Mrs. Lov. Because you know, the more children I have by the fecond venture, the greater plague I fhall prove to those I had by the firft.

Mrs. Mech. True ma'am. You had better lean on me to the door; but, indeed, Mrs. Loveit, you are very malicious to your children, very revengeful, indeed.

Mrs. Lov. Ah, they deferve it; you can't think what fad whelps they turn out; no punishment can be too much; if their poor father could but have foreseen they would have-why did I mention the dear man! it melts me too much. Well, peace be with him.-To-morrow about this time, Mrs. Mechlin, will the party be here, think you?

Mrs. Mech. I can't fay.

Mrs. Lov. Well, a good day, good Mrs. Mechlin.

Mrs. Mech. Here, John, take care of your miftrefs. [Exit Mrs. Loveit.]-A good morning to you, ma'am. Jenny, bid Simon come up.-A hufband! there now is a proof of the prudence of age; I wonder they don't add a claufe to the act to prevent the old from marrying clandeftinely as well as the young. I am fure there are as many

unfuitable matches at this time of life as the other.

Enter SIMON.

Shut the door, Simon. Are there any of Mr. Fungus's fervants below?

Sim. Three or four strange faces.

Mrs. Mech. Ay, ay, fome of that troop, I fuppofe; come, Simon, be feated. Well, Simon, as I was telling you; this Mr. Fungus, my lodger above, that has brought home from the wars a whole cart load of money, and who, (between you

and

and I) went there from very little better than a driver of carts

Sim. I formerly knew him, ma'am.

Mrs. Mech. But he does not know you?
Sim. No, no.

Mrs. Mech. I am glad of that-this spark, I fay, not content with being really as rich as a lord, is determined to rival them too in every other accomplishment.

Sim. Will that be fo eafy? why he must be upwards of—

Mrs. Mech. Fifty, I warrant.

Sim. Rather late in life to fet up for a gentle

man.

Mrs. Mech. But fine talents you know, and a ftrong inclination.

Sim. That, indeed.

Mrs. Mech. Then I promise you he spares for no pains.

Sim. Diligent?

Mrs. Mech. Oh, always at it. Learning fomething or other from morning to night; my house is a perfect academy, fuch a throng of fencers, dancers, riders, muficians-but, however, to fweeten the pill, I have a fellow feeling for recommending the teachers.

Sim. No douht, ma'am; that's always the rule. Mrs. Mech. But one of his ftudies is really diverting, I own I can't help laughing at that. Sim. What may that be?

Mrs. Mech. Oratory.-You must know his first ambition is to have a feat in a certain affembly; and in order to appear there with credit, Mr. What d'ye Call'em, the man from the city, attends every morning to give him a lecture upon speaking, and there is fuch harranguing and bel

lowing between them-Lord have mercy uponbut you'll fee enough on't yourfelf; for do you know, Simon, you are to be his valet de

chambre?

Sim. Me, madam!

Mrs. Mech. Ay, his privy counsellor, his confidant, his director in chief.

Sim. To what end will that answer?

Mrs. Mech. There I am coming-You are to know, that our 'Squire Would-be is violently bent upon matrimony; and nothing forfooth will go down but a perfon of rank and condition. Sim. Ay, ay, for that piece of pride he's indebted to Germany.

Mrs. Mech. The article of fortune he holds in utter contempt, a grand alliance is all that he wants; fo that the lady has but her veins full of high blood, he does not care two-pence how low and empty her purfe is.

Sim. But, ma'am, won't it be difficult to meet with a fuitable fubje&t? I believe there are few ladies of quality that

Mrs. Mech. Oh, as to that, I am already provided.

Sim. Indeed!

Mrs. Mech. You know my niece Dolly?

Sim. Very well.

Mrs. Mech. What think you of her?

Sim. Of Mifs Dolly, for what?

Mrs. Mech. For what? you are plaguily dull; why, a woman of fashion, you dunce.

Sim. To be fure Mifs Dolly is very deferving, and few ladies have a better appearance; but, blefs me, madam, here people of rank are fo generally known, that the flightest enquiry would poifon your project.

Mrs,

Mrs. Mech. Oh, Simon, I have no fears from that quarter: there. I think, I am pretty secure. Sim. If that, indeed, be the cafe.

Mrs. Mech. In the first place, Mr. Fungus has an intire reliance on me. Sim. That's fomething. Mrs. Mech. Then to baffle any idle curiofity, we are not derived from any of your new-fangled gentry, who owe their upftart nobility to your Harrys and Edwards. No, no, we are fcions from an older ftock; we are the hundred and fortieth lineal defcendant from Hercules Alexander, earl of Glendowery, prime minister to king Malcolm the First.

Sim. Odfo; a qualification for a Canon of Strasbourg. So then it feems you are tranfplanted from the banks of the Tweed; Cry you mercy But how will Mifs Dolly be able to manage the accent!

y!

Mrs. Mech. Very well; fhe was two years an actress in Edenborough.

Sim. That's true; is the overture made, has there been any interview?

1

Mrs. Mech. Several; we have no diflike to his perfon; can't but own he is rather agreeable; and as to his propofals, they are greater than we could defire; but we are prudent and careful, fay nothing without the Earl's approbation.

Sim. Oh, that will be easily had.

Mrs. Mech. Not fo eafily; and now comes your part but first, how goes the world with you, Simon?

Sim. Never worfe! The ten bags of tea, and the cargo of brandy, them peering rafcals took from me in Suffex, has quite broken my back.

Mrs. Mech. Poor Simon! why then I am afraid there's an end of your traffick.

Sim. Totally for now thofe fellows have got the Isle of Man in their hands, I have no chance to get home, Mrs. Mechlin.

Mrs. Mech. Then you are intirely at leifure? Sim. As a Bath turnfpit in the month of July. Mrs. Mech. You are then, Simon, an old family fervant in waiting here on the lady; but difpatched to the North with a view to negotiate the treaty, you are juft returned with the noble Peer's refolution. Prepare you a fuitable equipage, I will provide you with a couple of letters, one for the lover and one for the lady

Sim. The contents

Mrs. Mech. Oh, you may read them within: now with regard to any questions, I will furnishe you with fuitable answers; but you have a bungler to deal with, fo your cards will be eafily played.

Enter JENNY.

Jen. Mifs Dolly, ma'am, in a hackney coach at the corner; may fhe come in?

Mrs. Mech. Are the fervants out of the way

Jen. Oh, fhe is fo muffled up and difguifed, that she'll run no danger from them.

Mrs. Mech. Be fure keep good watch at the door, Jenny.

Jen. Oh, never fear, ma'am.

[Exit Jenny.

Mrs. Mech. Simon, take those two letters that are under the furthermoft cushion in the window, run home, get a dirty pair of boots on, a great coat, and a whip, and be here with them in half an hour at fartheft.