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to the parts extreme. It illuminateth the face, which, as a beacon, gives warning to all the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm: and, then, the vital commoners, and inland petty fpirits, mufter me all to their captain, the heart; who, great, aud puffed up with this retinue, doth any deed of courage and this valour comes of fherris. So that fkill in the weapon is nothing without fack, for that fets it awork; and learning a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil, till fack commences it, and fets it in act and use. Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the cold blood he did naturally inherit of his father he hath, like lean, fterile, and bare land, manured, hufbanded, and tilled, with drinking good, and good store of fertile fherris.-If I had a thousand fons, the first human principle I would teach them, fhould be-To forfwear thin potations, and to addict themfelves to fack. Shakespeare.

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§ 123. Hotspur reading a Letter. But, for mine own part, my lord, I "could be well contented to be there, in refpect of the love I bear your houfe." -He could be contented to be there! Why is he not then ?-In respect of the love he bears our house! He fhews in this, he loves his own barn better than he loves our houfe. Let me fee fome more. "The "purpose you undertake is dangerous." -Why, that's certain: 'tis dangerous to take a cold, to fleep, to drink: but I tell you, my lord fool, out of this nettle danger, we pluck this flower fafety. "The purpofe you undertake is dangerous; "the friends you have named, uncertain; "the time itself, unforted; and your whole "plot too light, for the counterpoife of fo great an oppofition."-Say you fo, fay you fo? I fay unto you again, you are a fhallow cowardly hind, and you lie. What a lackbrain is this! Our plot is a good plot as ever was laid; our friends true and conftant; a good plot, good friends, and full of expectation; an excellent plot, very good friends. What a frofty-fpirited rogue this is! Why, my lord of York commends the plot, and the general courfe of the action. By this hand, if I were now by this rafcal, I could brain him with his lady's fan. Is there not my father, my uncle, and myfelf; lord Edmund Mortimer, my lord of York, and Owen Glendower? Is there not, befides, the Douglas? Have I not all their letters, to meet me in arms by the ninth of the next

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month? and are there not fome of them fet forward already? What a Pagan rafcal is this! an infidel!-Ha! you fhall fee now, in very fincerity of fear and cold heart, will he to the king, and lay open all our proceedings. O! I could divide myfelf, and go to buffets, for moving fuch a difh of skimmed milk with fo honourable an action.-Hang him! let him tell the king. We are prepared, I will fet forward to-night. Ibid.

$124. Falstaff's Soliloquy on Honour.

But

Owe Heaven a death! 'Tis not due yet; and I would be loth to pay him before his day. What need I be fo forward with him that calls not on me?-Well, 'tis no matter, honour pricks me on. how if honour prick me off when I come on? how then? Can honour fet to a leg? no: or an arm? no: or take away the grief of a wound? no. Honour hath no fkill in furgery, then? no. What is honour? a word. What is that word honour? air; a trim reckoning. Who hath it? he that died a Wednesday. Doth he feel it? no. Doth he hear it? no. infenfible then? yea to the dead. But will it not live with the living? no. Why? detraction will not fuffer it; therefore, I'll none of it: honour is a mere 'fcutcheon; and fo ends my catechism. Ibid.

$125. The perfect Speaker.

Is it

Imagine to yourselves a Demofthenes addrefling the moft illuftrious affembly in the world, upon a point whereon the fate of the moit illuftrious of nations depended. -How awful fuch a meeting! How vast the fubject!—Is man poffeffed of talents adequate to the great occafion? Adequate

yes, fuperior. By the power of his eloquence, the auguftness of the affembly is loft in the dignity of the orator; and the importance of the fubject, for a while, fuperfeded, by the admiration of his talents.

With what ftrength of argument, with what powers of the fancy, with what emotions of the heart, does he affault and fubjugate the whole man, and, at once, captivate his reafon, his imagination, and his paffions!-To effect this, must be the utmoft effort of the most improved ftate of human nature.-Not a faculty that he poffeffes, is here unemployed: not a faculty that he poffeffes, but is here exerted to its highest pitch. All his internal powers are at work: all his external, teftify their energies. Within, the memory, the fancy,

the

the judgment, the paffions, are all bufy: without, every muscle, every nerve, is exerted; not a feature, not a limb, but speaks. The organs of the body, attuned to the exertions of the mind, through the kindred organs of the hearers, inftantaneously, and as it were with an electrical fpirit, vibrate thofe energies from foul to foul.-Notwithstanding the diverfity of minds in fuch a multitude, by the lightning of eloquence, they are melted into one mafs-the whole affembly, actuated in one and the fame way, become, as it were, but one man, and have but one voice. The univerfal cry is Let us march against Philip-let us fight for our liberties let us conquer-or die!

$126. Diftempers of the Mind cured.

Sir,

Being bred to the ftudy of phyfic, and having obferved, with forrow and regret, that whatever fuccefs the faculty may meet with in bodily diftempers, they are generally baffled by distempers of the mind, I have made the latter the chief fubject of my attention, and may venture to affirm, that my labour has not been thrown away. Though young in my profeffion, I have had a tolerable fhare of experience, and have a right to expect, that the credit of fome extraordinary cures I have performed will furnish me with opportunities of performing more. In the mean time, I require it of you, not as a favour to myself, but as an act of justice to the public, to infert the following in your Chronicle.

Mr. Abraham Bufkin, taylor, was horri bly infected with the itch of ftage-playing, to the grievous difcomfiture of his wife, and the great detriment of nine fmall children. I prevailed with the manager of one of the theatres to admit him for a fingle night in the character of Othello, in which it may be remembered that a but ton-maker had formerly diftinguished himfelf; when, having fecured a feat in a convenient corner of the gallery, by the dexterous application of about three pecks of potatoes to the finciput and occiput of the patient, I entirely cured him of his delirium ; and he has ever fince betaken himfelf quietly to his needle and thimble.

Mr. Edward Snap was of fo choleric a temper, and fo extremely apt to think himfelf affronted, that it was reckoned dangerous even to look at him. I tweaked him by the nose, and adminiftered the proper application behind; and he is now fo goodhumoured, that he will take the groffeft

affront imaginable without fhewing the least resentment.

The reverend Mr. Puff, a methodist preacher, was fo extravagantly zealous and laborious in his calling, that his friends were afraid he would bawl himself into a confumption. By my interest with a noble lord, I procured him a living with a reasonable income; and he now behaves himself like a regular divine of the esta. blifhed church, and never gets into a pulpit.

Mrs. Diana Bridle, a maiden lady, about forty years of age, had a conceit that the was with child. I advised her to convert her imaginary pregnancy into a real one, by taking a husband; and fhe has never been troubled with any fancies of that kind fince.

Mr. William Moody, an elderly gentleman, who lived in a folitary part Kent, was apt to be very low-fpirited in an easterly wind. I nailed his weathercock to a wefterly point; and at prefent, whichfoever way the wind blows, he is equally cheerful.

Alexander Stingo, Efq; was fo ftrongly poffeffed by the spirit of witticifm, that he would not condefcend to open his lips for any thing less than an epigram. Under the influence of this malady he has been fo deplorably dull, that he has often been filent a whole week together. I took him into my own house: instead of laughing at his jefts, I either pronounced them to be puns, or paid no attention to them at all. In a month I perceived a wonderful alteration in him for the better: from thinking without fpeaking, he began to fpeak without thinking; at prefent never fays a good thing, and is a very agreeable companion. I likewife cured a lady of a longing for ortolans, by a dozen of Dunstable larks; and could fend you many other remarkable inftances of the efficacy of my prefcriptions; but these are fufficient for a fpecimen. I am, &c.

Bonnel Thornton.

§ 127. Character of a Choice Spirit. Sir,

That a tradefman has no bufinefs with humour, unless perhaps in the way of his dealing; or with writing, unless in his fhop-book, is a truth, which I believe nobody will dispute with me. I am so unfortunate however as to have a nephew, who, not contented with being a grocer, is in danger of abfolute ruin by his ambition

I affured him, that fo far from having any relish for these deteftable noises, the more they refembled the originals the lefs I fhould like them; and, if I could ever be fool enough to go, fhould at least be wife enough to ftop my ears till I came out again.

of being a wit; and having forfaken his " fquabble; and a hog in a flaughtercounter for Comus's Court, and dignified" house." himself with the appellation of a Choice Spirit, is upon the point of becoming a bankrupt. Inftead of diftributing his fhopbills as he ought, he waftes a dozen in a morning, by fcribbling threds of his nonfenfe upon the back of them; and a few days fince affronted an alderman, his beft customer, by fending him a pound of prunes wrapt up in a ballad he had juft written, called, The Citizen outwitted, or a Bob for the Manfion-Houfe.

He is likewife a regular frequenter of the play-houses, and, being acquainted with every underling of each theatre, is at an annual expence of ten pounds in tickets for their respective benefits. They generally adjourn together from the play to the tavern; and there is hardly a watchman, within a mile of Covent-garden, but has had his head or his lantern broke by one or other of the ingenious fraternity.

I turned into his fhop this morning, and had no fooner fet my foot upon the threshold, than he leaped over the counter, threw himself into an attitude, as he calls it, and afked me, in the words of fome play that I remember to have feen formerly, "Whe

ther I was a spirit of health, or a goblin "damn'd?" I told him he was an undutiful young dog for daring to accoft his uncle in that irreverent manner; and bid him speak like a Chriftian, and a reafonable perfon. Inftead of being fenfible of my rebuke, he took off his wig, and having very deliberately given it two or three twirls upon his fift, and pitched it upon his head again, faid I was a dry old fellow, and fhould certainly afford them much. entertainment at the club, to which he had the impudence to invite me: at the fame time he thruft a card into my hand, containing a bill of fare for the evening's entertainment; and, as a farther inducement, affured me that Mr. Twifter himself would be in the chair; that he was a great creature, and fo prodigiously droll, that though he had heard him fing the fame fongs, and repeat the fame ftories, a thousand times, he could fill attend to him with as much pleasure as at first. I caft my eye over the fift, and can recollect the following items:

"To all true Lovers of Fun and Jocularity.

"Mr. Twifter will this evening take off "a cat, worried by two bull-dogs; ditto, making love in a gutter; the knifegrinder and his wheel; High-Dutch

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Having lamented my deplorable want of tafte, by the elevation of his eye-brows and a fignificant fhrug of his fhoulders, he thruft his fore-finger against the infide of his check, and plucking it out of his mouth with a jerk, made a noife which very much refembled the drawing of a cork: I found, that by this fignal he meant to ask me, if I chofe a whet? I gave my confent by a fulky kind of nod, and walked into the back-room, as much ashamed of my nephew, as he ought to have been of himfelf. While he was gone to fetch a pint of mountain from the other fide of the street, I had an opportunity to minute down a few of the articles of which the litter of his apartment confifted, and have selected thefe, as the most material, from among them:

On one of the fconces by the chimney,
a fmart grizzle bob-wig, well oiled
and powdered, feather-topt, and bag-
fronted.

On the oppofite fconce, a feratch.
On the window-feat, a Nankin waist-
coat, bound with filver twift, without
fkirts or pockets, ftained with red
wine, and pretty much fhrunk.
Item, A pair of buck-fkin breeches, in
one pocket a cat-call, in the other
the mouth of a quart-bottle, chipt and
ground into a smooth ring, very fit to
be used as a spying-glafs by thofe who

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Having taken this inventory of his goods and furniture, I fat down before the fire, to devife, if poffible, fome expedient to reclaim him; when, on a fudden, a found like the braying of an ass, at my elbow, alarmed me to fuch a degree, that I started from my feat in an inftant, and, to my further aftonishment, beheld my nephew, almoft black in the face, covering his ear with the hollow of his hand, and exerting the whole force of his lungs in imitating that refpectable animal: I was fo exafperated at this fresh inftance of his folly, that I told him hastily, he might drink his wine alone, and that I would never fee his face again, till he should think proper to appear in a character more worthy of himself and his family. He followed me to the door without making any reply; and, having advanced into the middle of the ftreet, fell to clapping his fides, and crowing like a cock, with the utmoft vehemence; and continued his triumphant ejaculations till I was fairly out of hearing.

dial with her tea, because it otherwife would make her low-fpirited. But there is an epidemical disorder (that was formerly quite unknown, and even now wants a name) which feizes whole families here in town at this season of the year. As I can. not define it, I fhall not pretend to defcribe or account for it: but one would imagine, that the people were all bit by a mad dog, as the fame remedy is thought neceffary. In a word, of whatever nature the complaint may be, it is imagined that nothing will remove it, but fpending the fummer months in fome dirty fishing-town by the fea-fhore; and the water is judged to be moft efficacious, where there is the greateft refort of afflicted perfons.

I called upon a friend the other morning, in the city, pretty early, about bufinefs, when I was furprized to fee a coach and four at the door, which the 'prentice and book-keeper were loading with trunks, portmanteaus, baskets, and band-boxes. The front-glafs was fcreened by two round paper hat-cafes hung up before it; against one door was placed a guitar-cafe; and a red fattin cardinal, lined and edged with fur, was pinned against the other; while the extremities of an enormous hoop-petticoat refted upon each window. These preparations were undoubtedly for a journey; and when I came in, I found the family were equipped accordingly. The lady. mother was dreffed in a jofeph of scarlet dufil, buttoned down from the breaft to the feet, with a black filk bonnet, tied down to her head with a white handker128. A Citizen's Family fetting out for chief: little mifs (about fixteen years of

Having reached my lodgings, I immediately refolved to fend you an account of his abfurdities; and fhall take this opportunity to inform him, that as he is bleft with fuch a variety of useful talents, and fo completely accomplired as a Choice Spirit, I fhall not do him the injury to confider him as a tradefman, or mortify him hereafter by endeavouring to give him any affiftance

in his business.

Sir,

I am, &c.

Brighthelmstone.

B. Thornton.

That there are many diforders peculiar to the prefent age, which were entirely unknown to our forefathers, will (1 believe) be agreed by all phyficians, efpecially as they find an increafe of their fees from them. For instance, in the language

of the advertisement, "Never were ner"vous diforders more frequent:" we can hardly meet with a lady who is not naa-arcons to the laft degree, though our mothers and grandmothers fcarce ever heard the word Nerves: the gentlemen too are affectated in the fame manner; and even in the country, this diforder has fpread like the fmall-pox, and infected whole villages. I have known a farmer tofs off a glafs of brandy in a morning to prevent his hand fhaking, while his wife has been obliged to have recourfe to the fame cor

age) had a blue camblet jacket, cuffed and lapelled with pink fattin, with a narrow edging of filver lace, a black beaver hat, covered on the outfide with white fhag, and cocked behind, with a filver button and loop, and a blue feather. The old gentleman had very little particular in his drefs, as he wore his ufual pompadourcoloured coat with gilt buttons; only he had added to it a fcarlet cloth waistcoat, with a broad tarnished gold lace, which was made when he was chofen of the common council. Upon my entrance, I naturally afked them if they were going into the country; to which the old lady replied in the affirmative, at the fame time affuring me, that he was forry to take Mr.

from his bufinefs, but he was obliged to it on account of her health. "Health!" fays the old gentleman, “ I "don't underĺtand your whim-whams,

" not

"not I: here has it coft me the lord knows "what in doctors ftuff already, without "your being a pin the better for it; and "now you must lug me and all the family "to Brighthelmftone." "Why, my dear," faid the lady, "you know Dr.

"tells me, there is nothing will do my fpirits fo much good as bathing in the "fea." "The fea!" faid the old gentleman; "why then could not you have "taken lodgings at Gravefend, where I "might have easily come in the evening, "and gone back time enough for 'Change "in the morning?" The good lady told him that he had no tafte, that people of the best fashion went to Brighthelmftone, and that it was high time their girl should see a little of the world. To this mifs affented, by declaring, that indeed she had been no where but to the play, and the cafile-concert, fince she had left the boarding-fchool. Both the females then asked me an hundred queftions, fuch as, whether the fea looked green, and how much bigger it was than the Thames,till the maid gave them notice that every thing was put up. Accordingly, I faw them into the coach; and the old lady did not forget to take the pug-dog with her, who, the declared. fhould go every morning into the tea, as fhe had been told it was good for the mange.

fion of jigging it to the delightful mufic of country fcrapers,-to fay nothing of the calmer and lefs fudorific exercife of the card-table. But what is most ridiculous, is the attention paid to dress in these public retirements, where a gentleman or a lady is expected to appear as gay as at court, or at Ranelagh: confequently, as foon as you arrive at them, you have bills civilly thrust into your hands, acquainting you, that there is fuch an one, a milliner, and fuch an one, an hair-dresser, from London.

I am a fincere well-wisher to your paper, &c.

ANTHONY FRESHWATER.

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I have always thought your mighty good kind of man to be a very good-for-nothing fellow; and whoever is determined to think otherwife, may as well pass over what follows.

The good qualities of a mighty good kind of man (if he has any) are of the negative kind. He does very little harm; but you never find him do any good. He is very decent in appearance, and takes care to have all the externals of fenfe and I cannot but agree with my city friend, virtue; but you never perceive the heart that lodgings at Gravefend would anfwer concerned in any word, thought, or action. all the common purpofes of a jaunt to Not many love him, though very few think Brighthelmftone; for, though one pretence ill of him: to him every body is his "Dear for visiting thefe places is, going into the Sir," though he cares not a farthing for country, people in fact do not leave town, any body but himself. If he writes to you, but rather carry London with them. Their though you have but the slightest acquaintway of living is exactly the fame as here, ance with him, he begins with "Dear Sir," and their amusements not very different. and ends with, "I am, good Sir, your ever They fuffer themselves to be mewed up in "fincere and affectionate friend, and moft a little dirty lodging, with not half fo good" obedient humble fervant." You may a profpect, or to good an air, as in the high generally find him in company with older road at Iflington or Knightsbridge. Their perfons than himfelf, but always with richmornings are drauled away, with perhaps er. He does not talk much; but he has a a faunter upon the beach, which commands "Yes," or a 66 True, Sir," or "You obthe delightful view of half a dozen hoys, " ferve very right, Sir," for every word and as many fishing-fmacks; and if it was that is faid; which, with the old gentry, not for a lounge at the coffee-houfe, or the that love to hear themselves talk, makes bookfeller's, they would be at a lofs how him pafs for a mighty fentible and difcernto fill up the vacant hours till dinner. The ing, as well as a mighty good kind of man. evenings would hang no lefs heavy on their It is fo familiar to him to be agreeable, hands, but for the ingenious contrivance of and he has got fuch a habit of affenting to the affembly-room; where, inftead of en- every thing advanced in company, that he joying the cool temperature of the open does it without the trouble of thinking what air, they choofe to twelter in a crowd, and he is about. I have known fuch a one, afbe almost fuffocated with their own breatas. ter having approved an observation made Add to this the refreshing fummer diver- by one of the company, affent with “ What 3H 2

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