with him.' Christ himself never reconciled God to sin; and the sinner and sin are so nearly related, that notwithstanding the death of Christ, you shall feel that iniquity dwelleth not with God, but he hateth the workers of it, and the foolish shall not stand in his sight; and that if you will presume to sin because you are his children, "be sure your sin will find you out." O what fears, what shame, what self-abhorrence, and self-revenge will guilt raise in a penitent soul, when it comes into the light of the presence of the Lord! It will unavoidably abate your boldness and your comforts; when you should be sweetly delighting in his pleased face, and promised glory, you will be befooling yourselves for your former sin, and ready even to tear your flesh, to think that ever you should do as you have done, and use him as you would not have used a common friend, and cast yourselves upon his wrath. But an innocent soul, or pacified conscience, doth walk with God in quietness and delight, without those frowns and fears which are a taste of hell to others. Direct. 4. If you would comfortably converse with God, be sure that you bring not idols in your hearts.' Take heed of inordinate affection to any creature. Let all things else be nothing to you, that you may have none to take up your thoughts but God. Let your minds be further separate from them than your bodies; bring not into solitude or contemplation, a proud, or lustful, or covetous mind it much more concerneth thee, what heart thou bringest, than what place thou art in, or what work thou art upon. A mind that is drowned in ambition, sensuality, or passion, will scarce find God any sooner in a wilderness than in a crowd (unless he be there returning from those sins to God), wherever he seeth him, God will not own and be familiar with so foul a soul. Seneca could say, 'Quid prodest totius regionis silentium, si affectus fremunt?' What good doth the silence of all the country do thee, if thou have the noise of raging affections within? And Gregory saith, 'Qui corpore remotus vivit, &c.' He that in body is far enough from the tumult of human conversation, is not in solitude, if he busy himself with earthly cogitations and desires : and he is not in the city, that is not troubled with the tumult of the worldly cares and fears, though he be pressed with the popular crowds. Bring not thy house, or land, or credit, or carnal friend along with thee in thine heart, if thou desire and expect to walk in heaven, and to converse with God. · Direct. 5. Live still by faith; let faith lay heaven and earth as it were together.' Look not at God as if he were far off; set him always as before you, even as at your right hand. (Psal. xvi. 8.) Be still with him when you awake. (Psal. cxxxix. 18.) In the morning thank him for your rest; and deliver up yourself to his conduct and service for that day. Go forth as with him, and to do his work; do every action, with the command of God, and the promise of heaven before your eyes, and upon your hearts: live as those that have incomparably more to do with God and heaven, than with all this world; that you may say with David, (as afore cited), "Whom have I in heaven but thee! and there is none on earth that I desire besides thee." (Psal. xxxvii. 25, 26.) And with Paul, "To me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Phil. i. 21.) You must shut up the eye of sense (save as subordinate to faith), and live by faith upon a God, a Christ, and a world that is unseen, if you would know by experience what it is to be above the brutish life of sensualists, and to converse with God. O Christian, if thou hast rightly learned this blessed life, what a high and noble soul-conversation wouldst thou have! How easily wouldst thou spare, and how little wouldst thou miss the favour of the greatest, the presence of any worldly comfort! City or solitude would be much alike to thee, saving that the place and state would be best to thee, where thou hast the greatest help and freedom to converse with God. Thou wouldst say of human society as Seneca, Unus pro populo mihi est, et populus pro uno; mihi satis est unus, satis est nullus.' One is instead of all the people to me, and the people as one; one is enough for me, and none is enough. Thus being taken up with God, thou mightest live in prison as at liberty, and in a wilderness as in a city, and in a place of banishment as in thy native land; "for the earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof;" and every where thou mayst find him, and converse with him, and lift up pure hands unto him in every place thou art within the sight of home; and heaven is in thine eye, and thou art conversing with that God, in whose converse the highest angels do place their highest felicity and delight. : How little cause then have all the church's enemies to triumph, that can never shut up a true believer from the presence of his God; nor banish him into such a place where he cannot have his conversation in heaven! The stones that were cast at holy Stephen, could not hinder him from seeing the heavens opened, and Christ sitting at the right hand of God. A Patmos allowed holy John communion with Christ, being there in the Spirit on the Lord's-day. (Rev. i. 9, 10.) Christ never so speedily and comfortably owneth his servants, as when the world disowneth them, and abuseth them for his sake, and hurls them up and down as the scorn and offscouring of all. He quickly found the blind man that he had cured, when once the Jews had cast him out. (John ix. 35.) Persecutors do but promote the blessedness and exceeding joy of sufferers for Christ. (Matt. v. 11, 12.) And how little reason then have Christians, to shun such sufferings, by unlawful means, which turn to their so great advantage! and to give so dear as the hazard of their souls by wilful sin, to escape the honour, and safety, and commodity of martyrdom! And indeed we judge not, we love not, we live not, as sanctified ones must do, if we judge not that the truest liberty and love is not as the best condition, in which we may best converse with God. And O how much harder is it to walk with God in a court, in the midst of sensual delights, than in a prison or wilderness where we have none to interrupt us, and nothing else to take us up! It is our prepossessed minds, our earthly hearts, our carnal affections and concupiscence, and the pleasures of a prosperous state that are the prison and the jailors of our souls. Were it not for these, how free should we be, though our bodies were confined to the straitest room! He is at liberty that can walk in heaven, and have access to God, and make use of all the creatures in the world, to the promoting of this his heavenly conversation. And he is the prisoner whose soul is chained to flesh and earth, and confined to his lands and houses, and feedeth on the dust of worldly riches, or walloweth in the dung and filth of gluttony, drunkenness and lust; that are far from God, and desire not to be near him; but say to him, Depart from us, we would not have the knowledge of thy ways that love their prison and chains so well, that they would not be set free, but hate those with the most cruel hatred that endeavour their deliverance. Those are the poor prisoners of Satan that have not liberty to believe, nor love God, nor converse in heaven, nor seriously to mind or seek the things that are high and honourable; that have not liberty to meditate or pray, or seriously to speak of holy things, nor to love and converse with those that do so: that are tied so hard to the drudgery of sin, that they have not liberty one month, or week, or day, to leave it, and walk with God so much as for a recreation! But he that liveth in the family of God, and is employed in attending him, and doth converse with Christ, and the host of holy ones above, in reason should not much complain of his want of friends, or company, or accommodations, nor yet be too impatient of any corporal confinement. Lastly, be sure then most narrowly to watch your hearts, that nothing have entertainment there, which is against your liberty of converse with God. Fill not those hearts with worldly trash, which are made and new-made to be the dwelling-place of God. Desire not the company which would diminish your heavenly acquaintance and correspondence. Be not unfriendly, nor conceited of a self-sufficiency; but yet beware lest under the honest ingenuous title of a friend, a special, prudent, faithful friend, you should entertain an idol, or an enemy to your love of God, or a corrival and competitor with your highest friend; for if you do, it is not the specious title of a friend that will save you from the thorns and briars of disquietment, and from greater troubles than ever you found from open enemies. O blessed be that high and everlasting Friend, who is every way suited to the upright souls; to their minds, their memories, their delight, their love, &c. by surest truth, by fullest goodness, by clearest light, by dearest love, by firmest constancy, &c.O why hath my drowsy and darksighted soul been so seldom with him? Why hath it so often, so strangely, and so unthankfully passed by, and not observed him, nor hearkened to his kindest calls? O what is all this trash and trouble that hath filled my memory, and employed my mind, and cheated and corrupted my affections, while my dearest Lord hath been days and nights so unworthily forgotten, so contemptuously neglected and disregarded, and loved as if I loved him not! O that these drowsy and those waking nights, those loitered, lost, and empty hours had been spent in the humblest converse with him, which have been dreamed and doted away uponnow I know not what! O my God, how much wiser and happier had I been had I rather chosen to mourn with thee, than to rejoice and sport with any other! O that I had rather wept with thee, than laughed with the creature! For the time to come let that be my friend, that most befriendeth my dark, and dull, and backward soul, in its undertaken progress, and heavenly conversation! or if there be none such upon earth, let me here take no one for my friend! O blot out every name from my corrupted heart, which hindereth the deeper engraving of thy name! Ah, Lord, what a stone, what a blind, ungrateful thing, is a heart not touched with celestial love! yet shall I not run to thee, when I have none else that will know me! shall I not draw near thee, when all fly from me! when daily experience crieth out so loud, NONE BUT CHRIST; GOD OR NOTHING.' Ah foolish heart, that hast not thought of it. Where is that place, that cave or desert, where I might soonest find thee, and fallest enjoy thee? is it in the wilderness that thou walkest, or in the crowd; in the closet, or in the church? where is it that I might soonest meet with God?' But, alas! I now perceive, that I have a heart to find, before I am like to find my Lord! O loveless, lifeless, stony heart! that is dead to him that gave it life! and to none but him! Could I not love, or think, or feel at all, methinks I were less dead than now! less dead, if dead, than now I am alive! I had almost said, 'Lord, let me never love more till I can love thee! nor think more on any thing till I can more willingly think of thee!' But I must suppress that wish; for life will act and the mercies and motions of nature are necessary to those of grace. And therefore in the life of nature, and in the glimmerings of thy light, I will wait for more of the celestial life! My God, thou hast my consent! it is here attested under my hand: Separate me from what and whom thou wilt, so I may but be nearer thee!' Let me love thee more, and feel more of thy love, and then let me love or be beloved of the world, as little as thou wilt. I thought self-love had been a more predominant thing; but now I find that repentance hath its anger, its hatred and its revenge! I am truly angry with the heart that hath so oft and foolishly offended thee! Methinks I hate that heart |