their palates. Why, Sir, not the meanest member of my corporation but can distinguish the path from the pee. Indeed! YOUNGER. Sir PETER. Ay, and fever the green from the shell with the skill of the ableft anatomist. YOUNGER. And they are fond of it? Sir PETER. Oh, that the confumption will tell you. The stated allowance is fix pounds to an alderman, and five to each of their wives. BEVER. A plentiful provifion. Sir PETER. But there was never known any wafte: the mayor, recorder, and rector, are permitted to eat as much as they please. YOUNGER. The entertainment is pretty expensive. Sir PETER. Land-carriage and all. But I contrived to fmuggle the laft that I fent them. BEVER. Smuggle! I don't understand you. Sir PETER. Why, Sir, the rafcally coachman had always charged me five pounds for the carriage. Damn'd dear! Now my cook going at the fame time into the country, I made him clap a capuchin upon the turtle, and for thirty fhillings put him an infide paffenger in the Doncafter Fly. YOUNGER. A happy expedient. BEVER. Oh, Sir Peter has infinite humour. Sir PETER. Yes, but the frolick had like to have proved fatal. How fo? YOUNGER, Sir PETER. The maid at the Rummer, at Hatfield, popp'd her head into the coach, to know if the company would have any breakfast: Ecod, the turtle, Sir, laid hold of her nofe, and flapp'd her face with his fins till the poor devil fell into a fit. Ha, ha, ha. YOUNGER, Oh, an abfolute Rabelais. BEVER. What, I reckon, Sir Peter, you are going to the Square? Sir PETER. Yes; I extremely admire Sir Thomas. You know this is his day of affembly; I fuppofe you will be there: I can tell you, you are a wonderful favourite. Am I? BEVER. Sir PETER. He says, your natural genius is fine; and when polifh'd by his cultivation, will furprize and aftonifh the world. BEVER. I hope, Sir, I shall have your voice with the public. Sir PETER. Mine! O fie, Mr. Bever, BEVER. Come, come, you are no inconfiderable patron. Sir PETER, Sir PETER. He, he, he. Can't fay but I love to encourage the arts. BEVER. And have contributed largely yourself. YOUNGER. What, is Sir Peter an author? Sir PETER. O fie! what me? a mere dabbler; have blotted my fingers, 'tis true:-fome fonnets, that have not been thought wanting in falt. BEVER. And your epigrams. Sir PETER. Not entirely without point. BEVER. But come, Sir Peter, the love of the arts is not the fole caufe of your vifits to the house you are going to. Sir PETER. I don't understand you. BEVER. Mifs Juliet, the niece. Sir PETER. O fie! what chance have I there? Indeed, if Lady Pepperpot should happen to pop off BEVER. I don't know that. You are, Sir Peter, a dangerous man; and, were I a father, or uncle, I fhould not be a little thy of your visits. Sir PETER. Píha! dear Bever, you banter. BEVER. And (unless I am extremely out in my guess) that lady Sir PETER. May I never eat a bit of green fat, if I do! Hints have been dropp'd. Sir PETER. The devil! come a little this way. BEVER. Well made; not robuft and gigantic, 'tis true, but extremely genteel. Indeed! Sir PETER. BEVER. Features, not entirely regular; but marking, with an air now, fuperior; greatly above the you understand me? Sir PETER. BEVER. Not an abfolute wit; but fomething infinitely better: an enjouement, a fpirit, a— Sir PETER. Gaiety. I was ever fo, from a child. In short, your drefs, addrefs, with a thousand other particulars that at prefent I can't recollect. Sir PETER. Why, dear Bever, to tell thee the truth, I have always admired Mifs Juliet, and a delicate creature creature fhe is: fweet as a fugar-cane, strait as a bamboo, and her teeth as white as a negro's. BEVER. Poetic, but true. Now only conceive, Sir Peter, fuch a plantation of perfections to be devoured by that caterpillar Ruft. Sir PETER. A liquorish grub! Are pine-apples for fuch muckworms as he? I'll fend him a jar of citrons and ginger, and poison the pipkin. No, no. BEVER, Sir PETER. Or invite him to dinner, and mix rat's-bane along with his curry. BEVER. Not fo precipitate; I think we may defeat him without any danger. How, how? Sir PETER, BEVER. I have a thought-but we muft fettle the plan with the lady. Could not you give her the hint, that I fhould be glad to fee her a moment. Sir PETER. I'll do it directly. BEVER. But don't let Sir Thomas perceive you. Sir PETER. Never fear. You'll follow? BEVER.. The inftant I have fettled matters with her; but fix the old fellow fo that the may not be mifs'd. Sir PETER. |