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do with mechanicks, the fool owned fhe had then from you. I fhould be glad to fee any of my customers at a lofs for a lye. But thofe trumpery traders, Mr. Paduafoy, you'll never gain any credit by them.

Pad. This must be a trick of my wife's; I know the women are intimate, but this piece of intelligence will make a hot houfe. None of my fault indeed, Mrs. Mechlin; I hope, ma'am this won't make any difference?

Mrs. Mech. Difference! I don't believe I fhall be able to fmuggle a gown for you these fix months. What is in that bundle?

Pad. Some India handkerchiefs, that you promifed to procure of a fupercargo at Woolwich, for Sir Thomas Callico's lady.

Mrs. Mech. Are you pretty forward with the light fprigged waistcoats from Italy?

Pad. They will be out of the loom in a week. Mrs. Mech. You need not put any Genoa velvets in hand till the end of the autumn; but you may make me immediately a freth fortment of foreign ribbons for summer

Pad. Any other commands, Mrs Mechlin?
Mrs. Mech. Not at prefent, I think.

Pad. I wish you, madam, a very good morn

ing.

Mrs. Mech. Mr. Paduafoy, Lord! I had liked to have forgot. You muft write an anonymous letter to the Cuftom-houfe, and fend me fome old filks to be feized; I muft treat the town with a bonfire it will make a fine paragraph for the papers; and at the fame time advertise the public where fuch things may be had.

Pad. I fhan't fail, madam.

[Exit Paduafoy.

Mrs.

Mrs. Mech. Who fays now that I am not a friend to my country! I think the Society for the Encouragement of Arts, fhould vote me a premium. I am fure I am one of the greatest encouragers of our own manufactures.

[Exit Mrs. Mechlin

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Enter ZACHARIAH FUNGUS, ISAAC FUNGUS, and Mrs. MECHLIN.

Zac. Fungus.

BROTHER Ifaac, you are a blockhead I tell you. But first anfwer me this; can know

ledge do a man any harm?

I. Fun. No, fartingly, what is befitting a man for to learn.

Z. Fun. To learn! and how fhould you know what is befitting a gentleman to learn! Stick to your trade, master tallow-chandler.

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I. Fun. Now, brother Zachary, can you fay in your confcience, as how, it is defcent to be learning to dance, when you ha' almoft loft the use of your legs?

Z. Fun. Loft the ufe of my legs? to fee but the malice of men! Do but ax Mrs. Mechlin; now, ma'am, does not Mrs. Dukes fay, that, con, fidering my time, I have made a wonderful pro grefs?

I. Fun. Your time, brother Zac!

Z. Fun.

Z. Fun. Ay, my time, brother Ifaac. Why, I han't been at it paffing a couple of months, and we have at our school two aldermen and a ferjeant at law, that were full half a year before they could get out of hand.

Mrs. Mech. Very true, fir.

Z. Fun. There now, Mrs. Mechlin can vouch it. And pray, ma'am, does not mafter allow, that of my age, I am the most hopeful scholar he has ?

Mrs. Mech. I can't but fay, Mr. Ifaac, that the 'fquire has made a moft prodigious improvement.

Z. Fun. Do you hear that? I wish we had but a kit, I would fhow you what I could do: one, two, three, ha. One, two, three, ha. There are rifings and finkings.

Mrs. Mech. Ay, marry, as light as a cork.

Z. Fun. An't it! Why, before next winter is over, he fays, he'll fit me for dancing in public; and who knows but in Lent, you may fee me amble at a Ridotto with an opera finger.

Mrs. Mech. And I warrant he acquits himself as well as the beft.

I. Fun. Mercy on me; and pray brother, that thing like a fword in your hand, what may the ufe of that implement be?

Z. Fun. This! oh, this is a foil.

I. Fun. A foil.

Z. Fun. Ay, a little inftrument, by which, we who are gentlemen, are inftructed to kill one another.

1. Fun. To kill! Marry, heaven forbid: I hope you have no fuch bloody intentions. Why, brother Zac. you was used to be a peaceable man.

Z. Fun. Ay, that was when I was a paltry mechanick, and afraid of the law, but now I am another guefs perfon; I have been in camps, can

toons,

toons, and intrenchments: have marched over bridges and breaches; I have feen the Ezel and Wezell; I'm got as rich as a Jew; and if any man dares to affront me, I'll let him know that my trade has been fighting.

I. Fun. Rich as a Jew! Ah, Zaç. Zac. but if you had not had another guess trade than fighting, I doubt whether you would have returned altogether fo rich: but now you have got all this wealth, why not fit down and enjoy it in quiet?

Z. Fun. Hark ye, Ifaac, do you purtend to know life? are you acquainted with the Beaux Efprits of the age?

1. Fun. I don't understand you.

Z. Fun. No, I believe not; then how fhould you know what belongs to gentility?

I. Fun. And why not as well as you, brother Zac. I hope I am every whit as well born?

Z. Fun. Ay, Ifaac, but the breeding is all; confider I have been a gentleman above five years and three quarters, and I think fhould know a little what belongs to the bufinefs; hey, Mrs. Mechlin ?

Mrs. Mech. Very true, Sir.

Z. Fun. And as to this foil, do you know, Ifaac, in what the art of fencing confifts?

I. Fun. How should I?

Z. Fun. Why it is fhort; there are but two Tules; the firft is, to give your antagonist as many thrufts as you can; the fecond, to be careful and receive none yourself.

I. Fun. But how this is to be done?

Z. Fun. Oh, eafy enough: for do you fee, if you can but divert your adverfary's point from the line of your body, it is impoffible he ever should hit you; and all this is done by a little turn of the

wrift, either this way, or that way. But I'll fhow you: John, bring me a foil. Mrs. Mechlin, it will be worth your obferving. Here, brother Ifaac. [Offers him a foil.

I. Fun. Not I.

Z. Fun. These bourgeois are fo frightful. Mrs. Mechlin, will you, ma'am, do me the favour to push at me a little? Mind, brother, when she thrufts at me in carte, I do fo; and when-fhe pushes in tierce, I do fo; and by this means a man is fure to avoid being killed. But it may not be amifs, brother Ifaac, to give you the progrefs of a regular quarrel; and then you will fee what fort of a thing a gentleman is. Now I have been told, do you fee, brother Ifaac, by a friend who has a regard for my honour, that Captain Jenkins, or Hopkins, or Wilkins, or what captain you please, has in public company called me a cuckold

I. Fun. A cuckold? But how can that be? because why, brother Zac. you ben't married. Z. Fun. But as I am juft going to be married, that may very well happen you know.

Mrs. Mech. True.

Z. Fun. Yes, yes, the thing is natural enough. Well, the captain has faid I am a cuckold. Upon which, the first time I fet eyes on captain Wilkins, either at Vaux-hall, or at Ranelagh, I accoft him, in a courteous, genteel-like manner.

I. Fun. And that's more than he merits.

Z. Fun. Your patience, dear Ifaac in a courteous, gentleman-like manner; captain Hopkins, your fervant.

I. Fun. Why, you call'd him but now captain Wilkins.

Z. Fun. 'Pfhaw! you blockhead, I tell you the name does not fignify nothing-Your fervant;

fhall

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