I can tell 'em, they'll have but very few forfeits from me.

Enter Betty, in haste, with a Letter.

Betty. By a chairman, madam,from the Thatch'dHouse.

Mrs. Circ. Give it me, Betty, this instant ;-ay -this is Mattadore's hand. [opens and reads the letter.]" My dear Circuit it is with the utmost concern, and confusion, I find myself obliged to acquaint you, that notwithstanding all the pains I have taken, the club have thought fit to reject."-Oh! [she faints] Betty. Bless my soul! my lady is gone!-John! Will! Kitty! run hither this instant.

Enter two Maids and a Man-servant.

All. What, what's the matter?

Betty. Quick! quick! some hartshorn and water [pats her hands. Madam! madam

Servant. Here! here! here! [bringing water.] Betty. John, go for the potter-carrier this instant-I believes to my soul she is dead-Kitty, fetch some feathers to burn under her nose ;-there, stand further off, and give her some air

[Exeunt John and Kitty.

Enter sir Luke.

Sir Luke. Hey day! what the deuce is the matter? What's the meaning of all this, Mrs. Betty? Betty. Oh! sir, is it you-- my poor lady! [cries] clap the bottle hard to her nose.

Sir Luke. But how came it about?

Betty. Some of the continents of that curs'd letter, she has there in her hand.

Sir Luke. Here, here, take some of my

luce. [offering a bottle.]

eau-de

Betty. There! she recovers a little-some water

-I believe it is nothing but a satirical fit, I have had them myself-now she opens her eyes-so, so -bend her forward a little.

Sir Luke. My sweet Mrs. Circuit.

Betty. Nobody at all, madam, but only sir Luke.

Mrs. Circ. Oh! sir Luke, such a stroke, so fatal, so sudden, it is not in nature I should ever survive it.

Sir Luke. Marry, heaven forbid! but what cause what could

Mrs. Circ. Leave the room. [to the servants, who go out. -Only, look over that letter.

Sir Luke. Hum, hum,-[reads] "fit to reject you"-this

Mrs. Circ.

There! there! there!

Sir Luke. I own this is the utmost malice of fortune-but let me finish the letter." This calamity, dear Circuit, is of such a nature as baffles all advice, or interposition of friends, I shall therefore leave you to time, and your own good understanding." (pretty and sensible)-" yours, &c."-But let us see, what says the postscript-[reads.]" Perhaps it may give you some comfort to know that you had sixteen almonds, and but two raisins against you."

Mrs. Circ. But two!

Sir Luke. No more!

Mrs. Circ. This must be Kitty Cribbage's doing, she has been tattling about the paultry trifle I owe her.

Sir Luke. Not unlikely; but come, bear up, my dear madam, and consider that two.

Mrs. Circ. Is as bad as two thousand.

Sir Luke. Granted; but perhaps it mayn't be too late to repair.Gadso! I have thought of a scheme-I'll be elected myself, and then I warrant we manage

Mrs. Circ. You, sir Luke? That never can be. Sir Luke. No, madam, and why not?-Why you don't suppose that they would venture to

Mrs. Circ. It would not only be against the spirit, but the very letter of their constitution to chuse you a member.

Sir Luke. Av, madam, how so?

Mrs. Circ. Their statutes are selected from all the codes that ever existed from the days of Lycurgus to the present Czarina.`

Sir Luke.

Well.

Mrs. Circ. The law that relates to your case they have borrow'd from the Roman religion. Sir Luke. As how?

Mrs. Circ. As no man can be admitted a Monk, who has the least corporal spot, or defect; so, no candidate can be received as a member who is deprived of the use of any one of his limbs.

Sir Luke. Nay, then indeed I am clearly cut out; that incapacity can never be got over.

Mrs. Circ. Indeed, the Serjeant says, if the club could be induced to resolve in your favour, then the original law would signify nothing.

Sir Luke. Well, well, we'll see what can be done. [a loud knocking.] But hush the company's come; collect yourself, sweet Mrs. Circuit; don't give your enemies the malicious pleasure of seeing how this disappointment affects you.

Mrs. Circ. Never fear; I know a little too much of the world not to turn this defeat to my credit.

Enter colonel Secret and Mrs. Simper.

Mrs. Sim. Your servant, sir Luke; my dear Circuit, I am frighten'd to death-your people tell me, you are but just recover'd from a

Mrs. Circ. Oh! nothing at all! a faintness, a kind of swimming-but those people are ever swelling those mole hills to mountains.

Mrs. Sim. I protest I was afraid that you had suffer'd your late disappointment to lay hold of your spirits.

Mrs. Cire. What disappointment, my dear? Col. Mrs. Simper hints at the little mistake made this morning at the Thatch'd-house."

Mrs. Circ. That ridiculous! I could have told you that a fortnight ago, child-all my own doing.

Mrs. Sim. How!

Sir Luke. Entirely.

Mrs. Circ. Oh! I always detested the thoughts of the thing they would put me up, let me say what I would, so I was reduced to the necessity of prevailing upon two friends to black-ball me.

Mrs. Sim. That, indeed, alters the case.

Col. I am vastly happy to hear it your old acquaintance were afraid they should lose you.

Mrs. Circ. It is a sign they know but little of me-but come, my good folks, I have prepared a small collation in the next room, will you

Enter Jack and Woodford.

[Exeunt.

Jack. I'll watch sister, to see that nobody comes; now, Woodford, make good use of your time. [Exit Woodford.] There, I have left 'em together; if I had staid, I don't believe they would have open'd their mouths for a month: I never saw such an alteration in a lad since the day I was born. Why, if I had not known him before, I should not have thought he had a word to throw to a dog; but I remember the old proverb:

True lovers are shy,
When people are by.

I'll take a peep to see how they go on;-there they are, just in the same posture I left them; she

folding her fingers, and he twirling his hat; why they don't even look at each other: was there ever such a couple of stay, stay, now he opens his mouth-pshaw !-lord! there he shuts it again -hush! I hear somebody coming-no-nothing at all: mother is safe I am sure, there is no danger from her-now let us take t'other-peeps at the door] hum!-gadso, matters are mightily mended -there! there! very well-there he lays down the law-now he claps his hand on his heartvastly pretty, I vow-there he swops with both his knees on the ground-charming!-and squeezes his hat with both hands, like one of the actorsdelightful! she wants him to rise and he won'tprodigious moving indeed!

Enter Betty.

Betty. So, sir, what are you doing there?
Jack. There; where?

Betty. With your eyes glew'd close to the keyhole.

Jack. I wanted to speak a word to my sister. Betty. Then why don't you open her door? Jack. I did not know but she might be saying her prayers.

Betty. Prayers! a likely story! who says their prayers at this time of the day?—No, no, that won't upon me.-Let me look-very pretty! So, so, I see there's somebody else at his prayers toofine doings! As soon as the company goes, I shall take care to inform madam your mother.

Jack. Nay, but Mrs. Betty, you won't be soBetty. Indeed, Mr. John, but I shall-I'll swallow none of your secrets, believe me.

Jack. What, perhaps your stomach is overloaded already.

Betty. No matter for that, I shall be even with miss for telling master about and concerning my drums...