• Enter JENNY.

Jenny. Sir, Mr. Jenkins

Har. Oh, child, your instructions shall be administered within.

Jenny. Mr. Jenkins has open'd your design, and I am ready and able to execute my part.

Har. My dear, I have not the least doubt of either your inclination or ability--But, pox take this old fellow! what in the devil's name can • bring him back? Scour, Jenny.

Enter Sir GREGORY.

Sir Greg. Cousin, I beg pardon; but I have a ♦ favour to beg-Good now, could not you make interest at some coffee-house in London, to buy, for a small matter, the old books of newspapers, and send them into the country to me? They • would pass away the time rarely in a rainy dayHar. Sir, I'll send you a cart-load.

Sir Greg. Good now, good now! Ten thousand thanks!-You are a cousin indeed. But, pray, cousin, let us, good now, see some of the works of that same fool?

• Har. I'll send them you all; but a

Sir Greg. What, all ?---Lack-a-day, that's • kind, cousin!-The Terra-incognita-both the Needles- a great deal of that!--But what bishop is to be Pope?

• Har. Zounds, Sir, I am in haste for your let'ter-When I return, ask as many questions—

• Sir Greg. Good now, good now! that's true— I'll in, and about it.But, cousin, the Pope is not to have Gibraltar ?

Har. No, no; damn it, no! As none but the Fool could say it, so none but ideots would believe • him.——Pray, Sir Gregory

Sir Greg. Well, well, cousin, lack-a-day! you are so-but pray

Har. Damn your praying! If you don't finish your letter immediately, you may carry it your

• self.

Sir Greg. Well, well, cousin! Lack-a-day, you are in such a-good now, I go, I go.

Har. But if the truth should be discover'd, I shall be inevitably disappointed.

• Sir Greg. But, cousin, are Scilly rocks—— • Har. I wish they were in your guts with all my heart. I must quit the field, I find.

[Exit. Sir Greg. Wonderful! good now, good now! · a passionate man! Lack-a-day, I am glad the Pope is not to have Gibraltar though.'

[Exit.

THE END OF THE FIRST ACT.

ACT II.

SCENE I.-Sir GREGORY, and TIM reading news to him, discovered.

CONSTANTINOR

Seigniour

Tim.

ANTINOPLE, N. S. Nov. 15, the grand

-

Sir Greg. Lack-a-day! good now, Tim, the politics, child and read the stars, and the dashes, and the blanks, as I taught you, Tim.

Tim. Yes, father-We can assure our readers, that the D― dash is to go to F blank: and that a certain noble L-is to resign his p-e in the

in order to make room for the two three stars.

Sir Greg. Wonderful: good now, good now! great news, Tim! Ah, I knew the two three stars would come in play one time or other. This London Evening knows more than any of them. Well, child, well.

Tim. From the D. J.

Sir Greg. Ay, that's the Dublin Journal. Go on, Tim.

Tim. Last Saturday, a gang of highwaymen broke into an empty house on Ormond quay, and stripp'd it of all the furniture.

Sir Greg. Lack-a-day, wonderful! To what a height these rogues are grown!

C

Tim. The way to Mr. Keith's chapel, is turn of your

Sir Greg. Psha! skip that, Tim; I know that road as well as the doctor: 'tis in every time.

Tim. J. Ward, at the coat-lane, makes tabby all

Cat and Gridiron, Pettiover for people inclined

to be crooked; and if he was to have the universal world for making a pair of stays, he could not put better stuff in them

Sir Greg. Good now; where's that, Tim?
Tim. At the Cat and Gridiron, father.

Sir Greg. I'll minute that: All my lady Isard's children, good now, are inclined to be crooked.

Enter a DRAWER.

Draw. Sir, Mr. Jenkins begs to speak with you. Sir Greg. Good now; desire him to walk in.

Enter JENKINS.

Jenk. I thought it might not be improper to prepare you for a visit from Sir Penurious Trifle. I saw him and his daughter alight at the apothecary's above.

Sir Greg. What, they are come? Wonderful? Very kind, very kind, very kind, indeed, Mr. Come, Tim, settle my cravat: good now, let's be a little decent.-Remember your best bow to your mistress, Tim.

Tim. Yes, father! but must not I kiss Miss Suck?

Sir Greg. Lack-a-day, ay, ay. Pray, is cousin Hartop come along?

Jenk. I have not seen him; but I fancy I had better introduce my neighbours.

Sir Greg. Good now, would you be so kind. [ Exit. Jenkins.) Stand behind me, Tim-Pull down your ruffles, child.

Tim. But, father, won't Miss Suck think me bold if I kiss her chops the first time?

Sir Greg. Lack-a day, no, Tim, no. Faint heart never won fair lady. Ha, Tim, had you but seen me attack dame Winny! But times ar'n't as they were. Good now, we were another kind of folks in those days; stout hearty smacks, that wou'd ha' made your mouth water again; and the mark stood upon the pouting lip like the print upon a pound of butter. But the master-misses of the present age go, lack-a-day, as gingerly about it, as if they were afraid to fill their mouths with the paint upon their mistresses cheeks. Ah, the days I have seen!

Tim. Nay, father, I warrant, if that's all, I kiss her hearty enow, fath and sole !

Sir Greg. Hush, Tim, hush! Stand behind me, child.

Enter HARTOP as Sir PENURIOUS TRIFLF, and JENNY as Miss SUKEY, and JENKINS.

Sir Greg. Sir Penurious, I am overjoy'd!-Good

now!

Har. Sir Gregory, I kiss your hand. My daughter Suck.

Sir Greg. Wonderful!-Miss, I am proud to― Son Tim-Sir Penurious-Best bow, child-Miss Suck

C 2