judgment in error at the Common Pleas; sue out of the Exchequer a writ of que minus, and surrender in banco regis the defendant, before the return of the sci fa, to discharge the bail.

Crab. Prithee, man, none of thy unintelligible law jargon to me; but tell me in the language of common sense, and thy country, what I am to do.

Lat. Why, Mr. Crab, as you are already possessed of a probat, and letters of administration de bonis are granted, you may sue, or, be sued; I hold it sound doctrine for no executor to discharge debts, without a receipt upon record: this can be obtained by no means but by an action. Now, actions, sir, are of various kinds, there are special actions, actions on the case, or assumpsit's, actions of trover, actions of clausum fregit, actions of battery, actions of —

Crab. Hey, the devil, where's the fellow running now? But hark'ee, Latitat, why I thought all our law proceedings were directed to be in English.

Lat. True, Mr. Crab.

Crab. And what do you call all this stuff, ha!
Lat. English.

Crab. The devil you do.

Lat. Vernacular, upon my honour, Mr. Crab. For as lord Coke describes the common law, to be the perfection

Crab. So, here's a fresh deluge of impertinence. A truce to thy authorities, I beg; and as I find it will be impossible to understand thee without an interpreter, if you will meet me at five, at Mr. Brief's chambers, why, if you have any thing to say, he will translate it for me.

Lat. Mr. Brief, sir, and translate, sir!-Sir, I would have you to know, that no practitioner in Westminster Hall, gives clearer

Crab. Sir, I believe it; for which reason I have

referred you to a man who never goes into Westminster Hall.

Lat. A bad proof of his practice, Mr. Crab. Crab. A good one of his principles, Mr. Latitat. Lat. Why, sir, do you think that a lawyer

Crab. Zounds, sir, I never thought about a lawyer. The law is an oracular idol, you are the explanatory ministers; nor should any of my own private concerns have made me bow to your beastly Baal. I had rather lose a cause, than contest it. And had not this old, doating dunce, sir John Buck, plagued me with the management of his money, and the care of his booby boy, Bedlam should sooner have had me, than the bar.

Lat. Bedlam, the bar! Since, sir, I am provoked, I don't know what your choice may be, or what your friends may choose for you; I wish I was your prochain ami: but I am under some doubts as to the sanity of the testator, otherwise he could not have chosen for his executor, under the sanction of the law, a person who despises the law. And the law, give me leave to tell you, Mr. Crab, is the bulwark, the fence, the protection, the sine qua non, the ne plus ultra

Crab. Mercy, good Six-and-eight-pence.

Lat. The defence and offence, the by which, and the whereby, the statute common and customary, or as Plowden classically and elegantly expresses it, 'tis

Mos commune vetus mores, consulta senatus,
Hæc tria jus statuunt terra Britanna tibi.

Crab. Zounds, sir, among all your laws, are there none to protect a man in his own house?

Lat. Sir, a man's house is his castellum, his castle; and so tender is the law of any infringement of that sacred right, that any attempt to invade it by force, fraud, or violence, clandestinely, or vi et armis, is not only deemed felonius but burglarius.

Now, sir, a burglary may be committed either upon the dwelling, or out-house.

Crab. O laud! O laud!

Enter Servant.

Ser. Your clerk, sir-The parties, he says, are all in waiting at your chambers.

Lat. I come. I will but just explain to Mr. Crab, the nature of a burglary, as it has been described by a late statute.

Crab. Zounds, sir, I have not the least curiosity.
Lat. Sir, but every gentleman should know-
Crab. I won't know. Besides, your clients-
Lat. O, they may stay.
I shan't take up five
minutes, sir-A burglary
Crab. Not an instant.

Lat. By the common law.-
Crab. I'll not hear a word.

Lat. It was but a clausum fregit.
Crab. Dear sir, be gone.

Lat. But by the late acts of
Crab. Help, you dog.

my house.

Ser. Your clients, sir

par

Zounds, sir, get out of

Crab. Push him out [the lawyer talking all the while] So, ho! Hark'ee, rascal, if you suffer that fellow to enter my doors again, I'll strip and discard you the very minute.-[Exit Servant]-This is but the beginning of my torments. But that I expect the young whelp from abroad, every instant, I'd fly for it myself and quit the kingdom at once. Enter Servant.

Serv. My young master's travelling tutor, sir, just arrived.

Crab. Oh, then I suppose, the blockhead of a baronet is close at his heels. Shew him in. This bear-leader, I reckon now, is either the clumsy curate of the knight's own parish church, or some

needy highlander, the out-cast of his country, who, with the pride of a German baron, the poverty of a French marquis, the address of a Swiss soldier, and the learning of an academy usher, is to give our heir apparent politeness, taste, literature; a perfect knowledge of the world, and of himself.

Enter Macruthen.

Mac. Maister Crab, I am your devoted servant, Crab. Oh, a British child by the mess.-Well, where's your charge?

Mac. O, the young baronet is o'the road. I was mighty afraid he had o'er ta'en me; for between Canterbury and Rochester, I was stopt, and robb'd by a highwayman.

Crab. Robb'd! what the devil could he rob you of?

Mac. In gude troth, not a mighty booty. Buchanan's history, Lauder against Melton, and two pound of high-dried Glasgow.

Crab. A travelling equipage. Well, and what's become of your cub? Where have you left him?

Mac. Main Main you sir Charles? I left him at Calais, with another young nobleman, returning from his travels. But why caw ye him cub, maister Crab? In gude troth there's a meeghty alteration. Grab. Yes, yes, I have a shrewd guess at his improvements.

Mac. He's quite a phenomenon.

Crab. Oh, a comet, I dare swear, but not an unusual one at Paris. The Faux-bourg of St. Germains, swarms with such, to the no small amusement of our very good friends the French.

Mac. Oh! the French were very fond of him. Crab. But as to the language, I suppose he's a perfect master of that.

Mac. He can caw for aught that he need, but he is na quite maister of the accent.

Crab. A most astonishing progress!

Mac. Suspend your judgment awhile, and you'll find him all you wish, allowing for the sallies of juvenility; and must take the vanity to myself of being, in a great measure, the author.

Crab. Oh, if he be but a faithful copy of the admirable original, he must be a finished piece. Mac. You are pleased to compliment.

Crab. Not a whit. Well, and what-I suppose you, and your what's your name?

Mac. Macruthen, at your service.

Crab. Macruthen! Hum! You and your pupil agreed very well?

Mac. Perfectly. The young gentleman is of an amiable disposition.

Crab. Oh, ay: And it would be wrong to sour his temper. You knew your duty better, I hope, than to contradict him.

Mac. It was na for me, Maister Crab.

Crab. Oh, by no means, master Macruthen; all your business was to keep him out of frays; to take care, for the sake of his health, that his wine was genuine, and his mistresses as they should be. You pimp'd for him I suppose?

Mac. Pimp for him! D'ye mean to affrontCrab. To suppose the contrary would be the affront, Mr. Tutor. What, man, you know the world. 'Tis not by contradiction, but by compliance, that men make their fortunes. And was it for you to thwart the humour of a lad upon the threshold of ten thousand a year?

Mac. Why, to be sure great allowances must be made.

Crab. No doubt, no doubt.

Mac. I see, maister Crab, you know mankind; you are sir John Buck's executor.

Crab. True.

Mac. I have a little thought that may be useful to us both.