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Serj. So far you see then the balance is even. Char. True.

Serj. But then to turn the scale, child, against A, in favour of B, they produce the circumstance D, viz. B's watch found in the pocket of A; upon which, the testimony of C being contradicted by B,-no, by D,-why then A, that is to say C, -no D-joining B, they convict C,-no, no, A, -against the affidavit of C.-So this being pretty clear, child, I leave the application to you.

Char. Very obliging, sir. But suppose now, sir, it should appear that the attention of sir Luke Limp is directed to some other object, would that not induce you to

Serj. Other object! Where?

Char. In this very house.

Serj. Here! why the girl is non compos; there's nobody here, child, but a parcel of Abigails.

Char. No, sir?

Serj. No.

Char. Yes, sir, one person else.
Serj. Who is that?

Char. But remember, sir, my accusation is confined to sir Luke.

Serj. Well, well.

Char. Suppose then, sir, those powerful charms which made a conquest of you, may have extended their empire over the heart of sir Luke?

Serj. Why, hussy, you don't hint at your mother-in-law?

Char. Indeed, sir, but I do.

Serj. Ay; why this is point blank treason against my sovereign authority: but can you, Charlotte, bring proof of any overt acts?

Char. Overt acts!

Serj. Ay; that is any declaration by writing, or even word of mouth is sufficient; then let 'em demur if they dare.

Char. I can't say that, sir; but another organ has been pretty explicit.

Sery. Which?

Char. In those cases a very infallible one-the eye.

Serj. Pshaw! nonsense and stuff.-The eye! the eye has no authority in a court of law.

Char. Perhaps not, sir; but it is a decisive evi dence in a court of love.

Serj. Hark you, hussy, why you would not file an information against the virtue of madam your mother; you would not insinuate that she has been guilty of crim. con. ?

Char. Sir, you mistake me; it is not the lady, but the gentleman I am about to impeach.

Serj. Have a care, Charlotte, I see on what ground your action is founded-jealousy.

Char. You were never more deceived in your life; for it is impossible, my dear sir, that jealousy can subsist without love.

Serj. Well.

Char. And from that passion (thank Heaven) I am pretty free at present.

Serj. Indeed!

Char. A sweet object to excite tender desires! Serj. And why not, hussy?

Char. First as to his years.

Serj. What then?

Char. I own, sir, age procures honour, but I believe it is very rarely productive of love.

Serj. Mighty well.

Char. And tho' the loss of a leg can't be imputed to sir Luke Limp as a fault

Serj. How!

Char. I hope, sir, at least you will allow it as a misfortune.

Serj. Indeed?

Char. A pretty thing truly, for a girl, at my time of life, to be tied to a man with one foot in the grave.

Serj. One foot in the grave! the rest of his

body is not a whit the nearer for that.-There has been only an execution issued against part of his personals, his real estate is unencumbered and free-besides, you see he does not mind it a whit, but is as alert, and as merry, as a defendant after non-suiting a plaintiff for omitting an S.

Char. O, sir! I know how proud sir Luke is of his leg, and have often heard him declare, that he would not change his bit of timber for the best flesh and bone in the kingdom.

Serj. There's a hero for you!

Char. To be sure, sustaining unavoidable evils with constancy is a certain sign of greatness of mind.

Serj. Doubtless.

Char. But then to derive a vanity from a misfortune, will not I'm afraid be admitted as a vast instance of wisdom, and indeed looks as if the man had nothing better to distinguish himself by. Serj. How does that follow?

Char. By inuendo.

Serj. Negatur.

Char. Besides, sir, I have other proofs of your hero's vanity, not inferior to that I have mentioned. Serj. Cite them.

Char. The paltry ambition of loving and following titles.

Serj Titles! I don't understand you?

Char. I mean the property of fastening in public upon men of distinction, for no other reason but because of their rank; adhering to sir John till the baronet is superseded by my lord; quitting the puny peer for an earl; and sacrificing all three to a duke.

Serj. Keeping good company! a laudable ambition!

Char. True, sir, if the virtues that procured the father a peerage, could with that be entail'd on the son.

Serj. Have a care, hussy-there are severe laws against speaking evil of dignities.

Char. Sir!

Serj. Scandalum magnatum is a statute must not be trifled with: why you are not one of those vulgar sluts that think a man the worse for being a lord?

Char. No, sir; I am contented with only not thinking him the better.

Serj. For all this, I believe, hussy, a right honourable proposal would soon make you alter your

mind.

Char. Not unless the proposer had other qualities than what he possesses by patent. Besides, sir, you know sir Luke is a devotee to the bottle. Serj. Not a whit the less honest for that.

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Char. It occasions one evil at least; that when under its influence, he generally reveals all, sometimes more, than he knows.

Serj. Proofs of an open temper, you baggage, but, come, come, all these are but trifling objections. Char. You mean, sir, they prove the object a trifle.

Serj. Why, you pert jade, do you play on my words? I say sir Luke is

Char. Nobody.

Serj. Nobody! how the deuce do you make that out? He is neither person attainted or outlaw'd, may in any of his majesty's courts sue or be sued, appear by attorney, or in propria persona, can acquire, buy, procure, purchase, possess, and inherit not only personalities, such as goods, and chattels, but even realities, as all lands, tenements, and hereditaments, whatsoever, and wheresoever. Char. But sir

Serj. Nay, further, child, he may sell, give, bestow, bequeath, devise, demise, lease, or to farm lett, ditto lands, or to any person whomsoeverand

Char. Without doubt, sir; but there are notwithstanding in this town a great number of nobodies, not described by lord Coke.

·Serj. Hey!

Char. There is your next-door neighbour, sir Harry Hen, an absolute blank.

Serj. How so, Mrs. Pert?

Char. What, sir! a man who is not suffered to hear, see, smell, or in short to enjoy the free use of any one of his senses; who, instead of having a positive will of his own, is denied even a paltry negative; who can neither resolve or reply, consent or deny, without first obtaining the leave of his lady: an absolute monarch to sink into the sneaking state of being a slave to one of his subjects-Oh fye!

Serj. Why, to be sure, sir Harry Hen, is as I

may say

Char. Nobody, sir, in the fullest sense of the word- Then your client lord Solo.

Serj. Heyday! Why you would not annihilate a peer of the realm, with a prodigious estate, and an allowed judge too of the elegant arts.

Char. O yes, sir, I am no stranger to that nobleman's attributes; but then, sir, please to consider, his power as a peer he gives up to a proxy; the direction of his estate, to a rapacious, artful attorney and as to his skill in the elegant arts, I presume you confine them to painting and music, he is directed in the first by mynheer Van Eisel, a Dutch dauber; and in the last is but the echo of signora Florenza, his lordship's mistress and an opera singer.

Serj. Mercy upon us! at what a rate the jade runs!

Char. In short, sir, I define every individual who, ceasing to act for himself, becomes the tool, the mere engine of another man's will, to be nothing more than a cypher.

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