Z. Fun. Ay, my time, brother Ifaac. Why, I han't been at it paffing a couple of months, and we have at our school two aldermen and a ferjeant at law, that were full half a year before they could get out of hand.

Mrs. Mech. Very true, fir.

Z. Fun. There now, Mrs. Mechlin can vouch it. And pray, ma'am, does not master allow, that of my age, I am the most hopeful fcholar he has ?

Mrs. Mech. I can't but fay, Mr. Ifaac, that the 'fquire has made a moft prodigious improvement.

Z. Fun. Do you hear that? I wish we had but a kit, I would fhow you what I could do: one, two, three, ha. One, two, three, ha. There are rifings and finkings.

Mrs. Mech. Ay, marry, as light as a cork.

Z. tun. A'n't it! Why, before next winter is over, he fays, he'll fit me for dancing in public; and who knows but in Lent, you may fee me amble at a Ridotto with an opera finger.

Mrs. Mech. And I warrant he acquits himself as well as the best.

1. Fun. Mercy on me; and pray brother, that thing like a fword in your hand, what may the use of that implement be?

Z. Fun. This! oh, this is a foil.

Z. Fun. Ay, a little inftrument, by which, we who are gentlemen, are inftructed to kill one another.

I. Fun. To kill! Marry, heaven forbid: I hope you have no fuch bloody intentions. Why, brother Zac. you was used to be a peaceable man.

Z. Fun. Ay, that was when I was a paltry me, chanick, and afraid of the law, but now I am another guefs perfon; I have been in camps, can

toons,

toons, and intrenchments: have marched over bridges and breaches; I have feen the Ezel and Wezell; I'm got as rich as a Jew, and if any man dares to affront me, I'll let him know that my trade has been fighting.

I. Fun. Rich as a Jew! Ah, Zac. Zac. but if you had not had another guess trade than fighting, I doubt whether you would have returned altogether fo rich: but now you have got all this wealth, why not fit down and enjoy it in quiet?

Z. Fun. Hark ye, Ifaac, do you purtend to know life? are you acquainted with the Beaux Efprits of the age?

1. Fun. I don't understand you.

Z. Fun. No, I believe not; then how fhould you know what belongs to gentility?

1. Fun. And why not as well as you, brother Zac. I hope I am every whit as well born?

Z. Fun. Ay, Ifaac, but the breeding is all; confider I have been a gentleman above five years and three quarters, and I think should know a little what belongs to the bufinefs; hey, Mrs. Mechlin ?

Mrs. Mech. Very true, Sir.

Z. Fun. And as to this foil, do you know, Ifaac, in what the art of fencing confifts?

I. Fun. How fhould I?

Z. Fun. Why it is fhort; there are but two rules; the first is, to give your antagonist as many thrufts as you can; the fecond, to be careful and receive none yourself.

I. Fun. But how this is to be done?

Z. Fun. Oh, eafy enough: for do you fee, if you can but divert your adverfary's point from the line of your body, it is impoffible he ever should hit you; and all this is done by a little turn of the

wrift, either this way, or that way. But I'll fhow you: John, bring me a foil. Mrs. Mechlin, it will be worth your obferving. Here, brother Ifaac. [Offers him a foil.

I. Fun. Not I.:

Z. Fun. These bourgeois are fo frightful. Mrs. Mechlin, will you, ma'am, do me the favour to pufh at me a little? Mind, brother, when the thrufts at me in carte, I do fo; and when the pushes in tierce, I do fo; and by this means a man is fure to avoid being killed. But it may not be amifs, brother Ifaac, to give you the progrefs of a regular quarrel; and then you will fee what fort of a thing a gentleman is. Now I have been told, do you fée, brother Ifaac, by a friend who has a regard for my honour, that Captain Jenkins, or Hopkins, or Wilkins, or what captain you please, has in public company called me a cuckold→→→→→

I. Fun. A cuckold? But how can, that be? because why, brother Zac. you ben't married. Z. Fun. But as I am just going to be married, that may very well happen you know.

Mrs. Mech. True.

Z. Fun. Yes, yes, the thing is natural enough. Well, the captain has faid I am a cuckold. Upon which, the first time I fet eyes on captain Wilkins, either at Vaux-hall, or at Ranelagh, I açcost him, in a courteous, genteel-like manner.

in a

I. Fun. And that's more than he merits. Z. Fun. Your patience, dear Ifaac courteous, gentleman-like manner; captain Hopkins, your fervant.

I. Fun. Why, you call'd him but now captain Wilkins.

Z. Fun. 'Pfhaw! you blockhead. I tell you the name does not fignify nothing-Your fervant;

fhall

fhall I crave your ear for a moment ? The captain politely replies, Your commands, good Mr. Fungus? then we walk fide by fide-Come here, Mrs, Mechlin.-[They walk up and down]for fome time as civil as can be. Mind brother Ifaac.

Z. Fun. Hey-no, t'other fide, Mrs. Mechlin.that's -that's right-I hear, captain Wilkins I. Fun. I knew it was Wilkins.

Z. Fun. Zounds! Ifaac, be quiet-Wilkins, that you have taken fome liberties about and concerning of me, which damme, I don't under ftand

1. Fun. Don't fwear, brother Zachary.

10

Z. Fun. Did ever mortal hear the like of this fellow! 1. Fun. But you are grown fuch a reprobate fince you went to the wars

Z. Fun. Mrs. Mechlin, ftop the tongue of that blockhead; why, dunce, I am speaking by rule, and Mrs. Mechlin can tell you that duels and damme's go always together.

Mrs. Mech. Oh, always.

Z. Fun. Which, damme, I don't understand. Liberties with you, cries the captain, where, when, and in what manner? Laft Friday night in company at the St. Alban's, you called me a buck, and moreover faid that my horns were exalted. Now, fir, I know very well what was your meaning by that, and therefore demand fatisfaction. That, fir, is what I never deny to a gentleman; but as to you, Mr. Fungus, I can't confent to give you that rank. How, fir, do you deny my gentility! Oh, that affront must be anfwered this inftant Draw, fir. Now pufh, Mrs. Mechlin.

[They

[They fence.

There I parry tierce, there I parry
Hold, hold, have a care,

carte, there I parry

zooks, Mrs. Mechlin.

I. Fun. Ha, ha, ha! I think you have met with your match; well pufhed, Mrs. Mechlin. Z. Fun. Ay, but inftead of pufhing in tierce, the pufhed me in carte, and came fo thick with her thrufts, that it was not in nature to parry them.

1. Fun. Well, well, I am fully convinced of your fkill; but I think, brother Zac, you hinted an intention of marrying, is that your defign? Z. Fun. Undoubtedly.

I. Fun. And when?

Z. Fun. Why this evening.

I. Fun. So fudden? and pray is it a fecret to whom?

Z. Fun. A fecret, no, I am proud of the match; fhe brings me all that I want, her veins full of good blood; fuch a family! fuch an alliance! zooks, fhe has a pedigree as long as the Mall, brother Ifaac, with large trees on each fide, and all the boughs loaded with lords.

I. Fun. But has the lady no name?

Z. Fun. Name! ay, fuch a name, lord, we have nothing like it in London: none of your ftunted little dwarfish words of one fyllable; your Watts, and your Potts, and your Trotts; this rumbles through the throat like a cart with broad wheels. Mrs. Mechlin, you can pronounce it better than

me.

Mrs. Mech. I ady Sachariffa Mackirkincroft.

Z. Fun. Kirkincroft! there are a mouthful of fyllables for you. Lineally defcended from Hercules Alexander Charlemagne Hannibal, Earl of Glendowery,