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It is the custom in Italy to compliment their friends and acquaintance, when a Vena Section takes place, or they breathe a vein. A Lady fent her admirer a pair of turtle doves as a prefent on the occafion. He returned for anfwer, that it was not poffible any peace offering could atone for the wound she had made in his heart.

A City Alderman's Lady being at a rout, at the Weft end of the town, London, was afked to take a hand at cards, fhe replied, fhe could not play wifk, but had no objection to kadril. A party fat down. The Alderman's Lady hap pened to be the eldeft hand and began with "I ax;" the fecond lady humourously replied, "Madam I had a good hand but your ax has cut it to pieces,"

Parfons, the Brewer, hunting with the late King of France, was mounted on a fine English hunter; the King afked who that Englishman was. They told his Majefty he was a Chevalier de Malt. i. e. Malthe,

The King of France having given a public Dejeune in the Royal Gardens at Paris, two English Gentlemen walking upon the Terras,

in converfation together, faw the King at a distance, with his arms round a favorite miftrefs. One of them faid, where fhall we dine to day, George, at the King's Arms they are full already, look ye. will dine at the King's Head. heart, that is empty enough, I'll answer for it.

as ufual? Nay,

Why, then, we

Ay, with all my

Cardinal de Retz, after his recal from banish. ment, threw himfelf at the King of France's feet; the King lifted him up and faid, "Cardinal, you are grey-headed." On which he replied, Sire, my hair inftantly grew grey when I incurred your Majefty's displeasure.'

Mr. lay in fo dangerous a way, that his friend fent to inquire after his health, attended with a meffage that he would pray for his recovery: the answer was, he defired that he would not, as he was a wicked fellow fo far his prayers from being of avail, might be the means of bringing an old house over his head and haften his departure.

There was a Minifter deprived for inconformity, who faid to fome of his friends that if they deprived him it fhould coft an hundred

men's

men's lives. The party understood as if being á turbulent fellow he would have moved fedition, and complained of him. Whereupon being met to confider upon that fpeech, he faid his meaning was, that if he loft his benefice he would practice phyfic, and then he thought he should kill an hundred men in time,

Mifs W, commonly called Peg, on leaving the Ball-Room at York, from age and infirmity was near finking in the croud, when a young Officer by a well-timed activity recovered lier in the act of falling. "To whom am I obliged," fays the old Lady. The Officer replied, "Cornet H, of the Queen's Bays, has had the honour of taking you by the hand. "Go then to your corps," fays Peg, "and tell them you have this evening picked up, in York Affembly, one of the greatest fortunes in the North of England.

A Man faid, "He would not go on the fea, because all his ancestors were drowned." Another replied, "If they had died in their beds, he might fay, he would not go to bed for the fame reafon."

A

A Vicar in France planted mulberry trees in the church-yard, which turned to fo good ac. count by the fale of the leaves, that he erected a mausoleum with the money, and placed this infcription over the door: Mori Lucrum.N. B. Morum is Latin for a mulberry.

The Court of France waited upon the King, on the birth of the Duke of Burgundy. His Majefty was fo overjoyed on the occafion that he received them without ceremony; the Guards were difiniffed, and all were welcome to kifs his hand. Among the reft was the Marquis of Spinola, who, in the ardour of respect, bit his Majesty's finger, on which the King started, when S. begged pardon, and said in his defence, if he had not done fo, his Majesty would not have noticed him.

A Traveller speaking of the many countries and cities he had feen. One of the company asked him if he had ever been in Cofmography? He taking it for the name of a city, faid "We faw it at a distance, but as we went poft we could not vifit it."

One afked a Gentleman why he married a deaf wife; he said "In hopes fhe was also dumb!"

A Gentleman married a Lady who was de formed and had a large fortune; when it was faid, that her husband had taken her by weight and had paid nothing for fashion.

Lord M, advanced in years, married a young girl; when his friends rallied him upon it, and how he could poffibly expect at his years to poffefs the heart of fo young a female. He replied, "That he had rather poffefs a corner of her heart, than the whole heart of an old wo. man, who was tottering into the grave like himfelf."

Garrick used to say that Dibdin's Piano Forte was the greatest cheat in the world; for with all the advantages of the best fingers, nothing ever, in his idea, conveyed fuch effect as that gentleman's finging and accompanying his own

mufic.

A Quack Doctor fent for a Farrier to look at his horfe; after the horfe was found, the Doctor asked the man what he was indebted for his cure? He replied, "You know it is a rule never to take fees of the Profeffion."

Judge