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many legs as a polypus.-As thus-tol de roldon't you see?
Serj. Very plain.
Sir Luke. A leg! a redundancy! a mere nothing at all.
Man is from nature an extravagant creature. In my opinion, we might all be full as well as we are, with but half the things that we have.
Char. Ay, sir Luke! how do you prove that?
Sir Luke. By constant experience.--You must have seen the man who makes and uses pens without hands.
Serj. I have.
Sir Luke. And not a twelvemonth ago, I lost my way in a fog, at Mile End, and was conducted to my house in May-Fair by a man as blind as a beetle.
Serj. Wonderful !
Sir Luke. And as to hearing and speaking, those organs are of no manner of use in the world.
Sir Luke. If you doubt it, I will introduce you to a whole family, dumb as oysters, and deaf as the dead, who chatter from morning till night by only the help of their fingers.
Serj. Why, Charlotte, these are cases in point.
Sir Luke. Oh! clear as a trout-stream; and it is not only, my little Charlotte, that this piece of timber answers every purpose, but it has procured me many a bit of fun in my time.
Serj. Ay! Sir Luke. Why, it was but last summer, at Tunbridge, we were plagued the whole season by a bullet-headed Swiss from the canton of Bern, who was always boasting, what, and how much he dared do ; and then, as to pain, no Stoic, not Diogenes, held it more in contempt.-By gods, he vas no more minds it dan nothings at all -30, foregad, I gave my German a challenge.
Serj. As how ?- Mind, Charlotte.
Sir Luke. Why, to drive a corking pin into the calves of our legs.
Serj. Well, well.
Sir Luke. Mine, you may imagine, was easily done-but when it came to the Baron
Serj. Ay, ay.
Sir Luke. Our modern Cato soon lost his cool. ness and courage, screw'd his nose up to his foretop, rapp'd out a dozen oaths in high Dutch, limp'd away to his lodgings, and was there laid up for a month-Ha, ha, ha!
Enter a Servant, and delivers a card to Sir Luke.
Sir Luke reads. “ Sir Gregory Goose desires the honour of sir Luke Limp's company to dine. An answer is desired.” Gadso! a little unlucky; I have been engag'd for these three weeks.
Serj. What, I find sir Gregory is return'd for the corporation of Fleecem. Sir Luke. Is he so? Oh ho !
-That alters the case.-George, give my compliments to sir Gregory, and I'll certainly come and dine there. Or der Joe to run to alderman Inkle's, in Threadneedle-street; sorry can't wait upon him, but confin'd to bed two days with the new influenza,
[Exit Servant, Char. You make light, sir Luke, of these sort of
Sir Luke. What can a man do? These damn'd fellows (when one has the misfortune to meet them) take scandalous advantage ; teaze. When will
you do me the honour, pray, sir Luke, to take a bit of mutton with me? Do you name the day, -They are as bad as a beggar, who attacks your coach at the mounting of a hill; there is no getting rid of them, without a penny to one, and a promise to t'other.
Serj. True ; and then for such a time' too
three weeks! I wonder they expect folks to remember. It is like a retainer in Michaelmas term for the summer assizes.
Sir Luke. Not but, upon these occasions, no man in England is more punctual than —
Enter a Servant, who gives sir Luke a Letter. From whom ?
Serv. Earl of Brentford. The servant waits for an answer.
Sir Luke. Answer !-By your leave, Mr. Serjeant and Charlotte. (Reads.) ] « Taste for music Mons. Duport-fail-Dinner upon table at five." Gadso! I hope sir Gregory's servant an't gone.
Serv. Immediately upon receiving the answer.
Sir Luke. Run after him as fast as you can tell him, quite in despair-recollect an engagement that can't in nature be missed, -and return in an instant.
[Exit Servant. Char. You see, sir, the knight must give way for my lord.
Sir Luke. No, faith; it is not that, my dear Charlotte ; you saw that was quite an extempore business.-No, hang it, no, it is not for the title ; but to tell you the truth, Brentford has more wit than any man in the world; it is that makes me fond of his house.
Char. By the choice of his company he gives an unanswerable instance of that.
Sir Luke. You are right, my dear girl. But now to give you a proof of his wit: You know Brentford's finances are a little out of repair, which procures him some visits that he would very gladly
Serj. What need he fear? His person is sacred; for by the tenth of William and Mary-
Sir Luke. He knows that well enough; but for all that
Serj. Indeed, by a late act of his own house,
(which does them infinite honour) his goods or chattels may be
Sir Luke. Seized upon when they can find them ; but he lives in ready furnish'd lodgings, and hires his coach by the month.
Serj. Nay, if the sheriff return “non inventus”.
Sir Luke. A pox o'your law, you make me lose sight of my story. One morning, a Welch coachmaker came with his bill to my lord, whose name was unluckily Lloyd. My lord had the man up. You are callid, I think, Mr. Lloyd ?--At your lordship's service, my lord.What, Lloyd with an Li-It was with an L indeed, my lord. --Be
your part of the world I have heard that Lloyd and Flloyd were synonimous, the very same names. Very often indeed, iny lord.-But you always spell your's with an L-Always. -That, Mr. Lloyd, is a little unlucky; for
you must know I am now paying by debts alphabetically, and in four or five years you might have come in with an F; but I'am afraid I can give you no hopes for your L.-Ha, ha, ha!
Enter a Servant.
Sir Luke. That is unlucky: tell my lord I'll at. tend him.--I'll call on sir Gregory myself.
[Exit Servant. Serj. Why, you won't leave us, sir Luke?
Sir Luke. "Pardon, dear Serjeant and Charlotta ; have a thousand things to do for half a million of people positively; promised to procure a husband for lady Cicely Sulky, and match a coach-horse for brigadier Whip; after that, must run into the city to borrow a thousand for young At-all at Almack's; send a Cheshire cheese by the stage to sir Timothy Tankard in Suffolk; and get at the Herald's Office a coat of arms to clap on the coach of Billy Bengal, a nabob newly arrived : so you see I have not a moment to lose.
Serj. True, true.
Serv. Sir, his grace the duke of
Serv. In his coach at the door.- If you an't better engaged would be glad of your company to go into the city, and take a dinner at Dolly's.
Sir Luke. In his own coach did you say?
Sir Luke. There's no resisting of that.-—Bid Joe run to sir Gregory Goose’s.
Serv. He is already gone to alderman Inkle's.
Sir Luke. Then do you step to the knighthey!--10—you must go to my lord's—hold, hold, no—I have it—Step first to sir Greg's, then pop, in at lord Brentford's just as the company are going to dinner.
Serv. What shall I say to sir Gregory ?
before. Serv. And what to my lord ?
Sir Luke. What !- Why tell him that my uncle from Epsom-no-that won't do, for he knows I don't care a farthing for him-hey!-Why tell him-hold I have it-Tell him, that as I was going into my chair to obey his commands, I was arrested by a couple of bailiffs, forced into a hackney coach, and carried to the Pied Bull in the Borough; I beg ten thousand pardons for making his grace wait, but his
[Exeunt sir Luke and Servant. Char. Well, sir, what dy'e think of the proofs ? I flatter myself Į have pretty well established my case.