Oct. Disinheriting is the least I can expect. Shift. You should have thought of this before, and not have fallen in love with I know not whom, one that you met by chance in the Dover-coach: She is, indeed, a good snug lass; but God knows what she is besides; perhaps someOct. Villain !

Shift. I have done, sir, I have done,

Oct. I have no friend that can appease my father's anger, and now I shall be betrayed to want and misery.

Shift. For my part, I know but one remedy in our misfortunes.

Oct. Prithee, what is it?

Oct. Besides, my present want must be considered; I am in rebellion without money.

Sca. I have tricks and shifts, too, to get that: I can cheat upon occasion; but cheating is now grown an ill-trade: yet, Heaven be thanked, there were never more cullies and fools; but the greatest rooks and cheats, allowed by public authority, ruin such little undertraders as I am.

Oct. Well, get thee straight about thy business. Canst thou make no use of my rogue here? Sca. Yes, I shall want his assistance; the knave has cunning, and may be useful.

Shift. Ay, sir; but, like other wise men, I am not over-valiant. Pray, leave me out of this business: My fears will betray you; you shall execute, I'll sit at home and advise.

Sca. I stand not in need of thy courage, but

Oct. Well; what of him?

Shift. There is not a more subtle fellow breathing: so cunning, he can cheat one newly cheated: 'tis such a wheedling rogue, I'd undertake, in two hours he shall make your father forgive you all; nay, allow you money for your necessary debauches. I saw him, in three days, make an old cautious lawyer turn chemist and projector! Oct. He is the fittest person in the world for my business; the impudent varlet can do any tg with the peevish old man. Prithee, go look him out; we'll set him a-work immediately. Shift. See where he comes-Monsieur Scapin! Enter SCAPIN.

Oct. Oh, Scapin! I am utterly ruined without thy assistance.

Come, come, thou shalt along: What, man, stand out for a beating? That's the worst can happen. Shift. Well, well.

Clara. Love shall teach me-that can make all things easy to us; which is a sign it is the chiefest good. But I have other cares. Will you be ever constant? Shall not your father's severity constrain you to be false?

Oct. Never, my dearest, never!

Clara. They, that love much, may be allowed some fears.

Sca. Come, come; we have now no time to hear you speak fine tender things to one another. Pray, do you prepare to encounter with your fa

ther.

Oct. I tremble at the thoughts of it.

vian?

Oct. My father is this day arrived at Dover with old Mr Gripe, with a resolution to marry

me.

Sca. Very well.

Oct. Thou knowest I am already married: How will my father resent my disobedience? I am for ever lost, unless thou cau'st find some means to reconcile me to him.

Sca. Does your father know of your marriage? Oct. I am afraid he is by this time acquainted with it.

Sca. No matter, no matter; all shall be well. I am public spirited; I love to help distressed young gentlemen: and, thank Heaven, I have had good success enough.

him to turn soldier: or, what will frighten him worse, say you'll turn poet. Come, I'll warrant you we bring him to composition.

Oct. What would I give 'twere over!

Sca. Let us practise a little what you are to do. Suppose me your father, very grave, and very angry.

Oct. Well.

Sca. Do you look very carelessly, like a small courtier upon his country acquaintance: A little more surlily: Very well.Now, I am full of my fatherly authority.-Octavian, thou makest me weep to see thee; but, alas! they are not tears of joy, but tears of sorrow. Did ever so good a father beget so lewd a son? Nay, but for that I think thy mother virtuous, I should pro

nounce thou art not mine! Newgate-bird, rogue, villain! what a trick hast thou played me in my absence? Married! Yes. But to whom? Nay, that thou knowest not. I'll warrant you some waiting-woman, corrupted in a civil family, and reduced to one of the play-houses; removed from thence by some keeping coxcomb, or——————— Clara. Hold, Scapin, hold

Sca. No offence, lady, I speak but another's words.-Thou abominable rascal, thou shalt not have a groat, not a groat! Besides, I will break all thy bones ten times over! Get thee out of my house!Why, sir, you reply not a word, but stand as bashfully as a girl that is examined by a bawdy judge about a rape!

Oct. Look, yonder comes my father! Sca. Stay, Shift; and get you two gone: Let me alone to manage the old fellow.

[Exeunt OCT. and CLARA.

Enter THRIFTY.

Thrifty. Was there ever such a rash action?

Thrifty. Upon what reason! Hast thou not heard what hath happened in my absence? Sca. I heard a little idle story.

Thrifty. A little idle story, quotha! why, man, my son's undone; my son's undone !

Sca. Come, come, things have not been well carried; but I would advise you to make no more of it.

Thrifty. I'm not of your opinion; I'll make the whole town ring of it!

Sca. Lord, sir, I have stormed about this business as much as you can do for your heart! but what are we both the better? I told him, indeed, Mr Octavian, you do not do well to wrong so good a father: I preached him three or four times asleep; but all would not do; till, at last, when I had well examined the business, I found you had not so much wrong done you as you imagine.

Thrifty. How! not wrong done me, to have my son married, without my consent, to a beggar? Sca. Alas! he was ordained to it.

Thrifty. I would fain hear what they can say for themselves.

Sca. We are not unprovided. [At a distance. Thrifty. Will they be so impudent to deny the thing?

Sca. We never intend it.

Sca. That, perhaps, we may do.

Thrifty. But all shall be in vain.
Sca. We'll try that.

Thrifty. I know how to lay that rogue my son

fast.

Sca. That we must prevent.

Thrifty. And for the tatterdemallion, Shift, I'll thresh him to death; I will be three years a cudgelling him!

Shift. I wondered he had forgot me so long. Thrifty. Oh, ho! Yonder the rascal is, that brave governor! he tutored my son finely!

Sca. Sir, I am overjoyed at your safe return. Thrifty. Good-morrow, Scapin.-Indeed you have followed my instructions very exactly; my son has behaved himself very prudently in my absence has he not, rascal, has he not?

[To SHIFT.

Sca. I hope you are very well. Thrifty. Very well-Thou say'st not a word, varlet; thou say'st not a word!

Sca. Had you a good voyage, Mr Thrifty? Thrifty. Lord, sir! a very good voyage-Pray, give a man a little leave to vent his choler! Sca. Would you be in choler, sir? Thrifty. Ay, sir, I would be in choler. Sca. Pray, with whom?

Thrifty. With that confounded rogue there! Sca. Upon what reason?

witness my charge, Leander, who has gone and thrown away himself at a stranger rate than your son. I would fain know, if you were not once young yourself. Yes, I warrant you, and had your frailties.

Thrifty. Yes; but they never cost me any thing: A man may be as frail and as wicked as he please, if it cost him nothing.

Sca. Alas! he was so in love with the young wench, that if he had not had her, he must have certainly hanged himself.

Shift. Must! why, he had already done it, but that I came very seasonably, and cut the rope.

Thrifty. Didst thou cut the rope, dog? I'll murder thee for that! thou shouldst have let him hang!

Sca. Besides, her kindred surprised him with her, and forced him to marry her.

Thrifty. Then should he have presently gone, and protested against the violence at a notary's. Sca. O Lord, sir! he scorned that,

Thrifty. Then might I easily have disannulled the marriage.

Sca. Disannul the marriage?

Thrifty. Yes.

Sca. You shall not break the marriage. Thrifty. Shall not I break it?

Sca, No.

Thrifty. What! shall not I claim the privilege