duchess Rambouillet, and totally establish'd the reputation of your humble servant. Buck. Hold your jaw and dispatch. Mr. Sub. A word with you-I don't think it impossible to get you acquainted with madam de Rambouillet. Buck. An't she a papist? Mr. Sub. Undoubtedly. Buck. Then I'll ha' nothing to say to her. Mr. Sub. Oh! fie! Who minds the religion of a pretty woman? Besides, all this country are of the same. Buck. For that reason I don't care how soon I get out of it: come, let's get rid of you all as soon as we can. And what are you, hey? Barb. Je suis peruquier, monsieur. Buck. Speak English, you son of a whore. Buck. Then why could not you say so at first? What are you asham'd of your mother tongue? I knew this fellow was a puppy by his pig-tail. Come let's see your handy work. Barb. As I found you were in a hurry, I have brought you, sir, something that will do for the present but a peruque is a different ouvrage, another sort of a thing here, from what it is en Angleterre; we must consult the colour of the complexion, and the tour de visage, the form of the face; for which end, it will be necessary to regard your countenance in different lights :-A little to the right, if you please. Buck. Why you dog, d'ye think I'll submit to be exercised by you? Barb. Oh mon Dieu! monsieur, if you don't, it will be impossible to make your wig comme il faut. Buck. Sirrah, speak another French word, and I'll kick you down stairs. Barb. Gad's curse! Would you resemble some of your countrymen, who at their first importation with nine hairs of a side to a brawny pair of cheeks, look like a Saracen's head! Or else their watergruel jaws, sunk in a thicket of curls, appear, for all the world, like a lark in a soup-dish! Mr. Sub. Come Squire, submit; 'tis but for once. Buck. Well, what must I do? [Places him in a chair. Barb. To the right, sir;-now to the left;-now your full ;-and now, sir, I'll do your business. Mr. Sub. Look at yourself a little; see what a revolution this has occasion'd in your whole figure. Buck. Yes! a bloody pretty figure indeed! But 'tis a figure I am damnably asham'd of: I would not be seen by Jack Wildfire or Dick Riot for fifty pounds, in this trim, for all that. Mr. Sub. Upon my honour, dress greatly improves you. Your opinion, Mr. Classic. Class. They do mighty well, sir; and in a little time Mr. Buck will be easy in them. Buck. Shall I! I am glad on't, for I am damnably uneasy at present, Mr. Subtle. What must I do now? Mr. Sub. Now, sir, if you'll call upon my wife, you'll find Lucinda with her, and I'll wait on you presently. Buck. Come along, domine! But harkee, Mr. Subtle, I'll out of my tramels, when I hunt with the king. Mr. Sub. Well! Well! Buck. I'll on with my jemmys; none of your black bags and jack boots for me. Mr. Sub. No! No! Buck. I'll shew them the odds on't! old Silver tail! I will! Hey! Mr. Sub. Ay! ay! Buck. Hedge, stake, or stile! over we go! Mr. Sub. Ay! but Mr. Classic waits. Buck. But d'ye think they'll follow? Mr. Sub. Oh no! impossible! Buck. Did I tell you what a chace she carry'd me last Christmas Eve? We unkennell'd at Mr. Sub. I am busy now; at any other time. Buck. You'll follow us. I have sent for my hounds and horses. Mr. Sub. Have you? Buck. They shall make the tour of Europe with me: and then there's Tom Atkins the huntsman, the two whippers-in, and little Joey the groom comes with them. Dammy, what a strange place they'll think this? But no matter for that; then we shall be company enough of ourselves. But you'll follow us in? Mr. Sub. In ten minutes!-An impertinent jackanapes! But I shall soon ha' done with him. So, gentlemen; well, you see we have a good subject to work upon. Harkee, Dauphine, I must have more than 20 per cent. out of that suit. Dauph. Upon my soul, Mr. Subtle, I can't. Mr. Sub. Why I have always that upon new. Dauph. New! sir! Why as I hope to be Mr. Sub. Come, don't lie; don't damn yourself, Dauphine; don't be a rogue; did not I see at madam Fripon's that waistcoat and sleeves upon colonel Crambo? Dauph. As to the waistcoat and sleeves, I own -but for the body and lining-may I never seeMr. Sub. Come, don't be a scoundrel; five and thirty, or I've done. Dauph. Well, if I must, I must. Mr. Sub. Oh! Solitaire! I can't pay that draft of Mr. these six weeks; I want money. Soli. Je suis dans le meme cas-Je— Mr. Sub. What d'ye mutiny, rascal? About your business, or[Exeunt. I must keep these fellows under, or I shall have a fine time on't; they know they can't do without me. Mrs. Sub. Enter Mrs. Subtle. The Calais letters! my dear. Mr. Sub. (reads) Ah! ah! Calais-the Dover packet arrived last night, loading as follows: six taylors, ditto barbers, five milliners, bound for Paris to study fashions; four citizens come to settle here for a month by way of seeing the country; ditto their wives; ten French valets, with nine cooks, all from Newgate, where they had been sent for robbing their masters; nine figure-dancers, exported in September ragged and lean, imported well clad and in good case: twelve dogs, ditto bitches, with two monkies, and a litter of puppies, from mother Midnight's in the Haymarket: A precious cargo!Postscript. One of the coasters is just put in with his grace the duke of, my lord, and an old gentleman, whose name I can't learn. Gadso! well, my dear, I must run, and try to secure these customers; there's no time to be lost: mean while Enter Classic. So, master Classic; what, have you left the young couple together? Class. They want your ladyship's presence, madam, for a short tour to the Tuilleries. I have received some letters which I must answer immediately. Mr. Sub. Oh! Well! Well! no ceremony; we are all of a family you know. Servant. [Exit. Class. Roger! Rog. Anon! Enter Roger. Class. I have just received a letter from your old master; he was landed at Calais, and will be this evening at Paris. It is absolutely necessary that this circumstance should be conceal'd from his son; for which purpose you must wait at the Piccardy gate, and deliver a letter I shall give you, into his own hand. Rog. I'll warrant you. Class. But, Roger, be secret. Rog. Oh! lud! Never you fear! Class. So, Mr. Subtle, I see your aim. A pretty lodging we have hit upon; the mistress a commode, and the master a-But who can this ward be? Possibly the neglected punk of some riotous man of quality. 'Tis lucky Mr. Buck's father is arriv'd, or my authority would prove but an insufficient match for my pupil's obstinacy. This mad boy! How difficult, how disagreeable a task have I undertaken? And how general, yet how dangerous an experiment is it to expose our youth, in the very fire and fury of their blood, to all the follies and extravagance of this fantastic court? Far different was the prudent practice of our forefathers: They scorn'd to truck, for base, unmanly arts, Rouse! re-assume! refuse a Gallic reign, Nor let their arts win that their arms could never gain. END OF THE FIRST ACT. B |