Mifs L. Granted, Madam. L. Kitty. And as to you, did not I, for no reafon that I know, unlefs indeed that you are a diftant relation, take you into my houfe, put you above my own woman, and make you one of my maids of honour at once? Mifs L. I hope, Madam, I have not proved ungrateful. L. Kitty. No, Mifs? How often have I caught you ogling and throwing out lures to Sir John in his life-time? Mifs L. I hope, Madam, Sir John never charged me with any defigns of that nature. L. Kitty. No, there was your fecurity, Mifs; you knew he was too generous and good to expofe your infamous arts; but you could not conceal them from me! Mifs L. Nay, for Heaven's fake, Madam L. Kitty. In Italy too, there was Prince Pincoffi and Cardinal Grimfky; you could not help throwing out your traps to enfnare them. Mifs L. Me, Madam? L. Kitty. Yes, you; what elfe, at my affemblies, could make them prefer your converfation to mine? I hope you have not the impudence to fuppofe that your perfon and figure would bear any comparison. Mifs L. Madam, I never prefumed L. Kitty. Befides, Mifs, you know I never durft carry you with me to any conference I had with the pope, for fear you should be trying fome of your coquetifh airs upon him. Mifs L. Mercy upon me! L. Kitty. And here too, Colonel Crosby, the only decent man in the town, when I was in Calais before, never miffed my toilet a morn ing; but now, when he comes, won't tarry a moment, unless indeed when you are in waiting. Mijs L. I am fo confufed at the strange charges your ladyfhip brings, that I proteft I don't know what anfwer to make! L: Kitty. I do really believe you. But you fee, Mifs, all your little contrivances are fully difcovered; and I fhould tell you, Mifs Lydell, that you are the most artificial, cunning, hypocritical, mischievous minx, that ever I met with, but my humanity and my good breeding prevents me: A woman of quality fhould never lofe fight of her ftation. Mifs L. Was I capable of but half the crimes. your ladyfhip lays to my charge, I should deteft myfelf full as much as your ladyship hates me. But I can't wish, Madam, that your ladyfhip should keep about your perfon a young creature to whom you have been pleased to take fuch an averfion: Send me, therefore, Madam, to my poor mother; her age and infirmities muft want my affiftance. L. Kitty. Who hinders you, Mifs? You may go when you please. Mifs L. Your ladyfhip will fend with me fome perfon of confidence? or, at least, à line to my mother, intimating, that I have neither difhonoured myself, or deferted your ladyship? L. Kitty. So here is another ftroke of your art! You want to perfuade people, that, through caprice, grown tired of your company, I have the cruelty to throw you at once upon the wide world: No, Mifs! that won't do; you should be a little more careful to cover the hook. ·Enter a Servant and Colonel Crosby. Serv. Colonel Crosby. [Exit. Colonel. I hope I am not an intruder.-Blefs me, what has happened? Mifs Lydell in tears! L Kitty. Yes; the poor child has juft received a letter from her mother, one of the best kind of women that ever was: Dry up your tears, Lydia, my love!-You fullen, fulking, ftomachful flut!-Poor Mrs. Lydell has but very bad health, Colonel Crosby; and the dear girl, who is indeed a most affectionate dutiful daughterGo up to your room, you pouting, perverfe, little vixen-You fee, Colonel! but be comforted, Lydy, my dear! though you should lofe your mother, you may be certain of finding a mother in me. Colonel. I hope, Mifs, there is no immediate imminent danger. L. Kitty. The poor child's tender nature, and amiable heart, makes her dread the worst that can happen. What, is the wench petrified? move off, and don't ftand fniveling here!She wishes, Colonel, to withdraw to her chamber: But don't brood over your forrows, my love! order my coach, and take a little airing, my dear! I hope it will overturn, and break every bone in your fkin. [Exit Lydia. Colonel. How amiable in your ladyfhip is this attention for fo deferving an object! L. Kitty. I am afraid, Colonel, you will think it a weakness: Excess of humanity is my foible, I know; but a generous mind, fuch as your's, Colonel, will pardon the error. Colonel. Error! it is the glory, the pride of your your fex; it is the invincible Ægis of Pallas, that must subdue every heart it attacks! L. Kitty. Sorrows naturally foften the mind; and, Heaven knows, I have had a plentiful portion. The dear man, whose refemblance I wear on my wrift Colonel. For Heaven's fake, madam L. Kitty. And for ever will wear-But what neceffity for this idle delufion? is not thy fweet image deeply graved in my heart? Colonel. Indeed your ladyship fhould not give way to thefe tranfports; they may endanger your health. L Kitty. Look here! Can I then lament him too much? But thou art but gone before me, my love! Colonel. Let me. refpect the facred hour of forrow, nor interrupt it by useless confolation, and impertinent form! [Exit. L. Kitty. A fhort space will unite us, never to bear the torture of the feparation again! Oh, that it was permitted me, with my own hand to fhorten the time! this night, the arched vault fhould inclofe us! to the cold chamber of death I would with rapture defcend Enter Hetty. How came that ill-bred puppy let in, without announcing his name? Hetty. I fancy, Madam, the fervants were out of the way. L. Kitty. That is always the cafe! Sure never was poor lady peftered by fuch an infamous fet! But you all know and take advantage of my patient and mild difpofion! Hetty. To be fure, poor dove!-There are fome fome English people below, beg to have the honour of feeing your ladyship. L. Kitty. Do I know them? Hetty. Mrs. Clack of Pall-Mall, with two of three more. L. Kitty. Let Mrs. Clack first be admitted, Is the room fit to receive them? Hetty. Would your ladyship fee her in the Chamber of Tears? L. Kitty. Where elfe? Light the candle, and fhut out the fun! [Exit Hetty. This part that I play begins to grow horribly tedious. In my husband's lifetime, indeed, I had one confolation at least, that I could always make him pay me in private for the good humour and fondnefs that I lavished on him in public: But now, I have no other resource but in fervants; and they too at times are rebellious. Thefe English creatures get fuch odd notions about liberty into their heads! I fancy the Turks would make good domeftics enough; but then the brutes are fo tame and fubmiffive, that it is fcarce poffible to teaze and torment them: Now the great pleasure of power, is in ruling over fenfible fubjects, who wince and feel the yoke when it galls them-Blefs me! who is this? Yes, my lord, in thy tomb all my wishes lie bur Enter Hetty, Hetty. The room is ready, my lady. L. Kitty. I wish the room was on fire, and you in the middle on't! plague on you! I was afraid it was the Colonel come back. [Exeunt. ACT |