TAST E.

A

COMEDY.

ACT I.

SCENE I. A Painting Room.

Enter CARMINE, followed by the Boy

CARMINE. LAY thefe Colours in the Window,

by the Pallet. Any Visitors or Meffages?

Boy. 'Squire Felltree has been here, and infifts upon Mifs Racket's Pictures being immediately finish'd, and carry'd Home-As to his Wife and Children, he fays, you may take your own Time. Carm. Well

Boy. Here has been a Meffage too, from my Lady Pen- I can't remember her Name, but 'tis upon the Slate. She defires to know if you will be at Home about Noon.

(Exit. Boy.

Carm. Fetch it. Was the Whole of our Profeffion confined to the mere Business of it, the Employment would be pleafing as well as profitable; but as matters are

now

now managed, the Art is the laft Thing to be regarded. Family Connections, private Recommendations, and an eafy, genteel Method of Flattering, is to fupply the Delicacy of a Guido, the colouring of a Rubens, and the Defign of a Raphael-all their Qualities centring in one Man, without the first Requifites, would be useless; and with these, one of them is neceffary.

Enter Boy with the Slate.

Carm. Let's fee- Oh! Lady Pentweazel from Blowbladder-ftreet- -Admit her by all Means; and if Puff or Varnish should come, I am at home. (Exit Boy. Lady Pentweazel! ha! ha! Now here's a Proof that Avarice is not the only, or laft Paffion old Age is fubject to this fuperannuated Beldame gapes for Flattery, like a Neft of unfledged Crows for Food; and with them, too, gulps down every Thing that's offer'd her-no Matter how coarse; well, the fhall be fed; I'll make her my introduc tory Key to the whole Bench of Aldermen.

Enter Boy with Puff.

Boy. Mr. Puff, Sir.

Carm. Let us be private. What have you there? Puff. Two of Rembrandt's Etching by Scrape, in May's Buildings; a paltry Affair, a Poor Ten Guinea Job; however, a fmall game-you know the Proverb What became of you Yesterday?

Carm. I was detained by Sir Pofitive Bubble. How went the Pictures? The Guido, what did that fetch?

Puff

Puff. One Hundred and Thirty.

Carm. Hum! Four Guineas the Frame, Three the Painting; then we divide juft One Hundred. and Twenty-three.

Puff Hold-not altogether fo fast Var nish had Two Pieces for bidding against Squander; and Brush Five for bringing Sir Tawdry Trifle.

Carm. Mighty well; look ye, Mr. Puff, if thefe people are eternally quarter'd upon us, I declare off, Sir; they eat up the Profit.

There's that damn'd Brufb -but you'll find him out. I have upon his old Plan given him Copies of all the Work I executed upon his Recommendation and what was the Confequence? He clandeftinely fold the Copies, and I have all the Originals in my Lumber-Room.

Puff. Come, come, Carmine, you are no great Lofer by that, Ah! that Lumber-Room! that Lumber Room out of repair, is the beft conditioned Estate in the County of Middlefex. Why now there's your Susannah; it could not have produced you above Twenty at moft, and by the Addition of your Lumber Room Dirt, and the falutary Application of the Spaltam Pot, it became a Guido, worth a Hundred and Thirty Pounds; befides, in all Traffic of this Kind, there must be Combinations. Varnish and Brush are our Jackalls, and it is but fair they fhould partake of the Prey. Courage, my Boy! never fear! Praise be to Folly and Fashion, there are, in this Town, Dupes enough to gratify the Avarice of us all.

Carm. Mr. Puff, you are ignorant and Scurrilous, and very impertinent Mr. Puff; and Mr. Puff, I have a ftrange Mind to leave you to yourselves,

and

and then fee what a Hand you would make of itSir, if I do now and then add fome Tincts of An.tiquity to my Pictures, I do it in Condefcenfion to the Foible of the World; for, Sir, Age, Age, Sir, is all my Pictures want to render 'em as good Pieces as the Masters from whom they are taken; and let me tell you Sir, he that took my Susannab for a Guido, gave no mighty Proofs of his Ignorance, Mr. Puff.

Puff. Why, thou Poft-painter, thou Dauber, thou execrable White-washer, thou-Sirrah, have you fo foon forgot the wretched State from whence I dragg'd you. The firft Time I fet eyes on you, Rafcal! what was your Occupation then? Scribbling, in fcarce legible Letters, Coffee, Tea, and Chocolate on a Bawdy-houfe Window in Goodman's Fields.

Carm. The Meannefs of my Original demonftrates the greatnefs of my Genius.

Puff. Genius! Here's a Dog. Pray, how high did your Genius foar? To the daubing diabolical Angels for Alehoufes, Dogs with Chains for Tanner's Yards, Rounds of Beef and roafted Pigs for Porridge Island.

Carm. Hanibal Scratchi did the fame.

Puff. From that contemptible State did not I raise you to the Cat and Fiddle in Petticoat-lane; the Goofe and Gridiron in Paul's Church-yard; the first live Things you ever drew, Dog?

Carm. Pox take your Memory. Mr. Puff-you are so

Well, but,

Puff. Nor did I quit you then: Who Sirrah, recommended you to Prim Stiff, the Mercer upon Ludgate-bill; how came you to paint the Queen there? (Loud Knocks at the Door. Carm.

Carm. Mr. Puff, for Heaven's fake! dear Sir, you are fo warm, we fhall be blown

Enter Boy.

Boy. Sir, my Lady Pen

Carm. Send her to the-Show her up Stairs, Dear Puff

Puff. Oh! Sir, I can be calm; I only wanted to let you fee I had not forgot, though perhaps you may.

Carm. Sir, you are very obliging. Well, but now as all is over, if you will retreat a fmall Time -Lady Pentweazel fits for her Picture, and she'sPuff. I have fome Business at next Door; I fuppofe in half an Hour's Time

Carm. I fhall be at Leifure. Dear PuffPuff. Dear Carmine(Exit Puff. Carm. Son of a Whore-Boy, fhew the Lady up Stairs.

Enter Lady Pentweazel.

Lady. Fine Pieces!-very likely Pieces! and, indeed, all alike. Hum! Lady Fuffock-and, hal ha ha! Lady Glumstead, by all that's ugly-Pray now, Mr. Carmine, how do you Limners contrive to overlook the Ugliness, and preferve the Likeness?

Carm. The Art, Madam, may be convey'd in two words; where nature has been fevere, we foften; where she has been kind, we aggravate.

Lady. Very ingenus, and very kind, truly. Well, good Sir, I bring you a Subject that will demand the whole of the first Part of your Skill; and if you are at Leifure, you may begin directly.

Carm.