XXXIII.

"Gad! he 's obliged to stick to business!
For chalk, I hear, stands at a pretty price;
And as for aqua vitæ―there's a mess!
The dentes sapientiæ of mice

Our barber tells me too are on the rise,-
Tinder 's a lighter article,-nitre pure
Goes off like lightning,-grains of Paradise
At an enormous figure!-stars not sure!
Zodiac will not move without a slight douceur !

XXXIV.

"Venus won't stir a peg without a fee,
And master is too partial entre nous

To-" "Hush-hush!" cried Eban, "sure that is he
Coming down stairs,-by St. Bartholomew !

As backwards as he can,-is 't something new?

Or is 't his custom, in the name of fun?"

"He always comes down backward, with one shoe Return'd the porter-" off, and one shoe on,

Like, saving shoe for sock or stocking, my man John!"

XXXV.

It was indeed the great Magician,

Feeling, with careful toe, for every stair,

And retrograding careful as he can,

Backwards and downwards from his own two pair :

Salpietro!" exclaimed Hum, "is the dog there?

He's always in my way upon the mat!"

"He's in the kitchen, or the Lord knows where,"

Replied the Swiss," the nasty, whelping brat!"

"Don't beat him!" return'd Hum, and on the floor came pat.

XXXVI.

Then facing right about, he saw the Page,

And said: "Don't tell me what you want, Eban;
The Emperor is now in a huge rage,——

'Tis nine to one he 'll give you the rattan!
Let us away!" Away together ran

The plain-dress'd sage and spangled blackamoor,
Nor rested till they stood to cool, and fan,

And breathe themselves at th' Emperor's chamber door, When Eban thought he heard a soft imperial snore.

XXXVII.

"I thought you guess'd, foretold, or prophesied,
That 's Majesty was in a raving fit."

"He dreams," said Hum, " or I have ever lied,
That he is tearing you, sir, bit by bit."
"He's not asleep, and you have little wit,"
Replied the Page, "that little buzzing noise,
Whate'er your palmistry may make of it,
Comes from a plaything of the Emperor's choice,
From a Man-Tiger-Organ, prettiest of his toys."

XXXVIII.

Eban then usher'd in the learned Seer:
Elfinan's back was turn'd, but, ne'ertheless,
Both, prostrate on the carpet, ear by ear,
Crept silently, and waited in distress,
Knowing the Emperor's moody bitterness;
Eban especially, who on the floor 'gan
Tremble and quake to death,--he feared less

A dose of senna-tea, or nightmare Gorgon,

Than the Emperor when he play'd on his Man-Tiger-Organ.

XXXIX.

They kiss'd nine times the carpet's velvet face
Of glossy silk, soft, smooth, and meadow-green,
Where the close eye in deep rich fur might trace
A silver tissue, scantly to be seen,

As daisies lurk'd in June-grass, buds in green;
Sudden the music ceased, sudden the hand
Of majesty, by dint of passion keen,

Doubled into a common fist, went grand,

And knock'd down three cut glasses, and his best ink-stand.

XL.

Then turning round, he saw those trembling two:
"Eban," said he, " as slaves should taste the fruits
Of diligence, I shall remember you
To-morrow, or next day, as time suits,
In a finger conversation with my mutes,—
Begone!-for you, Chaldean! here remain;
Fear not, quake not, and as good wine recruits
A conjurer's spirits, what cup will you drain?
Sherry in silver, hock in gold, or glass'd champagne ?"

XLI.

"Commander of the faithful!" answer'd Hum,
"In preference to these, I'll merely taste

A thimble-full of old Jamaica rum.”

"A simple boon!" said Elfinan, "thou may'st

Have Nantz, with which my morning-coffee's laced."* "I'll have a glass of Nantz, then," said the Seer,— "Made racy-(sure my boldness is misplaced!)With the third part-(yet that is drinking dear!)Of the least drop of crème de citron crystal clear."

* "Mr. Nisby is of opinion that laced coffee is bad for the head."-Spectator.

XLII.

"I pledge you, Hum! and pledge my dearest love,
My Bertha!" "Bertha! Bertha !" cried the sage,
"I know a many Berthas!" "Mine's above

All Berthas!" sighed the Emperor. "I engage,"
Said Hum, "in duty, and in vassalage,

To mention all the Berthas in the earth ;

There's Bertha Watson,-and Miss Bertha Page,This famed for languid eyes, and that for mirth,There's Bertha Blount of York,—and Bertha Knox of Perth."

XLIII.

"You seem to know ”—“I do know," answer'd Hum,
"Your Majesty's in love with some fine girl

Named Bertha; but her surname will not come,
Without a little conjuring." ""Tis Pearl,

'Tis Bertha Pearl! What makes my brains so whirl? And she is softer, fairer than her name!"

"Where does she live ?" ask'd Hum.

"Her fair locks curl

So brightly, they put all our fays to shame!Live-O! at Canterbury, with her old granddame."

XLIV.

"Good! good!” cried Hum," I've known her from a child! She is a changeling of my management;

She was born at midnight in an Indian wild;

Her mother's screams with the striped tiger's blent,

While the torch-bearing slaves a halloo sent

Into the jungles; and her palanquin,

Rested amid the desert's dreariment,

Shook with her agony, till fair were seen

The little Bertha's eyes ope on the stars serene."

XLV.

"I can't say," said the monarch, "that may be
Just as it happen'd, true or else a bam!
Drink up your brandy, and sit down by me,
Feel, feel my pulse, how much in love I am;
And if your science is not all a sham,
Tell me some means to get the lady here."
"Upon my honor!" said the son of Cham,*
"She is my dainty changeling, near and dear,
Although her story sounds at first a little queer."

XLVI.

"Convey her to me, Hum, or by my crown,
My sceptre, and my cross-surmounted globe,
I'll knock you" "Does your majesty mean-down?
No, no, you never could my feelings probe
To such a depth!" The Emperor took his robe,
And wept upon its purple palatine,

While Hum continued, shamming half a sob,

"In Canterbury doth your lady shine?

But let me cool your brandy with a little wine.”

XLVII.

Whereat a narrow Flemish glass he took,
That since belong'd to Admiral De Witt,
Admired it with connoisseuring look,

And with the ripest claret crowned it,
And, ere the lively head could burst and flit,
He turn'd it quickly, nimbly upside down,

His mouth being held conveniently fit

To catch the treasure: "Best in all the town!"

He said, smack'd his moist lips, and gave a pleasant frown.

* Cham is said to have been the inventor of magic. Lucy learnt this from Bayle's Dictionary, and had copied a long Latin note from that work.