now to have Lap Dogs, and to dress them with ribbands; when the gallants used to compli ment them on the choice and beauty of their pigs. It happened that a gentleman going to pay his court to a lady, on entering the room, faw her Guinea Pig on the couch, when he thus began his addreffes, "that he wished to be that Guinea Pig to gruntle in the mire of her affections.". N. B. The above fashion was brought from Spain. Vide the Lady's Travels into Spain, by the Countess D'Anois.

Old General Armiger died on his wedding night: On the Queen's afking Lady B. L. the diforder which brought about his sudden death, her Ladyship answered, "It was the NightMare."

One afking why the feathers of the Friezeland Hens grew the wrong way? Was told,-Because they came with their tails first when they were hatcht.

Garrick walking one day upon the Boulevards at Paris, with the famous Preville, the first comic actor of the French theatre; to amufe themselves, and fome of their friends, they imitated

tated two drunken men fo well, that the com pany scampered away to avoid them; when Garrick, in the midst of the career, in a loud whisper, faid to his companion, Preville, votre pied droit n'est pas assez yore mettez y la moindre Ide'e de plus, i. e. Preville, your right foot is not drunk enough; afford it the leaft idea of a fhade more.

Sir E. Hs, commander of a ship of war, having a mortal antipathy to a Cat; ordered a failor to be flogged with a Cat of Nine Tails; when the culprit before the execution of the sentence took place, begged leave to speak to the Captain; on its being granted, he spoke thefe lines extempore;

Your Honour's averfion is mine;
If a Cat with one tail

Makes your heart to fail,

A Cat with nine makes mine.

In the remarkable law cafe of Stradling verfus Styles, the merits, when they came to be argued, appeared to be as follows:-An uncle to whom Styles was heir, had left Stradling by his will all his black and white horfes. It happened, after

his death, that the uncle had fix black, fix white, and fix pye-ball'd, or fpotted black and white; Styles's counfel maintained that the fix white and the fix black horfes only, were the property of Stradling. The latter's counsel on the other hand argued (and it was determined in his favour) that all the horses belonged to his client, because, said he, the teftator has devifed to him all his black, all his white, and all his black and white horfes.

When funeral fermons were in fashion, a farmer who had loft his wife applied to the rector of the parish for one on the occafion, and asked the damage. The rector faid, "A plain difcourfe was half a guinea; but one with Latin fentences would be a guinea."The countryman aftonished, afked whence arose the difference; when the rector candidly explained it thus: "Look-ye John," fays he, "you must know we go to the College to lay in a flock of Latin, which cofts our parents a round fum, and we feldom are in pocket again by dealing it out in fmall parcels;" at which John was fatisfied and it was fettled to have one preached at the Latin price, as he faid "he had lost the best of wives, and was willing to do handfome by her me. mory."

A

A Sailor feeing his comrade in the stocks, "Jack," fays he, "'tis impoffible that you fhould be in the ftocks." "Tis very true,

Tom," replied Jack, "but look at my legs."

When Whitfield became fo popular a character, it was agitated in the Privy Council, that fome method fhould be used to stop his preaching: Lord Chesterfield being present, turned on his heel, and faid, "Make him a Bishop, and you will filence him at once."

An old gentleman having received some favourable glances from a rich and brifk widow of the name of Salmon, was advised to be more attentive. "Mind your hits," faid a friend, "fhe will certainly bite." "She may fo," said the gentleman, "but my rod is not ftrong enough to hold her."

Archdeacon B. a little dapper man, preached upon these words: A little while and you fall not fee me, and again a little while and you fhall fee me: St. John, xvi. 16. Being mounted ppon a high haffock, he delivered his text with fuch vehemence, that he fell down in the pulpit ; on which an old woman archly faid, "our Archdeacon follows his notes very closely."

Α

A rough-hewn seaman being brought before a Welch justice for fome misdemeanor, was by him fent to prison, and behaving somewhat refractory after he had heard his doom, he would not ftir a foot from the place where he ftood, and faid it was better to stand where he was, than go to a worfe place. The Juft-afs thereupon, to fhew the ftrength of his learning, took him by the fhoulder, and faid, "Thou shalt go, Nogus. Vogus," instead of Nolens Volens.

Dionyfius the elder, when he saw his fon in many things very inordinate, said to him, "Did you ever know me do fuch things?" His fon anfwered, "No, but you had not a tyrant to your father." The father replied, "No, nor you, if you take these courfes, will have a tyrant to your fon."

A Gentleman obferving on the smartness of C. F. while he was yet a lad; another, who was ftanding by obferved, that when children dif covered fo much genius in their early years they generally grow very ftupid when they come to maturity. "If that is the cafe," faid C. F. "then you must have been remarkable for your genius when you were a child."