for that fort of writing. First she.-There to fee the fluggish ass, Mrs. Mech. Very pretty. Dr. Cat. A'n't it. Then he replies, Hear the farmer cry out, zounds! Kill, and give him to the hounds. Then Da Capo, both join in repeating the laft ftanza; and this tacked to a tolerable tune, will run you for a couple of months. You obferve? Mrs. Mech. Clearly. As our gentleman is defirous to learn all kinds of things, I can't help thinking but he will take a fancy to this. Dr. Cat. In that cafe, he may command me, my dear; and I promise you, in a couple of months, he fhall know as much of the matter as I do. Mrs. Mech. At prefent he is a little engaged, but as foon as the honey-moon is over Dr. Cat. Honey-moon! Why is he going to be married? Mrs. Mech. This Evening, I fancy. Dr. Cat. The finest opportunity for an introduction, in nature; I have by me, ma'am Mech lin, of my own compofition, fuch an epithala mium. Mrs. Mech. Thalmium, what's that? Dr. Cat. A kind of an elegy, that we poets compofe at the folemnization of weddings. Mrs. Mech. Oh, ho! Dr. Cat. It is fet to mufick already, for I ftill compofe for myself. Mrs. Mech. You do? Dr. Cat. Yes. What think you now of providing a band, and ferenading the 'fquire to-night? It will be a pretty extempore compliment. Mrs. Mech. The prettieft thought in the world. But I hear Mr. Fungus's bell. You'll excufe me, dear Doctor, you may fuppofe we are bufy. Dr. Cat. No apology then, I'll about it this inftant. Mrs. Mech. As foon as you pleafe; any thing to get you out of the way. [Afide and exit. Dr. Cat. Your obfequious, good madam Mechlin. But notwithstanding all your fine fpeeches, I fhrewdly fufpe&t my bleffed bargain at home was a prefent from you; and what fhall I do with it? -Thefe little embarraffes we men of intrigue are eternally fubject to. There will be no fending it back. She will never let it enter the house. Hey! gad, a lucky thought is come into my head this ferenade is finely contrived Madam Mechlin fhall have her coufin again, for I will return her bye-blow in the body of a double bafs-viol; fo the bawd fhall have a concert as well as the 'fquire. [Exit. End of the Second A&t. |