Зображення сторінки
PDF
ePub

MERICAS.

By CLEMENTINA BLACK, Author of "A Sussex Idyl."
(Continued from page 491.)

THE grave face of Mr. Godstone,
who had paused in his talk to Lady
Pentwhistle to hear the mournful
ballad, which I had chosen because
I knew it to be his favourite,
moved me more, a hundredfold, than
all the elegancies of this fine gen-
tleman. I drew back into a corner,
and amused myself by comparing
the one with the other. Mr.
Preston would, doubtless, have
been reckoned the handsomer-the
advantages of youth, fashion, and
a more careful attire were his; but
on Mr. Godstone's side of the
account lay a nobility of soul,
which shone through his face, and
gave to him a simple dignity whose
charm far outweighed the restless
vivacity of the other. A child or
a dog might have looked askance
at the keen smile of Mr. Preston,
but would have come to touch the
hand, or lay itself at the feet, of
Mr. Godstone.

[blocks in formation]

trusted, therefore, that all might pass well; the rather, that Mr. Preston made only regretful allusions to the ball. Mr. Godstone was not to be of the party, having made his excuses to her ladyship on the score of a business engagement.

And now I must own the plain truth. truth. When once I had set foot in the brilliant room, heard the enticing music, and put my hand into that of my elegant cavalier, I thought no more of Letty's jealousy, my own dislike of Mr. Preston, or anything else, save the exceeding pleasure of the dance, and the gratification of feeling many eyes upon us. A consciousness of power and triumph came to me. I suppose I felt something of the intoxication which attends on beauties, and leads them, often, to so excessive displays of coquetry. Such a moment comes once, perhaps, to every woman, as I have heard it said that even the homely have their moment of beauty, once in their lives. I do not care to recall the time. The feelings which ruled in my breast were, I know, ungenerous, and, I think, even unwomanly. They taught me to think less hardly of those whose temptations are great, but they made me unwilling to turn my eyes inward upon myself.

Dance followed dance. I heard more than one voice ask who was the little lady in the primrosecoloured dress. Others I heard, who praised our graceful dancing;

and, certainly, never have I walked a minuet with a partner who so perfectly fulfilled the meaning of the dance. One spirit seemed to stir in us both, as we moved, foot to foot, and fall to fall, of the pulsing music. If life were all a minuet, I would have desired no other companion to walk it with me. I have thought, too, that, though I had by no means his grace of person, I may have been a more fitting partner to him than a finer woman, for though, beholding him, one was unwilling to confess any external fault in him, his elegance touched almost the limits of effeminacy. I, little and slight as I was, might the rather give manliness to a form which, standing beside Miss Rolandi, might have appeared-though but a little-to want strength and tallness. perhaps I, accustomed to the stately height of Mr. Godstone, may scarce have judged fairly of Mr. Preston, and, certainly, I never heard others speak of his outer looks as less than perfect.

But

As we rode home from Lady Pentwhistle's, Madame Rolandi and Letty were both out of spirits, and Letty more than a little pettish. On me had fallen the blankness which was apt-partly, I think, because I was not very robust-to follow any strong pleasure, so that I leaned back, and said little. Mr. Preston, however, talked enough for all. He sat by me, Letty and her mother facing us. He addressed all his discourse to Letty, and presently I saw a light of pleasure stealing into her eyes, and the sweet rosiness dawning upon her cheek. Once he touched her hand, and the rose deepened. "Oh, man!" I thought; "you who claim to be stronger and nobler than we, how can you complain of woman, if you, too, can trifle thus with a thing so sacred as a girl's first love?"

And as I descended the last from the carriage, and laid my hand in his, he let fall upon me a laughing glance of mocking triumph, which sent me in, sad at heart, and ashamed of him, of myself, and of the world.

Now, I knew that, not many days later, we were to go to another ball, and "surely," I had thought, "this time Mr. Preston will invite Miss Rolandi."

But, to my surprise, when I happened to be alone in the drawingroom next morning—a thing which, since his coming, I had avoided, but now was busy arranging flowers in the china pots-Mr. Preston came in, and in a hurried manner, said to me," Miss Armento, may I hope to renew on Monday the joys of last night ?"

I would not understand him; partly, indeed, I did doubt whether he could possibly mean to neglect Letty once more.

"I hope you may, I am sure," I replied, indifferently, and, turning my back upon him, while I took out some roses which were faded, and replaced them by fresh ones. He followed me, and I heard his voice close at my ear.

"Nay, but may I hope indeed? May I again have you for my partner ?"

I went round the table to another vase, and when the table was between us, looked him in the face, and said, "No, sir. I thank you for your politeness, but it is impossible."

"How impossible?

one been before me ?"

Has some

I did not reply. I hoped he might believe it, without forcing me to say that it was so.

"Am I too late? he asked again, in an accent which was ridiculously despairing for such an occasion.

I bowed my head affirmatively, and he turned away with an

impatient gesture. I was just thinking how luckily I had got over the scene, when I felt my hand caught in his, his quick breath among my hair, and his voice at my ear again, "Will you not look at me? What have I done that

you hate me?"

"Sir," said I, turning sharply round, "will you set this vase for me on the chimney-board? I can scarce reach so high." And I pointed out a heavy pot, which he, looking a little disconcerted, took in both hands and set me free.

I hastened to sweep the rest of the roses, new and old, into my apron, that I might at once escape. He returned, however, upon me before I had finished; but we were now face to face, and so long as I looked at him, I felt able to keep him in check.

"You will pay me for my service, will you not ?" he said, "with a rose as sweet as yourself."

"Oh, by all means," I answered; and, taking up a large tea-rose, whose creamy tints melted almost into a yellow brown, added "This, I think, is as near as may be to my complexion."

I held it out, but he hesitated, and, saying "It is overblown: this, rather, resembles you," took from my apron a scarce opened damask bud, whose dye was the deepest carnation, and fixed it in his coat, where it showed upon the pale brown with so much advantage that I could not but suspect him of having chosen it for that cause. I dropped him a curtsey-said, from the threshold of the door, "Remember, sir, it is of your taking, not my giving," and vanished, taking with me the impression of his face, changed from gratification to vexation.

On the stairs I passed Letty, who was coming to the drawing room. With what face he could receive her I know not, nor what

he could say to make her look so happy as, all the day after, she did.

That evening, there were again visitors. Mr. Preston, to my great relief, scarce spoke to me, but passing by me, he looked at me, and carried his hand to the rose which still bloomed in his coat. There was singing that evening also, but I would not be prevailed on to take part-not although Mr. Godstone asked it of me. And I saw in Madame Rolandi's eyes that she approved my refusal, for she had given me pretty clearly to understand that I had held too forward a place, the night before. Though, indeed," she said, "'twas rather Mr. Ellcott's doing than yours, who fore-engaged Letty." And when she said this, how thankful was I that I had refused to dance yet another time with Mr. Preston.

[ocr errors]

It was on the next day to this that a little incident happened which vexed me much. After dinner, when we were sitting all together in the drawing room, Mr. Preston begged to have the ladies' opinion on a copy of verses which he had writ the night before. Madame Rolandi of course, consented, and he read the following to us:

TO CYNTHIA, SINGING.
A nymph in yonder grove I heard,
Like Philomela, sing.
Her voice was like a mounting bird
That soars with quivering wing.
A slave, enthralled by music's chain,
I stood before her throne;
My tender heart, with pleasing pain,
Confessed itself her own.

But when to paint my woes I strove,
She mocked me into air.

Ye gods! why made ye cold to love
One whom ye made so fair?
How comes it that so sweet a song
From frozen lips should flow?
Or she who lights a flame so strong
Should fail to feel its glow?

But, Syren, cease to mock a fire

With which you yet may burn;
You, too, by Cupid's vengeful ire,
May love without return.

And, Muse, that didst inspire the fair,
Inspire her lover too,
Lest, if I perish in despair,

Dame Venus frown on you.

I felt myself grow hot all over with annoyance. Madame Rolandi began to say some very handsome things about his elegant fancy. Letty looked down, blushing, smiling with a pretty wavering smile, and twisting her fingers in the ribbons of her apron. I could scarce, as I looked at her, forbear my indignation against the man who could proffer undesired attentions to another woman under the mask of her all but avowed preference. I could not but behold with amazement the effrontery which could meet her candid blue eyes, lay the paper, bowing, upon her lap, and then turn to shoot a glance of appeal from under his eyelids at me. I felt as if the dagger which my countrywomen are said to have worn wound in their locks for the avenging of love-falsehoods would have been a temptation to my fingers.

That evening, Letty came to my room, her eyes shining with a great delight.

"Oh, Mericas!" said she, and took me round the neck, and kissed me.

I felt tears of great compassion rise up for her in my heart, but I could not say a word.

Then she drew from the pocket of her apron the paper with the verses, and read them through again with a trembling voice. But when she came to these two lines:

'You, too, by Cupid's vengeful ire,

May love without return,' she looked at me with an April smile, sweet tears in her eyes, and shook her head. "Oh, Mericas!" said she again, " If you could but know how happy I am! Is he not the handsomest man you ever saw?"

I was glad that I could truly answer I thought he was.

"And such a noble air! and so modest too! None of the confidence of that odious Captain Ferrers." Then again she looked at the paper.

"And are they not sweet verses, Mericas?

'My tender heart, with pleasing pain, Confessed itself her own.'

Ah! but I must not be too cold, must I? I do not mean to drive him to despair. I do confess that I was a little vexed that he went away from the harpsichord while I was singing.”

Then she laid the paper against her cheek, and let her fresh, young lips but just touch it, yet that touch brought the roses after it. I think, if I could have spoken to Mr. Preston at that moment, I might have shamed him into a better conduct. It was well that Letty, involved in her own love, scarcely perceived my silence.

Now, during all these days, I was rather troubled, because I had, in truth, no partner for Mrs. Courtenay's ball. More than once I inclined to feign an indisposition and so stay at home; but besides that I disliked the crookedness of the expedient, I feared lest the watchful Mr. Preston should perceive that no cavalier came up to inquire what had become of me. And on Sunday, I thought that the matter would be settled happily, for Captain Ferrers made me his request, and, though I did not greatly like him, I was about to take it with gratitude, when I found that Mr. Preston's eye was upon me, and knew that he was listening. I dared not, in his hearing, accept, and was forced to tell the Captain, what was indeed very true, that a previous gentleman's offer obliged me, with regret, to decline his. But I was much vexed, and feared that Mr. Preston would so watch me at the ball

that I should have no chance of agreeing with a partner there; and so I resolved to throw myself on the kindness of Mr. Godstone. I boldly followed him out, as he was going to his horse on Monday morning. He rode out, generally, from the back of the house, the road being less crowded, and he loving to ride at a good speed.

"Sir," said I, running out, "may I speak to you?"

66

Certainly," said Mr. Godstone, turning with his kindly look, and at once removing his hat. If I should live a thousand years, I think I should never forget his look, as he stood bareheaded in the sunshine, the light glancing on his light-brown hair, which he wore always unpowdered, and in which, for all his pretence at age, there was not a grey hair, his head bent a little to listen, his hat and whip in his hand, and his long riding cloak hanging loosely from his shoulders. I drew a long breath, and knew not how to begin. The uneasy pawing of his horse warned me that I must not keep him.

66

Sir," said I, "you know we are going to Mrs. Courtenay's ball tonight, and Mr. Preston asked me to dance with him, but I thought -I mean-I wished not to dance with him again, and I could give no reason to him; and when he asked me, 'Had someone been beforehand ?' I did not deny it. And now I have no partner, and what shall I do? for he will find out that I was promised to no one else; and I had to refuse Captain Ferrers, too, because Mr. Preston was listening. And, oh, sir, will you be so good as to find a partner for me? I do not care who it is." Mr. Godstone smiled with a smile that laughed from his eyes as well as his lips, and answered, "If you care so little, would you accept an ancient cavalier?”

[ocr errors][ocr errors][merged small][merged small][merged small]

66

Nay, Mericas, surely the gentleman, not the lady, has cause, on such an occasion, for gratitude."

Then, bowing, he lifted my fingers to his lips, but scarce touched them, and, looking at me with a face grown grave again, turned away to his horse. I went slowly to the house, but in the doorway paused and looked back. He, too, was looking back. I curtsied, and he, with a bright smile, waved his hat to me, and rode away.

I ran indoors, and flew up to my own room, singing for joy. I looked out my dress for the night. I laid this ribbon and that against my face. I resolved that, if I was to have the honour of being Mr. Godstone's partner, I would, if possible, not disgrace his choice. I almost forgave Mr. Preston, since he was the cause of my happiness.

And in the evening, behold! Mr. Godstone was all in a light dress, save, indeed, that his coat was of a dark red, laced with gold. And, beckoning me towards him, he said, with a smile, "Mericas, you see I have had a mind for your sake to outshine even the all-conquering Preston; but I see there is one thing which I have forgotten. Have you never a blue ribbon to tie my hair in the place of this black one?"

To be sure I had, and I hastened to fetch it. He drew back a little from the others, and I tied it, though I could scarce reach to do it with ease. And when it was fastened, I could not but think with admiration of his appearance. "You may boast of your work,

« НазадПродовжити »