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Mrs. Lov. Because you know, the more children i have by the second venture, the greater plague I shall prove to those I had by the first.
Mrs. Mech. True ma'am. You had better lean on me to the door; but, indeed, Mrs. Loveit, you are very malicious to your children, very revengeful, indeed.
Mrs. Lov. Ah, they deserve it; you can't think what sad whelps they turn out; no punishment can be too much; if their poor father could but have foreseen they would have—why did I mention the dear man! it melts me too much. Well, peace be with him.-To-morrow about this time, Mrs. Mechlin, will the party be here, think you?
Mrs. Mech. I can't say. Mrs. Lov. Well, a good day, good Mrs. Mechlin.
Mrs. Meth. Here, John, take care of your mistress.--[Exit Mrs. Loveit.}-A good morning to you, ma'am. · Jenny, bid Simon come up.-A husband ! there now is a proof of the prudence of age; I wonder they don't add a clause to the act to prevent the old from marrying clandestinely as well as the young. I am sure there are as many unsuitable matches at this time of life as the other.
Enter Simon. Shut the door, Simon. Are there any of Mr. Fungus's servants below ?
Sim. Three or four strange faces.
Mrs. Mech. Ay, ay, some of that troop, I fuppose; come, Simon, be seated. --Well, Simon, as I was telling you ; this Mr. Fungus, my lodger above, that has brought home from the wars a whole cart load of money, and who, (between you
and I) went there from very little better than a driver of carts
Sim. I formerly knew him, ma'am.
Mrs. Mech. I am glad of that--this spark, I say, not content with being really as rich as a lord, is determined to rival them too in every other accomplishment.
Sim. Will that be so easy? why he must be upwards of
Mrs. Mech. Fifty, I warrant.
Sim. Rather late in life to set up for a gentleman.
Mrs. Mech. But fine talents you know, and a strong inclination.
Sim. That, indeed.-
Mrs. Mech. Then I promise you he spares for no pains.
Mrs. Mech. Oh, always at it. Learning something or other from morning to night; my house is a perfect academy, such a throng of fencers, dancers, riders, musicians—but, however, to fweeten the pill, I have a fellow feeling for recommending the teachers.
Sim. No douht, ma'am; that's always the rules
Mrs. Mech. But one of his studies is really diverting, I own I can't help laughing at that.
Sim. What may that be?
Mrs. Mech. Oratory.-You must know his first ambition is to have a seat in a certain assembly ; and in order to appear there with credit, Mr. What d'ye Call'em, the man from the city, attends every morning to give him a lecture upon speaking, and there is such harranguing and bel
lowing between then-Lord have mercy upon but you'll see enough on't yourself; for do you know, Simon, you are
to be his valet de chambre?
Sim. Me, madam!
Mrs. Mech. Ay, his privy counsellor, his confidant, his director in chief.
Sim. To what end will that answer ?
Mrs. Mech. There I am coming-You are to know, that our 'Squite Would-be is violently bent upon matrimony; and nothing forsooth will go down but a person of rank and condition.
Sim. Ay, ay, for that piece of pride he's indebted to Germany.
Mrs. Mech. The article of fortune he holds in utter contempt, a grand alliance is all that he wants; so that the lady has but her veins full of high blood, he does not care two-pence how low and empty her purse is.
Sim. But, ma'am, won't it be disficult to meet with a suitable subject ? I believe there are few ladies of quality that
Mrs. Mech. Oh, as to that, I am already provided.
Sim. To be sure Miss Dolly is very deserving, and few ladies have a better appearance ; but, bless me, madam, here people of rank are so generally known, that the slightest enquiry would poison your project.
Mrs. Mech. Oh, Simon, I have no fears from that quarter: there. I think, I am pretty secure.
Sim. If that, indeed, be the case.
Mrs. Mech. In the first place, Mr. Fungus has an intire reliance on me.
Sim. That's something.
Mrs. Mech. Then to baffle any idle curiosity, we are not derived from any of your new-fangled gentry, who owe their upstart nobility to your Harrys and Edwards. No, no, we are scions from an older stock; we are the hundred and fortieth lineal descendant from Hercules Alexander, earl of Glendowery, prime minister to king Malcolm the First.
Sim. Odso; a qualification for a Canon of Strasbourg. So then it seems you are transplanted from the banks of the, Tweed; Cry you mercy! But how will Miss Dolly be able to manage the accent!
Mrs. Mech. Very well, she was two years an actress in Edenborough.
Sim. That's true; is the overture made, has there been any interview?
Mrs. Mech. Several; we have no dislike to his person ; can't but own he is rather agreeable ; and as to his proposals, they are greater than we could desire ; but we are prudent and careful, fay nothing without the Earl's approbation.
Sim. Oh, that will be easily had.
Mrs. Mech. Not so easily; and now comes your part : but first, how goes the world with you, Simon ?
Sim. Never worse! The ten bags of tea, and the cargo of brandy, them peering rascals took from me in Sussex, has quite broken my back.
Mrs. Mech. Poor Simon! why then I am afraid there's an end of your traffick. 7
Şim. Totally : for now those fellows have got the Isle of Man in their hands, I have no chance to get home, Mrs. Mechlin.
Mrs. Mech. Then you are intirely at leifure ? Sim. As a Bath turnspit in the month of July.
Mrs. Mech. You are then, Simon, an old family fervant in waiting here on the lady ; but difpatched to the North with a view to negotiate the treaty, you are just returned with the noble Peer's resolution. Prepare you a suitable equipage, I will provide you with a couple of letters, one for the lover and one for the lady
Sim. The contents
Mrs. Mech. Oh, you may read them within : now with regard to any questions, I will furnish you with suitable answers; but you have a bungler to deal with, so your cards will be easily played.
Enter JENNY. Fen. Miss Dolly, ma’am, in a hackney coach at the corner'; 'may she come in ?
Mrs. Mech. Are the servants out of the way ?
Fen. Oh, she is so muffled up and disguised, that she'll run no danger from them.
Mrs. Mech. Be sure keep good watch at the door, Jenny.
Fen. Oh, never fear, ma'am. [Exit Jenny. Mrs. Mech. Simon, take those two letters that are under the furthermoft cushion in the window, run home, get a dirty pair of boots on, a great coat, and a whip, and be here with them in half an hour at farthest.