The rectangle is modified, however, by the addition of a smaller rectangle, which extends along the north end, starting in the northeast corner, and following the north side for a distance of 40 yards. This rectangle is 30 yards in width. In this area are the offices and laboratories. The large rectangle is further modified by a switch which enters the west side at a point 35 yards from the southwest corner, and runs diagonally

Imagine a reader wading through page after page of solid text like that shown in the example above. For any one who follows the description conscientiously, the effort is a kind of psychological test. The average reader, however, would not follow it closely. He would turn away from it, not so much because of its difficulty as because of its inappropriateness. He would be annoyed to find that so complicated a form of expression had been used to convey ideas that could be presented clearly and simply by another method. A sketch would reveal at a glance all the facts about directions, proportions, and dimensions that could be stated in two or three pages of meticulous writing. And the energy saved by the use of the sketch could be expended with greater profit on the analysis of a real problem in descriptive geometry.

Usually, it is true, the sketch is accompanied by language, but the written part should merely supplement and interpret the drawing and should not put into words the information which has already been expressed more clearly in terms of lines and numerals. Except in such highly special documents as patent claims, there is practically no use for the kind of technical writing which consists of verbal diagrams.

The reader's objection to drawings expressed in words is at least equaled by his resentment of verbal tabulations. When he finds a column of figures masquerading as a series of sentences, he rightly feels that he is being swindled. He is particularly offended when he finds the writer using

words to express the relation between two sets of figures, or to trace changes in the relative status of a group of variables over a period of time. Such ideas cannot be fully conveyed by means of connected discourse, and any attempt to express them in language imposes an unnecessary strain on both the writer and the reader. Notice how the ideas in the following quotation concerning pig iron are expressed much more clearly and completely in the simple graph shown above it.

At the beginning of the year 1920, the monthly production of pig iron in the United States was a little more than 2,500,000 tons. In January of that year the total rose to a little more than 3,000,000 tons, and a slight falling off in February was succeeded by a rapid increase in March, which carried the total for that month to nearly 3,250,000 tons. In April, however, a sharp decline in production occurred, the total being about 2,700,000 tons. A steady increase now set in,-(and so on, up to February, 1925, in monthly instalments!) 1

The use of graphic methods of presenting data is so important in technical writing that a separate discussion of the subject is included in this book. (See pages 216-226.) Be

1 Doubtless the reader will notice the resemblance between this kind of writing and the so-called "hokum" that is sometimes used as space filler in market reports and elsewhere.

cause of its influence in condensing, clarifying, and vitalizing statistical data, graphic expression, even though it does not deal directly in words, may well be called a phase of style. Since it keeps the writer from using words where they do not belong, it is at least an indispensable aid to good writing.

ABSTRACT VERSUS CONCRETE STYLE

Unless he is dealing with metaphysical speculation, the technical writer can usually present his ideas in specific terms. The reader, upon seeing a general statement or an abstract word, instinctively asks, "For example?" If the example is not promptly supplied, the reader probably loses contact with the thought. Every one who writes should back up his general statements with specific illustrations, not only as an aid to the reader but also as a guarantee against vagueness in his own thinking. If he is writing semi-technical or popular scientific discussions, he may even find it worth while to have his examples precede and introduce the general statements.

The following passages illustrate in somewhat extreme form the contrast between the concrete, specific style and the abstract, general style.

A.

When you purchase from an agency representing, as ours does, a large manufacturing corporation, you get the benefit of all the achievements of modern science. All the resources that research can command are dedicated to your service. Laboratory tests insure the reliability of every product that ministers to your daily comfort and satisfaction. By drawing upon the largest reserve of technical brains and skill, you can open the way to a fuller enjoyment of life amid the luxuries which modern civilization affords.

B.

My friend Lorimer fairly revels in the pleasures which science has made possible for a pampered generation. He listens nightly

to a far-flung series of radio concerts spanning a continent. His breakfast is facilitated by the use of electric percolator and toaster. He drives daily to and from the office in an automobile that is fairly laden with accessories. These mechanical and electrical devices light his cigar, signal his intentions as to stop or direction of turning, notify him when the gasoline or oil supply is low, and warn him, of course, when his speed invites pursuit by a determined person on a motorcycle. Meanwhile, Lorimer, the god of the machine, sits enthroned on a plush seat which rests on scientifically designed springs, elastic enough to provide luxurious resilience and yet rigid enough to impart a feeling of security.

Until recently, Lorimer had never heard of a research laboratory. The difference between these two examples is so striking that extended comment is unnecessary. The concrete style is characterized by active verbs, by specific nouns and adjectives in a word, by pictures. The abstract style is vague and shadowy. If the first passage were continued, the only way in which the reader's interest could be held would be by the immediate mention of specific "luxuries which modern civilization affords." Perhaps it is already too late to regain the reader's attention, for the beginning is not encouraging. On the other hand, the writer of the second passage has earned the reader's consent to include some general statements concerning research.

ABBREVIATED STYLE

In the chapter on "Clear Statement of Ideas" it was pointed out that some writers allow the cryptic language of the notebook to influence the form of their sentences in regular connected discourse. A related, but more serious, fault is the use of a semi-authorized form of condensation which technical writers especially are inclined to adopt, namely, the creation of awkward and unnecessary compound expressions. For example, instead of saying "a tunnel 7 feet in diameter," a writer will put down "a 7-foot

tunnel." The compound form is not only awkward; it is incomplete, and therefore, inexact. Some time ago an indignant contributor to The Atlantic Monthly expressed his disapproval of this abbreviated kind of writing in a little essay ironically entitled "The Efficient Style." An extract from his outburst is quoted below.

THE EFFICIENT STYLE

As a result of the general passion for efficiency, an ancient and useful, though modest, member of the parts of speech is marked for the scrap-heap. Not by systematic propaganda, but by their practice, the efficiency experts have indicated their program of reform. Their goal, to express it in their own style, is preposition elimination, and their method is compound formation.

I am aware that the expressions just used are not remarkable, either for euphony or for perspicuity. The absence of these oldfashioned qualities, however, does not trouble the pragmatical exponents of the efficient style. From their point of view, which for the moment I am trying to adopt, the highest good is space utilization. If a line to the page may be saved by the use of prepositionless phrases formed by substantive juxtaposition, who but a foe to conservation would oppose such plainly demonstrable econy?...

omy

To be sure, the juggling of substantives might be somewhat awkward at first, but with a little practice the average writer could become as skillful as the makers of newspaper headlines. Let him learn wisdom from such puzzling but space-saving captions as "Wilson Opposition Increases," which he who runs is expected to read. Let him study the writings of technical men, who turn out such masterpieces of prepositionless style as, "Motor car cost reduction and car selling system efficiency combine to produce an unparalleled car sales volume.

Any one can easily test himself for this error by careful reading of his own manuscripts. If he finds a tendency toward prepositionless language, let him take warning from the sentence on motor car cost reduction as a horrible example of space saving efficiency.