Z. Fun. A member! Lord help you, brother Ifaac, this man is a whole fenate himself. Why it is the famous orationer that has published the book. I. Fun. What, Mr. Gruel. Z. Fun. The fame. I. Fun. Yes, I have feen his name in the News. Z. Fun. His knowledge is wonderful; he has told me fuch fecrets: why do you know, Ifaac, by what means 'tis we speak? I. Fun. Speak! why we speak with our mouths. I. Fun. No! Z. Fun. No. He fays we fpeak by means of the tongue, the teeth, and the throat; and without them we only fhould bellow. I. Fun. But furely the mouth Z. Fun. The mouth, I tell you, is little or nothing, only juft a cavity for the air to pass through. 1. Fun. Indeed! Z. Fun. That's all; and when the cavity's fmall, little founds will come out; when large, the great ones proceed; obferve now in whiftling and bawling.-whiftles and bawls.]-Do you fee. Oh he is a miraculous man. I. Fun. But of what ufe is all this? Z. Fun. But it's knowledge, a'n't it; and of what fignification is that, you fool! and then as to ufe, why he can make me fpeak in any manner he pleases; as a lawyer, a merchant, a country gentleman; whatever the subject requires. But here he is. Enter Mr. GRUEL. Mr. Gruel, your fervant; I have been holding forth in your praise. Gruel. I make no doubt, Mr. Fungus, but to your declamation, or recitation, (as Quintilian more properly terms it) I fhall be indebted for much future praife, in as much as the reputation of the fcholar does (as I may fay) confer or rather as it were reflect, a marvellous kind of luftre on the fame of the mafter himself. Z. Fun. There, Ifaac! didft ever hear the like? he talks juft as if it were all out of a book; what would you give to be able to utter fuch words? I. Fun. And what should I do with them? them holiday terms would not pafs in my fhop; there's no buying and felling with them. Gruel. Your obfervation is pithy and pertinent; different ftations different idioms demand, polifhed periods accord ill with the mouths of mechanics; but as that tribe is permitted to circulate a bafer kind of coin, for the eafe and convenience of inferior traffic, fo it is indulged with a vernacular or vicious vulgar phrafeology, to carry on their interlocutory commerce; but I doubt, fir, I foar above the region of your comprehenfion? 1. Fun. Why if you would come down a step or two, I can't fay but I fhould understand you the better. Z. Fun. And I too. Gruel. Then to the familiar I fall: if the gentleman has any ambition to fhine at a veftry, a common-hall, or even a convivial club, I can fupply him with ample materials. I. Fun. . I. Fun. No, I have no fuch defire. Gruel. Not to lofe time; your brother here, (for fuch I find the gentleman is) in other respects a common man like yourself 2. Fun. No better. Gruel. Obferve how altered by means of my art: are you prepared in the speech on the great importance of trade? Z. Fun. Pretty well, I believe. Gruel. Let your gefticulations be chaste, and your mufcular movements confiftent. Z. Fun. Never fear-Enter Jenny, and whispers Mrs. Mechlin.]Mrs. Mechlin, you'll ftay? Mrs. Mech. A little bufinefs, I'll return in an inftant. [Exit Mrs. Mechlin. Gruel. A little here to the left, if you pleafe, fir, there you will only catch his profile-that's right-now you will have the full force of his face; one, two, three; now off you go. Z. Fun. When I confider the vast importance of this day's debate; when I revolve the various viciffitudes that this foil has fuftained; when I ponder what our painted progenitors were; and what we, their civilized fucceffors, are; when I reflect, that they fed on crab-apples and chefnuts Gruel. Pignuts, good fir, if you please. Z. Fun. You are right; crab-apples and pignuts; and that we feaft on green-peas, and on custards: when I trace in the recording hiftorical page, that their floods gave them nothing but frogs, and now know we have fifh by land carriage, I am lost in amazement at the prodigious power of commerce. Hail commerce! daughter of industry, confort to credit, parent of opulence, full fifter to C 3 liberty, liberty, and great grandmother to the art of navigation I. Fun. Why this gentlewoman has a pedigree as long as your wife's, brother Zac. Z. Fun. Prithee Ifaac be quiet-art of navigation-a-a-'vigation.-Zooks, that fellow has put me quite out. Gruel. It matters not; this day's performance has largely fulfilled your yefterday's promife. Z. Fun. But I han't half done, the beft is to come; let me juft give him that part about turnpegs for the floughs, the mires, the ruts, the impaffable bogs, that the languid, but generous, fteed travelled through; he now pricks up his ears, he neighs, he canters, he capers through a whole region of turnpegs. Enter Mrs. MECHLIN. 'Mrs. Mech. Your riding-mafter is below. Z. Fun: Gadfo! then here we must end. You'll pardon me, good Mr. Gruel; for as I want to be a finifhed gentleman as foon as I can, it is impoffible for me to ftick long to any one thing. Gruel. Sir, Though your exit is rather abrupt, yet the multiplicity of your avocations do, (as I may fay) in fome measure, cicatrife the otherwise mortal wound on this occafion fuftained by deco rum. Z. Fun. Cicatrife! I could hear him all day: He is a wonderful man. Well, Mr. Gruel, to morrow we will at it again. Gruel. You will find me prompt at your flightest volition. Z. Fun. I wish, brother Ifaac, I could have staid, you fhould have heard me oration away like a lawyer, a lawyer, about pleadings and presidents, but all in good time.[Exit Fungus. Mrs. Mech. This gentleman, fir, will gain you vaft credit. Gruel. Yes, ma'am, the capabilities of the gentleman, I confefs, are enormous; and as to you I am indebted for this promifing pupil, you will permit me to expunge the obligation by an inftantaneous and gratis lecture on that fpecies of eloquence peculiar to ladies. Mrs. Mech. Oh, fir, I have no fort of occafion Gruel. As to that biped, man, (for fuch I define him to be) a male or mafculine manner belongs Mrs. Mech. Any other time, good Mr. Gruel. Gruel. So to that biped, woman, fhe participating of his general nature, the word homo, in Latin, being promifcuoufly used as woman or man Mrs. Mech. For Heaven's fake Gruel. But being caft in a more tender and delicate mould Mrs. Mech. Sir, I have twenty people in waiting Gruel. The foft, fupple, infinuating graces― Mrs. Mech. I muft infift Gruel. Do appertain, (as I may say) in a more peculiar, or particular manner; Mrs. Mech. Nay, then Gruel. Her rank, in the order, of entities.Mrs. Mech. I muft thruft you out of my houfe. Gruel. Not calling her forth. Mrs. Mech. Was there ever fuch a [pushing him out. |