in the whole external appearance of Mr. Frank Webber; for scarcely had the oaken panel shut out the Doctor, when he appeared no longer the shy, timid, and silvery-toned gentleman of five minutes before; but, dashing boldly forward, he seized a key-bugle that lay hid beneath a sofacushion, and blew a tremendous blast. "Come forth, ye demons of the lower world!" said he, drawing a cloth from a large table, and discovering the figures of three young men, coiled up beneath. "Come forth, and fear not, most timorous freshmen that ye are!" said he, unlocking a pantry and liberating two others. "Gentlemen, let me introduce to your acquaintance Mr. O'Malley. My chum, gentlemen. Mr. O'Malley, this is Harry Nesbitt, who has been in college since the days of old Perpendicular, and numbers more cautions than any man who ever had his name on the books. Here is my particular friend, Cecil Cavendish, the only man who could ever devil kidneys. Captain Power, Mr. O'Malley; a dashing dragoon, as you see; aide-de-camp to his Excellency the LordLieutenant, and love-maker-general to Merrion Square West. These," said he, pointing to the late denizens of the pantry, are jibs, whose names are neither known to the proctor nor the policeoffice; but, with due regard to their education and morals, we don't despair." "By no means," said Power: "but come, let us resume our game." At these words he took a folio atlas of maps from a small table, and displayed beneath a pack of cards, dealt as if for whist. The two gentlemen to whom I was introduced by name returned to their places; the unknown two put on their boxing-gloves, and all resumed the hilarity which Dr. Mooney's advent had so suddenly interrupted. "Where's Moore?" said Webber, as he once more seated himself at his breakfast. "Making a spatch-cock, sir," said the servant. At the same instant a little, dapper, jovial-looking personage appeared with the dish in ques tion. "Agreed.” The whist was resumed; the boxers, now rcfreshed by a leg of the spatch-cock, returned to their gloves; Mr. Moore took up his violin, Mr. Webber his French horn, and I was left the only unemployed man in the company. "I say, Power, you'd better bring the drag over here for us; we can all go down together." "I must inform you," said Cavendish, "that, thanks to your philanthropic efforts of last night, the passage from Grafton Street to Stephen's Green is impracticable." A tremendous roar of laughter followed this announcement; and, though at the time the cause was unknown to me, I may as well mention it here, as I subsequently learned it from. my companions. Among the many peculiar tastes which distinguished Mr. Francis Webber, was an extraor dinary fancy for street-begging; he had, over and over, won large sums upon his success in that difficult walk; and so perfect were his disguises, both of dress, voice, and manner, that he actually, at one time, succeeded in obtaining charity from his very opponent in the wager. He wrote ballads with the greatest facility, and sang them with infinite pathos and humour; and the old woman at the corner of College Green was certain of an audience when the severity of the night would leave all other minstrelsy deserted. As these feats of jonglerie usually terminated in a row, it was a most amusing part of the transaction to see the singer's part taken by the mob against the college men, who, growing impatient to carry him off to supper somewhere, would invariably be obliged to have a fight for the booty. Now, it chanced that a few evenings before, Mr. Webber was returning with a pocket well lined with copper, from a musical réunion he had held at the corner of York Street, when the idea struck him to stop at the end of Grafton Street, where a huge stone grating at that time exhibited-perhaps it exhibits still-the descent to one of the great main sewers of the city. The light was shining brightly from a pastrycook's shop, and showed the large bars of stone between which the muddy water was rushing rapidly down, and plashing in the torrent that ran boisterously several feet beneath. To stop in the street of any crowded city is, under any circumstances, an invitation to others to do likewise, which is rarely unaccepted; but when, in addition to this, you stand fixedly in one spot, and regard with stern intensity any object near you, the chances are ten to one that you have several companions in your curiosity before a minute expires. Now, Webber, who had at first stood still without any pecu...r thought in view, no sooner per ceived that he was joined by others, than the idea of making something out of it immediately occurred to him. "What is it, agra ?" inquired an old woman, very much in his own style of dress, pulling at the hood of his cloak. "And can't you see for yourself, darling?" replied he, sharply, as he knelt down and looked most intensely at the sewer. "Are ye long there, avick?" inquired he of an imaginary individual below, and then waiting as if DOING AND DONE IN AMERICA. for a reply, said, "Two hours! Blessed Virgin! he's two hours in the drain!" By this time the crowd had reached entirely across the street, and the crushing and squeezing to get near the important spot was awful. "Where did he come from ?" "Who is he?" "How did he get there ?" were questions on every side, and various surmises were afloat, till Webber, rising from his knees, said, in a mysterious whisper to those nearest him, "He's made his escape tonight out o' Newgate by the big drain, and lost his way; he was looking for the Liffey, and took the wrong turn." To an Irish mob, what appeal could equal this? * * * "Do you see the light, dear?" said Webber, as some ingeniously benevolent individual had lowered down a candle with a string-"do ye see the light? 435 Oh! he's fainted, the creature." A cry of horror from the crowd burst forth at these words, followed by a universal shout of "Break open the street!" Pickaxes, shovels, spades, and crowbars seemed absolutely the walking accompaniments of the crowd, so suddenly did they appear upon the field of action, and the work of exhumation was begun with a vigour that speedily covered nearly half of the street with mud and paving-stones. Parties relieved each other at the task, and, ere half an hour, a hole capable of containing a mail coach was yawning in one of the most frequented thoroughfares of Dublin. * Meanwhile, Webber had reached his chambers, changed his costume, and was relating over a supper-table the narrative of his philanthropy to a very admiring circle of his friends. DOING AND DONE IN AMERICA. THERE is a sheriff in Illinois who was rather taken in, on one occasion, and done for. He made it a prominent part of his business to ferret out and punish pedlars for travelling through the State without a licence; but one morning he met his match-a ginooine Yankee pedlar. "What have you got to sell?-anything?" asked the sheriff. "Yaes, sartain; what'd ye like to hev? Got razors, fust rate; that's an article, 'squire, that you want, tew, I should say, by the looks o' your baird. Got good blackin'; 'twill make them old cowhide boots o' your'n shine so't you can shave into 'em. Balm o' Klumby, tew; only a dollar a bottle; good for the ha'r, and assistin' poor human natur', as the poet says. The sheriff bought a bottle of the Balm of Columbia, and in reply to the question whether he wanted anything else, that functionary said he did; he wanted to see the Yankee's licence for peddling in Illinois, that being his duty as the high sheriff of the State. The pedlar showed him a document "fixed up good-in black and white," which the officer pronounced all correct; and hand Her ing it back to the pedlar, he added, "I don't know, 66 66 MORE SISTER SAYINGS. Irishmen wepcep landed in America, and, taking the way into the interior in search of employ ment, came suddenly near a pond of water, when to their great horror they heard some bull-frogs singing their usual song, "B-a-u-m! B-a-u-m! B-a-u-m!" They lisbatened, trembled, and, clutching their shillelahs, crept forward, straining their eyes in every direction to catch a glimpse of the enemy, which, however, was not to be found. At last a happy idea struck one of them, and he sprang towards his mate, exclaiming, "Sure, Jamie, it's nothing but a noise!" THERE is a story told of an Irishman who, landing in America, was met and welcomed by a countryman who had been longer there. "Welcome, Pat," said the latter, "I'm glad to see ye; ye've come just in time, for to-morrow's election day." Pat and his friend took some refreshment together, and presently the newly-arrived began to make some inquiries about voting. Ye'll vote for who ye plaize," said his friend, "sure it's a free 66 counthry." "Well, thin, begorra," rejoined Pat, "I go agin the Government; that's what I always did at home." "YOUR honour," said an Irish servant to his master," Mr. So-and-so said you was not fit to clean his shoes." "And what did you say, Pat?" Faith, I said you was." 66 A SCOTCHMAN asked an Irishman, "Why are farthings coined in England?" Pat's answer was, "To give Scotchmen an opportunity of subscribing to charitable institutions." AN Irish lady, in her will, ordered her body to be burned after death, as she was afraid of being buried alive. BLAYNEY said, in reference to several persons, all relations to each other, but who happened to have no descendants, that "it seemed to be hereditary in their family to have no children." A KIND-HEARTED Irishman, riding on horseback to a mill, placed a bag of corn across his own shoulders, so as not to burden his horse with it. "TELL about drummin'-now d'ye ever hear Ben Biglick's drum? He was a cooler, I tell ye, for raal sentimental stuff-drummin' round a corner, and such like; he'd drum the coat-skirts off anything ever I heard." "I SAY, Pat," said a Yankee, "why don't you sue that railway company for damages you have received? Both of your legs broken all to smash; sue them for damages." "Sue them for damages, eh, boy? I have damages enough already; I'll sue them for repairs." |