48

In a scholarship paper set at Lincoln one question was, Compare Marius and Cæsar.' To this one answer was, 'Marius, magis Marius, maxime Marius; Cæsar, Cæsarior, Cæsarimus.'

6

The same gentleman who did the deed just narrated, also quoted a well known line thus, Parturiunt montes, pariunt tum ridiculum mum.' He is a great wag! After he came out from viva voce, he was heard to say that he would never again go in for a scholarship, not even if he lived to pass Smalls.

Character of Solon.-Solon was a cruel man he burned Croesus in a brazen bull and sprinkled the ashes to the wind. He also told stories to Herodotus. But we ought not to judge him by a modern standard.

The criterion of myth and history. The criterion of myth is old inscriptions: that of history is in Piccadilly (Spiers and Pond).

TO

-MAINE'S ANCIENT LAW.

to the ancients. Conington suggests 'Crimen amo vestrum', "I love your hair," or, in modern phrase, "I'll have your hat."

What is meant by the expression "Punica fides.' This phrase means "Jewish credit" and shews how early the Jews were notorious as money lenders: they were called 'punici' from their contemptible appearance. But it is the only passage where the words occur, one MS has "Tunica fides," "apron-strings," a term of reproach equivalent to our "fiddle-stick."

Who was Cleon? A performing monkey of the East.

Belfry (an ancient jest). Goodfellow.

people who can read and write and collect the sayings of others. Still it will not be very large and we may perhaps add some who will laugh at the jokes, and others who will say Hear, hear.' And there will be a librarian who shall see that no new books be bought until the readers have gone through the old ones very often, or if he do get new books they will be such as no person can read."

"It seems that our Society will be somewhat large."

"Besides this our Society cannot be so situated as not to need imports: for in dry weather, when the speaker is tedious, there will be need of ices and coffee, and such like. So we must have a servant to convey such things: and he must not go away empty-handed, but there will be coffee-tickets and silver or copper and other articles for exchange. Thus we require many agents."

"So it seems."

"And those who write will ask for a letter carrier perhaps, for if all do go together to the Post Office there will be a town and gown row. Thus we have many different classes, and I wonder with which of all these was moderation and good sense introduced."

"Perhaps we can tell if we look at their mutual relations."

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Very likely for these people will consume smoke and wear four-cornered hats; and in summer they will go about without their waistcoats, but in winter they will have great coats. And they will read, I suppose, the Times, or F'un, or look at printed pictures. And spreading these out on soft cushioned seats they will lean over them and make merry, they and young women in the gallery who wear bonnets; and they will talk shop, and applaud the popular speakers, not creating a disturbance beyond decorum, through a prudent fear of being rebuked. And some speakers they will call bores, and they will go and take tea and cigarettes in moderation, and play chess-but they do not play that they may make moneyand then they will return with their hats. on their heads, and the rest will say 'Order,' and arouse a noise."

Upon this Robin exclaimed, " Why, Little John, if you were describing a playground for schoolboys, this is just how they would wrangle with one another."

LITTLE JOHN.

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THE Commissioners appointed by your Majesty to enquire into the present condition of the University of Oxford in presenting their final Report to your Majesty have to propose a large number of reforms in the working and management of the University, some of which seem to them absolutely indispensable if the University of Oxford is to continue to be, as it always has been, the centre of intellectual life in England, while other changes which they have to recommend your Majesty to sanction are equally necessary to prevent the University from becoming merely a party, and not a national, institution.

Your Commissioners have therefore to recommend to your Majesty :

(I.) That in lieu of the present names of Colleges a system of Alphabetical nomenclature be adopted. Thus University College will be henceforward known as A College, Balliol as B, Merton as C, &c.

The advantages of this proposed alteration are two: (a) much unnecessary trouble will be avoided; (B) the prejudices which many persons feel against the names of certain Colleges as recalling the superstitions of a bygone age will by this simple means be obviated.

(II.) Considering the progress of reli

gious liberty and free thought, and the great claims which Nonconformists have on the revenues of the University, your Commissioners recommend that henceforth no member of the Church of England shall be allowed to hold any office, Headship, Tutorship or Fellowship in the University of Oxford.

(III.) Your Commissioners have to lament the differences of feeling which exist between the members of different Colleges, and therefore propose that certain Colleges shall be amalgamated and so the tone of the University be reduced to a dead level, e.g. Christ Church might be incorporated with Jesus, and Keble with Balliol.

(IV.) The paramount claims of Physical Science have been too long neglected by the University, and, in some degree to remedy this, your Commissioners recommend that some of the chapels which are attached to the Colleges should be converted into Science Lecture-rooms, while the stipends which have been paid to Chaplains should be devoted to the foundation of new Professorships.

(V.) Considering that Convocation, Congregation and the Hebdomadal Council are equally incompetent, your Commissioners would propose that they should be abolished and in their place a new Go

verning Body be established to be elected by all the members of the University, Undergraduates and Graduates alike; by this means they hope to be able to discover the real feeling of the University on any particular subject, which is impossible under the present system.

(VI.) But the most important change your Commissioners have to recommend is in the management of the revenues of the University. They propose that the revenues at present in the hands of the University be assumed by the State, and be devoted to the purchase of land on which families (especially those of deceased Communists) should be settled as peasant proprietors, while the financial arrangements of the University shall be managed by a Limited Liability Company, to whom all the buildings, fixtures, &c., belonging to the Colleges shall be handed

over at a fixed valuation. By this simple expedient a greater degree of economy and comfort will be ensured to the members of the University, while England will, as she always has done, lead the van of civil and religious freedom by providing land gratis for the scum and outcasts of all nations.

These are briefly the chief reforms your Commissioners have to recommend to your Majesty, and they feel confident that though they may perhaps wound the prejudice of a few intolerant bigots they will nevertheless be found conducive to the interests not only of British citizens but of the world generally,

(Signed) MUDDleborough.

BRUTUS MAZZINI SMITH.
I. C. NEWLYTE, Professor.
C. W. TINKE, M.P.