him, a little hark you, Mr. Knight, I begin to discover that you are a very sad dog. Sir Luke. Et tu Brute! Serj. Brute!-you'll find I am not the brute you would have me believe-I have consider'd both sides of the question. Sir Luke. Both sides of the question ? Serj. Both: if your story is true, you are a scoundrel to debauch the wife of your friend, and if it is false, you are an infamous liar. Sir Luke. Well argued. my house. Serj. So in both cases, get out of my Serj. Troop I tell you, and never again enter these walls-you have libelled my wife, and I will see you no more. Sir Luke. Was there ever such a Serj. March! and as to my daughter, I would as soon marry her to a forma pauperis client. [Serjeant pushes sir Luke off. Mrs. Circ. Do you consider, Mr. Circuit, where you are pushing the fellow ?-That chamber is Charlotte's. Enter sir Luke, Woodford, Charlotte, and Fack. Sir Luke. Heyday! who the deuce have we here?-Pray walk in, my good folks-your servant, miss Charlotte; your servant, Mr. What-d'ye-callum.-Mr. Serjeant, you need not trouble yourself to cater for miss; your family you see can provide for themselves. Serj. Heyday! What the deuce is all this! Who are you, sir, and how came you here? [To Woodford. Jack. It was I, father, that brought him. Serj. How, sirrah! Sir Luke. Well said, my young limb of the law. Jack. Come, let us have none o'your-though I brought Mr. Woodford, you could not persuade me to do the same office for you-father, never stir if he did not make me the proffer, if I would let him into the house the night you was at Kingston, of a new pair of silk stockings, and to learn me a minuet. Sir Luke. Me! I should never have got you to turn out your toes. Jack. Ay, and moreover you made me push out my chest, and do so with my fingers, as if I was taking two pinches of snuff. Sir Luke. You see, Mr. Serjeant, what a fondness I have for every twig of your family. Serj. I shall thank you hereafter-but from you, Charlotte, I expected other guess Char. When, sir, you hear this whole matter explain'd, you will acquit me, I am sure. Woodf. Indeed, sir, I am wholly to blame; my being here was as much a surprize upon miss Charlotte as Serj. But now you are here, pray what's your business? Jack. O! father, I can acquaint you with that -he wanted me to bring a love-letter to Charlotte, so I told him he might bring it himself, for that I would not do any such thing for never so much, for fear of offending of you. Serj. You mended the matter indeed-but after all, who, and what are you? Jack. It's the young gentleman that lives over our heads, to whom Mr. Fairplay is guardian. Serj. Who, Woodford? Jack. The same. Serj. And are you, young man, in a situation to think of a wife? Woodf. I am flattered, sir, that as justice is with me, I shall one day have no contemptible fortune to throw at her feet. What signifies justice?-Is Serj. Justice is! the law with you, you fool? Woodf. With your help, sir, I should hope for their union, upon this occasion at least. Serj. Well, sir, I shall re-consider your papers, and, if there are probable grounds, I may be induced to hear your proposals. Woodf. Nay then, sir, the recovering my paternal possessions makes me anxious indeedCould I hope that the young lady's good wish would attend me! Char. I have a father, and can have no will of my own. Sir Luke. So then it seems poor Pil Garlick here is discarded at once. Serj. Why, could you have the impudence, after what has happen'd, to hope that Mrs. Circ. He has given wonderful proofs of his modesty. Sir Luke. Be quiet, Mrs. Circuit.-Come, good folks, I will set all matters to rights in a minute; and first, Mr. Serjeant, it becomes me to tell you, that I never intended to marry your daughter. Serj. How! never! Sir Luke. Never. She is a fine girl I allow; but would it now, Mr. Serjeant, have been honest in me, to have robb'd the whole sex of my person, and confin'd my favours to her? Serj. How! Sir Luke. No! I was struck with the immorality of the thing; and therefore to make it impossible that you should ever give me your daughter, I invented the story I told you concerning Mrs. Circuit and me. Serj. How! Sir Luke. Truth, upon my honour.-Your wife there will tell you the whole was a lie. Serj. Nay, then indeed.-But with what face can I look up to my dear? I have injured her beyond the hopes of forgiveness.-Would you, lovee, - but pass an act of oblivion Sir Luke. [kneels] See me here prostrate to implore your clemency in behalf of my friend. Mrs. Circ. Of that I can't determine directly.But as you seem to have some sense of your guilt, I shall grant you a reprieve for the present; which contrition and amendment may, perhaps, in time, swell into a pardon. But if again offending you are caught, Serj. Then let me suffer, dearee, as I ought. [Exeunt omnes. T. C. Hansard, Printer, FINIS. |