FOGG AND MIST were china dealers in Warwick Street; the firm afterwards became Fogg and Son, on which it was naturally enough remarked that "the sun had driven away the mist." Going and Gonne was the style of a well-known banking house in Ireland, and on their failure in business some one wrote:

"Going and Gonne are now both one,

For Gonne is going, and Going's gone."

Two millers at Manchester were named Bone, and, of course, furnished abundant material for joke and sarcasm.

But this is hardly so good as an entry in the Custom-House books of Edinburgh, where it appears that "A." (meaning Alexander)—“ A. Gunn was the other day discharged for making a false report."

The late Mr. I. Came, the wealthy shoemaker of Liverpool, who left his immense property to public charities, opened his first shop on the opposite side of the street to that in which he had been a servant, and inscribed its front with "I CAME from over the way."

IMPORTANT FROM

Sackrymento Diggins, Oct. 20th.

TO TIM FLAHERTY,-Arrah thin, Tim, as soon as you read this bit of a note come out at wonst. Rite forenenst me where I sit composing this letther there's a fortune to be got for the mere sifthing. The sands is all goold powder. Och! if you could only see how beautiful it shines in the sun. An' thin the depth of it. It goes clane down to the centre ov the world. The mountains, Tim, has vains, and ivvery vain is full of the circulatin' majium. Wouldn't you like to bleed them vains, ould boy? We've no horses here, 'cepting mules, and as soon as one ov the boys gets a load he puts it on the back ov the donkey and carries it to the ass sayers. The ass sayers, ye see, is the jintlemen as informs ye whether the goold's the rale stuff, or only iron pitaties. You see there's a desavin' kind o' goold they call pitaties. It's an invenshun ov the ould sarpint, and iv you put it in the fire it vanishes in a thick shmoke wid an horrible smell ov sulfir.

It's a fine healthy rejin is the Sackrymento. There's no disease 'cept the shaking ager; and the fits come on first rate whin there's any sifthing to

THE GOLD REGIONS.

be done. As soon as one o' the boys gets the shake on him he just puts the sifther in his fists, and he'll make a small fortin afore the trimble's off ov him.

We're all rale demmicrats out here, Tim. While I'm writing ov this letther on the side or my hat bad luck to the crown there's to it-I can see one of the captins ov the New York melisha washing the goold in the Sackrymento with hardly a rag on him, savin' your presence. Even the mishinaries dig like bogthrotters all the week, and deliver mighty improvin' discoorses to the haythen on the unrighteousness of mammon on a Sunday. The Injuns is incensed in this way wid the sinfulness of riches, and sells it chape to save their sowls.

Remember me to Biddy, the darlin', an' tell her if she'll put on the jacket and throusers, she can make hapes of money here, for she knows how to use a spade, an' it's easier diggin' the goold than cutting turf in Kilkenny.

Intendin' to address you agin shortly on the state of picayunary affairs in this country, I remain, yer affeckshynit couzen,

TERRENCE MAHONY.

"MURPHY, what's the meaning of mystery? Faith, I was reading the paper, and it said 'twas a mystery how it was done."

Well," said Murphy, "Pat, I'll tache ye. Ye see, when I lived with my father, a little gossoon, they gave me a parthy, and me mother wint to market to buy somethin' for the parthy to ate, and among the lot of things she bot a half-barrel of pork, ye see. Well, she put it down in the cellar, bless her sowl! for safe keeping, till the parthy come on, do ye see. Well, when the parthy come on, me mother sint me down to the cellar to get

I

T was no use for me, bein' a poor man, to go on grumblin' at our governor, for he'd only have said what he said before. "There's the keb," he says, "and there's the 'oss," he says; "and if you don't like 'em you can leave 'em. I don't ast you," he says, "to bring in so much by two shillin' as I do your mates; and if you don't like to drive number three thousin' eight hundered and noughty-nine, there's plenty more as will be glad to; so no more bones about it." Well, you see that's how it was; and from drivin' a shabby keb and a knacker of a 'oss, I got into the habit of goin' shabby myself, and always got all the shabby jobs as came to the Knightsbridge stand; takin' sarvants to the parly trains-boxy jobs, as I calls 'em, linendrapers' gals with parcels of things to show at gentlefolkses houses; all the wust-paid fares there was, and too glad to get 'em.

For you see mine was a shabby turn-out, quite a reg'lar sight, you know; old yaller keb with a coat-of-arms on it, and bloo linins, 'cept the cushins, which is all odd uns, stuffed with all sorts; and allus, no matter how I smoke or air that 'ere inside, smellin offle o' mushrooms, so as you might think some old woman had broke a bottle o' ketchup inside; when it aint nothin', bless you, but the damp. The paint had got wery shabby, 'specially about the tires; and the spokes o' them wheels would rattle in dry weather most as bad as did the windies in wet. For you see the glasses used to be all up in wet weather, while people was glad enough to keep 'em down in dry, becos of the smell; and them windies was about the most aggrawatinest part about that keb, since you never had no control over them, for they shet up when they liked, and shet down when they liked; and them all the while of sech thin glass, as you didn't dare show fight, for fear of their goin' all to smash, and your havin' to pay up.

I said as them windies was about the most aggra. watinest things about that keb; but they worn't, for all that: the 'oss was the wust by a long chalk. He was a disappynted sort of a 'oss, as took everythin' contrairy; and though I drove him a matter o' ten year, I never once got anythin' like understandin' his charakter. You see he was a lowspereted animal, one as had seen better days, as you might know by the way he hugged the left 'and sharp, as if it had bin a pole-showin' as he'd once run in pairs, p'raps alongside o' some lovely creetur of a mare as died, and so broke his 'art, makin' him to come down in the world, and take no pride in hisself. For though I did all man could do to make him look decent, he never would, not a bit of it. If I bore him up tight, to make him arch his neck, he only arched it wrong ways-pyntin' that nose of his at the sky, and goin' along like a camel as was in wants of water in a great desert.

THE TAIL?*

If I putt a couple o' bits o' laylock on each side of his blinkers, to cheer him up a bit, he'd do nothin' but shake his head, mournful like, jest as if he was a-sayin', "This here's a wale of tears ;" and then, ten to one if he didn't have a fit o' megrims-bad uns too. He'd got the roughest coat as ever a'oss had, one as never shined ony when it was wet; while, where his mane ought to have bin, was all a stubbly, scuffy ridge, like a worn-out brush. As for his tail-there, it worn't no wonder as he used to keep it tucked wery close in between his legs, for that was the only redeemin' pynt in his charakter: he were ashamed of that there tail. You never saw his old spavined hocks, nor his broken knees, nor his rough coat, nor nothin' else when that tail was visible; for it took up your whole attention, so as you couldn't see nothin' else. I believe I might have got on a bit better at first, same as I did towards the last, if it hadn't bin for that tail; for you see it was enough to ruin any turn-out, even if it had been a lord mayor's carridge. You couldn't help that tail wherrittin' you, do what you would; for though it was all wery well so long as the 'oss -Solomon I called him, cos he was such a longheaded un-was down in the mouth, and kep his tail outer sight, yet there was times as he'd stick it straight out, 'specially if he'd got a bearin'-rein on, and then, do all I would to keep my temper, I used to be obliged to hit that 'ere tail with the butt end of the whip, to make him keep it outer sight.

Now, I'll jest tell you what that tail was like. It was jest eighteen inches long; and, beginnin' at the top, there was jest twelve inches all smooth as smooth, and then there was seven 'airs; after which you travelled over six more smooth inches, right to the pynt, and then there was twenty-three more long uns. Now, jest let me ask anybody as knows anythin' about 'osses if that worn't a tail as would break any man's 'art. Thirty 'airs there was altogether in that there tail, for I counted 'em often, to see if any more was a-comin'; but, no, not a blessed 'air more would come, no matter how I coaxed 'em. Fancy a tail with only thirty 'airs in, flourished about in your face when you was a-drivin', and jest see if you was tied down to it, if you wouldn't soon get to look as shabby as your 'oss and keb. I took my missus into consultation about that tail, which I s'pose came bald from grief; and she says as stimmylusses was the best thing to make 'air grow; so I got a tin pot fitted in the bottom of Solomon's nose-bag; and many's the half-pint of porter he's sucked up; but never a 'air came of that. Then my missus explained as it was stimmylusses applied to the part itself, so I tried liquid blister and solid blister; but they never did nothin' but make the old 'oss kick; while as to rubbin' on Spanish-fly pomatum, it worn't no more use than nothin'.

"I can't stand that there tail no longer," I says to my wife one night when I'd come home quite low-spereted; "it's enough to break a man's art, that it is. Here's three days runnin' I've ony took in twelve shillins."

93

& wantid for to smoke the Calomel of Peace with me. Thay then stole my jerkt beef, blankits, etsettery, skalpt my orgin grinder & scooted with a Wild Hoop. Durin the Cheaf's techin speech he sed he shood meet me in the Happy Huntin Grounds. If he duz thare will be a fite. But enuff of this ere. Raven Noose Muttons, as our skoolmaster, who has got Talent into him, cussycally obsarves.

I arrove at Salt Lake in doo time. At Camp Scott there was a lot of U. S. sojers, hosstensibly sent out thare to smash the mormons but really to eat Salt vittles & play poker & other beautiful but sumwhat onsartin games. I got acquainted with sum of the officers. Thay lookt putty scrumpshus in their Bloo coats with brass buttings onto um & ware very talented drinkers, but so fur as fitin is consarned I'd willingly put my wax figgers agin the hull party.

My desire was to exhibit my grate show in Salt Lake City, so I called on Brigham Yung, the grate mogull amung the mormins, and axed his permishun to pitch my tent and onfurl my banner to the jentle breezis. He lookt at me in a austeer manner for a few minits, and sed

"Do you bleeve in Solomon, Saint Paul, the immaculateness of the Mormin Church and the Latterday Revelashuns?"

Sez I," I'm on it!" I make it a pint to git along plesunt, tho I didn't know what under the son the old feller was drivin at. He sed I might show.

"You air a marrid man, Mister Yung, I bleeve?" sez I, preparin to rite him sum free parsis.

"I hev eighty wives, Mister Ward, I sertinly am marrid."

He then set to and axed me wouldn't I like to see his famerly, to which I replide that I wouldn't mind minglin with the fair Seck and Barskin in the winnin smiles of his interestin wives. He accordingly tuk me to his Scareum. The house is powerful big & in a exceedin large room was his wives & children, which larst was squawkin and hollerin enuff to take the roof rite orf the house. The wimin was of all sizes and ages Sum was pretty & sum was plane-sum was helthy. and sum was on the Wayne-which is verses, tho sich was not my intentions, as I don't 'prove of puttin verses in Proze rittins, tho ef occashun requires I can Jerk a Poim ekal to any of them Atlantic Munthly fellers.

"My wives, Mister Ward," sed Yung. "Your sarvant, marms," sed I, as I sot down in a cheer which a red-heded female brawt me.

"Them as is Sealed to me-that is to say, to be mine when I wants um-air at present my sperretooul wives," sed Mister Yung.

66

'Long may thay wave!" sez I, seein I shood git into a scrape ef I didn't look out.

His

In a privit conversashun with Brigham I learnt the follerin fax: It takes him six weeks to kiss his wives. He don't do it only onct a yere & sez it is wuss nor cleanin house. He don't pretend to know his children, there is so many of um, tho they all know him. He sez about every child he meats call him Par, & he takes it for grantid it is so. wives air very expensiv. Thay allers want suthin & ef he don't buy it for um thay set the house in a uproar. He sez he don't have a minit's peace. His wives fite amung theirselves so much that he has bilt a fitin room for thare speshul benefit, & when too of 'em get into a row he has 'em turnd loose into that place, whare the dispoot is settled accordin to the rules of the London prize ring. Sumtimes thay abooz hisself individooally. Thay hev pulled the most of his hair out at the roots & he wares meny a horrible scar upon his body, inflicted with mop-handles, broom-sticks and sich. Occashunly they git mad & scald him with bilin hot water.

"I find that the keers of a marrid life way hevy onto me," sed the Profit, " & sumtimes I wish I'd remaned singel." I left the Profit and startid for the tavern whare I put up to.

OUR Uncle Ezra is sometimes in the habit of "stretching the truth" a little-a vicious sort of propensity, from which the rest of the family are singularly free. We heard him tell Snooks a severe tale one day last week, which we have con

cluded to give to the world:-"When I lived in Maine," said he, "I helped to break up a new piece of ground; we got the wood off in the winter, and early in the spring we began ploughing on't. It was so consarned rocky that we had to get