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I. Fun. No, I have no fuch defire.

Gruel. Not to lose time; your brother here, (for fuch I find the gentleman is) in other refpects a common man like yourself

Z. Fun. No better.

Gruel. Obferve how altered by means of my art: are you prepared in the speech on the great importance of trade?

Z. Fun. Pretty well, I believe.

Gruel. Let your gefticulations be chafte, and your muscular movements confiftent.

Z. Fun. Never fear

[Enter Jenny, and whispers Mrs. Mechlin.]Mrs. Mechlin, you'll stay?

Mrs. Mech. A little bufinefs, I'll return in an inftant. [Exit Mrs. Mechlin. Gruel. A little here to the left, if you pleafe, fir, there you will only catch his profile-that's right-now you will have the full force of his face; one, two, three; now off you go.

Z. Fun. When I confider the vaft importance of this day's debate; when I revolve the various viciffitudes that this foil has fuftained; when I ponder what our painted progenitors were; and what we, their civilized fucceffors, are; when I reflect, that they fed on crab-apples and chefnuts

Gruel. Pignuts, good fir, if you please.

Z. Fun. You are right; crab-apples and pignuts; and that we feaft on green-peas, and on cuftards when I trace in the recording historical page, that their floods gave them nothing but frogs, and now know we have fifh by land carriage, I am loft in amazement at the prodigious power of commerce. Hail commerce! daughter of industry, confort to credit, parent of opulence, full fifter to

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liberty,

liberty, and great grandmother to the art of navigation

I. Fun. Why this gentlewoman has a pedigree as long as your wife's, brother Zac.

Z. Fun. Prithee Ifaac be quiet-art of navigation-a-a-'vigation.-Zooks, that fellow has put me quite out.

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Gruel. It matters not; this day's performance has largely fulfilled your yesterday's promife.

Z. Fun. But I han't half done, the beft is to, come; let me juft give him that part about turnpegs for the floughs, the mires, the ruts, the impaffable bogs, that the languid, but generòus, fteed travelled through; he now pricks up his ears, he neighs, he canters, he capers through a whole region of turnpegs.

Enter Mrs. MECHLIN.

Mrs. Mech. Your riding-mafter is below.

Z. Fun. Gadfo! then here we must end. You'll pardon me, good Mr. Gruel; for as I want to be a finished gentleman as foon as I can, it is impoffible for me to flick long to any one thing:

Gruel. Sir, Though your exit is rather abrupt, yet the multiplicity of your avocations do, (as I may fay) in fome measure, cicatrife the otherwise mortal wound on this occafion fuftained by deco

rum.

Z. Fun. Cicatrife! I could hear him all day: He is a wonderful man. Well, Mr. Gruel, to morrow we will at it again.

Gruel. You will find me prompt at your flightest

volition.

Z. Fun. I wifh, brother Ifaac, I could have ftaid, you should have heard me oration away like a lawyer,

a lawyer, about pleadings and presidents, but all in good time.[Exit Fungus. Mrs. Mech. This gentleman, fir, will gain you vaft credit.

Gruel. Yes, ma'am, the capabilities of the gentleman, I confefs, are enormous; and as to you I am indebted for this promifing pupil, you will permit me to expunge the obligation by an inftantaneous and gratis lecture on that species of eloquence peculiar to ladies.

Mrs. Mech. Oh, fir, I have no fort of occafion

Gruel. As to that biped, man, (for fuch I define him to be) a male or masculine manner belongs

Mrs. Mech. Any other time, good Mr. Gruel. Gruel. So to that biped, woman, fhe participating of his general nature, the word homo, in Latin, being promifcuously used as woman or

man

Mrs. Mech. For Heaven's fake

Gruel. But being caft in a more tender and delicate mould

Mrs. Mech. Sir, I have twenty people in waiting

Gruel. The foft, fupple, infinuating graces-
Mrs. Mech. I must infist-

Gruel. Do appertain, (as I may fay) in a more peculiar, or particular manner;

Mrs. Mech. Nay, then

Gruel. Her rank, in the order, of entities.Mrs. Mech. I must thrust you out of my house. Gruel. Not calling her forth

Mrs. Mech. Was there ever such a

[pushing him out.

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Re-enter GRUEL.

Gruel. To thofe eminent, hazardous, and (as I may fay) perilous conflicts, which fo oftenMrs. Mech. Get down ftairs, and be hanged to you. [Pufhes him out.]-There he goes, as I live, from the top to the bottom; I hope, I han't done him a mischief: You ar'n't hurt, Mr. Gruel? No, all's fafe; I hear him going on with his fpeech; an impertinent puppy!

1. Fun. Impertinent, indeed, I wonder all thofe people don't turn your head, Mrs. Mechlin.

Mrs. Mech. Oh, I am pretty well used to 'em But who comes here! Mr. Ifaac, if you will ftep into the next room, I have fomething to communicate that well deferves your attention.

[Exit Ifaac Fungus.

Enter SIMON.

Sim. Doctor Catgut at the foot of the stairs. Mrs. Mech. The devil he is! What can have brought him at this time of day? Watch, Simon, that nobody comes up whilft he is here.-[Exit. Simon.]-I hope he has not heard of the pretty prefent we fent him to day.

Enter Dr. CATGUT.,

Dr. Cat. Madam Mechlin, your humble. I have, ma'am, received a couple of compliments from your manfion this morning; one I find from a lodger of your's, the other I prefume from your niece; but for the laft, I rather fuppofe I am indebted to you.

Mrs. Mech. Me! indeed, Doctor, you are widely mistaken; I affure you, fir, fince your bufinefs broke out, I have never fet eyes of her

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Dr. Cat. Then I am falfely informed.

Mrs. Mech. But after all you must own it is but what you deferve. I wonder, Doctor you don't leave off these tricks.

Dr. Cat. Why what can I do, Mrs. Mechlin? my conftitution requires it.

Mrs. Mech. Indeed, I fhould not have thought it.

Dr. Cat. Then the dear little devils are fo defperately fond.

Mrs. Mech. Without doubt.

Dr. Cat. And for frolick, flirtation, diligence, drefs and address

Mrs. Mech. To be fure.

Dr. Cat. For what you call genuine gallantry, few men, I flatter myfelf, will be found that can match me.

Mrs. Mech. Oh, that's a point given up.

Dr. Cat. Hark ye, Molly Mechlin; let me perifh, child, you look divinely to-day.

Mrs. Mech. Indeed!

Dr. Cat. But that I have two or three affairs on my hands, I fhould be pofitively tempted to trifle with thee a little.

Mrs. Mech. Ay, but Doctor, confider I am not of a trifling age, it would be only lofing your time.

Dr. Cat. Ha, fo coy! But a propos, Molly, this lodger of your's; who is he, and what does

he want?

Mrs. Mech. You have heard of the great Mr. Fungus!

Dr. Cat. Well!

Mrs. Mech. Being informed of your fkill and abilities, he has fent for you to teach him to fing.

Dr. Cat.

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